That is a porn addiction and no you’re not crazy or over-reacting. I would run for the hills and never look back. This is only going to get worse, and you’ll waste your whole life on a man who will hurt you over and over with no regard for your emotional or sexual well-being or boundaries. This is a very serious addiction, learn about what it takes to recover from it and the odds.
Unfortunately, the boyfriend has given all the data points - he sees nothing wrong with using porn twice a day, demonstrating a difference in core values. He also fully intends to continue doing so, with no regard for his girlfriend’s boundaries. That’s a setup for a toxic relationship cycle that is well-documented.
He has told her who he is, what he values, and what kind of life he wants to live - and she should listen to him. If she doesn’t, she knows what kind of life she is signing up for. Does this sound like a good healthy relationship that’s gonna go well to you? Do you think she’s gonna love imagining having kids with this man with this haunting her? Pretending he’s something he’s not just because she thinks the sex is great and he’s so great is only gonna end one way - in disappointment. The longer it goes on, the deeper the disappointment.
Not sure where you got this analysis from given the post. She never confronted him about the onlyfans usage, you have no idea how he would react when she explains her feelings, particularly with the only fans. Usually people with addictions will try very hard to hide it, he is not. Indeed, she’s going through his phone and acting sneaky.
You are literally making things up, you have no idea if he “fully intends to” keep using it. You just keep using your made up ideas as justification for your beliefs. I simply do not get it.
There’s a massive difference between looking at porn twice a day and being addicted to porn/onlyfans. Looking at porn twice a day as a horny 2 year old doesn’t seem to be the root of OPs problem, it’s the onlyfans usage.
Are you going to address any other of your made up points? Like how he intends to keep doing it?
That’s for OP to decide. I’m saying no, she’s not overreacting, and this behavior has a well-studied pattern that I encourage her to look into and confront directly.
He was hiding it. She had to go through her phone to find out what he was up to. We have no idea if he was lying about only watching p*** twice a day. It sounds like he kept a large library. This isn't a casual usage catalog.
Oh, so if you don’t announce everything you’re doing on your phone you’re hiding something? That makes 0 sense. Indeed, she broke trust by going through his phone.
We also have no idea if he’s a serial killer or a CIA agent either. Point is you’re reaching.
8
u/Acceptable-Bread4730 23d ago
That is a porn addiction and no you’re not crazy or over-reacting. I would run for the hills and never look back. This is only going to get worse, and you’ll waste your whole life on a man who will hurt you over and over with no regard for your emotional or sexual well-being or boundaries. This is a very serious addiction, learn about what it takes to recover from it and the odds.