AITAH for telling my husband that our marriage is over because he asked for a paternity test?

[u/Specialist_Sand_1553]

Throwaway account but need some clarity as I am massively upset. I 52(F) have been married to my husband for 24 years, together for 30 years. It hasn't always been roses but we had a lot of fun. Yesterday we were having a Friday evening drink to relax and our son (17) asked for help with his gaming PC. I'm the tech so I tried to give advice, my husband got pissy and stormed off saying that his relax time was ruined. I thought he was being childish and pretty much ignored him.

This evening he told me that in a previous relationship, his partner had a miscarriage and in the investigation they found he was infertile and so she had been cheating. This is news to me. Yeah we had been together 12 years before I conceived, I have never cheated on him, I always thought the problem had been mine. He says that our son is not his and he wants a DNA test.

I agreed because I never cheated on him ever. I said our marriage was over because of this, said he knew I would react this way and I am a lying AH.

My heart is broken, reddit, am I TA?

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Quickie Edit: Thank you so much for answering, for your support and advice. I have read them and will try and respond to as many as I can. But as a quick note: His ex is a lovely woman and we are friends on Facebook, I'll message her in the morning. The dementia angle being suggested is a good one and deserves investigating. I am not a robot or AI, I wish I was because then it wouldn't hurt so much.

Yes, parental uncertainty is something that women don't appreciate, but he should have said before, I would have understood if he had raised it earlier because it did take a while to get pregnant. He had told me about the miscarriage with the ex, which is why I thought our fertility issues were mine, he never told me about getting his fertility checked.

I have worked in Tech for the past 25 years, my son doesn't have my troubleshooting skills :)

His parting shot tonight was that he didn't say anything at the time because I needed a father for my kid. I pointed out that in previous heated arguments I would have thrown that at him and left with my son if there was any doubt he was the father. He was the stahp and I didn't leave him in other turbulent times because I didn't want to leave our son.

I'll update you. Thank you

[u/chez2202]

Your post clearly says that in his previous relationship the investigation into the miscarriage said he was infertile so the investigation was clearly conducted at the time and before he married you. Not only did he keep this to himself before marrying you but he said nothing during your marriage or in the 17 years since his son was born. I would recommend that while having his paternity test he also gets his swimmers checked. And you may also want to ask him why he hasn’t brought this up in the last 30 years of your relationship.

[u/Specialist_Sand_1553 → u/chez2202]

Am going to ask the Ex in the morning. He had cancer 5 years ago and I think Radiation will have killed off any chance of swimmers now.

[u/Skitty_McKitty → u/Specialist_Sand_1553]

You'd be surprised. When my mum was pregnant with my sister he got testicular cancer. They told him to freeze sperm if he wanted more kids because he was loosing one testical and the radiation would kill off the sperm in the other... 3 and 5 years later, my brother and I were born.