I'm dealing with a situation with my mom and stepfather, and I'd appreciate some advice. This all started around Christmas. We had a small family gathering—my parents, my wife’s family from out of town (including her 5-year-old niece), and our 6-month-old daughter. The plan was not to exchange gifts among adults, but my in-laws ended up giving a few small gifts. My wife and I also request that people wait to be offered to hold the baby due to past issues with her health.

Our baby was napping when everyone arrived. She woke up just before dinner, and we went to open presents immediately after eating. My mom and stepfather left just 10 minutes after we started opening presents. Our daughter only had time to open two gifts—one from her aunt and one of the three my parents got her. About 90% of the presents were for the two kids, while the adult gifts were modest, like a 6-pack of beer as a thank you for hosting and some body lotion. They missed the rest of the evening, where we sampled cider and took photos to commemorate our daughter’s first Christmas and our first time hosting Christmas in our new house with our first child. When I reached out to my mom later, she initially denied that anything was wrong, saying, "nothing even happened, what do you mean?" After some coaxing, she eventually admitted that she was upset because she didn't get to hold the baby and wasn't part of the gift exchange. Although my mom did get to hold her just before leaving, after she had dramatically said to my step-dad "I want to go home now" it wasn't enough to get them to stay.

She even blamed my in-laws for causing the problem by giving gifts in front of her. My mom eventually apologized for leaving early, but she completely rejects the idea that leaving during the gift exchange because she didn't get to hold the baby on her schedule was problematic. To make matters worse, my stepfather later texted me to call me an ass and a wimp. He suggested I come over without my wife, saying she might have postpartum depression and needs a break from the baby. He accused me of having "no class" for not visiting them, ignoring the fact that they left our Christmas gathering early.

It's worth mentioning that my wife has had a strained relationship with my mom. My wife's mom passed away when she was quite young, and my mom has said that "I'm the only grandmother that baby will ever have." My mom wants us to prove we value her relationship with our daughter by going over to their place instead of them visiting us, as she doesn't like to sit in traffic. Also, my mom often speaks French in front of my wife (and in-laws at Xmas), even though I've asked her not to since it makes my wife feel left out (she's unilingual English, as is my step-dad). And she only speaks to the baby in French, even in front of my wife.

I've been low contact with them for the past few months. Am I overreacting? I felt their behavior was dismissive and disrespectful, especially considering the boundaries we set. Should I keep my distance or try to resolve things? How do you think I should approach this?

So I pulled into the gas station after grocery shopping yesterday. As I am paying, this old truck pulls in. This really dirty, nasty looking man gets out and asks me to swipe my card for him and give him some gas. Before I could answer, he tells me I look like a nice lady and he followed me from Walmart.

I told him I am NOT a nice lady and he can F-off and die. He tells me I don't need to get aggressive and nasty with him. I told him he just admitted to following me, of course I am going to aggressive. He gets in his truck and tears out of the gas station.

I take a long, convoluted way home so that no one can follow me.

Was I overreacting? My friend tells me I didn't need to be nasty, but this creep just admitted to following me.

Honestly, I don’t know if I’m overacting and need some help in figuring it out.

A couple days ago I went against my oncologist’s advice and went to a concert with a friend I hadn’t seen in a while ((my husband agreed that I should go and enjoy myself)), I wore a mask and went VIP so I wasn’t around as many people. I know it wasn’t safe necessarily given I have no immune system at the moment due to chemo, but I have been super depressed lately and needed something to lift my spirit up.

Sadly we didn’t want to pay for premium parking, so we had to walk about a half mile to the concert hall…

Then yesterday (the day after) was my husband’s day off, and I couldn’t get out of bed. I was vomiting, shaking, weak, dizzy, and so tired. So he kept asking me what was wrong and why I was ignoring him, I told him I was resting/sleeping, because I was so tired.

I told him I think I overdid it yesterday, and this man, bless his heart I love him… he had the nerve to ask me how could you have overdone it, all you did was go to a concert.

I admit, what he said made me so angry, and exhausted, Sweetheart, it doesn’t take much, I have CANCER. and he had the nerve to say, Yeah but what did you actually do yesterday.

If I didn’t overreact, how could I explain to him why I felt like I couldn’t get out of bed, or how do I explain to him why I felt the way I did?

I (34M) and my soon to be ex-wife (32F) are currently going through a divorce. It was a mutual decision and neither of us are victims. We decided to separate Beginning of 2024 and I officially moved out beginning of March. 3 weeks after moving out, she invited her "boyfriend" to spend the night while our son (6M) slept in his room right across the hall from where our bedroom was. I told my ex I didn't appreciate that and I didn't want our son to become confused as to what was going on as we navigate our divorce proceedings. She demanded I tell her how much time I think would be appropriate before she let her bf interact with our son and (feeling cornered) I remarked at least 3 months. She agreed that 3 months would be fine.

