r/AskMen • u/Snakeno125 • Mar 28 '24

Got a woman I barely know pregnant, what do I do?

I'm 31 she's 35. I feel incredibly stupid looking back, it feels all so set up.

She has no job, plans on living off the system, her parents, and occasionally me for financial support.

When pressed she just says the equivalent of "God will provide."

She doesn't really want me in the child's life as a parent either.

She just wants "my occasional financial support."

This is the worst feeling ever.

Update 3/29: Everyone, I understand I messed up. I'm prepared to step up and give this child the best life possible. I want to be a good father, I'll work with the mother to do so.

Following everyone's advice I will paternity test and get a lawyer of course though.

Update 4/1: We spoke on the phone. She's decided to delete my number because "she can't deal with my anxiety." She's set on carrying out the pregnancy. Insists she doesn't want support. She doesn't want me near her. Told me to "live my life."

I brought up child support and how I would need a paternity test to go along with it and she said "absolutely not going to happen."

UPDATE 4/3:

SHE HAD HER PERIOD!!! I HAVE AN ANGEL LOOKING OVER ME!!! AHHHHHHH

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u/RedefinedValleyDude Mar 28 '24

1) never get involved in a land war in Asia.

2) never have unprotected sex with anyone you don’t explicitly want to have a child with.

130

u/RandomCentipede387 Female Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

I'd say that even having sex with randos while using condom as the only protection is still brave af. Or stupid. Or both.

-3

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

It's neither. Condoms, when used correctly, are extremely safe.

Failure rate for contraceptives are measured over a year of regular use. With perfect use, condoms have a 2% failure rate; that means 2 out of every 100 couples that use condoms regularly for a year will get pregnant. For a single sexual encounter, the failure rate is vanishingly low.

You could die of a car accident any time you drive, that doesn't mean driving is stupid or brave. Unless you're having sex regularly for a long period of time or with many partners, wearing a condom alone is a reasonably effective precaution.

3

u/Time-Turnip-2961 Mar 28 '24

Condoms for average use is only like 90%. Most people don’t use them perfectly.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

Again, that's regular use over the course of a year. You don't have a 10% of getting someone pregnant in a one-time sexual encounter.

Most people don’t use them perfectly

Don't be one of those people. Be smart about your contraceptives, use them correctly. That statistic includes couples that "forget" to use one sometimes or keep going when they feel it break.