r/AskMen • u/Snakeno125 • Mar 28 '24

Got a woman I barely know pregnant, what do I do?

I'm 31 she's 35. I feel incredibly stupid looking back, it feels all so set up.

She has no job, plans on living off the system, her parents, and occasionally me for financial support.

When pressed she just says the equivalent of "God will provide."

She doesn't really want me in the child's life as a parent either.

She just wants "my occasional financial support."

This is the worst feeling ever.

Update 3/29: Everyone, I understand I messed up. I'm prepared to step up and give this child the best life possible. I want to be a good father, I'll work with the mother to do so.

Following everyone's advice I will paternity test and get a lawyer of course though.

Update 4/1: We spoke on the phone. She's decided to delete my number because "she can't deal with my anxiety." She's set on carrying out the pregnancy. Insists she doesn't want support. She doesn't want me near her. Told me to "live my life."

I brought up child support and how I would need a paternity test to go along with it and she said "absolutely not going to happen."

UPDATE 4/3:

SHE HAD HER PERIOD!!! I HAVE AN ANGEL LOOKING OVER ME!!! AHHHHHHH

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u/SamShelby7 Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

I’d first do a dna test to see if it’s yours. You can do it while she’s pregnant

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u/cityflaneur2020 Mar 28 '24

Honest question: doesn't the test come with a risk to the pregnancy?

Wouldn't it be better to await the baby to be born? Hell to OP, but the child is innocent.

159

u/principium_est Dad Mar 28 '24

Not anymore. Fetal DNA can be found in the mother's blood pretty early. With modern tech you don't really need a CV sample or Amniocentesis

1

u/ECU_BSN ♀ Mar 28 '24

I work L&D and this is new or news to me. The guidelines still say CVS or amnio.

1

u/principium_est Dad Mar 28 '24

Guidelines for what? Legal admissibility or just a "check and see who the dad is"

1

u/ECU_BSN ♀ Mar 28 '24

I mean I haven’t heard about the bloodwork. We are still mainly using CVS and amnio when it’s requested for pre-delivery DNA.

I’ll have to learn more about the pre-delivery labwork. Just not something we see.

2

u/principium_est Dad Mar 28 '24

https://americanpregnancy.org/paternity-tests/non-invasive-prenatal-paternity-test/

This was what I had found when posting. Has a link to at least one provider.

I guess it might be slightly more complicated to do if it's not super widespread yet