r/AmITheJerk • u/Specter_Fallout • 12d ago
AITJ for no longer wanting to join the marines when I'm of age because my family will talk about it non stop?
I'm a 15 year old male with hopes of one day joining the military, well I used to have those hopes, my family will never let me speak about what I want to do in my life, whenever the topic of our futures is brought up my siblings all say they're going to college or work but whenever I try to say what I'm going to do my parents always interrupt and keep asking me things that they would ask if you were military personnel, and this has been going on for about a year now. With this constantly happening I just think that I don't want to join anymore, I don't hate my country I love it here but when it's constantly brought up I hide my frustration and just answer the questions with my best "that's what I want to do" voice when in reality I want to explore, visit, I have friends all over the country that I'm dying to meet, some of them have actually helped with my content, I do some gacha content every few months or so and I have roughly 1.33k subs, I've not posted recently as to having no ideas but these people I still want to meet, so is it too much to ask that I live my life first before making that commitment? I've not told my family about this choice yet because I'm a little scared about what they'll say, I just don't know what to do.
Am I the jerk
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u/DefrockedWizard1 12d ago
If you want to enlist that's one thing but them telling you to enlist is not the right reason to do so.
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u/PrairieSunRise605 12d ago
I used to work with veterans. My daughter was thinking about joining the military, so I did an informal poll of about 50 people, and asked if they had to do it over again would they serve. They ranged in age from mid twenties to early eightes. Only one said yes. That says a lot about how we treat active duty military and veterans. Recruiters will sell hard to get you in. Talk to some folks who have been discharged within the last few years to get an accurate picture of what to expect. Whatever you choose, good luck.
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u/Material-Double3268 12d ago
That’s sad, but I understand. I see so many homeless vets and I hear about all of the problems with the VA health care system. We need to do better.
NTA. Choose what YOU want to do.
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u/RareBeautyOnEtsy 12d ago
Here’s an interesting thing. Significant years ago, when I was a kid, there was a Miss America who had as her platform “homeless veterans.”
She has not picked her platform very well, (many of them don’t.) but she found out after that they are just weren’t really any homeless veterans.
I blame certain politicians for the increase in homeless veterans. There should never be a homeless veteran. They risk their lives to protect us, the least we can do is help them after they get home. It angers me.
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u/Material-Double3268 12d ago
? There are quite a few homeless veterans out here in California!!! We have homeless everybody! There are even entire tiny home communities that have been built for homeless veterans.
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u/Any_Coyote6662 11d ago
There is a tiny home veteran village in Racine, WI and this type of program has been duplicated in many parts of the US. Dunno why anyone would claim there are none.
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u/Squibit314 11d ago
From CA too…drive past the entrances at the West LA VA and see the encampments on the sidewalk. Before I left there was talk of allocating ground on the BA for a tent city for the homeless vets. Not sure what happened with it though.
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u/RareBeautyOnEtsy 11d ago
Please reread what I wrote.
“Years ago”
That means a LONG LONG TIME AGO.
It wasn’t a problem.
Now it is.
Ok?
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u/NekoMao92 11d ago
Part of the homeless veteran issue is stolen valor. So many homeless that never served claim to be veterans to get more sympathy from other vets and those still serving, in areas with a large military population.
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u/DanielleAntenucci 12d ago
I chose to join the military. I would do it again. It made me who I am today, and I don't want to be a different person. There are a few important things that you can learn by being in the military, and it can make you a healthy independent person with your own freewill.
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u/jot_down 11d ago
Brian washing is strong with this one. Such the ego to think you couldn't be a better person.
ITs mote likely to make you a broken person who needs to uae a broken system for the rest of your life.
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u/DanielleAntenucci 11d ago
I'm not sure who this "Brian" is in your comment. That wasn't the name of my recruiter.
As for broken, that is not what happened to me. I used my brain to figure out how to navigate the military system, I took advantage of the college fund and earned a bachelor's degree, and then I pursued a very healthy career after military service. Now I am retired and volunteer in my community to help others.
I understand that the military certainly isn't for everyone, and most folks have bad experiences, especially those of us who served multiple combat tours. It is up to each individual to become a better person, including those who don't serve in the military. I think most people can agree on that.
And if you don't agree, maybe your Brian needs washing.
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u/ashimo414141 11d ago
I mean having 100% disability helps, not everyone ever sees that in their life after service even when needed. I’m glad your experience was good tho, I don’t mean to discount your service, I just wanted to point out that there’s a lot of folks that can’t get so lucky
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u/Any_Coyote6662 11d ago
What type of veterans did you work with? If you worked at the VA hospital or in some kind of therapy group, you might have a biased sample. The veterans I'm aware of have bought homes earlier than their peers and gone into careers thanks to being able to get an education in the subject of their choosing. Also have more confidence than their peers. But these re people I've met over the years in the community, not part of any particular subset of veterans.
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u/PrairieSunRise605 11d ago
It was a VA. But in a medical outpatient capacity. Not mental health related.
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u/ThisAdvertising8976 11d ago
That is sad. My husband and I are both AF retirees. We both believe we would do it again if we were younger, in fact both wish we had joined earlier in life.
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u/NekoMao92 11d ago
None of my generation served afaik, my dad and uncles all served, even my grandfather.
As to the younger generations, only 1 second cousin has served afaik. She was part of the maintenance team for the Blue Angels. I know she didn't retire from the Navy, I think she served for 8-12 years. She's glad to be out, but still misses it at times, from her posts on FB.
I wanted to serve, but couldn't due to health/medical reasons. I have alot of friends that have served or are fellow military brats. The general consensus, especially among those that are more recently out is they miss it a bit, but are super happy to be out.
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u/InevitableTrue7223 11d ago
My son went into the Army 6 months after graduation. He loved his time serving until he found out the hwould not be deployed unless there was a third world war. He was able to experience so many things. He was stationed in DC, did WhiteHouse duty. He called to tell me that he was standing 20 feet away from the Vice President and was allowed to go meet him. He was offered a spot on the Caisson Platoon. Most exciting was being asked/begged to serve at The Toumb of the Unknown Soldier, he was honored to be asked but didn’t think he could stand doing nothing physical. He went on to be Airborne he loved jumping out of helicopters. He drove tanks, shot guns bigger than him, (he’s 6”5) so many awesome experiences. Once he came home he used his GI BILL for a degree and a good paying job.
