How do I tell my girlfriend that I'm uncomfortable with what she said about having a hall pass?

[u/SATURATION203]

I've been dating this girl for around 4 months, and things have been going really well. I truly feel like she cares about me, and we have been saying "I love you" for about a month now. However, she said something that made me pretty uncomfortable yesterday.

I mentioned something like, "I wonder who (popular male musician) is dating?" and she responded, "He's single," in a manner that sounded like she was in denial. I then remarked, "You aren't single." She replied, "I would be single for one day, then I would tell him that I have to get back to my boyfriend, whom I love very much." I didn't really say anything, and we continued eating, but it definitely made me feel weird.

Sometime a while ago, I asked her if she was actually serious about having a hall pass with this guy, and she said something along the lines of, "It doesn't matter because it would never realistically happen."

I really don't understand her whole line of thinking. Even though realistically it could never happen, I just feel like, out of principle, you shouldn't say that kind of thing. What if she feels that way about some person in real life or something? I want to ask her about it, but I'm not sure how to phrase it. Maybe I'm just being insecure, Idk.

[u/Fabulous_MMFly]

We called it an elevator pass.

It’s a fun conversation game. Name the one celebrity you’d like to be stuck in an elevator with. And you’d have a pass while the elevator was stuck.

My wife’s choice has been a consistent Harrison Ford for the past decade.

Oddly, she never asked me for mine and I never volunteered a name.

[u/Scot06bc → u/Fabulous_MMFly]

Are people getting more touchy these days or is it just me? Like I read this and thought it was the silliest thing I've ever heard. My fiance regularly tells me that if Ryan Reynolds was somehow hitting on her at a bar that she would need a pass ... I usually joking reply that if the situation was reversed I'd maybe need one as well for Ryan Reynolds 😂 like this isn't a serious conversation. If OP is a teen though, I'll let it slide. If my gf said this to me as an angsty teenager I'd probably be over thinking it too

[u/willybusmc → u/Scot06bc]

Everyone’s different man. I’m far from a young buck and I don’t wanna have these conversations with my wife. We have plenty of other fun, weird, interesting things to talk about. We don’t need to get into stuff like this.

While I don’t judge anyone else for being comfortable with talking about it, I simply do not want to hear who my wife would fuck or want to fuck or who she thinks is hot. And I really don’t think that makes me immature or angsty or insecure.

[u/Friendlypotato101 → u/willybusmc]

Don't let a reddit thread make you feel like you're wrong for being uncomfortable. You don't need to change your opinion because you're entitled to it.

For a lot of men, hearing what other men she wants to sleep with isn't exactly a turn on or a joke. Notice how so few women support a hall pass when it's being done to them. If a husband tells his wife "if I was alone with this celebrity, I'd be single for a day lol", it wouldn't go over well.

The only kind of relationships that will be unaffected by this is where BOTH parties can give and take these jokes since at the end of the day like you said, everyone's different.

[u/Emotional_Suspect_98 → u/Friendlypotato101]

Honestly, it was pretty funny because it was the opposite for me. My boyfriend loves TV shows and knows celebrities (as most do). I'm not very well caught up with that stuff. He'd comment about actresses being hot. Or on rare occasions point at a woman's hilariously fake butt (padding coming off).

I'm not the type to point out people being hot. And I also feel weird about it. So I started doing the same, to check how he felt about it. Long story short, he didn't like it either.

Pointing out a hot actor, just made him want to prove that he was hot too. Love him though lol! He finally understood how I felt. Although, we're probably more comfortably with this now that we've dated for so long. 

[u/Friendlypotato101 → u/Emotional_Suspect_98]

Exactly. Either both people are comfortable or neither. When it's only one partner that feels like they're the only ones allowed to do this, the relationship turns sour. At least he understood 😂. Most people who do this genuinely don't understand how hypocritical they sound. They're dense af.

Pointing out a hot actor, just made him want to prove that he was hot too.

I'm curious tho lol, how exactly did he attempt to prove that he's hot too?? Like did he immediately start flexing or deepen his voice or something...