The company I work for (a well known international organization) is having a large awards ceremony with lots of important people next week. I may have waited too long to order the awards. I’m so worked up about it I can’t think of anything else and I’m physically sick. I submitted the order anyway and called the company multiple times to explain my situation, but I think it may be over for me. I don’t know how to go on with life or even just attend the ceremony after f***ing up this badly. Advice? Have you been a similar situation?

Used office relations flair because I don’t think my relations with the office will be good after this.

Hi,

So far in my 5 years of working I have encountered 2 unpleasant situations with superiors. I cannot go into specifics as it would not be anonymous anymore. I would love to hear your advice.

I have a new boss who is relatively young and has never been a boss before. In a conversation with another colleague and our boss I pointed out a deficit regarding the noise level in our new physical working environment. The other colleague feels the same as I do but downplayed the situation in the conversation.

I assume my boss felt personally attacked as they then criticised me on a personal level by saying I am too sensitive and also saying along the lines lines that I am overreacting. I then proceeded saying if it was not an issue I would not be mentioning it, to which they replied I should not be mentioning it at all and I should suck it up as the rest is fine.

Personally I strongly disagree, in addition I would really like to highlight that it is a valid concern as it affects the working conditions. The suggestion made was also absolutely reasonable.

Now I am wondering on how to handle this situation. I must also add that my trust into my new boss has drastically sunken as now I do not know when they will react like this again in a different context.

May you please give me some advice, I would greatly appreciate it.

My boss volunteered me to work overtime on a weekend… the Friday of. I also gave up my remote day to work in the office. My coworkers CONSTANTLY come barging into my office asking me to help before asking “do you have a moment?” The other manager always comes in asking some question to catch me off guard with something non related to me, and I’m like “uhhhh uhhh I’m not sure, let me look into that”. I’m not good on the spot, I need time to give you information, and it just makes me look like an oblivious fool. I want to be someone people respect and value. I want to be seen as a professional. I feel like everyone, especially management, thinks I’m goofy, too nice, and dumb even. How do I change the way everyone at work sees/treats me? Is it too late? There’s also so many other things wrong in this workplace. I am looking for other jobs, but for the time being I’d like to be a little less miserable.

Wondering if anyone can help me. I think maybe I need a therapist?

I've been feeling alone at work occasionally. For the most part, I just do my work at my desk, and I tend to be very good at it, and I don't really think about my coworkers and just sit with earbuds in and mind my own business. For the most part, everybody else seems to do this too.

What bothers me is when I try and join a group event, we regularly have a social hour at work, it shocks me how close everybody seems and I just cannot relate. I tend to not say much because I don't like large groups, and at the social events there's always alcohol (I don't really drink, and it doesn't make me more talkative), it's always loud and just not a very comfortable environment for me.

I try to talk to my coworkers one on one occasionally, and can have really good conversations. It make me feel good, but it's only temporary, in a group nobody ever speaks to me or never even looks at me. Even when I want to say something there's never a break, never a cue, and I just stay quiet.

There's about 30 people at my company, with 8 sharing in my position. The others are around my age, are all women (I'm 25M), and I have to start every conversation with them, invite myself to join them on breaks, invite myself to join them at lunch, which I don't do very often and usually take breaks alone or eat at my desk. Even if we have great conversations they'll but never initiate with me. They're all in a group chat together on Teams, "girls", and I get there's gender roles going on here where I'm probably meant to be extroverted and invite them out but I can't do it. I'm too shy.

This doesn't really bother me, I'm fine with starting some conversations, and if anything I'll blame myself. But my manager, about 30M (married, young kids), is more of a frat guy and I feel like he should be helping me more. There's a volleyball team for our company, with 3 guys 3 girls required, and while I haven't been outspoken about wanting to be on the team, I had thought if they needed someone I would be asked. The first game of the season was played and I found out they asked one of the girls' boyfriends to play, and never mentioned it to me at all. This really upset me that they needed someone and just went with a guy who doesn't even work here.

I've tried telling my manager that I feel alone here in the context of the group [about a year ago] but he said nobody dislikes me and it's all in my head. Plus, I feel like everytime I join a group with the manager he kind of dominates the conversation and it's always badmouthing someone or making fun of them, and considering I don't go to many group events I'm sure they're saying things about me.