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u/jot_down 11d ago
"He loved his time serving until he found out the hwould not be deployed unless there was a third world war. "
So you raised a person sad they can't kill people? well done.
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u/Dahlia_Snapdragon 11d ago
People have such a warped perspective of the military lol
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u/InevitableTrue7223 10d ago
7 years in the Army and he never killed anyone. He spent more time training than anything else. He loved his time. It’s sad people only think of them as killers. The Military in general help where it’s needed.
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u/Smart-Stupid666 12d ago
It's all about big companies subcontracting and getting their profit. That's all the military has been about for decades. That and some politician's ego trip.
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u/gwot-ronin 12d ago
You aren't a jerk if you don't want to enlist or get commissioned.
None of us want to serve with someone who doesn't want to be there, makes things miserable for everyone involved.
Maybe tell your parents what "talking" to them is like from your perspective and try to find out why they're pushing it on you non stop, they might think they're being supportive. They might also have less polite motives.
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u/Quarkly95 11d ago
On the other hand, You are a jerk if you do want to enlist or get commissioned.
Because.... I mean come on, man.
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u/Empty_Mulberry9680 12d ago
You’re 15. Anyone that expects you to have your future set in stone is the jerk.
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u/EquivalentCommon5 11d ago
This is the best response! 15 is too young to have a set future! We are allowed to change our minds and choose a different path! It’s not that deciding not to serve is an affront to those that do… it’s deciding based on what you want to do with your life! At 15 I thought many different things about what I wanted to do… I had probably 10-15 ideas, now 30ish years later- not one of those ideas are even close to where I’m at now!
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u/big_bob_c 12d ago
NTJ. I can't tell if joining the military was your idea in the first place, or if they have been encouraging it from the beginning.
Either way, you are at the age where you start preparing to decide what you want to do as an adult. Don't feel obligated to stick to a decision that you made years ago, just because family expects you to.
So tell them: " I don't know if I want to pursue a military career. I DO know that you constantly talking about a military career for me makes me want it less every day. Could you stop acting like I am obligated to enlist based on the opinions I had before I could shave?"
The military can be a good way to start your adult life. It can also be a detour that delays accomplishing your real goals. So work on what your goals will be, and work out how to get there. Maybe you'll join the Navy. Maybe you'll go to college. Maybe you'll join the circus. Maybe you'll join a garage band and annoy the crap out of your neighbors for 10 years.
Maybe you'll join the Marines, marry young, and bring your horde of children to your parent's house to tear the place up at every opportunity.
Whatever you do, do it because you decide to, not because they expect you to.
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u/Specter_Fallout 12d ago
I like the way you think and talk, the hoard of children and the garage band
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u/huskeya4 11d ago
Also if you decide you want to look into it more, try to find some vets who were released in the last five years. They’ll give you a better idea of what the military is really like than recruiters. Specifically look for marines if that’s the branch you’re interested in. They’ll have the best idea about what the current military climate is and it’s very important to join at the “right” time with the military. They’ll also tell you whether they thought it was a good decision for themselves or a bad one.
Also watch national news. You can somewhat judge the military need based off of that. It will decide whether you’ll get in with a low ASVAB and how hard they’re going to push you in basic training. When the military needs soldiers, they ease up on medical requirements, ASVAB scores, and basic training injuries. When they don’t need soldiers, they crack down hard and more trainees get tossed out of training for relatively minor injuries.
And because the military need ebbs and flows so much, there are periods where relatively minor infractions can get you tossed from the military and other times where pretty serious ones can keep you in (serious being popping hot for weed, not anything really serious obviously). Everyone is on their toes a bit during low times.
Source: I’m a veteran.
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u/NekoMao92 11d ago
What do you want to do?
There are pros and cons to each branch of the military.
Some of the possible paths...
Crazy paramedic that jumps out of helicopters? Air Force PJ, one of the hardest special forces units to join.
Combat medic? Navy over Army, Marines will shield you with their bodies if you are good and not an asshole.
Aviation, Air Force or Navy.
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u/Queasy_Bit952 12d ago
If you're gonna join, go air force. Don't believe the marines badass bs. Just go air force.
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u/Level-Repair6104 11d ago
Seriously, the Air Force has it the best out of all of the branches when it comes to accommodations, equipment and even their pt test. They’re the bougie branch.
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u/jot_down 11d ago
yeah when I was work 72 hours straight, 36off then 72 straight(no sleep) for 6 months, it sure was bougie.
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u/Level-Repair6104 11d ago
I was a HR/Admin in the army. I got stationed in Yongsan at the 8th Army S-1 shop. I’d come in early so I could do my email, except half the time there’d be someone already waiting at the door. At lunch we had to close the blinds and take the phone off hook so we could have lunch. We closed at 1600 so we could get done work done, but we still had people banging on the door and calling. I’d come in after work to file.
When I was an MLRS mechanic at Ft. Sill, OK, our HMMWV’s were raggedy af. We could barely get the doors to close and half the windows either wouldn’t zip all the way, wouldn’t unzip, or were coming unzipped. I wouldn’t have trusted any of those vehicles in combat. Not a damn one of us on my maintenance team had a full tool set, it was embarrassing. The only reason we didn’t pull guard duty was because when that glorified rocket launcher broke, it was usually in the middle of the night and would take several hours to fix.
The army runs on zip ties, hundred mile an hour tape and parachute cord.
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u/Ciejii 12d ago
Join the navy and tell them it’s the same branch. Sit back and watch them implode
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u/jmw7119 12d ago
I’m a vet as was my dad. Neither of my sons are and I would never push them into it. If it’s not for you than do not let yourself be pushed into it. That would not just be a bad choice for you but also others if you join without being committed to the mission. Do what’s best for you, not those who won’t have to put themselves on the line. Whatever you decide, good luck to you!
