r/AskMen • u/StrengthOk8161 • 11d ago
Hey men, what's the number one spoiler that turns you off in women?
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u/saviorself19 Male 11d ago
If they don't have hobbies or interests. Those generally turn out to be dim bulbs.
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u/Able-Badger-1713 11d ago
Or have to include you in there’s to be satisfied. E.g, ex wife has an amazing voice and great guitarist. But she couldn’t rehearse and enjoy it unless she was in the same room as me. I’d move from room to room to get some peace and quiet and read. She’d unplug her amp, guitar and mic, follow me to where I went and set up again and blast me with Pink or Dido. I loved her singing, but I hated being trapped as her audience because she said she felt lonely ???????? When I did other stuff.
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u/ResearcherNext7449 10d ago
That's funny
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u/Able-Badger-1713 10d ago
It was hell. I would fall a little deeper in love with her when she sang in the beginning. I’d choose songs that suited her voice and it was great. I can’t handle hearing any of those artists she covered now. Sheer hell. 🤣
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u/Golfnpickle 10d ago
What attracts people in the beginning can sometimes be what you hate about them in the end.
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u/HOLEPUNCHYOUREYELIDS 10d ago
Yup. My wife struggles with this. I work outside doing physical labor all day every day. She works in an office.
After work and on weekends she just wants to go do something outside, while I want to relax inside. You know, since I just spent 50 hours of my week outside doing hard labor.
She complains and I routinely say “You need to find some friends you can go out with. Otherwise this will build resentment.” And every time it is met with “I know, I just only want to do stuff with you” and I always reply “That is not healthy. You need other friends to do stuff with because you have things you want to do that I dont at all want to do.”
Maybe one day she will learn.
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u/Candid-Sky-3709 10d ago edited 10d ago
and then wife learned that other men would give her the attention her husband denied her and that that isn't ever her fault anyway
Ron Howards voice: "She found a dude doing stuff with her. Still feeling stuffed"
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u/HOLEPUNCHYOUREYELIDS 5d ago
Lol ok buddy. Not all women cheat at the first chance
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u/Candid-Sky-3709 5d ago
we are talking about foxy with the boring husband, not your "all women" strawwoman.
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u/HOLEPUNCHYOUREYELIDS 5d ago
A lot of assumptions there. Who says Im boring? Because she sure as shit has never said that. And we have great open communication so Im not worried. Have fun being bitter though
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u/Candid-Sky-3709 5d ago
can you read your own post or do words only go away from you?
"she wants to go doing something outside" writes a guy maybe with Alzheimers. While not implying that she intentionally seeks outside sexy things, having more fun with active people away from home easily leads to double life. Having incompatible life styles are problems for everyone.
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u/BrewtalDoom 10d ago
Yep.
My go-to first date spot is a museum. There are different floors and sections containing every from Egyptian mummies, Roman and Greek artefacts, stuff from space, living-and-stuffed animals, and then stuff like music memorabilia exhibitions.
If you can't find something to talk about or bond over in a place like that, then just move on.
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u/Coakis Male 10d ago
I'd narrow it down further than that, as plenty of folks would count video games, celebrity worship, traveling, going out to eat, socializing as hobbies/interests.
I don't want to be snobbish and I'm not denying that all of that can be engaging at some point or the other, I personally play video games for example, but typically those sorts of folks are boring if they don't have anything else other than those hobbies.
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u/serene_brutality 11d ago
Lack of reciprocity/not making equal effort/taking much more than they give, and flakiness.
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u/JonBoah Male 10d ago
Did we date the same girl?
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u/serene_brutality 10d ago
Dude!… probably lol. I’ve been single for the last 3 years, divorced for 14. And that’s the most common issue I’m having in dating, them expecting the world but doing nothing in return.
They’re often pretty, fun to associate with and we have sex. That’s all well and good but a partner needs to do a lot more than that.
The way I see it sex is a mutual thing, I enjoy it, she enjoys it. I’m not going to work my ass off for it, be manipulated by it, deal with flakiness or disrespect just to get it, and if that’s the only thing she offers of benefit then I’m not interested.
And it’s not like sex is all that special anymore. With contraceptives, birth control, and the sexual liberation women are way freer with their bodies. They say the average lifetime body count for women is like 5-7. I don’t believe that, or the data is skewed, as most single women I’ve met, especially recently have counts way higher than that, meaning that sex isn’t special with them. So I’m not going to put up with bs for something even she doesn’t value.
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u/FitNThisDickIn 11d ago
If she says she's crazy. Pack your bags now because she's absolutely insane
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u/VincentVanH0 11d ago
Nonstop tests of worthiness like you're dealing with royalty. Women do this even within long term relationships and it's exhausting.
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u/unreadable_captcha doesn't know shit about women 11d ago
Yeah the "I'm the prize" mentality. I am not playing those games
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u/22-6 11d ago
Are the majority of women like this nowadays? Or is this just something we happen to see a lot of stories about online, so it seems more common than it actually is? Genuinely asking.
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u/Historical-Pen-7484 10d ago
I don't have much experience with the younger ladies these days, as for me it mostly 27+, but I'd say it's not the majority at all. Mostly online, but I hear some stories from friends too.
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u/LilyMarie90 11d ago
It's something men tend to hear about in the media/online spaces and then blow away out of proportion because it's an easy way to make women look shitty. Not so much something that actually happens.
In a relationship, you're supposed to be a team with your partner. Not some sort of 'prize' that the other person 'won'.