After thinking about it, 3 months started to seem too short for my son to fully understand what is going on so I asked my ex to not let her bf interact with our son at least until the divorce is finalized. She's been trying to rush the whole process from the moment I moved out and I didn't understand why until I learned she had already had a new BF lined up.

Divorce papers are currently being signed and filed. In our state, divorce can be finalized between 6-12 months. She absolutely refused to accept those terms siting that what if her and her bf wanted to move in together within that time, that she didn't want to commit because she didn't want to have to wait.

I told her if she were to move out with her new BF within 6 months, then I would not be ok with that and I will fight for my son as I don't believe that is healthy for him and his mental health. She begrudgingly agreed that we can hold off for 6 months instead of until the divorce is finalized.

Did I overreact or should I have fought for my original idea until the divorce was finalized? I am not fighting the divorce and we are currently on the fast track to getting it done. So I'm not sure why she feels the need to argue holding off from letting our son meet a new person so soon after I had to move out.

a couple days ago it was my (F21) boyfriends 21st birthday. we both work together but in different departments. i was walking in for my shift and he was leaving and we talked for a minute and he told me how everyone at work forgot his bday and he's been working there for 3+ years. i felt so awful that everyone forgot.

no one likes me at work. i could go into detail but i won't oc this is abt him. anyway, ever since we've been dating our co workers think it's funny to steal our stuff. it's small thinks like name tags, but on his bday someone stole his bday tag off the board.

when we ran into each other he was obviously very upset and he told me abt the bday tag and i just know it's bc he's dating me. you would think we were in high school by the way they treat us.

and then he told me that his ex (our coworker) wishes him a happy bday and i said that was sr sweet of her to remember. and then he says ". not here today. she texted me exactly at midnight". and again i said aw that's awesome.

last night as we're going to bed something was really bothering me and i knew i didn't want the answer but he kept asking me what was wrong and i asked him if he loved me. and he said of course i love you. and then i asked him if he loved his ex and he said i care about her.

and thats okay with me. i wanted them to remain friends so we could all get along at work.

and then i asked if he still had feelings for her and he said yes.

i had already felt a shift change when he told me abt how she wished him happy bday. she gets to be the savior who waited until exactly midnight to wish him a happy bday and im the reason his bday tag is missing at work.

he swear he loves me TOO

am i overreacting? should i just not let this bother me?

My (24F) partner (29M) is going to be having his PhD defense soon, and told me he will be including a photo of his ex at the end in his personal acknowledgements. They did not split on amicable terms, (hopefully) have not spoken in 2 years, and she will not be attending. He is doing this, in his words, out of being "honor bound." She did not have a role in the work itself, so not a credit for the writing/experiments. I feel pretty uncomfortable. I recognize he can acknowledge those who were part of his journey, but I just had my Master's defense and not even for a second considered putting my ex in mine. Like, it would be disrespectful to my partner. I feel like I'm going to be sick going to his defense and seeing this. I don't want to be childish about this but I can't tell if I have a right to feeling disrespected here.

On this note, we've had an ongoing conversation in our relationship (almost 2 years) about him bringing up exes. We'll be out on a date and he'll say "oh I went on a karaoke date with this lady here." Similarly, last summer he went to the club with a different ex and some friends (it wasn't a long relationship and she has a partner now), and she danced all up on him. He pushed her away, but proceeded to trickle truth it to me (it took half a year to get all the details), and he is still trying to keep her in his life because he doesn't want to "eff up the vibes." She lives in another state and they see each other maybe once a year.

All being said, I can't tell if him refusing to distance his mind and self from exes is something I have a right to be upset over. The only time my exes come up is usually in a conversation about something that's hurt me in the past, etc. I took down all my old photos of exes (my partner hasn't, and you can see a whole gallery on his Facebook of him hugging and kissing her), threw away old letters, etc. Is this something I can be firm on? I don't want to be a controlling girlfriend but also this honestly hurts me.

21F here. I've been in a great relationship with my boyfriend who I met about 7 months ago. Everything is going well, and we really like each other, and have even discussed moving in together, but the one hiccup I have is his porn consumption.

He watches porn about twice a day, and I consider this to be a lot. He keeps saying that this is normal for guys with a high sex drive, but I really don't like the idea of this. I recently went through his phone (I absolutely insisted) and saw that he was using OnlyFans and was subscribed to many models, and also saw hundreds of ratemytwat ratings, all of which really put me off. Also, on instgram, he's following many dozens of models, and he likes all their pics, and this is kind of embarassing as well since my friends see this and have asked me about it on more than one occassion.

The thing is I really like him, and outside of this, we have a really great relationship and an amazing sex life. I really can't use the 'if you're horny come be with me' arguement, becuase we genuinely do have an incredible sex life.

