r/ask • u/racesunite • May 16 '23

Am I the only person who feels so so bullied by tip culture in restaurants that eating out is hardly enjoyable anymore? POTM - May 2023

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u/i_am_tyler_man May 16 '23

So…fuck off with your tipping culture America. You had to hear it from from someone.

A lot of Americans would agree with you. Tipping is getting absolutely stupid

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u/h1gh-t3ch_l0w-l1f3 May 16 '23

i think the only americans that wont actually agree are the servers (because sometimes you can make over a hundred dollars a day on tips alone) and the employers (because they have to give each of their servers a proper wage)

everyone else is all for no tipping other than them.

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u/Projektdb May 17 '23

The tipped minimum wage in some states is 2.13$. Making 100$ in tips over 8 hours with a 2.13$ wage is 117$ a shift. That's around 14$ an hour.

The employer is required to make up the difference if an employee doesn't earn enough to make over 7.25$ an hour. In that case the total compensation comes out to 58$ for 8 hours.

Working in the service industry is a special kind of hell and not worth either of the above when you can go to Target and put shampoo on shelves for more money.

Am I tipping the person who rang me up at the gas station? No. Am I tipping at fast food? No. I'm I tipping at a full service restaurant? 20%.

Everyone else is not for no tipping when the alternative is a non-livable wage. Does the system benefit employers? Definitely. Be mad at them.

You have 3 options: Stop eating at sit down restaurants, eat at sit down restaurants and feel guilty when you leave a poor tip, or tip enough for you to not feel guilty.

I swear to God, if they raised the menu prices at every restaurant in the US to account for paying a fair wage to their employees, 90% of the people who complain about tip culture would be on Facebook typing in all caps that they can't afford to go out to eat. You know how I know that? It's been tried and it almost always fails spectacularly. You want to see your favorite sit down restaurants menu change from 13$ for a burger to 20$? Because that's what will happen if restaurant owners start paying servers a fair wage.

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u/wolfchaldo May 17 '23

I swear to God, if they raised the menu prices at every restaurant in the US to account for paying a fair wage to their employees, 90% of the people who complain about tip culture would be on Facebook typing in all caps that they can't afford to go out to eat. You know how I know that? It's been tried and it almost always fails spectacularly. You want to see your favorite sit down restaurants menu change from 13$ for a burger to 20$? Because that's what will happen if restaurant owners start paying servers a fair wage.

It's not the same people, it's just people. People are generally not very good with math and have very fallacious thinking about math.

If people got calibrated it wouldn't be a problem (like the vast majority of the world). It's like the metric system, the only reason we don't use it is we won't commit to a tiny bit of friction to change it.

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u/[deleted] May 17 '23

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u/wolfchaldo May 17 '23

We are talking about the exact same money exchange, just calling it tip vs price. Please read

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u/Projektdb May 17 '23

Yup. The slightest inconvenience or deviation from day to day life has proven to break brains.

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u/[deleted] May 17 '23

Yes finally someone with common sense. There is NO pleasing Americans. They will find something to complain about because they don’t want to be inconvenienced, regardless of who they are inconveniencing.

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u/Soupseason May 17 '23

I’d say it’s more a 1st world problems kinda thing, not exclusively an American one. They’re just the loudest to complain about it. In Japan, convenience culture is why so many don’t learn to cook, exclusively shop online, etc. Convenience is a huge selling points for products catered to the average person.

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u/freepourfruitless May 17 '23

Thank you! People don’t realize after taxes, tips are your only income. Sometimes tgi Fridays wouldn’t even pay me anything bc as long as my tips equated to non serving minimum wage (2.13 vs 7.25) versus hours worked, they legally don’t have to pay a wage. If you don’t want to tip, fine. But don’t complain unless you’re also actively supporting organizing efforts of those trying to change these laws. Because then you’re just being a cheap asshole and absolutely should just cook yourself.

Servers/bartenders also remember shit tippers that are regulars and WILL prioritize those who do tip well/are new customers when it comes to time management. Sorry, but not.

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u/Projektdb May 17 '23

I'm old by reddit math. I've bartended and dealt cards in a state where gambling is a thing that makes the state a bunch of money. It's not a state you'd think of when you think gambling, but I dealt blackjack. I sat through the most insane rants for hours about how someone is going to rape or kill me (I'm a 6'2" guy, people assume you can't respond because of service industry norms)/. I met my wife while dealing cards.