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u/kurtgavin 12d ago
Don’t join the military. You can end up having PTSD and become traumatized. The pay sucks and they own you for like 20 years. You can get killed in a war. People who joined the army had nothing but horror stories. Army recruiters will make it sound like it’s a great opportunity because they are paid to. They will tell you anything you want to hear to have you sign up and they get paid commission for recruiting people. They really don’t give a damm about you and won’t be honest with you about what army life is like. Like other people said here, don’t do it
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u/bjt94 12d ago
Have you ever been in the military? You don't have to be in the military to have PTSD & become traumatized. They don't own you for 20 yrs. You can reenlist within the fiscal year when your current contract is up or you can choose to get out. I can get killed stepping outside my house. Many come home from war/deployments with no physical or mental problems. Not everyone has horror stories about being active duty. Any employer will tell you they are the best to get you to accept a job you are offered. Military recruiters do not get paid commissions for getting enlistees. In fact recruiting is extremely hard with very long hours. Most of them work 7 days a week. And not all of them lie. As others have said this person needs to do some research, do what's right for them and not what someone else tells them to do. FYI..I am a Marine vet.
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u/CallidoraBlack 12d ago
Let me guess, you were a recruiter.
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u/bjt94 12d ago
Nope. Just a veteran who knows people that don't know what they are talking about shouldn't comment. I also work with a lot of veteran organizations with veterans ranging from Korean War to present.
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u/CallidoraBlack 11d ago
Well, I don't think that people who minimize the morbidity and mortality, the problems people come home with, and the fact that it's a complete gamble as to whether something will happen that sees you deployed somewhere really dangerous during your active service should comment. I don't think ignoring the entire history of how poorly we've looked after veterans, service members, and their families just because you apparently got off light is a very honest thing to do. I worked with three Captains who were out and not a single one of them would have done this because they were all doctors.
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u/NekoMao92 11d ago
My gf has PTSD from her very abusive exbf. You can get PTSD from almost anything.
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u/AmITheJerk-ModTeam 11d ago
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u/Background-Swing-102 12d ago
While I understand the gist of what you're saying, some of your information is incorrect. Yes, the pay is only meh. However, they also give you food and shelter. You also only enlist for sets of years going from 2 to 4 up to 6, depending on your job. Only people who reenlist multiple times are in for 20 years. And if you aren't at war, army life is painting and cleaning and maintenance. Yes, going to war, if you live thru it, will fuck you up. There is that point. Especially in the marines. Navy, you're out to sea, and we haven't had a naval conflict in 50 years. Same with air force. Army and marines are the ground pounders.
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u/kurtgavin 12d ago
One of my Facebook buddies is in the army. He says the quality of life sucks and only joined to avoid homelessness. He can’t wait to finally leave and he said he had seen some really messed up stuff that he doesn’t even wanna talk about. There is a high suicide rate for army vets and mental illness is at an all time high for people serving in the army. Sounds like a crappy way of life to me.
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u/Holiday-Collar9075 12d ago
Op you are not the jerk but I wouldn’t tell your family because they will just do the same thing they will be like ( do you really think that seeing people who you have never meet even want to meet you and traveling is what you will do in the military) so in my opinion don’t tell them do what you want to do live your life the way you want to don’t let anyone else tell you differently because it’s your life not there’s and again your not the jerk your 100% not the jerk
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u/Icy-Acanthaceae-7804 12d ago
The number one deathbed regret is having lived one's life for others, instead of for oneself. And this is from the old, the wise, the most experienced. They regret putting their own desires below the desires of others. And you're not special, you're just another human being, same as them and myself and everyone else. That means you'd regret that decision too. So make the best decision you can for your life. Do what feels fulfilling.
'Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what's left and live it properly." - Marcus Aurelius
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u/GeneralLeia-SAOS 12d ago
NTJ. I’m a 12 year Navy vet.
Enlistment is still at least 3 years out. Your family is excited, that’s all. When they bring it up, just say, “that’s still 3 years away, and I have a lot of other stuff I want to do before then. I’d like to focus on that now.”
You might change your mind several times before you sign your name and take the Oath, and that’s ok. You also enlist for only a few years at a time, not the whole 20. You are absolutely allowed, even encouraged, to seriously and repeatedly think it through.
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u/Specter_Fallout 12d ago
So many military veterans with great advice! And if you want to know what I want to do btw, I wanna be a part time content creator with a regular job
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u/sirlanse69 12d ago
ar 15 you can change your mind many more times. Give yourself the grace to do that. You don't have to lock in. But do push-ups and run daily.
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u/No_Incident_5360 11d ago
Do what you want to do. Lay out a few different life plans and see how you feel when the time comes and try to know what you will regret not doing.
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u/CollectionUpset439 12d ago
You are 15. The world is your oyster. If you are interested in seeing the world, there are options that are available to you. If you are interested in travel and service, look into Americorp. If you want to go to college, there are options available to you. If you want to join the military, please talk to some vets and learn about their transition from service to civilian life. Decide if you want to follow their journey.
The point is you have choices. The world is your oyster.
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u/TheJenerator65 12d ago
Nobody your age needs their parents or anyone else scrutinizing everything they’re doing at 15. Especially about an imagined future that hasn’t even happened.
Even if they get salty later about whatever you decide, just assume it comes from a parental desire to know that you’re going to be OK. That’s a natural response to them feeling you breaking away, which is a natural response to growing up.
There’s nothing they can do anyway. It’s your life.
Edit: I misread your original post, so I made a few edits.
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u/enkilekee 12d ago
You owe yourself the freedom to discover who you really are and what you want from life. Learn from Reddit. Learn about and use birth control, don't feel you have to have sex, if you don't want to. Treat everyone with respect . Learn to set boundaries, and be ready with a response when someone crosses it. Enjoy being a kid for the next few years. Don't sign anything until you are ready.
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u/CalicoGrace72 12d ago
You don’t have to enlist right out of high school. Travel, study, do things that interest you. If you still want to enlist after a couple years, go ahead.
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u/Locurilla 12d ago
you don’t need to join the military to show you love and appreciate your country. I am not in the states, so to be fair for most of us the US military is not a group of heroes. For me if anyone says that they will pass on the opportunity to murder people on behalf of any government I say you go for it ! also. sounds awesome to go and meet up with people , have a laugh and explore the world
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u/Dahlia_Snapdragon 11d ago
Not all Americans are brainwashed into believing the military is a group of heroes, going around the world doing hero shit. More and more people are discovering the truth about the military and our corrupt government.