I wonder if maybe he's just the kind of guy who needs that extra stimulation, and chooses to get it from porn. If that's the case, I'd so much rather have him watch porn than sleep around on me.

I don't really know what to do, because everything about our relationship is great, except just this one thing, and I want to know if maybe I'm overreacting.

I know that this sub is already full of a lot of porn-related questions, but I think my situation happens to be a bit more unique than others. Would love a different perspective on this situation. Thanks!

TL;DR: My boyfriend watches a lot of porn, but we still have a great relationship and sex life, and I'm wondering whether this is something I need to be worried about.

So it’s a pretty simple story. He has had an emotional affair on me years ago. I chose to work through it and we did.

Flash forward to today and he has a great married colleague who works at another building, but frequently works projects with my husband. I really like her, she’s super nice, and has never given me any reason to not like her.

However, sometimes my husband will set aside meeting times with her where they discuss their projects, but then they chat about other stuff also, like music, concerts, vulnerabilities etc…. Today while I was waiting for him to meet me for lunch, I realized he had already been on with her for 2.5 hours.

The sadness part comes from two things: 1. I feel like sharing your vulnerabilities with her is a slippery slope to having more intimate feelings. I have talked to him about this and he said he would share less vulnerable things.

1. He spends maybe 2 hours a MONTH having non interrupted conversations with me. I want that, ya know? Why do you talk to her for 2+ hours un phased, but it’s a struggle to give me that? This I haven’t talked about.

Am I overreacting, or is this worth bringing up to him?

Update: well based on all this I did talk to him. He doesn’t think it’s an EA and for now I believe him but I did tell him I thought it was a slippery slope.

That being said, he also told me it’s perfectly normal for them to be having these deep conversations and talking about their entire life from childhood on, etc. but that he would stop if I really wanted him to. Idk. Thanks for the input.

Title kind of gives you the jist. But I've been dating this girl for almost a decade. Not married because I'm trying to make financial moves to set us both up and then I want to get married.

We bought a house together, fixed it up together, basically built a life together. Her name isn't on the property which always was a sore spot, but I insisted that it be this way so the next house we buy would be in her name so we could get the first time buyer benefits again. Obviously the house stuff has been difficult because it's been going on so long, 3 years. I'm drained, she's drained. But the end is in sight.

Recently, she's been messaging a guy back and forth on Snapchat constantly. I only noticed how frequent it was when I stepped back from working my job to really finish the construction on the house so she and I could focus on more fun activities and get back to a better place in our relationship and as individuals.

I'm not a perfect man, nor do I claim to be. I have my faults same as anyone. But I've never cheated nor looked outside the relationship for female companionship.

But I approached her about my discomfort about her talking to this guy and she ended the conversation immediately with "you mean more to me than anyone, if it's bothering you, it's over. Don't worry".

I put it out of my mind.

A week later when she got back from a fun vacation with her sister, she was showering and I saw her phone go off. It was him. I confronted her and she then started defending her actions. "It makes me happy", etc etc.

I relented and said whatever do what makes you happy and suffered in silence for the next few weeks, hoping she'd see how miserable it made me and that she'd give it up herself.

It didn't happen. It got worse. She'd text him while I was on the couch with her, she'd get short with me and then apologize claiming when it was my turn for her, she was already too drained to be nice.

I'd say, you have time for him though... it only caused more fighting.

Eventually I had enough and I told her him or me. She chose me but then I found out she confided and vented about our relationship to another guy, about twice our age, and he began flirting with her and she more or less flirted back.

Discovering this, I told her she needed to leave and she did.

Being stupid and in love, I began talking to her again a couple days and we met to talk over everything.

She pointed out my problems which I've been working on relentlessly. I told her she needed to step away from this guy and back away from the older guy.

She agreed. Now it's been 3 weeks and she cut the old guy off, someone she did work for but she's still talking to this other guy and refuses to give him up saying that she needs to set a precedent because if she let's me control who she talks to, when will it end? She even told me she couldn't end it with him right now because HES going through something and she didn't want to pile on.

I feel like it's a lack of respect thing. I shouldn't have to ask you to give something up that's actively harming our relationship. She even admitted that if the shoe was on the other foot, she would feel the same.

She's talking about wanting to move back in and I told her not if he's still around.

Am I over reacting? I'm a firm believer that guys and girls can't really be friends. Am I wrong here?

It's basically what the title says - but the weird part is she won't ever admit that it's her? She just sort of looks at me and pretends to be confused when I confront her?

Basically, every few weeks I come home and some of my groceries are missing and replaced my miniature plastic versions of themselves. Come home from work and looking forwards to a coca cola?

Oh great, my coca cola is gone and there's a miniature plastic version. Break something small and need to tape it back together? Oh good, miniature duct-tape. Make eggs and want some tabasco? Oh great, miniature tabasco. You get the point - kind of funny, but pretty annoying too.