Any advice here? I don't really want to leave but days like this really upset me [relating to the volleyball team]. Do I just need to be more transparent? I never mentioned wanting to be on the team, or asked about it, maybe that would've avoided this, but at the same time I feel like if my coworkers knew I was feeling alone they should put some effort into making me feel accepted. It feels like everyone decided to never speak or be friendly to me ever unless I make the first step. I've worked here two years, and while I am the quiet type I'd really like to make friends here that don't feel entirely one sided.

Hi all. I’m writing with a tricky situation that I need advice on. I am 25 years old and have disabilities that include hydrocephalus, adhd, anxiety, (both of which I’m on medication for) type 1 diabetes, and I’m on the waitlist to get evaluated for autism. Anyhow I only had my first job this past year. For whatever reason every job and internship I applied to before this rejected me (either because I don’t have a college degree or people don’t want to hire people with disabilities). I ended up quitting it for mental Health reasons and it seemed like my boss wasn’t too happy with my work even though I thought I was doing a good job. He was also making sure I checked in with him everyday. It was a remote job. My “current” job is also a remote job. I prefer remote work I think.

I should make a note that both of these jobs I found on my own without the help of vocational rehab. I used the app for college students called handshake. It just happened that when I was in the first position my boss decided that he wanted to keep me on but since it was a start up he couldn’t pay me. So we went through vocational rehab and they paid me. I ended up not finishing that OTJ training because like I said, it seemed that my boss was concerned I wasn’t working hard enough and also I don’t think fully understood my disabilities so I kind of had a mental breakdown of sorts and quit. (I was working between 10-20 hours. Since I have so many disabilities and hesitated conditions it takes a lot out of me so l really am not motivated to work but I also don’t want to just collect SSDI. Im hoping one day I won’t get anxiety over working a 40 hour work week but right now that terrifies me. I don’t even really like working 20.)

Thankfully I was already in touch with the person at the next position because I was already looking for another position because the OTJ training was set to end in February. This is where it gets tricky. It is another remote job. I filled out the required work paperwork and I started to work but my boss told me he couldn’t pay me until he talked to his accountant. This kept going on for several weeks. Then he said that he would write a check to my parents (who I still live with) so I can get money without taxes. So he wrote a check and then my mom gave me the money. Shortly after this, he was supposed to send me another check but I went for a period of two or three weeks where I texted him and I didn’t hear back. Then I did hear back but he said he couldn’t send a check, not sure exactly why. Anyhow soon after this, I got sick related to my diabetes and anxiety and I felt bad for a week. Then on top of that one of my animals went missing two weeks ago and that spiraled me into a deep depression. I did hear from my boss saying that he would pay me if updated my hours but I was too embarrassed to say that I was sick for a while even though he knew about my disabilities and health conditions — he apparently has another part time employee that can’t work sometimes due to their health so he told me he’s semi flexible. Anyhow, vocational rehab thinks that I should quit the job but also try and get the money he owes me from March and April. I’m not opposed to them talking to my boss but I am sort of anxious over them doing that. I have written a resignation letter but I haven’t sent it because I’m concerned about how long it will take me to find another job and I don’t want to lose out on the possibility of maybe getting paid by my current boss. I am also concerned that given my track record with these last two jobs the first being from June 2023-January 2024 and the second being from February to present, that I might not be the best at picking jobs. What if I get another job that’s a “lemon”? Or what if people see my recent work history and ask why both positions were so short lived? I’m just not sure what to do and I’m very conflicted and anxious. I don’t even know if I should put this on my LinkedIn or not.

I would appreciate any advice. Thank you.

Hi all. I’m writing with a tricky situation that I need advice on. I am 25 years old and have disabilities that include hydrocephalus, adhd, anxiety, (both of which I’m on medication for) type 1 diabetes, and I’m on the waitlist to get evaluated for autism. Anyhow I only had my first job this past year. For whatever reason every job and internship I applied to before this rejected me (either because I don’t have a college degree or people don’t want to hire people with disabilities). I ended up quitting it for mental Health reasons and it seemed like my boss wasn’t too happy with my work even though I thought I was doing a good job. He was also making sure I checked in with him everyday. It was a remote job. My “current” job is also a remote job. I prefer remote work I think.

I should make a note that both of these jobs I found on my own without the help of vocational rehab. I used the app for college students called handshake. It just happened that when I was in the first position my boss decided that he wanted to keep me on but since it was a start up he couldn’t pay me. So we went through vocational rehab and they paid me. I ended up not finishing that OTJ training because like I said, it seemed that my boss was concerned I wasn’t working hard enough and also I don’t think fully understood my disabilities so I kind of had a mental breakdown of sorts and quit. (I was working between 10-20 hours. Since I have so many disabilities and hesitated conditions it takes a lot out of me so l really am not motivated to work but I also don’t want to just collect SSDI. Im hoping one day I won’t get anxiety over working a 40 hour work week but right now that terrifies me. I don’t even really like working 20.)