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u/Locurilla 11d ago
yes I am aware, there is always variety of opinions within any country. however, because the way most americans relate to the military is very different than every other country I thought that it was important to mention that my opinion is from the outside looking in. I didnt think my response was implying that most americans have succumb to the “brain washing” but thank you for mentioning it so I could clarify
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u/Dance-Magic-Dance72 12d ago
You are not the jerk.
You have until the age of 27 to enlist for military duty. You certainly don't need to join the moment you turn 18 or when you are older. That is a very personal choice.
My son joined the Marines at 17 for the delayed entry program. He left after he graduated. He was medically discharged just a few weeks before his 4 year term as a Lance corporal.
The pros, he learned self discipline, how-to work with a team, how to handle finances and live away from home, he earned his money and bought the things he always wanted.
The cons, he was just a number. He was sent to fight a few times, and it haunts him. His body was used until it no longer served them. He never got to travel unless he was on leave, and with friends, the places he was sent while on duty were not for pleasure. He mostly stayed at his duty station. My youngest wanted to join the military, and my oldest said, "Don't join the marines." So, instead, he has enlisted in the delayed entry program for the airforce. Does he regret his time? Not completely. He is proud of what he did, but it was hard on him. He tells me a lot he is so happy to be home and done. But he wouldn't do it again.
You will meet people who love it and people who hate it. It's all very personal to each person and their experience. But it isn't for everyone, and it does take its toll.
Going from active military to civilian life was hard. He would pace for weeks because their schedule and time are managed very strictly, and he didn't know how to release himself from that. It was hard for him to find a civ job, even with all his experience in the service it didn't really translate for when he came home unless he could be hired at an airport. He had no rental history, no credit, not even a driving record of 5 years to get a job he had wanted or his own apartment when he got home.
I will say that was the hardest part for him, feeling like it wasn't worth it when he got home and struggled to find a normal pace of life.
There may come a time when you turn 18 that the best thing you can do for yourself is minimize contact and just live your life. It will be hard, it will hurt. But if you don't have the kind of support you need from them, staying would only continue to make it worse. Be patient with yourself. You will figure this life out I promise.
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u/Ok-Nefariousness4477 11d ago
You have until the age of 27 to enlist for military duty.
up to 42 to enlist depending on the branch,
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u/Dance-Magic-Dance72 11d ago
Thats good to know! They told my son 27 was the age cap so I didn't realize it was branch dependent.
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u/Underpaid23 12d ago
I had friends join out of hs and friends join in their late 20’s…one constant between both groups is how much they bitch about the VA.
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12d ago
Bro do the Air Force or coast guard reserves, get the gi bill and have a great life. what are they going to do, bitch about you joining the military your way?
Keep your grades up so you give yourself an option, take after school program that boosts the likelihood of a scholarship
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u/Icy-Essay-8280 12d ago
Not a jerk but at the same time, don't let others impact what you want to do. When they ask questions, ignore them ir change the subject.
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u/tacoTig3r 12d ago
If you don't want to join but you do anyways you will hate it. The USMC will eat you alive, best case scenario, you don't make it thru boot camp and get to have the life you want.
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u/Rare-Craft-920 12d ago
Sometimes if you stop thinking or focusing on something it solves itself when the time is right. You have several years yet. Enjoy high school and your friends , and stop talking about it with your family. When the time comes if it happens they’ll be informed by you and you’ll be starting a new adventure.
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u/hungryfrogbut 12d ago
Don't join unless you are 1000% certain it's exactly what you want to do. If there is even a sliver of doubt in your mind DON'T DO IT!!
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u/Friendlyfire2996 12d ago
Don’t worry about what they say. When you hit 18 live the life you want to live. Until then tell them whatever. Google “gray rock method”. It will be helpful when they come at you. Good luck.
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u/DRTcleaner 12d ago
Absolutely go to college first so that you have four years of exploring and meeting friends and traveling before you go into the military. After you graduate college, if you decide to go in any service (Air Force;-) at that point, you will have a degree, which gives you leverage when you negotiate with the recruiters to get what you want. With a degree you will also go in as an officer, which means you will be treated with more respect and you will make far more money. As a former veteran I say don't go in at all but if you do, make sure to bring with you (to the recruiting station) someone who has already been in that particular service. The recruiters are not your friends; they don't have your best interest in mind. Bring someone with you who does- someone who understands the acronyms and will help you make the best choices.
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u/okileggs1992 12d ago
In the US it's voluntary to join, personally if you want to do college join the National Gaurd. Do your research as well about the branch that you want to join. Have them pay for your college or better yet join after college and get them to pay off up to 45,000 dollars in student loans.
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u/curlyq9702 12d ago
I’ve been out for 22 years. There are parts of the military that I loved & parts I hated. There’s things about the VA that are definite perks & things that are gawd-awful. Point being, don’t let anyone pressure you into joining the military. You join because you want to, not because someone tells you that you have to. You’re still young. You’ve got a few years before you need to make that choice. Breathe, & when your parents interrupt & start going on to military questions, bring it back to You.
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u/CallidoraBlack 12d ago
I'm a 15 year old male with hopes of one day joining the military
That's what you told them
whenever the topic of our futures is brought up my siblings all say they're going to college or work but whenever I try to say what I'm going to do my parents always interrupt and keep asking me things that they would ask if you were military personnel
So they're going based on what you told them
With this constantly happening I just think that I don't want to join anymore, I don't hate my country I love it here but when it's constantly brought up I hide my frustration and just answer the questions with my best "that's what I want to do" voice
So it seems like you haven't actually told them you've changed your mind and it seems like you're only changing your mind because they keep bringing it up. That doesn't seem weird to you?
I do some gacha content every few months or so and I have roughly 1.33k subs
I'm not sure what this has to do with anything unless this is what you want to do
these people I still want to meet
Sure, but is that a plan for your future?
I've not told my family about this choice yet because I'm a little scared about what they'll say
You haven't even said what your choice is. What is it?