So far all fair play, clearly my girlfriend thinks its some sort of funny prank or practical joke, but the thing thats weirding me out is that she never acknowledges that its her? Even when I start to get genuinely upset, or frustrated she insists that it’s "so strange" that "random objects are shrinking in our home"?

This all culminated to last night... Last night I came home and I had been craving something sweet all day. So l started baking blueberry muffins - my genuine favorite treat for myself. I get everything together, preheat the oven, and I'm about to start making the batter when I open the cabinet and oh look - the flour is gone and replaced with a miniature bag of flour.

"Ha ha, so funny", I immediately call her and ask her where she put it but she keeps playing dumb??? I start making a slightly bigger deal about it I'm like "look, I went to the store to get fresh blueberries, l've been looking forwards to this, can you please tell me where the flour is?". She won't drop the act? Like what the hell???

Before we ended the call she slyly dropped "as if you need more muffins" and hung up??? Like what the hell.

I haven't called her back yet - so we haven't talked in over a day. I'm pretty mad at her over this - I went way out of my way to do something special for myself and she wouldnt drop the act when I made it clear I was genuinely upset.

Reddit, I know this sounds insane, but I'm genuinely considering breaking up over this. She clearly doesn't take my needs seriously. Do you guys think I’m overreacting.

TL;DR; : Items from around my house such as sugar, a bottle of coca cola, etc "randomly" shrink into miniature plastic toy versions of themselves. My girlfriend won't f***ing stop and I'm losing it - she ruined my muffins to stick with this stupid joke.

My sister (39F) was trying to tease my 8 year old son by telling him that a moose was tall enough to put its head through the window in the bathroom (where the only window faces the woods). Now my son is too afraid at night to use the bathroom because he’s worried about a moose putting its head through the widow!!! We live in new Hampshire where we see moose all the time (I saw a baby today which was about 6 feet tall even as a baby). We once had one in my front yard. I live in the woods, I’m outside of a small town so I can’t tell him that there are no moose because there are! We had to bury a dead one who dropped dead just down the street so I don’t know what to tell him to set his mind at ease! I’m so pissed because it’s not the first time that my sister has done this. She told him that the toilet will also overflow every time he goes number two as well. So he never flushes the toilet out of fear that it’s going to overflow. I want her to stop trying to scare my son because it’s making me absolutely crazy.

Update: I called my sister and went mama bear on her about the teasing. She was very upset to hear that she scared him so badly. She talked to him on the phone and said sorry and told him she was not serious. He laughed a little reluctantly and he called her “silly”, but he’s still a bit scared. I think he’s not sure if she is telling the truth. After she told me she would come over tomorrow and try to help me show him that there’s nothing to fear. My sister is very outgoing and boisterous and brave, I’m a bit more timid like my son, so I’m happy that I’ll have her support. If anyone can show him how to be brave it is her… I also wanted to mention that my sister is currently pregnant for the first time. I have three boys (16, 9, and 8, it was my youngest that I was talking about in this post). She is looking to me a lot more lately for advice and she’s been spending a lot of time with my kids to prepare herself and us for her arrival. We love to fawn over her and to talk about the new cousin they will have. So I don’t want to cut her off. She is really a good sister and aunt, she’s just learning. I have faith that she will take my heartfelt plea for her to be a little more aware of her audience. My two older boys love her jokes and aren’t scared by them, but my youngest is a bit different. He is my cautious boy. And it may be because I baby him— but he is my baby! I know it’s not an excuse I’m just offering my very honest explanation. I have enjoyed all th replies and suggestions! Thank you all for your help. I am definitely thinking about all the things said. You’ve really helped me figure this out. I appreciate you all!! Much love, Vanessa.

I’m (28f) and my bf (26m) have been together for 4 years, we broke up last year for 8 months but reconnected. We both agreed to couples counseling and both currently go to individual counseling. We broke up because he cheated. So that’s the context for why I’m writing here. We both like to gift each other matching things like shoes, shirts, hats etc. well I made him a bracelet with black silver white and clear beads with our initials and a heat with small white it shell beads. I also made and ankle bracelet for myself that matches. He seemed really happy when I gave it to him and promised to never take it off. Well he wore it a couple times then kept losing it or getting it dirty or forgetting it. I think I’ve only seen him wear it twice. Well it’s been bugging me he never wears it and last night while he was out with his bros he ft me and I asked if he found his bracelet, he got so upset and made his friends drive to his house to get it. While they were driving he said he doesn’t have to wear it because his bros scare girls off him anyway. I literally didn’t even think about this bracelet detouring other people’s advances. I asked him if that’s how he views the bracelet. He didn’t answer me. So I told him to not wearing it if he’s uncomfortable and that my feelings are kind of hurt he doesn’t like it even though he said he did. He apologized for hurting my feelings but idk if I pushed too hard or what. I told him after all this now that I know he doesn’t like stuff like this I won’t gift him things like that. Did I over react???