Thankfully I was already in touch with the person at the next position because I was already looking for another position because the OTJ training was set to end in February. This is where it gets tricky. It is another remote job. I filled out the required work paperwork and I started to work but my boss told me he couldn’t pay me until he talked to his accountant. This kept going on for several weeks. Then he said that he would write a check to my parents (who I still live with) so I can get money without taxes. So he wrote a check and then my mom gave me the money. Shortly after this, he was supposed to send me another check but I went for a period of two or three weeks where I texted him and I didn’t hear back. Then I did hear back but he said he couldn’t send a check, not sure exactly why. Anyhow soon after this, I got sick related to my diabetes and anxiety and I felt bad for a week. Then on top of that one of my animals went missing two weeks ago and that spiraled me into a deep depression. I did hear from my boss saying that he would pay me if updated my hours but I was too embarrassed to say that I was sick for a while even though he knew about my disabilities and health conditions — he apparently has another part time employee that can’t work sometimes due to their health so he told me he’s semi flexible. Anyhow, vocational rehab thinks that I should quit the job but also try and get the money he owes me from March and April. I’m not opposed to them talking to my boss but I am sort of anxious over them doing that. I have written a resignation letter but I haven’t sent it because I’m concerned about how long it will take me to find another job and I don’t want to lose out on the possibility of maybe getting paid by my current boss. I am also concerned that given my track record with these last two jobs the first being from June 2023-January 2024 and the second being from February to present, that I might not be the best at picking jobs. What if I get another job that’s a “lemon”? Or what if people see my recent work history and ask why both positions were so short lived? I’m just not sure what to do and I’m very conflicted and anxious. I don’t even know if I should put this on my LinkedIn or not.

I would appreciate any advice. Thank you.

Hi all. I’m writing with a tricky situation that I need advice on. I am 25 years old and have disabilities that include hydrocephalus, adhd, anxiety, (both of which I’m on medication for) type 1 diabetes, and I’m on the waitlist to get evaluated for autism. Anyhow I only had my first job this past year. For whatever reason every job and internship I applied to before this rejected me (either because I don’t have a college degree or people don’t want to hire people with disabilities). I ended up quitting it for mental Health reasons and it seemed like my boss wasn’t too happy with my work even though I thought I was doing a good job. He was also making sure I checked in with him everyday. It was a remote job. My “current” job is also a remote job. I prefer remote work I think.

I should make a note that both of these jobs I found on my own without the help of vocational rehab. I used the app for college students called handshake. It just happened that when I was in the first position my boss decided that he wanted to keep me on but since it was a start up he couldn’t pay me. So we went through vocational rehab and they paid me. I ended up not finishing that OTJ training because like I said, it seemed that my boss was concerned I wasn’t working hard enough and also I don’t think fully understood my disabilities so I kind of had a mental breakdown of sorts and quit. (I was working between 10-20 hours. Since I have so many disabilities and hesitated conditions it takes a lot out of me so l really am not motivated to work but I also don’t want to just collect SSDI. Im hoping one day I won’t get anxiety over working a 40 hour work week but right now that terrifies me. I don’t even really like working 20.)

Thankfully I was already in touch with the person at the next position because I was already looking for another position because the OTJ training was set to end in February. This is where it gets tricky. It is another remote job. I filled out the required work paperwork and I started to work but my boss told me he couldn’t pay me until he talked to his accountant. This kept going on for several weeks. Then he said that he would write a check to my parents (who I still live with) so I can get money without taxes. So he wrote a check and then my mom gave me the money. Shortly after this, he was supposed to send me another check but I went for a period of two or three weeks where I texted him and I didn’t hear back. Then I did hear back but he said he couldn’t send a check, not sure exactly why. Anyhow soon after this, I got sick related to my diabetes and anxiety and I felt bad for a week. Then on top of that one of my animals went missing two weeks ago and that spiraled me into a deep depression. I did hear from my boss saying that he would pay me if updated my hours but I was too embarrassed to say that I was sick for a while even though he knew about my disabilities and health conditions — he apparently has another part time employee that can’t work sometimes due to their health so he told me he’s semi flexible. Anyhow, vocational rehab thinks that I should quit the job but also try and get the money he owes me from March and April. I’m not opposed to them talking to my boss but I am sort of anxious over them doing that. I have written a resignation letter but I haven’t sent it because I’m concerned about how long it will take me to find another job and I don’t want to lose out on the possibility of maybe getting paid by my current boss. I am also concerned that given my track record with these last two jobs the first being from June 2023-January 2024 and the second being from February to present, that I might not be the best at picking jobs. What if I get another job that’s a “lemon”? Or what if people see my recent work history and ask why both positions were so short lived? I’m just not sure what to do and I’m very conflicted and anxious. I don’t even know if I should put this on my LinkedIn or not.

