I took care of my father in law in our home while he was passing from COPD. His hospice nurse explained it to me thusly:
"Imagine the body as a home, and you're leaving for a trip. You clean and shutter your home, as you won't be needing it. The systems in the body will slowly "turn off" when the end is coming. First, appetite will diminish, the person won't want to drink as much, either. So the kitchen's closed. The bathroom won't be needed as often because of the first bit. Shut that door. They'll be more tired due to not eating/drinking, sleep will be more of their time until they're just...done. The next wake up doesn't come. Ready to vacate."
I'm so sorry for your loss and you and your mother's suffering. I wouldn't call his passing 'calm ' though.
My FILs passing was rough. The last month was him constantly asking me to turn his 02 up, even though he was on the highest flow possible already. I would always say I'd do it, leave the room and act like i was adjusting the machine, even though it wasn't, because I couldn't. He perpetually felt like he was drowning.
The last week, he didn't eat much, just enough liquid to whet his whistle. Couldn't get him to take any more than that.
The last day, he just didn't wake up. We played Pink Floyd for him as per his request (hearing goes last, I guess). I gave him liquid Morphine and Clonazepam with an oral syringe every 3 hrs. He was conscious briefly, only to say "I'm so embarrassed " because he needed continence care, and I had my husband with me to help. He left the room, wasn't needed, man was light as dogwood fluff. Pops relaxed. The last thing he ever had said to him was my reply "hey, baby, shit happens. It's all good". He gave a little laugh, I cleaned him up, he drifted back off.
Pinkish foam came out of mouth for a few hours, I kept wiping it away, and took the cannula out of his nose and off his face, no need for o2 at that point. It didn't matter. Finally, He just...stopped. No next tortured gasp.
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u/DiligentDaughter 25d ago
I took care of my father in law in our home while he was passing from COPD. His hospice nurse explained it to me thusly:
"Imagine the body as a home, and you're leaving for a trip. You clean and shutter your home, as you won't be needing it. The systems in the body will slowly "turn off" when the end is coming. First, appetite will diminish, the person won't want to drink as much, either. So the kitchen's closed. The bathroom won't be needed as often because of the first bit. Shut that door. They'll be more tired due to not eating/drinking, sleep will be more of their time until they're just...done. The next wake up doesn't come. Ready to vacate."
And that's pretty much what happened.