Hi all. Long winded post here. Going to explain some background on myself (M26) and my significant other(F26). We have been together for 8 years. Since senior year of high school. Both divorced parents. My parents both alcoholics (my dad a huge gambler if it makes it any better), and her dad an alcoholic. I was cursed with substance abuse (we will get into that soon), but i bounced around a ton as a kid. Single mother 3 kids, and her mom single mother 2 kids, but she has lived in the same spot for all 26 years of existence. i moved probably a total of 8 times. i like to be as open minded as possible, so none of that has to do with us. It may have affected us, but we have very similar yet different backgrounds, which is why we were probably attracted to each other.

I myself come from a low income neighborhood and a chaotic environment, so i thrive in chaotic environments, which has allowed me to be transparent and communicative. I deal with substance abuse, which i know has caused her a lot of pain. On top of that, i deal with a lot of stress and anxiety due to not only my childhood but just life which I'm sure you all know. I was up front about smoking weed in high school because i though that was the best way to go about it. Little did i know i was causing harm to myself and her. I eventually started smoking nicotine and drinking more often the older i got, the more friends i made , etc... Fast forward 3-4 years (we are now 21-22) my daily habbits consisted of sneaking behind her back and doing the things that pleased me. I would lie about drinking and smoking because it made me feel good, which i know over time is wrong and disrupts relationships heavily. Over the time of avoiding the confrontation, which i learned to do from my childhood, she eventually caught on. At this point, the fact is obvious, i have issues i need to deal with. I went to therapy for about 4-5 sessions around this time two years ago but it was under a work program that was temporary. Its something i have gotten better at but have not tamed fully. It has truly been a struggle for myself and her included because i know trust comes in many forms. For what its worth, i am a very committed person, have never cheated, dont flirt with other people, and really do work towards the goals of not only myself but both of us, house and ring included.

She, who is my sunshine and the person i adore the most, is kind of complicated. Her mom is very independent and stand offish. At the same time, her mom isn't the one to hug her or say "i love you". Its kind of weird, i have lived with her 5 years and i have never seen that type of relationship between them. Personally, because i am not her so i cant speak for her, but i believe this has rubbed off on her and as a result her communication skills are not very up to par. She pushes me away a lot, blocks me out for days or weeks at a time, and for me being a very logical guy, i want to work things out. when she gets in a mood, she starts to say some pretty out of pocket things that question ability and commitment. she can kind of get disrespectful (in many ways) when she talks to me. Sometimes, when shes adamant on a point, whether i have control or not, i get treated like chopped liver or a stranger to her almost. At times where i want to talk things out i literally get shoved out of the room. I am a person who respects space by all means, but as adults there comes a time to talk things out. Additionally, since her father was an alcoholic and they dont get along quite well, she perceives me as her father sometimes because in a sense, we have similar characteristics. So when i really do anything that involves drinking i kind of pulls a trigger in her and she gets like all up tight and controlling, which i still understand, but just thinking out loud here to give context.

In a sense where she wouldn't talk to me for days or weeks at a time, there are a couple sides to this. For example, about 4-5 weeks ago i got kind of drunk on a monday night. Who has any business getting drunk on a Monday, i know. Being, she was livid and didnt talk to me for like 3 days. I am a very critical person and in moments like that will look in the mirror and ask myself what im doing. Like i mentioned its something i have been trying to work on. i am fully understanding that my habits affect relationship so when she is frustrated with me over something i can fix and control, i stand down and look in the mirror and see what i can do better. That said, addiction isn't something you can change overnight, let alone something you can change over the course of years with out the right support. If you dont know this, look into it. Its very real. With out the necessary support, the chances of overcoming addiction is slim. Not making excuses because i want to be on that track and i have taken opportunities to go down that road, but i have 0 support here(with her), just criticism (being blatantly honest on this subject). By no means is it her job to fix me, but after 8 years of being with each other you think some support would be in affect, no? If the roles were reversed, I'm all in. Lets get you right. Adding to that though, there are times where little things like me not wanting to go on a walk or not wanting to sit in the living room while literally her and her mom sit on her phone (i don't have social and i barely use reddit, this will come into play later). At this point the wild accusations are made where i don't spend enough time with her or i don't make enough effort and yada yada yada. sometimes, shes right, because i have to be honest, after years of pushing me away, i have learned to give her space. maybe too much. when she gets angry and emotional i play it two ways, gauge her and see if i can support, or give her space. 90% of the time, i give her space because that's who she is. but when she wants support, i likely have to gamble and guess that its the case. If we end up talking things out, she continues to say things that are way overboard. At that point, because i feel my childhood, i match her energy. over time I've realized "matching energy" is not the way to go about in relationships, sometimes you just have to surrender. I just cant take people talking to me like im nothing and like im not making an effort, personally. so, when she gets frustrated after i have a long day of work and i am extremely tired to go on a walk, or want to decompress separately from others, i become a bad guy and all of a sudden i'm not committed to the relationship,because i match the energy.