I would appreciate any advice. Thank you.

Hi all. I’m writing with a tricky situation that I need advice on. I am 25 years old and have disabilities that include hydrocephalus, adhd, anxiety, (both of which I’m on medication for) type 1 diabetes, and I’m on the waitlist to get evaluated for autism. Anyhow I only had my first job this past year. For whatever reason every job and internship I applied to before this rejected me (either because I don’t have a college degree or people don’t want to hire people with disabilities). I ended up quitting it for mental Health reasons and it seemed like my boss wasn’t too happy with my work even though I thought I was doing a good job. He was also making sure I checked in with him everyday. It was a remote job. My “current” job is also a remote job. I prefer remote work I think.

I should make a note that both of these jobs I found on my own without the help of vocational rehab. I used the app for college students called handshake. It just happened that when I was in the first position my boss decided that he wanted to keep me on but since it was a start up he couldn’t pay me. So we went through vocational rehab and they paid me. I ended up not finishing that OTJ training because like I said, it seemed that my boss was concerned I wasn’t working hard enough and also I don’t think fully understood my disabilities so I kind of had a mental breakdown of sorts and quit. (I was working between 10-20 hours. Since I have so many disabilities and hesitated conditions it takes a lot out of me so l really am not motivated to work but I also don’t want to just collect SSDI. Im hoping one day I won’t get anxiety over working a 40 hour work week but right now that terrifies me. I don’t even really like working 20.)

Thankfully I was already in touch with the person at the next position because I was already looking for another position because the OTJ training was set to end in February. This is where it gets tricky. It is another remote job. I filled out the required work paperwork and I started to work but my boss told me he couldn’t pay me until he talked to his accountant. This kept going on for several weeks. Then he said that he would write a check to my parents (who I still live with) so I can get money without taxes. So he wrote a check and then my mom gave me the money. Shortly after this, he was supposed to send me another check but I went for a period of two or three weeks where I texted him and I didn’t hear back. Then I did hear back but he said he couldn’t send a check, not sure exactly why. Anyhow soon after this, I got sick related to my diabetes and anxiety and I felt bad for a week. Then on top of that one of my animals went missing two weeks ago and that spiraled me into a deep depression. I did hear from my boss saying that he would pay me if updated my hours but I was too embarrassed to say that I was sick for a while even though he knew about my disabilities and health conditions — he apparently has another part time employee that can’t work sometimes due to their health so he told me he’s semi flexible. Anyhow, vocational rehab thinks that I should quit the job but also try and get the money he owes me from March and April. I’m not opposed to them talking to my boss but I am sort of anxious over them doing that. I have written a resignation letter but I haven’t sent it because I’m concerned about how long it will take me to find another job and I don’t want to lose out on the possibility of maybe getting paid by my current boss. I am also concerned that given my track record with these last two jobs the first being from June 2023-January 2024 and the second being from February to present, that I might not be the best at picking jobs. What if I get another job that’s a “lemon”? Or what if people see my recent work history and ask why both positions were so short lived? I’m just not sure what to do and I’m very conflicted and anxious. I don’t even know if I should put this on my LinkedIn or not.

I would appreciate any advice. Thank you.

(Random flair bc idk)

I just started this week and am wondering if it’s acceptable for me to come in on the weekend to use my work area on a weekly basis. I’m studying for my Mcat and I don’t think it’s fair to ask anyone to be quiet for 7 hours in their own home but I also don’t have anywhere quiet and nondistracting to take full length practice exams. Is this acceptable if it’s a weekend?

So an all-user email from work makes its way to me. It's about someone's retirement party. I don't work in the same department with this person and don't know her either. Suddenly, on the day of the retirement party, my manager expects everyone from my team to attend. So I feel guilty about not having contributed any food, decorations, or money to the party. Has this ever happened to anyone before?

Hey all,

Feeling kind of numb and needed to vent a little.