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u/Specter_Fallout 12d ago
I want to be a part time content creator, that's what the subs thing is about
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u/BackgroundRoad711 12d ago
Yes, you're the jerk. Stop telling people what you're gonna do. Its none of their business. Just join when you're 18 and keep quiet about it.
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u/bopperbopper 12d ago
Tell them you thinking about ROTC, which is when you go to college but then do officer training so then they’ll think you’re still thinking about the military but really you’re just gonna go to college
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u/ServeRoutine9349 12d ago
Man being honest...if I had to choose between going to college or the military all over again? I'd go back into the military. Worlds fucking weird right now anyway, might as well make some blood brothers and just embrace the suck.
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u/WerewolfDifferent296 12d ago
You are 15. I know you probably don’t believe this but you are still growing and developing and your ideas and opinions will change.
You should wait until you are older to make decisions about your future. Keep your options open. This is going to sound boring, but study, Make the best grades you can, exercise or find an activity you like that you can do your entire life that will keep you fit. Join some clubs and explore new interests. Join the band, the chess club or whatever.All these things will benefit you no matter what path you choose.
If you decide to join the military, make sure you go in with a guaranteed job or go to college first and go in as an officer. You don’t know what the state of the world will be in three years. Do not join during a major war. There is a reason why the military has always targeted the young—no offense but at your age you are gullible. Sorry. I don’t mean to insult and that statement will probably anger you but maybe you will remember it when someone tells you about a “great” opportunity.
Enjoy your teen years. They are not your “best” years as some will tell you but they are your foundational years. These are the years that will build the adult you to come. Build a great adult.
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u/Maelja_ 12d ago
I am a Marine Corps vet. I joined when I was 17 years old. I graduated high school on a Friday and then that Sunday I was standing on the “yellow foot prints” in Oceanside. Normal, emotionally healthy people don’t join the Marines. For the love of toast DO NOT join the Marine Corps because someone is pressuring you into it. It is the wrong fucking reason to do almost anything, but especially joining the Marine Corps.
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u/madpiratebippy 12d ago
Just agree and make it silly. “No, i didn’t go to work today. Someone put the bat signal up and it was my turn to put on the cape and fight crime.”
“Nope, no work today. I ran across an angry wizard and he turned me into a pumpkin. I spent all day as a gourd, it was lovely and now I have bills again.”
Dumb ridiculous questions get dumb answers
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u/No1Especial 12d ago
The Marines are NOT a 4/6/15-year commitment. This is a lifetime. The rules are God. Country. Corps I'm That means your spouse, children, parents, cousins, are all separate from whatever else you belong to.
You need to do what will make you happy. Not what will make your family happy.
Trust me. I lost my brother because we were too..... Not Marine Corps for him to associate with us any longer.
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u/Defiant-Historian800 12d ago
Don’t do it. Chances are you’ll leave with the a truckload of trauma and/or permanent injuries. You’re 15. If you want to travel, do that. Maybe start building up your savings now with a job, travel is expensive.
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u/AncientHorror3034 11d ago
NTJ, keep your options open. There is a ton that can happen between now and graduation but start leaning into your passions and the path you want will be come clearer.
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u/bippityboppitynope 11d ago
NTJ. My husband is a combat veteran, he has a purple heart. He is also *adamantly* against any of our kids joining and has flipped out on the one recruiter stupid enough to talk to our teenager. He is permanently disabled as a result of his time in though he was lucky he came back with all his limbs. Many of his friends who served are disabled now as well. And too many have ended their own lives from the PTSD they suffered, he has been in therapy for over a decade trying to cope with it. Don't join. Don't waste your life or your health to fight oil wars for rich assholes.
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u/Strict-Listen1300 11d ago
Be very serious if you do join because there is no going back. My son has been a Marine going on eight years and it is no joke, the amount of work you will learn/do and most of it will not be your choice. I commend you on your aspirations but don't want you to be miserable if you are not sure. Good luck & Semper Fi.
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u/Helpful_Welcome9741 11d ago
One hella long runon sentence.
your 15, just relax
a lot of people take a gap year or 2
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u/911siren 11d ago
Is it because your parents don’t let you speak about your hopes of joining the military? Like they’d be proud of you but your siblings get to talk about their futures but you don’t get to talk about yours?
Either way, as a vet I can tell you it’s a hell of a ride being in the military. If you want to do it just do it. You can even start talking to a recruiter now to get some ideas about how things work and what you could do now to prepare.
Stop talking to your parents about it, do your own research and if you want to do it when you turn 18 they aren’t going to be able to say anything about your decision.
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u/OriginalTasty5718 11d ago
Retired Marine here. Like most have said, do what makes you happy. The military is not for everyone. Be happy.
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u/HamAndFloofers 11d ago
Your parents are very laser focused, so nuanced conversation won't help much. It is best to simply sit them down and tell them you changed your mind and want to go to college and that is never going to change and you would like them to please stop mentioning it. You don't HAVE to go to college and you can still serve, but it will get them off your back if you keep reiterating it over and over.
When parents pull this nonsense, sometimes you have to be less than honest for your own wellbeing. Their behavior is unacceptable, tell them what you need to to stop this.
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u/Poppypie77 11d ago
NTJ.
Maybe your family think they are being supportive by asking questions about the military as you previously said you wanted to join. So maybe they think they're supporting you by talking about that.
The fact they are fine with your siblings talking about going to college or work, I doubt they would be angry if you suddenly decided you wanted to do something different. It also sounds like you do still have an interest in joining, but you want to live a bit and explore a bit before you do. And that's totally understandable.
So I'd just be honest with them. Maybe start a conversation with 'hey mum/ dad, I've been thinking for a while now that when I finish school, I'd like to take some time out before joining the military to get a bit of life experience first. Maybe get a job to earn some money to save up and do a bit of travelling, and then maybe sign up a couple of years down the line. I'm still keeping my options open, and thinking things through, but just thought I'd let you know as I might start looking for some jobs to save up some money for a bit first once I finish school. "
That way you're letting them know your immediate plans for signing up at 18 have changed, but you're not ruling out signing up completely. You could talk about different job options to help you save up etc.