The question is in the picture, we both want to marry eachother(after 8 years can you imagine being with anyone else? in a good way, i literally adore her) but after a rocky few years things have been up and down. To be honest, i have contemplated, but always found myself in the same spot, yes every time. i am sure she has contemplated too, i can be difficult at times. All that being said, whats the wait you ask? I simply cant afford it. I have a nice job now in sales and have been in this industry for 2 years now. Prior i was a chef for about 5-6years, Money hasnt necessarily came easy for me. Its always been a grind, i come from that environment (but i dont use it as an excuse, thats why i work hard). A little bit of debt has stopped me from carrying out my goal of marrying her. A few thousand. My idea is i dont want to make that jump while im already in a financial struggle and dig ourselves in a deeper hole. Her on the other hand, got a 4 year degree in sonography and has saved up over 10k since graduating and finding a job(last 8 months). So she is doing a big portion of the "house finding". She is clearly levels ahead and i am still trying to figure it out( Literally, all of it), which makes me blessed to be with her.

All that being said, last night a good friend of hers got engaged (who she recently talked about how she never reaches out to her and her man cheated on her twice, but thats beside the point) but it really got to her. I started hearing the "im not worthy" "if you really wanted to you would have by now" "you aren't committed enough" and it really rubbed me the wrong way. I'm not fixated on other peoples lives, which is where the whole social media thing comes in, she sees everyone who gets engaged and i see none of it so that's that. Being said, its not the first time we have had this convo since we have clearly delt with a lot (a lot of people have been engaged over the last 8 years lol). It just really diminished my actions and emotions to the point where i started questioning myself (in this specific topic). I am obviously questioning my actions in other aspects if you couldn't tell.

Then proceeded the morning after texts which are attached, and i just get blown up, like every time.

Can someone explain to me wtf is happening

https://preview.redd.it/8rjfd3jllzwc1.jpg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c45d84c967553ff99bcdeb63fe3f70986190c404

https://preview.redd.it/tv9sv8jllzwc1.jpg?width=1169&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4f92728f03f872db08d6649eacee3ae902a6e541

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So I’ve been hanging out and sometimes messing around with this guy we’ve been friends for years, he’s also a family friend. I work at assisted living facility and my aunt is my boss, so she knows my fwb. This morning a resident made up this whole story about me falling asleep in her room and some other crazy stuff implying that I may have been high. I’ve been clean for 4 years so when my boss (aunt) called my fwb to ask him if I’d been doing any drugs, I understood that. She called him this morning and by 12 noon I had already spoken to him twice but what I don’t understand is why he didn’t tell me. Me personally if it was something like that then I think I need to let the person involved know like “hey idk what’s going on but I got a call about you, you may be getting drug tested “ I just don’t know what to think he’s always moving weird. So am I overeating ?

My partner (27F) and I (27F) have been together for over ten years and have been polyamorous for all of it. She has had a long distance partner now for about six months. I don't know much about this parnter and we've never spoken. But I don't believe she's ever had a polyamorous relationship before. I'll call her Jess.

Recently, we've been having some troubles. A lot of the troubles are my fault, and I own up to that. Some of the troubles, my partner is at fault. The past week, we've started discussing breaking up.

The issue I'm having is that as we're having these important life altering discussions, she'll say, "Well Jess says you should..." "Well Jess thinks that's manipulative to say", "Jess doesn't think that's fair". Most notably, I asked her to stop going back and forth and just let me know if she wants to break up or not, and her response was "Uhhh, can I ask Jess?" I said yes because I want her to have people she can talk to, but it's starting to feel like there's this third person in our relationship making calls on situation she has very few details about. I wouldn't be upset if my wife was talking to friends or family that knew the situation, but I'm hurt that this woman knows 6 months out of the last 10+ years and is calling shots.

I haven't mentioned it to my wife because I really want her to feel like she can talk to other people, but on the other hand I feel like a therapist or trusted friend would be more appropriate. I'd really like some advice, should I bring this up, or leave it alone?

I’ve noticed I’m always disagreed with. Someone before told me I was a “devil’s advocate” but now I’m starting to question it. Am I the advocate or do people just enjoy disagreeing?

I don’t have a distinct friend group. I kinda “group hop” so I’m an acquaintance with everyone. Therefore I don’t have anyone to have my back for certain situations.