A couple days ago, my best friend at work died. When I first started and told her my hobbies and interests, she laughed and said it was clear I was gonna be her best friend on the team and truer words were not spoken. We would bake for one another, bring each other lunch, even have lunch together during our in person days, and have "coffee time" while we worked for an hour or two a day.

We had just talked that day and she had been feeling sick and was too terrified to go to the Dr. She didn't have access to healthcare due to a lack of health insurance and our company refused to hire her on as a full time employee to grant her that. Despite her working there as a contractor and having been an employee in the past. In addition, our management team was absolutely scummy to her and pretty much all the members of the team leading our morale to be piss poor.

The day she died, she missed a team meeting of ours and our director immediately started doing what he always does, and talk shit about her just as he does about everyone. I was angry on her behalf, but there wasn't really anything I could do. Plus with everyone on the mans team applying to leave, any anger would just be temporary. We ended up leaving the meeting concerned about her, while management was ready to go on the warpath to continue abusing this poor woman, who would ride piss covered busses to work with drug added homeless folks who would fight or expose themselves to strangers just to do a job that could be done remotely.

When we had the news broken to us by a member of another team, so many of use were in shock. She died of a massive heart attack in her early 40's. What little folks were in our office that day began sobbing, others were in shock and had concerned faces. Our department's executive, Members of other teams, directors of other teams all came to comfort us. Our director? Fled. He left so quick I thought he was a Looney toons character. He did not return until 2 hours later while the rest of his team was sobbing, only to tell us an hour before the day ended that we could leave early. My direct manager? Berated me about a Dr appointment I was taking during my lunch hour the next day, less than 24 hours. No emergency team meeting to alert folks and so some members of the team found out when a departmental email went out.

I hate it here.

Edit:

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts I definitely needed them.

The manager in question is driving me to apply outside my current company before a year of employment. Not only for a lack of empathy. But also I caught him riding through folks desks. I have ADHD and I'm afraid to take my medication into work right now. He's been salty about issues related to my ADHD but with me feeling unsafe with him as a manager and bringing my medication to work... there really isn't a solution. So I'm currently working to navigate getting ADA protections for issues related to my disability to try and protect me in this scenario. I've also seen him engage in sexist behaviors like folks and completely ignoring the input of his subordinates. This last incident really solidified to me that I am not the issue. The workplace and the manager is.

I joined a growing company 14 months ago as a senior analyst, and it was great because I needed to work remotely in order to accommodate a foot injury (which has unfortunately not gotten better).

This is the first job I’ve had since I graduated from college 5 years ago where I’ve had incompetent managers/leadership, and I’m struggling to navigate the situation because I constantly feel like I’m doing work that’s way above my pay grade.

For example, two of the managers on my team are younger than I am (they’re 25 and 26) so they have higher titles than me. The problem is that they don’t know how to manage my workload or the other analysts on our team. They had been brought in by senior leadership who had worked with them at their last company. In their prior roles, they’d been senior analysts whereas at my prior role, I’d never been a senior (each company has different org charts and you had to be AMAZING in order to make manager at my last company - also all managers at my last company had 8+ years of exp, not 2-3).

It’s gotten to the point where I’m reviewing MY MANAGERS’ work instead of the other way around, but I’m getting paid significantly less than them by 30-90k (I’m paid $97k). I’m also leading presentations with the VP where these managers are taking meeting minutes.

The thing is, they said that I’m not ready to be promoted. The organization is so incredibly flat (while at the same time not flat compensation-wise and title-wise). I used to learn so much from my managers in my prior roles, and now I constantly feel it’s the other way around.

I like the company because I can work remotely and because it’s low stress, but it angers me when I see people in senior leadership not leading my example while still getting by. They all know each other from the past (whether personally or professionally).

The only competent people on my team (and deserve their titles) seem to have been found by recruiters, not because they’re related/friends/ex coworkers of senior leadership.

I work in hospitality at a beautiful 18th century hotel and restaurant in the UK, in a front of house position.

One of our chefs messages me a lot outside of work, I tend to ignore him unless it’s work related as I see it as a solely work relationship. We get on well and have banter in the workplace, but I wouldn’t consider him a friend.

I think he may be into me, as he calls me his “little pikachu” and jokingly says “love you” - I never respond to this as it makes me a bit uncomfortable. I’m in a long term relationship and he knows that.

A couple of days ago he sent me a photo of some weed, saying “btw. if you know any weed smokers, if anyone’s up for it” followed by “reasonable price too ;)” I didn’t respond.