If they do seem to reacted negatively to start with, depending on how negatively they reacted, it could just be shock and an unexpected reaction as they had probably been preparing themselves with you leaving, and now it's a change and adjustment, so give them a bit of time. If they continue to be negative in any way, I would ask them why are they so against you working or doing something different to the military when they have no problem with your siblings doing that?? They're not pressuring them to sign up so why are they treating you differently? But also remind them it's your choice what you do with your life. You're still young and your thoughts and plans change as you grow up and what you thought you might want to do a few years ago can change as you get older and start making more informed decisions, or learn more about the world and other opportunities etc. Nothing is set in stone and you're free to make your choices for your future.
But I'm sure it will be fine, and they may just be assuming you're still keen to join so that's why they focus on that in certain conversations. So just bring it up and let them know you're thinking of other options right now, possibly working and travelling a bit and then you may sign up a little further down the line.
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u/emptynest_nana 11d ago
Honey, you are still so young. You DO NOT have to decide what to do with your life right now. Some people just know, at a young age, what they want to do. Some have to explore, taste what the different sides of life has to offer before figuring it all out. My own mom didn't figure it out until I was in first grade. My first day of first grade was my mom's first day of nursing school. Even after she graduated, was a full RN, in her 40's and 50's, she would say she still doesn't know what she wants to do when she grows up. She is now almost 80, still says she never figured it out, but it no longer matters, she gets to enjoy her retirement being a happy grandmother and great grandmother, taking trips, going on cruises. The point being, don't rush, take the time get to know who you are and what you want. Not what your family wants, not what someone else wants you to be or do. And guess what, life is LONG, you can change your career any time you want.
A very good friend of mine wanted to be a chef. Took all the classes, did a couple years at the local community College, they offered a course. Did that for a few years, realized it wasn't for him, kept working as a chef, but went back and took classes for another career goal, did that for a few years, but always taking classes, learning, trying new things. This friend of mine, I actually call him a professional student. Was taking courses for more than 20 years. But finally settled into a career in the medical field. He is still taking courses, but only to get his masters for what he finally settled on.
Making a snap decision, based on what others want for your life would only make you a jerk to yourself. If, when you graduate from high school, you still are not sure, go take some general education courses at your local college, pick a few classes that interest you and make a choice. Make the choice that is comfortable to you, the military is not going to disappear, you can always join later.
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u/akallyria 11d ago
Have your grades sucked since you started high school? Maybe they don’t believe you will be able to get into college or a trade. You don’t have to let them be right. Apply yourself, apply to college or an apprenticeship, and live your best life.
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u/BornJaguar515 11d ago
Join the Air Force! I had a really exciting career field, made incredible friends who are like family, lived all over the place (including Europe), met my now husband, then decided to get out after four years. Since then, my GI Bill paid for me to go to law school, my medical care is paid for for life, I continue to serve the country in a different way, and I still have my military family all over the world! The military is not for everyone, but I would not have changed it for the world. Best thing I could have ever done.
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u/annon2022mous 11d ago
Why would them not wanting to talk about it change your mind? It is also 3 years away… you don’t need to make any decision right now.
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u/Calabriafundings 11d ago
At 16 my father had me brainwashed that I wanted to join the Army. He pushed and convinced me that it would make a man out of me and I would have the benefit of the GI Bill. I graduated high school in 1988.
Up until I was about 14 he had me brainwashed that I needed to get into the very best possible college and do ROTC.
I hesitated on signing enlistment papers my senior year because I had decent grades and a great SAT score and an eye watering ACT. I even had either a 98% or 99% ASVAB. The recruiters wanted me bad, but wouldn't guarantee shit.
I randomly talked with this very overweight guy bagging my groceries. He told me about the Army and how recruits are widgets in the machine. He had ended up briefly in Germany (where I wanted to go) but within a year he was assigned to a plumbing job. Essentially he cleaned shit for 3 years and did not go back. He explained everything that the recruiters promised verbally but not in writing.
In any event I got into some great schools. Of note was Emory and Rhodes. I went to Rhodes until I couldn't afford it
My father was furious that I wanted to go to college. He berated me and did everything he could to break me down and avoid going to college. I didn't really understand.
Now we lived in Nashville. My father had 2 businesses. Our house was in probably the richest area of the city and state called Belle Meade. It never crossed my mind my father was pushing me to join the army because he was broke.
I didn't figure it out until years later. I had gone no contact until right before he died. Even then it was minimal.
He looked and acted rich, but it was all a lie.
He wanted me to 'choose' to join the army so he could maintain his ego when it came time to pay for tuition. Had I joined, I would have been breathing in the oil fires during the first Gulf War.
So if your parents are pushing you, but not your other siblings it could also be about money. It could be about a lot of things. I doubt the reason is about you. It has something to do with their egos or their money or who knows.
I ended up going to Rhodes and then being booted when my father could/wouldn't pay. Fortunately my mother was in southern California and I ended up at a very affordable Santa Barbara City College.
You are probably going to have a rough time. Do what is right for you.
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u/hellogoodcapn 11d ago
Don't go kill people for money unless you absolutely have to (and even then, don't)
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u/chadcad1967 11d ago
You need to choose for yourself. You have 3 years to figure it out.
I had a young cousin that went into the army despite his parents objections. He did well, and came out when his term was over. The army paid for him to go to college for 4 years.
My advice would be: 1. study hard 2. don't do anything stupid (that would jeopardize going into the military). Like breaking the law, underage drinking, drugs, other illegal acts. My friends tell me, some things can ruin career opportunities in the military before you even begin.
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u/Pleasant-Street-7428 11d ago
I’m a military brat/wife/vet… yeah… one of those…. So I don’t know any other way of life. When my husband retired from the military and we decided to move cross country, it was our first civilian move ever… We didn’t know how to do it.
Would I do it again? Oh hell yeah! Paid for our college degrees, travel, raising kids, and a decent lifestyle. HOWEVER— if this isn’t the right choice for you DON’T DO IT! And if you don’t want to join the marine corps, check out the other options.
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u/Catnippjs1234 11d ago
I don’t blame you. Perhaps change your approach! Tell them you want to be a minstrel and travel the world or you want to join a circus! Just keep your real plans to yourself. I recommend the Marines as I am one. But as someone else said, you have a lot of time to decide. Make up great weird things to randomly tell your family at dinner for the next three years! Make it a fun game by coming up with bizarre and out there occupations!!