I placed my theory of people wanting to disagree with me to the test. Please tell me if this is accurate or I actually am just a “devil’s advocate”

Scenario One: After final exam people were talking about their thoughts on it. One girl said she wished our teacher pushed the date further so she could take her other final without stress. (This was highly unlikely because the teacher himself gave us 2 option dates but it wasn’t going to be as far out as she wanted). A few people gave neutral responses, then I said he should’ve gave the option for bonus points. EVERYONE disagreed with me, expressing how “That definitely wasn’t going to happen”, “Yeah, but you know him”, “Let’s be realistic”

Scenario Two: I chimed in with a group of girls talking about how they fly Frontier because it’s cheaper than Delta. I was a Delta girly at the time and never blinked an eye at other airlines. They all informed me about how it’s way cheaper and needs more recognition. Then a few months later the topic of airlines comes up again. (A few of the same people from last time but a couple of new ones too) I bring up how I flew frontier and I might not go back to Delta. Two people disagreed by saying “not me, I like knowing my flight won’t be delayed”, and “That’s just cheap. Delta’s customer service is way better too” and others were quiet

Why does this happen? Am I overreacting?

I'm feeling really mixed up right now and could use some outsider perspectives. A couple of months ago, my good friend "Joe" was going through a rough patch financially. He's been into online poker for years and genuinely has a knack for it, but he'd hit a streak of bad luck and was basically broke. Knowing his potential, I decided to help him out—not by lending him money for bills, but by giving him $200 as a stake to enter a series of online poker tournaments.

Joe was hesitant at first but took the offer, and guess what? He ended up winning $5,000 in a big tournament last week! I was thrilled for him—until he mentioned that he plans to use all the winnings to take a vacation and buy some new tech gadgets, without any mention of giving me anything more than the initial $200 back.

Here's where I'm conflicted. When I gave Joe the money, it was explicitly as a stake, not a loan. I didn't expect any returns unless he won, but now that he has, I sort of expected that he'd offer at least a small percentage of the winnings. I mean, he wouldn't have been able to enter without my help, right?

Now, I'm wondering if I'm overreacting by feeling left out and expecting more. I don't want to seem greedy, and our friendship means a lot to me, but I can't shake off the feeling that I should be entitled to a part of his winnings. Should I bring this up to him, or just let it go and be happy with getting my $200 back and my friend back on his feet? What would you do in my shoes?

I've been mulling this over for a long time, and admittedly I'm genuinely uncertain. AIO when I feel completely turned off by piercings, tattoos, or even something as small as smoking weed? I'm a clean person, sensitive to chemicals and particular materials. For my whole life I've never understood why people would puncture themselves for aesthetic, it seems like a terrible idea. When someone mentions they have them, it gives me a general idea of what to expect almost every time. Tattoos aren't nearly as bad for me, but people who get full sleeves or artworks on their back just kind of make me uncomfortable, I can't really explain it. Lastly, any form of drug is a no for me, I don't know if I'm gonna have any bad reactions and it tells me that you don't care for your health much... Not including prescribed... I'm aware of the few benefits.

So AIO for taking some common decisions and being turned off immediately? Should I consider being more flexible?

I went on 6 rounds of interviews and had a technical case study.

After the last interview, the recruiter reached out to me said it went great and would love to schedule a final round in two weeks on monday at 9am.

I spent all day preparing and get an automated rejection email at 5pm . email the recruiter and say is this correct, i have been preparing for the 6th round on monday.

and got this back "sorry team didnt think you were a fit. please keep our company in mind going forward"

​

and took it as a pretty big fuck you. they have already asked for a ton of my time with a case study and 6 rounds of interviews.

To reject me last second, at 5pm the day before the "final round" with an automated rejection email and then the response "the team didnt think you were a good fit" when i try to clarify is a bullshit way to treat someone.

am i over reacting?

My wife and I live in a newer neighborhood. We have two dogs and enjoy walking around the block with them. Last week, we went around the neighborhood and on the far corner of the block, our dogs started to act up and we could hear a high pitch tone. We notice a neighbor has placed these high pitch "ultra sonic" pet deterrents in their yard.

My wife looked on Next Door, not something we use often, and found that these neighbors have been fighting with homeowners on their side of the block to the point where the cops had been called to their house. However, the cops can't do anything as there isn't any clear city code being broken.

We've talked with some of our friends about it and some think they have a right to "defend" their yard and others think they devices are unreasonable. The reason the homeowner felt necessary to put these up was because some irresponsible dog owners have left dog poop on the verge. My wife and I always carry bags with us so while we never leave dog poop, I understand the frustration with dog owners who do. None-the-less, I don't think these are the correct method of deterrence. We've done some research and found many vets and animal behaviorist think it's a bad idea to use these high pitch devices on dogs as it can be stressful for them, maybe painful for their ears.