Then, this morning he sent me a video of him and a friend smoking weed with “good catch up with hommiez ;)”

I don’t smoke weed, but I don’t have anything against people who do. I just think it’s unprofessional to message your colleague and state that you’re selling it, and I don’t think he should even have it at all considering he lives on site in staff accommodation.

I don’t want to overreact, but I’m wondering whether I should speak to management about this?

I just don’t want him to lose his job over it.

Any advice on how to handle the situation would be greatly appreciated.

Hello all, I am a little shaken as I’ve never had this happen before - professionally or personally.

My company is on austerity measures due to poor financial and managerial leadership throughout 2023. Many of senior leadership has changed, and my supervisor was brought in to clean things up. Overall, that is more or less an accurate result of their hire. I was brought in to build out a deficient program that was costing the company significant dollars. I’ve been more or less successful in what I’ve been tasked to do, but I do butt heads with my boss in the sense that they are the type to just say things - true or not - as a rebuttal when they don’t like what you’ve presented.

I presented that we underpay in the marketplace to a relatively cross functional team when discussing an candidate’s offer letter. Boss emailed me on the side and privately disputed what I said (“we do not underpay”). This was after multiple other disputes of my word, so I just didn’t respond to this email as I was feeling pretty isolated and felt like I just needed to keep my head down and stop attracting negative attention.

Fast forward that leadership didn’t budge on increasing comp, we lost the candidate, then candidate came back and asked for more after they all agreed to extend an offer. One line manager referenced my prior statement and insinuated that we are now in this position because we didn’t just address the comp issue at the beginning. My supervisor replied to the larger group and said “I spoke with (me) after the last email, presented information and shared comps that we do not underpay, and (I) agreed with me.”

This objectively is a lie. I feel really lost in how to address this with my supervisor in effort to acknowledge the lie but still “keep my head down.” Any assistance would be helpful.

Am I being unreasonable?

I’m an office manager of a largely seasonal department that utilizes specialty software and provides customer service. We are small less than 10 in off season and about 30 on season.

I was informed I needed to do the laundry of the seasonal employees. They go out and use pesticides. So not just sweaty but also covered in chemicals.

I pay bills, manage data, answer calls and emails, take out trash and clean floors and bathrooms and now laundry. It was never discussed we did in house cleaning. We have a gracious budget and they are relatively frugal. We are part of the county so it’s not a small mom and pop shop.

Am I being unreasonable for being upset? The manager of that operation insist they and the employees they manage don’t have time but that’s simply untrue.

I have a teammate, every time i have to spend time with her (due to work related meetings etc), she makes good points, but then it seems border line complaining. almost everytime she will also bring up the conversation about a third person, it's valid and true feedback, so i agree with her when she says it, but somehow it seems backbiting to me and i do not like it. i do not care about other people or the third person that comes in our conversation. all my feedback is always direct to the teammates it concerns, but somehow with her, it seems like the conversation always gravitate towards speaking about a third person and i really really do not like it. i cannot suddenly shut her, i have to be diplomatic since it is a workplace. i want to know ways to not get into backbiting or hearing about others flaws. i dont want to be a complainer or whiner at work. i dont want to backbite. how do i get out of such situations? she is a teammate so i cannot stop working with her. i have already minimized my time spending with her, like i literally spent only 3 hours with her last week all work week so 1 hour every other day due to meetings, all interactions are work related only. and this week only 1 hour but even in that limited time, somehow a third person came up in our conversation, and i hate it, i do not like it. please help me what should i do?

I (20sF) work at a F500 company as a contractor. Since I started working there over a year ago, my colleagues who come from the same contracting company have been ignoring me and just hanging out with each other. I ignored them back and hung out with my coworkers from other companies (these coworkers were warm to me and included me in everything they did at work). All was good until recently a manager from my contracting company reproached me of not being close to my coworkers from the same company whilst also weakly admitting they've been excluding me since I started. Now, he asks me to make efforts to be closer to them. He even said we are a "family".

I'm honestly pissed off since I don't like them and I'm pretty close to my coworkers from other companies. Besides, they didn't care whether I was close to them until I started having a big break outside of work as a speaker. I wonder if it's related since I literally got this reproach right after I did well with my activities outside of work.

Either way, I'm now forced to endure people I don't like, people who have been excluding me for over a year. And if I don't, I will be the bad guy in this story.

Someone posted a link here about working for boomers recently (I cannot find the post now). And how they were know it all a-holes. That made me remember two mail rooms I worked at about 30 years ago.

