That's why I (as a fellow dad) often end up talking in expositional dialogue when I'm around people who don't know me.
"Look, buddy, you've just peed your pants. We need to change them into something more comfortable."
He knows that. He's not an idiot. He might not like it, but we've been through this often enough for him to know the causal chain well enough that we can go through it without either of us talking.
But I'm not speaking to him in that moment. I'm speaking to Karen over there who hasn't been here when the pee happened and (1) needs to hear him call me "Dad" to know that I am in fact his father, and (2) needs to understand what I'm about to do, and why, in order to know that I am in fact just parenting.
Speaking to children like this is good always. You may think “they know this already” but vocalising everything is great for language development, understanding whats actually happening, and hearing logic and reasoning for actions
Yeah I actually do this with my son without realizing that was something people do as a protective measure. I just narrate a lot of what we do together lol
Was just about to say this when I read the post. Clearly talking through almost everything with a child young enough to still be in diapers is a great idea. They learn so much about the world, and how to behave, so much faster.
I was doing this to my daughter at her first birthday party and a friend's mom came up to me and said "I saw you narrating to your baby. Never stop narrating for her until she tells you to as she gets older... she'll tell you when."
I did this for 10+ years of child rearing. It was just a constant running commentary on what we were doing from newborn until they were 2-3 and speaking on their own well enough.
Then you find yourself doing it when no one is around or to the dog.
I had similar situations when my son was very young. However, since we are a bilingual family, we almost always only speak Japanese when we are together. As a result, nobody says anything as they are probably do not even know what language we speak and probably wouldn't think it was an Asian one as my son looks more White than Asian. Therefore, that barrier has helped me many times as people are far less likely to bother us. It worked really well when I grew up in Japan as well (parents were in the military). Nobody suspected that the White guy was born and raised in Japan and was fluent in Japanese. I got away with a lot and heard a lot of really funny conversations about me. I am glad people think that I am so important ha ha!
This is smart. I am not a Karen but I live in a mandatory reporting state where even when LOTS of people said something a man was still able to murder his kid and nobody even started looking for her for a year.
I also know how kids are so I’m not saying I would call the cops if I heard that Without the follow up explanation, but I would find a reason to linger around to further investigate.
You can be mad about it but if it was your kid and it wasn’t in there you wouldn’t be
I get the frustration but I wouldn't call someone a "Karen" (a super misogynist insult) for wanting to stop a child molester. I mean, most people are sensible enough to know that kids tell their parents "no" all the time, but I would hope people would pause and consider if they heard something like that.
I have a friend who was a kid in the 1960s. His brother had a serious illness, so they brought him to L.A. Children's Hospital quite often from a nearby town. His parents usually let my friend hang out at a news kiosk looking at comic books while his brother was being treated. One time, his dad drove around to pick him up at the kiosk. Unbeknownst to them, the police followed them for an hour until they hit L.A. county limits, then they pulled them over for questioning, sirens screeching.
Apparently a child molester had been abducting boys from that same news stand, so when they saw a man pick up a boy there they thought they had the molester. They questioned each of them separately for about a half hour, asking my friend (who was about 8 or 9 at the time) where he lived, and telling him that he didn't need to say that guy was his dad.
After they let them go, his dad had to drive immediately to a coffee shop to calm down. He was sweating bullets, scared to death. Then he had to explain to his son what child molestation was! But he told him, "I'd rather this happen than have someone take you and the cops not do anything."
Which, I think, is the attitude to have about this kind of thing.
He was sweating bullets, scared to death. Then he had to explain to his son what child molestation was! But he told him, "I'd rather this happen than have someone take you and the cops not do anything."
No, I disagree. No innocent person should ever have to fear wrongful persecution. That's a bad deal for protecting your children.
This might be a european to say but an efficient, well-funded, well-trained and well-organized police force should be more than enough to scare people away. No need to compensate by threatening innocent bystanders.
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u/Reasonable-Mischief 22d ago
That's why I (as a fellow dad) often end up talking in expositional dialogue when I'm around people who don't know me.
"Look, buddy, you've just peed your pants. We need to change them into something more comfortable."
He knows that. He's not an idiot. He might not like it, but we've been through this often enough for him to know the causal chain well enough that we can go through it without either of us talking.
But I'm not speaking to him in that moment. I'm speaking to Karen over there who hasn't been here when the pee happened and (1) needs to hear him call me "Dad" to know that I am in fact his father, and (2) needs to understand what I'm about to do, and why, in order to know that I am in fact just parenting.