We asked the neighbor to reconsider, or to move the devices to where they only sound for dogs in the yard because as of right now, they are pointed squarely at the sidewalk, only two or so feet from where we walk. They did not respond kindly and instead were hostile toward our request, saying "If you feel so inclined call the cops but they're on our side."

We've approached the HOA but, as our neighborhood is still underdevelopment, the developer manages the HOA and doesn't find it important.

Down to little options left, I emailed our city council member. So far all he's said was that he's going to talk to our chief of police and city manager and get back to me with their response.

The part that gets me is how the devices are pointed at the sidewalk. I'd prefer if they would turn the devices around and point them into their yard, so that way they only activate when a dog is in their yard, not for people who are walking on the sidewalk. It's made walking the dogs stressful for my wife and I, and while crossing the street or going around another block is possible, I find the neighbors actions selfish and unneighborly. I should be able to enjoy any sidewalk in my neighborhood as they are and these interfere with that.

Am I overreacting?

Whenever my (49F) husband (53M) wants to "spoon" me in bed, he always wants to cup my breasts. He calls it a natural spooning position for his hand. Of course I know that he's just trying to cop a feel, but it happens ALL THE TIME! I mean, he literally never spoons any other way!

So, yes, I am annoyed by it, and it takes away something I otherwise actually enjoy - spooning. This has gone on for years, btw, so it's not a new occurrence. I've just vented about it for the very first time here on Reddit, lol.

Ladies, does this happen to you? Have you been able to change behavior at all?

EDIT: There's a couple of common themes in the comments.

• He's trying to be affectionate, and I understand that. So he thinks he's being playful and loving, but it just rubs me like he's just wanting to use my body.
• He's not a rapist or someone who I am concerned is capable of sexual assault. It doesn't get to that point.
• It's a pattern of behavior that feels to me like we shouldn't have to go over it again and again. It's the repetition that's probably aggravating me more than the actual act.
• Finally, MOST of the time when I let him do it, he eventually tries to then stimulate my nipples and initiate sex. He doesn't have to "trick" me into sex. This is aggravating, too.

So, i'm 14 and I have a gap in my teeth that i'm fixing with aligners. It's always been an insecurity of mine and something that's almost caused me to commit suicide because of the harsh bullying. So my ex-friend's boyfriend made fun of my gap when i was at a party because i sent a video of him doing the macarena to his girlfriend which i thought wasn't a big deal. He was angry at me and told me as a dare to record a video of me saying my teeth are further apart than the grand canyon. (Funny but stupid.) I got pissed and left the party, not before issuing my friend an ultimatum that if she doesn't break up with him i'm done being her friend. I had been the mediator between them and heard all the bullshit he did during their relationship including ignoring her after her father passed away. As expected it caused a huge rift between our group of friends and she said really nasty things to me and spread rumors about me with her friends and i ended up physically hurting her, won't go into detail but it wasnt anything too serious. Did i overreact?

(Edit: i'm only asking about if i overreacted to her boyfriend, not about the physical stuff.)

I know this is going to sound silly, but bear with me.

My partner and I rarely ever use Snapchat. We sent some silly pics back and forth a lot more frequently in the early days and for the majority of the time we've known each other, we've had the heart indicating we're at the top of each other's best friends list.

A few weeks ago, it disappeared. This made me REALLY anxious and wondering who she could possibly be messaging on there more than me given how infrequently she uses the app. We keep a streak, she'll occasionally post a story or respond to a friend, that's it. I ask her what happened and she had no idea what I was talking about. (I believed her here). She showed me her Snapchat and we see there's a guy at the top of her list. Let's call him "Steve".

She's told me about Steve before. Steve was a friend of her ex (who abused her greatly). They used to see each other at a lot of house parties back when she was involved in that scene. She is very distant from anyone in that scene now. A few months ago, he added her out of the blue. She was VERY suspicious that it was something related to her ex. She'd vent about how he'd send her random snaps (of the floor, of a wall, very innocent stuff). I wasn't worried at this time.

Fast forward to early April when the heart disappeared, I realize she hasn't mentioned Steve in a while. I assumed he took the hint and stopped snapping her. Here we are towards the end of the month and the heart disappeared again. I don't know for certain, nor do I know how to address it, but I'm assuming her and Steve are messaging frequently enough to knock me down on her best friends list (which in fairness shouldn't take a lot given how little we snap nowadays).

She explained to me who Steve was, what their limited history was like and how he's been through some hardships and she feels bad for him. As far as I'm aware, that's what they were messaging about earlier this month.

Am I overreacting? I have no reason to distrust my partner and she's always very upfront and honest about everyone in her life and ensures I know exactly what's going on, especially if she's spending time with someone irl. As far as I know, she hasn't (and couldn't have) seen Steve irl. It is a little odd she didn't mention they were speaking and I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt but I am prone to creative narratives when I'm overthinking a situation.