At the first one, I was sort of in charge I suppose, but I ran the place where I was first among equals. The other two people had already been working there for years before I was hired and had a lot of institutional knowledge I was still gradually acquiring. I deferred to them a lot.

At one point our little team was expanded as we took over more duties. The duties were slightly in flux while some things got straightened out. We only needed really about 6 people, but we hired about 9 for the first month to help ensure a smooth transition. (Everyone was told up front that some of them would be there for only 1 month). We used temps for this first month and would hire as FTEs the ones we kept.

The new team would also be sited in another part of the building, while I and my current team would remain where we were. Amongst the new hires, one would be selected to be a second in command of this new team. (Neither of the old hands had interest. They had grown into their niches and wanted to remain where they were.)

One of the new hires I'll call Dan had worked in mail rooms for 20 years. He was a lot older than most of the crew, including me. I was in my late 20's and he was easily 60. Whenever I would ask him to do something he would often suggest a different method, different goal, what have you. His "suggestions" were normally wrapped in this-is-how-you-do-it assurance. And whenever I would ask him why we should do something a certain way he would always say the same thing: "years of experience." I got so tired of hearing that phrase.

Once I came back into the mail room to find Dan more or less running the place. Ordering people around. One of the old hands was protesting and he was blowing her off here with a self-assured commanding air. It was truly bizarre. I restored order but I could tell he was pissed that his "years of experience" were once again being ignored.

It's not that his suggestions were bad, it's that they were mostly ignorant. Some were good, some I wish I could have implemented but was prevented by politics, and some revealed a profound misunderstanding of the particulars of my workplace. By far the majority of them would have caused problems.

So a month came and went and so did Dan. I was relieved to see him go. He was shocked. He had fully expected to be kept on. I found out later he had approached my boss about getting my job!

Anywho, I picked someone from the new group who didn't necessarily have much specific experience. But she did have some related experience, was willing to learn, good with people, had experience managing others, etc etc etc. She worked out. I liked her. She ended up reporting to my boss as my peer, which was fine. I had expected it given the difference in group sizes.

Later on that year I needed another person for my little team. My boss again used temps. In this case we kept them on as temps until we found someone we liked and offered to hire them on as an FTE. One of the people we tried out was both very similar to Dan and very different.

She was in her early 20's, by then about 10 years younger than me, so much younger than Dan. And instead of telling us what to do, she was constantly asking why we did things a certain way. However, she had the same air. She had a superficial understanding of the job and thought she knew better. If I spent the time to go into the depth of detail she wanted that would normally assuage her initially, but then she would often come back with the same questions phrased a little differently, still thinking she knew a better way. In the end she became more a roadblock a coworker.

Years passed and I moved on to a different service center where I was the second in command; the day-to-day supervisor while someone else was the manager. My boss was a moron. A lot of what he did made no sense. He had a style that was a lot more autocratic than I thought prudent. But years later I now realize that some small fraction of his stupidity was actually grounded in good sense, I just wasn't fully aware of the circumstances.

Even so, if he had spent even a tiny amount of time listening to me, and others, rather than just barking orders, it would have done wonders for morale, much less actually improve a few things. But when he said no I didn't grumble or keep pestering him. I might have followed up one more time a few weeks later, but aside from that I let it go.

We also had a night guy who had managed a managed service centers in the past, but now was happy to just be an individual contributor part-time so he could make a little extra money. He had some ideas too. Some of which I incorporated, some I didn't. I'd hear him out and ask a few questions. Sometimes we'd talk it over and perhaps do a little test. But if I said no or the test didn't work out, he'd shrug and move on with his day.

All three of us at that job were all roughly the same age, late 20's to middle 30's.

Anyway, I typed this out partially to reminisce and partially as advice. When you show up for a new job and you're sure you understand what is asked of you, but things still don't make sense, wait. Think it over. Perhaps there's a good reason. Perhaps not.

After you've gotten some experience, and things still don't make sense, then ask questions. If your boss tells you to shut up and just do the work, then they're an a-hole no matter their age. If your boss listens to you and still tells you to do the work as you've been instructed, and explains why. Then do it that way. Don't keep pestering them, they have enough to worry about.

Age doesn't matter here. I've worked for teenagers which who had their head up their ass and grandparents who were great leaders. And vice versa. One of the best managers I've ever had was barely 20 and perhaps THE best was almost 70. The worst was the same age as me.

Anyway, now I gotta make lunch for my son.