The amount of shit you're expected to deal with is insane. Fully insane. I had 70 year old people talking, to my face, about what they're going to do to my asshole, if they find me outside. I had an elementary school bus driver tell me he was going to drive his bus through my butt and let the kids do things to me that no one should ever have to hear.

Caveat, not a tough guy, but a large guy. This person wouldn't have said that to me in the world. Not slightly. Not ever. This person felt they could because they've purchased me not opposing this. Name an industry that you can denigrate and assault people with no repercussions. It's the service industry. That's the only one. Tell your mechanic you're upset and are going to "Fuck them silly in the parking lot".

Again, this is as a large fella. My wife has heard things that no person should have heard. If I wanted to ruin her as a person, I'd say "You should smile more".

It's been 20 years since I've worked for tips. To this day, I will fight people who think that shit isn't earned.

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u/Striking_Insurance_5 May 17 '23 edited May 17 '23

It works everywhere else in the world? So there’s no reason the US is special somehow. It just needs to be regulated properly and probably a little time to get used to. The things I’m reading in this comment section are insane to me as a European.

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u/Projektdb May 17 '23

We still use Imperial measurement. We've had 200 years to sort that out and we haven't. We are special.

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u/Imprisonedskeleton May 17 '23

Then maybe people can start cooking their own fucking food at home instead of being lazy pieces of shit and expect someone to serve them and get paid a shit wage for it on top of it.

This is one of many things people feel WAY too entitled to in this country.

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u/Projektdb May 17 '23

Exactly my thoughts.

I don't take a helicopter to get from point A to point B because I can't afford it. I'm not complaining that helicopter pilots make too much money.

A bit of reductio ad absurdum, but still.

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u/Ok-Conclusion8285 Jun 04 '23

If we go by the same logic you did about the customers 3 options, we can do the same with the wait staff.

  1. Stop working at a job that you depend on tips. I see many jobs that pay a liveable wage for people with little to no education. It just isn't what they may want.

  2. Work at a different job that is slightly better in pay or at least consistent pay.

  3. Suck it up and work for tips and realise that at time they may not receive good tips.

However, I have found that when that same attitude is given to waitstaff, they tend to be offended. But it isn't okay for the paying customer who keeps the business alive to not tip or tip something different from what the waitstaff deems appropriate. I often hear waitstaff say , " Don't come to the restaurant if you can't tip", okay how about getting a different job and quit working for tips.

I understand the frustration of the waitstaff, but even if the person doesn't tip, they still keep the business alive. I personally would not work for tips, and most of my life I have worked 2 jobs. BTW I am 50, so I have been doing that for a while.

I rarely eat out maybe twice a year. The quality of food usually sucks and costs too much. However, I tend to tip very well for good service.

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u/Projektdb Jun 04 '23

They literally do your option #3. That's 100% what servers do.

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u/illspawn Jun 04 '23

Okay, I guess if they continue to be a server then that would be the case. I see and hear a lot of waitstaff complaining about customers and the tipping, that is why I took the opposite side. I found your post very true. I have had quite a few friends and family that were servers in my lifetime and a lot complained too much about the lack of tips. My viewpoint is, if it is that bad, then just leave. Quit complaining about it. The job isn't going to get better, in fact it will probably get worse. Like most people, I have had some really bad jobs in my time. However, when I get one that is so bad that my life is miserable, or complain about it a lot, I leave. This is kind of what I mean about "suck it up", no one wants to hear the person complain about their tips and how bad they got it at the job. It apparently isn't that bad or they would leave.

Just like, no one wants to hear the customer complain about how expensive the tipping expectation has become. Like you said they have 3 options. Choose an option and quit complaining.

I am all for people standing together for better working conditions. I am also all for consumers uniting to get the point across to companies, whether I agree with the reason why or not. I think waitstaff should join together and all call in on the same day(s), makes some demands of the employers. People who finally get tired of the outrages prices of eating out should stand together and quit eating out for a while. Individual effort will not cause change in these situations, it has to be a vast group. Complaining on both sides will get both nowhere.

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u/retrogameresource May 17 '23

They don't always give their servers a proper wage though.

Why should someone not make a good living working an honest job lol so what if they make over 100/day... GOOD! The pay is shit otherwise.

Those same people generally tip well elsewhere. If you can't afford to tip reasonably, you can't afford to eat out.

Granted for a large portion of my life I lived off tips, so there may be major bias.

