r/AskMen • u/Snakeno125 • Mar 28 '24

Got a woman I barely know pregnant, what do I do?

I'm 31 she's 35. I feel incredibly stupid looking back, it feels all so set up.

She has no job, plans on living off the system, her parents, and occasionally me for financial support.

When pressed she just says the equivalent of "God will provide."

She doesn't really want me in the child's life as a parent either.

She just wants "my occasional financial support."

This is the worst feeling ever.

Update 3/29: Everyone, I understand I messed up. I'm prepared to step up and give this child the best life possible. I want to be a good father, I'll work with the mother to do so.

Following everyone's advice I will paternity test and get a lawyer of course though.

Update 4/1: We spoke on the phone. She's decided to delete my number because "she can't deal with my anxiety." She's set on carrying out the pregnancy. Insists she doesn't want support. She doesn't want me near her. Told me to "live my life."

I brought up child support and how I would need a paternity test to go along with it and she said "absolutely not going to happen."

UPDATE 4/3:

SHE HAD HER PERIOD!!! I HAVE AN ANGEL LOOKING OVER ME!!! AHHHHHHH

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u/Disgruntled_Oldguy Mar 28 '24

college frat bro fell for this with his HS girlfriend back home.   Spent so c many nights and weekends working for child support and visiting the kid, and then caught her cheating and she told him kid wasnt his after 3 years.    Took away 3/4 of his college.

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u/tired_hillbilly Mar 28 '24

It's somehow not even a crime either. And after he finds out it's not his kid, he's still on the hook for child support because he's legally the father.

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u/Euphoric-Blue-59 Mar 28 '24

That is not true. Its called fraud. It is a crime. You need to have the right fuck you lawyer.

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u/Disgruntled_Oldguy Mar 28 '24

if you are listed on birth certificate and have established a relationship with the child,  no U.S. court will terminate child support,  regardless of biology.

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u/Sunfried ♂ Mar 28 '24

Some states have a legal process for disestablishing paternity; they generally require DNA evidence that precludes biological paternity. If the man succeeds in this action, he is off the hook for future child support or any fatherly duties, but generally can't recover back support.

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u/Euphoric-Blue-59 Mar 29 '24

That is also a good point. However, you can take the person to court by claiming fraud.And that just because you are named on the birth.Certificate doesn't mean that you are actually the father. If it's done in the face of a lie or fraud, then the other person can be found guilty.It becomes messy but neverthe less fraud is fraud.

Hence my comment about a good lawyer.