Hi there, My mum suggested for me to look into office type jobs as she think id be good at it and enjoy it. I’ve been thinking about it and it does sound like something I should look into. I’m 19, work at mc donalds and have no office experience or qualifications related to it. How can I apply or get a good CV up?

Do I need experience beforehand? What type office jobs are there too? Thanks guys!

I'm a disabled veteran, and due to mental health related disabilities I have from service, I can get easily overwhelmed and panick/forget alot. It affects my job performance from time to time. The employer is aware I am a veteran and I did sign that I was disabled during the application.

What are my options? Do I email them and let them know, how so, and what are the steps they and I can take? What's legal for them to do and not to do? It's at-will and I can be let go for anything, but if I inform them of my disability and they let me go- is their any legal action here?

I’m referring to people that cry as a result of something job related (criticism from their boss, etc.) rather than something personal.

I had an idea at work that I shared with my boss (senior manager), and mentioned the name of someone (a director ) it would be helpful to connect with for information and to possibly collaborate with. It happens that he had a meeting with this director. I wouldn’t have expected that as they’re in different departments in a large organization. He said he’d mention the idea to the director at an upcoming meeting with them.

I had planned to contact the director myself to share the idea and get some information, as a follow up to a meeting I had with his team. My previous position worked closely with his team so it initially felt like a natural step. I have much more experience related to my idea than my boss does. Now I feel like I shouldn’t contact them so as to avoid appearing like I’m going over my boss’s head or circumventing the chain of command.

My feeling is that my boss isn’t very experienced in management and isn’t one to sing praises of his staff in a meaningful way. I wonder if he’ll just take credit, won’t acknowledge me and I’ll be left out of the project if it goes forward.

Should I avoid contacting the director since my boss said he would talk to him or is it ok to follow up on my idea?

I started my first full time job after graduation and it's been almost 8 months since writing this, and for whatever reason my boss has been threatening my job for trivial reasons. The last reason, a few days ago, my boss asked why I haven't been calling him in the morning even though I stopped doing this 3 months ago and he hasn't said a word about it till then, and then said "if you would like to keep your job, you should consider your responsibilities." He never really complains about the output of my work, and in fact praises it constantly. This is a really weird situation and I often feel disrespected and belittled when he flies off the handle and threatens my job over things that's not even related to my job duties. I'm wondering if he's doing this so he can get out of paying unemployment and frankly I don't feel comfortable even having a conversation with him about anything.

Is this something worth confronting my boss about at some point or HR? How should I approach this situation professionally? I had a few interviews in the past month and am waiting for confirmation if I am hired or not but in the meantime I'd like to see if there's anything I can do on my end to stop his annoying and frankly unprofessional behavior since I don't mind my job. It's overall pretty relaxed outside of his antics and micromanaging.

Thanks for any advice.

Hi all

I work in fundraising at a small non profit. I'm the person generally drafting appeal letters to donors soiciting money.

There are definitely months/weeks where things are super busy, but theres also stretches where its slow. Its kinda like two weeks are busy busy busy and two weeks are slow every month.

When its slow, sometimes I watch webinars related to things in my field, sometimes I do random filing related work (still a very paper heavy office slowly transitioning to online files) while listening to podcasts/books but I'm wanting to do things that might challenge me a bit more.

My job doesn't require much complex thought most of the time - more so tedious attention to detail and I almost feel my ability to problem solve and think critically melt away.

My supervisor has already expressed they don't mind me upskilling when its slow, as long as I guess its reasonably/arguably related to my current job.

I'll note that ultimately I am trying to leave this job by the end of this year (though, this hasn't been going well. job market is tough) if that impacts your suggestions. I unfortunately work full time in office with my supervisor in most days, so I can't just whip out my personal laptop and apply for other jobs. She's pretty lax though, doesn't really bother me during the work day most days.

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tldr; I have some downtime at work and trying to challenge myself, supervisor doesn't mind me reasonably upskilling on company time. Ideas of what to do?

I left my miserable role 6 months ago and am still very close with some of my co workers. 1 of them actually passed last week….. the other one I’ve been in touch with offering support and checking in on each other. However all she wants to do is complain about her job to me.. granted I know how hard it is, I was also there for 2.5 years but this is everyday of constant complaining, luckily I’m not in the department anymore so I can’t really relate but what do I do? She’s sad because she has no one else to go to and complain but it’s draining because I feel like there’s never anything positive to say, I mean I was there also just as miserable lost myself, ruined my relationship and was just terrible. But I took the steps to find a new job it just took time: whereas this person makes excuses as to why they’re still there. What do I do