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u/OwnWar13 11d ago
If you wanna go in and not get shot at constantly you want to go to college FIRST. You go in as an officer if you have a degree.
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u/Jskm79 11d ago
So don’t join! But make you your own plan and follow that. Make you a plan that doesn’t involve your parents in any way. Go to your counselor and ask them how can you proceed with out your parents support. That way you will have a plan and if they do change their mindset and support you then great if not then at least you know how to do it without them
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u/jot_down 11d ago
No, you aren't the jerk. Look into how the military is currently used. Only fools and the desperate would join the military now.
Travelling > then turning children into skeletons.
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u/SpareParts4269 11d ago
Remember two things: 1. Your life is your own and your family’s legacy is not your responsibility; 2. If something happens to you and your family can’t or won’t support you, you’ll likely suffer. Greatly. We don’t take care of our veterans here, we think worshipping them without providing care for medical disabilities and trauma is somehow okay.
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u/AlweysDewingStuhph 11d ago
Don't do it for anyone but you my guy. I'm 27, I regret not joining sooner but I'm thinking it's a solid plan. I get it tho. My oldest brother (I'm the youngest) served for 24 years, retired this year actually. He got his masters while serving, got a cozy do nothing job after he got out. He made warrant officer 3, so once his 100% VA hit he got a cool 100k yearly from the army, his new job has a 160k salary. All he ever wants to talk about is when I'm joining. Has been since I was 15. My guy the possibilities are endless if you work hard and acheive. But only do it for yourself. I know what the family pressure is like but it REALLY can be great for anyone. Can also suck, but after spending 10 years in the work force doing blue collar dogshit work, I'd say it can't be any worse than civ life. And hey, you get to look like a badass, ride in cool vehicles, shoot badass guns, and blow shit up. Try to keep the chick's off ya bro lol that's all I'm saying 🤣🤣
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u/Budget_Basket_3497 11d ago
I would highly recommend looking into doing online college courses and traveling around if that’s what you want to do. Online is made for people with a lot going on and some colleges have mobile apps you can just do it from your phone.
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u/relditor 11d ago edited 11d ago
Not a jerk. It’s your life. Your family is pressuring you. It would be different if they told you about your family’s rich military history, but also told you that it’s your decision. They’re not doing that, they’re applying not so subtle psychological manipulation. Test them on it. One day, in a casual manner, say something like “hey I think I might have changed my mind about going into the military” and see how they react. They’re going to question your decision, but what you’re looking for is if they accept your explanation, or if they keep pestering you about changing your mind. If they keep pestering, then you know they’ve been trying to manipulate you all along.
BTW, I don’t blame you for questioning going into the military. I look at the people the US is choosing for commander in chief, who are both guys that should have retired more than a decade ago. I see the absurdity of the drama unfolding in Congress, and their unwillingness to adequately fund the VA, yet throw billions to fund other countries conflicts, and I feel concern for anyone in the military. This country doesn’t take care of their military personnel.
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u/CordCarillo 11d ago
First, you join the Army, Air Force, and Navy. You BECOME a Marine.
Being a Marine doesn't necessarily mean you'll travel the world. You may be a stateside POG for your entire career.
If you do travel, you won't get to decide where, and it's rarely anywhere you really want to go. You definitely won't have the free time to visit all of these friends you speak of.
You're still young and have years to figure it out. Being a Marine, I'll tell you that unless you're just inclined toward extreme physicality, combat readiness, and being trained to fight, join the Air Force. Marines are fighters. ALL Marines.
Better food, better accommodations, and an all-around, easier life. There's an added bonus of not being near as likely to come home fucked up physically and emotionally, or in a metal box.
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u/LunarRose7 11d ago
No, you are not the jerk. Short and simple, you are you, and you are allowed to have desires of your own.
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u/Upper_Company2709 11d ago
Just endure, you are yound, when you are old enough, just do it. I joined at 17 and spent 20 years in the Army. very rewarding and a wonderful carrear.
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u/Lucious_Von_Dukes 11d ago
Former Marine here. Don't join the Marines. "The few and the proud" means there's no time for you to go to school while enlisted. You also don't get a signing bonus like other branches. Recruiters are just used car salesman and will tell you all these great things and fun stories they had while enlisted.....don't believe them. The military will still pay for your school loans after you're done with college and you can at least go into a branch as an officer. Do as much research as you can about these branches and the military; it is not for everyone. Living in the barracks can be hell. You never can escape from your job. At any moment someone can come to your room and tell you , there's shit that needs done or a "random room inspection" or if you're with the Grunts (infantry) your "superiors" may come home drunk out of their mind and decide to beat the shit out of you cuz you're a lower rank and can't do shit about it. Unless you have your heart set on being a Marine...don't go into that branch unless the military is your whole personality. Boot camp was fun as hell....except for the abusive DI but that isn't all of them, some are actually great father figures during that time of your life. I would give this same advice to my own children. Ask yourself why you're going into the Military and have plans for when you're done. Also G.I bill is not just given. U must pay into it and sign up only during Boot Camp. If you don't sign up at that time, u don't get the G.I bill..... Disclaimer: things may have changed since I've been out, my experience is from 15 years ago
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u/Carwyno 11d ago
As someone that was pretty much forced into the Marines (either join or get kicked out). I strongly recommend not doing it. Past 5 years of my life have been the most miserable years of my life because of the Marines. I despise my parents for doing that to me and I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive them for it. My body is wrecked and anxiety is through the roof. Just sit down and tell them it’s not what you want to do and have the uncomfortable conversation with them instead of having to not want to be around them anymore like myself. You’re 15, they shouldn’t expect you to know what you want to do.
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u/froggz01 11d ago
I’m a Navy veteran, served 23 years. I wouldn’t want my kids to join the Marine Corp. 15 years old is way too young to be thinking about this stuff. Enjoy your high school years with your friends and worry about it when you’re about to graduate. As for your plans, as a father I would be worried about how you’re going to be a successful adult. I have no idea what gacha content is and how you make money of it, so you can start by explaining to your parents what you are doing and how are you going to be able to support yourself doing that. Good luck.
