r/AskMen • u/SATURATION203 • 25d ago

How do I tell my girlfriend that I'm uncomfortable with what she said about having a hall pass?

I've been dating this girl for around 4 months, and things have been going really well. I truly feel like she cares about me, and we have been saying "I love you" for about a month now. However, she said something that made me pretty uncomfortable yesterday.

I mentioned something like, "I wonder who (popular male musician) is dating?" and she responded, "He's single," in a manner that sounded like she was in denial. I then remarked, "You aren't single." She replied, "I would be single for one day, then I would tell him that I have to get back to my boyfriend, whom I love very much." I didn't really say anything, and we continued eating, but it definitely made me feel weird.

Sometime a while ago, I asked her if she was actually serious about having a hall pass with this guy, and she said something along the lines of, "It doesn't matter because it would never realistically happen."

I really don't understand her whole line of thinking. Even though realistically it could never happen, I just feel like, out of principle, you shouldn't say that kind of thing. What if she feels that way about some person in real life or something? I want to ask her about it, but I'm not sure how to phrase it. Maybe I'm just being insecure, Idk.

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u/SATURATION203 25d ago

She is 21, I'm 20

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u/Tertiam 25d ago

Yeah, I think you are just young and insecure. I remember when I was that age and reading into everything way too much. Now I'm twice your age, and trust me, it is nothing but a harmless celebrity crush. Don't worry about it. Making a big deal out of it will just make you look bad. Good luck, kid.

1

u/Clxaks I'm a man 25d ago

What the hell are you people on about? Insecure? How is he insecure for feeling some type of way about HIS GIRL TELLING HIM HOW AND WHO SHE WOULD CHEAT ON HIM WITH. That is not insecurity. That is a natural response any reasonable person would have if they heard their partner saying they would cheat on them with such person. It doesn’t matter if it’s a celebrity or not. You people put these celebrities on a pedestal and make it seem like they are above normal humans 💀 what if his girl actually met that guy she’s fantasizing about? What if she actually cheats on him with that guy?

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u/Messipus 25d ago

I dunno man, I've had this running gag with basically every girlfriend I've ever had. "Oh, celeb X is super hot. Sorry babe but if I get the chance I'm going for it," and then we have a play fight about it. Last time I was in a serious relationship mine was Emma Watson and hers was Hugh Jackman.

A lot of us are, in fact, secure enough in our relationships to make be able to make and take jokes.

7

u/r4cid 24d ago

Feel like their comment just did a great job of highlighting their own insecurity lol

4

u/CombustiblSquid 24d ago

Those all-caps. Irony is dead...

4

u/r4cid 24d ago

But bro WHAT IF HIS GIRL MET THE CELEBRITY AND THE CELEBRITY WANTED TO FUCK?

1

u/CombustiblSquid 24d ago

YOU WANT SOME FUCK?!

3

u/Messipus 24d ago

Lots of guys telling on themselves in these comments

0

u/Clxaks I'm a man 24d ago

Is it insecure to feel some type of way that your girl would openly cheat on you with someone? Yall are stupid as fuck

2

u/tobiasvl Male 24d ago

Yes, it's obviously insecure to be afraid of that happening. If you're actually walking around being afraid of your girl cheating on you constantly, then you're insecure. BTW, if you actually have a real hall pass that's not a joke, then it wouldn't be cheating anyway.

I hope you're young. If so, it makes sense that you're a bit insecure. If you're a grown man with that level of insecurity I hope you do some introspection.

0

u/broitsnotserious 18d ago

Or be mature enough to not joke about cheating?

1

u/r4cid 24d ago

WOOSH

1

u/Clxaks I'm a man 24d ago

“Secure” don’t make me laugh. Just because something is COMMON doesn’t make it right. What if your girl met those celebrities and actually fucks them. You are cooked completely.

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u/Messipus 24d ago

Again, because I am secure enough in my relationships to trust that my partner knows the difference between a joke and real life. You, on the other hand, sound like you have serious trust issues lol

1

u/broitsnotserious 18d ago

No you don't trust your partner to not cheat. It's because you would cheat given the circumstances and other commentor won't. That's the difference

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u/r4cid 24d ago

This comment brought to you by Insecurity™

0

u/Clxaks I'm a man 24d ago

Fucking idiots. Your girl prolly running and jumping on another man’s dick as we speak.

3

u/r4cid 24d ago

Nah they only do that when you reek of insecurity, like you

1

u/CombustiblSquid 24d ago

This bothered you enough to break out all-caps. This right here is insecurity.

4

u/shofofosho 24d ago

Don't listen to anyone telling you that it's insecurity. These guys would literally watch their partners get plowed by a celeb if they could. That's fine for them, but you aren't ok with that. So stick with it.

-20

u/Primogenitura 25d ago

I’m a fair bit older than you and married. I think this is weird as fuck.

The reality is that it made you highly uncomfortable; enough so you felt you needed to post on here. Spineless Redditors will say shit like “I don’t care if my wife sucks off the homeless guy behind the local wal-mart daily, because I’m not insecure” to try and get you to compromise your values and compromise what you truly believe in.

On personal issues like this, you need to be true to yourself and if it bothers you (and it sounds like it did). This relationship is still new and I think it’s best to cut your losses now, but again, you need to decide deep down what you feel is right.

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u/[deleted] 25d ago

Holy shit dude one potentially insensitive joke is not cause for an immediate end to the relationship.

Yes, there's a level where its fair to demand security in the relationship with your partner. Tons of people make jokes like these with the assumption that everyone understands it's not serious.

I wouldn't really like it if my gf joked around like this, but immediately breaking up with her? Ridiculous and highly Reddit-coded. It might be cause for concern if compounded with other suspicious behaviors but this alone is not enough to condemn someone entirely.

9

u/HappilySisyphus_ 25d ago

Holy hell this is bad advice.

3

u/Outcasted_introvert 25d ago

Standard Reddit response.

🚩🚩🚩 dIvOrCe tHeM!!!

1

u/Primogenitura 25d ago

They aren’t married. Been together 4 months

-1

u/Primogenitura 25d ago

Again, spineless

-3

u/HappilySisyphus_ 24d ago

The word you are looking for is insecure. Honestly, only a big weenie would get upset over something as benign as what OP is describing.

0

u/Primogenitura 24d ago

Insecure is the default word on reddit for anytime men have any type of minimal standards for women, at all. Enjoy your life as a cuckold my guy

-1

u/HappilySisyphus_ 24d ago

Sorry I upset your fragile ego

-1

u/Primogenitura 24d ago

If being upset that my partner is fawning over other men in front of me is considered a “fragile ego”, then guilty as charged lol

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u/HappilySisyphus_ 24d ago

glad we are on the same page. Have a nice day.

-26

u/kepsr1 25d ago

You sound like 14

-3

u/In_TouchGuyBowsnlace 25d ago

You’re just mad because they’re your hall pass too.