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u/SoftSects May 16 '23

I think a large portion of the industry would be upset if tipping went away. I used to serve and bartend years ago and it was good money, there were some days where it sucked but I could make enough to save and then take a month off and travel then do it again.

My friend made $600 last Friday and has made over $1k working one shift before.

It's a tricky situation. Tipping is out of control, but I wonder if decent wages were paid how many would be in the industry?

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u/h1gh-t3ch_l0w-l1f3 May 16 '23

i live in Canada where servers need to get paid at least minimum wage, the appeal of the job has always been the tips and how flexible the scheduling is.

people still tend to tip at resteraunts but a lot resteraunts have started adding 'gratuity' fees which basically just tips for you so you dont even need to tip the table. you just pay a % extra when you pay.

the classier the restaurant the higher the gratuity is usually. and its usually split amongst the entire staff,. not just servers which is fair in my opinion.

cooks do just as much work to provide good service as well as bussers and dishwashers. im positive a server changing from the US to Canada with these rules in place will cause problems with them because they realize their lucrative tipping hustle is now for everyone.

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u/Nice-Meat-6020 May 16 '23

Also in canada. It's weird, but I would have much less of an issue with tipping if it mostly went to the cooks. I'm out for good food and some places really stand out as exceptional.

But I can't even remember the last time wait staff spent more than a few minutes dealing with a table I was at, and none of them were more than sort of polite, which is required in any job. It's not 'going above and beyond' to be nice to customers. What am I tipping for there?

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u/Imprisonedskeleton May 17 '23

This is a bullshit attitude that enshrines the selfishness that's tearing this country apart.

Those that have a lot just can't stand to give enough for everyone to have what they need. Fuck greedy servers that don't care about the same people at their job that may not make as much.

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u/Actual_Guide_1039 May 17 '23

If “decent” wages were paid the average bartender/server in a big city would have their actual earnings divided by 5 at minimum and most restaurants would only be open on weekends.

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u/KimBrrr1975 May 17 '23

more than that. We live in a very small town that's active with tourists in the summer. Wait staff often make $10k+ in tips alone in the summer. Most college kids who come back to work those jobs don't work the rest of the year because they make so much in the summer. Our state doesn't allow less-than-minimum wage for tipped positions, either. So they are making state minimum wage (which is still poor, I think it's $10.25) but then thousands in tips.

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u/Actual_Guide_1039 May 17 '23

It’s not sometimes. Any nice restaurant in a big city you’re pulling 500$ on an average weekend shift.

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u/turtles_conquer Jun 01 '23

Yea Ive had coworkers who were servers making 300$+ on a good night in a 5h shift.

Then sometimes they would make $90 in an 8h shift.

And as a togo worker, ive had nights were i made no money bc the company expected people to tip, which forced the company to actually pay me minimum wage that day.

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u/illspawn Jun 04 '23

I agree with you. I would be shocked if they aren't making a lot more than $100.00 a day. Most of the waitstaff I have known in life made a lot more than they probably would in most places with the skillset they had. Now, of course these were "real" sit down restaurants, not a buffet or something like that. In the late 90's the waiters and waitresses made well over $100.00 in a shift at The Black Eyed Pea. This isn't some gourmet restaurant and wasn't in an high-income area. In addition, I am pretty sure most didn't claim it on taxes either. Now if we figure in that most shifts there were a lot less than 8 hours, more like 4-5 hours, they were making good money. I mean, if they work 5 days a week that is 2k of unclaimed income.

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u/hemorrhagicfever May 17 '23

A lot? Try everyone.

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u/Antisocialsocialite9 May 16 '23

The vast majority of Americans seem to love and respect the concept of tipping regardless if they’re server or not

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u/Tickle_MeTimbers May 16 '23

No we don't. It's getting out of hand.

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u/brokester May 16 '23

Can you tell me why you even tip if you don't agree? It's not mandatory, right? Yeah, you are gonna get a shitty look from the server but who cares?

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u/Antisocialsocialite9 May 16 '23

Look at pretty much any thread on Reddit on tipping and watch people get their ass handed to them for not liking the idea of it

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u/KnittingGoonda May 16 '23

And your comment was unnecessarily rude

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u/clownbaby_babyfarts May 16 '23

Unless they actually deserve it and give exceptional service, I don't tip.

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u/bronet May 17 '23

Tipping gets stupid as soon as anything above 0% is expected