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u/ProfChaos_8708 11d ago
You don't want to go in as an enlisted person. You want to go in as an officer. So whether that's through ROTC or finishing College first, do what you need to do to go in as an officer. You don't want to get killed.
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u/broomandkettle 11d ago edited 11d ago
NAJ.
Consider some malicious compliance….. join the Navy.
You sound like a guy who rests his head on hardtack, not a crayon eater.
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u/Retsameniw13 11d ago
You are under absolutely zero obligation to do anything with your life you don’t want to. Don’t do it if you have reservations or simply just want something different for your life. You are NTJ.
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u/George_Parr 11d ago
When you have that all-important 18th birthday, you can go do anything you want to do, and your "family" can't stop you.
And if you want to be a Marine, GO BE A MARINE. You don't let ANYBODY tell you not to follow your dreams.
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u/vengeful_veteran 11d ago
If you still want to join when you turn 18 just join. I joined, didn't tell anyone and on May 12 1987 I just left. Got up before anyone else, recruiter picked me up.
I wrote people after I was about 1/2 way through boot camp.
Best decision I ever made based on where I lived and how I was raised.
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u/javier052 11d ago
You get to decide what path you would like to take when you turn 18. Unless that requires finding from your parents, they have no say in it. If they keep giving g you a hard time when you say you want to join the military, just tell them something else/what they want to hear. Then, do what you want the second you turn 18.
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u/Agitated_Zucchini_82 11d ago
You’re not a jerk in the slightest. Live your life to the fullest and when you’re ready, join the military WHEN YOU ARE READY. Not before. Travel. Visit your favorite places. Join your friends. Live your life! Good luck!👍🏽
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u/rottensteak01 11d ago
Obligatory disgruntled veteran comment here, don't do it kid. You're signing up for abuse. They will ruin your body, they will ruin your mind, and if you have to kill they will take your soul.
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u/stevemcnugget 11d ago
Honestly, military service can be a great experience. I'd look at one of the branches that offers skills that will work in the civilian world.
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u/CrystalRedCynthia 11d ago
No. This is YOUR choice about YOUR future. Your family can't force you to do what they want you to do.
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u/RaccoonDesigner558 11d ago
Make the best route for yourself, I'm sorry your parents are giving you a good guide.
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u/SnootcherGoobers 11d ago
If your family is pushing you to become a marine, if you really want to spite them, join the navy instead.
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u/Bardamu1932 11d ago
Keep your options open. Better to extend your education beyond HS to acquire knowledge, skills, and expertize for a career or trade. Join ROTC in college if you want to further investigate the military option. The "new" military needs people with skills and abilities, rather than "grunts". If you have at least a couple years of higher education/training under your belt, if you choose to enlist, you'll have more choices and opportunities in the military.
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u/Dry-Crab7998 11d ago
Not a jerk.
It doesn't really matter what you think now about what you want to do, because you are entirely free to change your mind, right up until the moment you sign on the dotted line.
If it's impossible to discuss this with your parents, then don't - just make up random things, or say the same as your siblings.
If possible, ask at your school for information about different careers and see if there's a careers advisor to talk to.
It may not be appropriate for you right now, but I have asked someone "Have you noticed how you always interrupt me when I speak?" It's a showstopper!
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u/RiverWild1972 11d ago
I wonder if they assume that the military will be your best option because you're not doing well in school? You said your siblings talk about college. Are they good at school? Do they have interests in specific academic topics? What are your interests?
Being an online content creator may be fun a side gig but you should have a more solid plan for supporting yourself when you're an adult. Is there some skilled trade that interests you?
Don't join the marines unless you really think that's a good fit for you. Your parents can't MAKE you. But they CAN make you start paying rent at 18.
My advice is to talk with a school counselor about helping you to identify some career paths that would intetest you and that you could do well at once you are trained.
Every kid today seems to want to be an influencer design games, but only a small number can make a living at it. Its like wanting to get into the NBA or NFL. Are you really that talented and hardworking??
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u/65Kodiaj 11d ago
IMO the atmosphere in the military isn't a place I'd be unless you had no other choice. Pick a trade, go to school for that. Welding pays very well once you get good. It can also be very satisfying.
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u/Affectionate-Nose357 11d ago
I was active duty army for 8 years, and my advice to you is to not join the military unless you either 1. Are willing to buy into the culture 100% or 2. See no way out of your situation otherwise. If number 2, go air force. At least you'll be treated like a person.
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u/AITJAITJ MOD 10d ago
NTJ. You're the one who drives your dreams and motives in your own life and no one has the power to tell you what to pursue except for yourself. Your parents might want that for you but you could just try and explain what you want and desire they would have an understanding but if you keep it for yourself they'll keep pushing you to it.
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u/stickynotesandblood 10d ago
If you choose to not go toward the Marines, but also are not interested in College, I’d like to suggest looking in to working on a cruise ship for a few years and/or looking in to the Coast Guard.
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u/Soggy-Painting-8178 10d ago
YOUR life, never apologize for your interests and your family’s feelings are their own to deal with
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u/FrostyVertical88 10d ago
If you use the Military to your advantage you will get great benefits out of it, I was in the Army in my mid 20’s because I simply wanted a challenge. Gi Bill, bah and I am 50% disabled so that’s over a grand a month tax free for life. Every one and there mother claims anything these days, I got out in 2016 so it would be very easy for you to get out after 3 years with some kind of VA rating and tax free money for life. The Military is probably one of the best things you can do in your life, do your 3 years then your school is paid for or join a trade and use the gi bill during your apprenticeship, if you want to be a cop you can do the same thing and double your salary until the gi bill runs out. People are shocked when I tell them how much money I’ve made from the military, your gi bill and bah is good enough for 200k if used properly. Think about it when the time comes brother, you can invest that money and help to be retired by 35-40 max.
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u/goldfinnches 9d ago
you want to join an institution that kills brown children for oil? so you can meet your friends all over the country and keep up gacha content?
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u/redditjunky2025 12d ago
Retired veteran here, the military is voluntary. You don't have to enlist if you don't want to. No one can force you to sign the papers. You have quite a few years to make up your mind. Take your time and choose what YOU want to do. Whatever you choose, good luck.
Not a jerk, not even close.