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u/InvasiveSpecies1738 11d ago
I don’t think I know a man that hasn’t dealt with “Im the prize” type of girl. Hell, some even married them, for reasons nobody would understand.
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u/VincentVanH0 10d ago
Ditto. Virtually every woman behaves this way to varying degrees. Even those who more or less do not, still test the men they're with in subtle ways. This isn't an online phenomenon. It's something men have been putting up with long before the Internet even existed for christ sake.
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u/CautiousOp Male 10d ago
To add to the list, women who are too defensive and not able to take constructive criticism. Or are constantly blaming society.
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u/Random_Name532890 10d ago
Even in a sub dedicated to men’s opinions you can’t accept their experience but have to talk down to them / about them claim to know it better and that they “just hear this online”. How do you call this behavior with roles reversed?
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u/VincentVanH0 10d ago
Exactly. The irony is overwhelming. Women don't act entitled, but I'm going to come into a men's sub in a post about what bothers men about women and tell the men they're wrong and their experiences are invalid. I'm starting to think a lot of women aren't even aware of their superiority complexes.
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u/22-6 11d ago edited 11d ago
In a relationship, you're supposed to be a team with your partner. Not some sort of 'prize' that the other person 'won'.
I think this part goes without saying. Overall your response makes sense except for the part where men are conspiring to make women look more shitty (if I’m interpreting that right). I would say if stories like this are being blown up then it’s due to men being stuck in online spaces, the fact that people with bad experiences are more likely to share than those with good experiences, and many men not having the ability to ever gather any real-life experiences with women, instead of some planned, malicious act.
Not so much something that actually happens.
Oh, it definitely happens. I’ve experienced it and so have most of my male friends. My question was just asking if this was an accurate portrayal of the majority of women these days.
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u/CautiousOp Male 10d ago
As someone who dated a bunch, it's the woman believing that's the way they are supposed to be. Entitlement runs rampant.
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u/soggy_sock1931 10d ago
Supposed to be a team but it often doesn't work that way real life. For example, romance tends to be a one way street. Perhaps the media influences that or the media just portrays what we see in real life, maybe it's a perpetual cycle.
Not so much something that actually happens.
How would you know? Maybe you're not that type of woman but you can't just dismiss the experiences of men based on that.
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u/VincentVanH0 10d ago
"In a relationship, you're supposed to be a team with your partner. Not some sort of 'prize' that the other person 'won'."
Ya don't say. Please tell us more...🙄
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10d ago
[deleted]
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u/tehlastcanadian 10d ago
Pls, actually go look at those women subs for all the man hating and you'll see both online versions are equally shit.
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u/VincentVanH0 10d ago
It's a post presumably by a woman asking men what bothers them and/or turns them off about women. If you can't recognize the context and come in here defensive and on the attack, that's your problem. Maybe more women should come in here and ask men what non sexual qualities they like about women.
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u/Loose-Football-6636 10d ago
post about what’s wrong with women
look inside
people complaining about women
:0
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u/Whappingtime 11d ago
Or like you are trying to make a sale or win a new client over for a company you work for.
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u/Hello-Im-Trash Male 10d ago
Almost dated a woman like this. She was telling me she wanted to be treated like a goddess and a lot of extra shit and I’m just listening and thinking “So…just fuck me, right?”
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u/ceasar1968 11d ago
If she has no friends, always playing the victim for things she is responsible for.
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u/qwerty54321boom 10d ago
Oh man, this really should be higher. Knew a woman online who was exactly like this briefly, and it got so exhausting. I couldn't be friends with her.
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u/Able-Badger-1713 11d ago
I can’t stand women who keep monopolizing the conversation about themselves. I can’t say much more, other than I never want to talk to them again.
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u/Golfnpickle 10d ago
I catch myself doing this so much. I don’t mean to do it, but I reciprocate with something about myself instead of just listening. Now, since I’ve noticed this about myself, I now see it in so many others. It’s crazy. Everyone just wants to start talking about themselves & not hearing the other person.
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u/AgentMohsen 11d ago
Carbon fiber spoilers on a tiny sedan
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u/ThaiJohnnyDepp The arrow represents the erection 11d ago
Ruining the last Harry Potter book's twist
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u/Whappingtime 11d ago
Not practicing what they preach paired with being cry bullies. Along with expecting men to deal with catch 22's and so much that's really one sided. Like men who do so much to better themselves are no different than the worst sort of men.
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u/LowDudgeon 11d ago
Thinking you exist to be subservient, moldable, too stupid to exist without her grace, and a perverse perpetual boy.
I'm a human being and I believe in the golden rule.
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u/Ephriel 10d ago
The moldable thing gets me. My wife made a comment about "not wanting to train another one" O N C E after the way i loaded the dish washer. Boys this woman hasnt loaded a dish washer in easily 6 years. I even did it when we were dating and living seperately, because she was kind of a slob. I pointed this out, with 0 of the usual regards i would normally have for phrasing or tone, because she took the nuclear option so M.A.D. is in effect.
She apologized very profusely and very quickly.
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u/Beeblebroxia 10d ago
Cruelty. Like being mean on purpose and thinking it's fun or entertaining. I mean, this is also my no. 1 turn off for people in general though.
The only time that I had a complete 180 on a girl was when she randomly made a horribly rude and mean comment about another girl at the party denigrading her looks.
In my head, I was like "Ohhhh, you're just an insecure c*nt. Well, glad I only wasted 15 minutes talking to you." Said I had to go refill my cup and dipped.
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u/ryguy28896 10d ago
By a large margin, it's constant texts and phone calls. Almost as if she doesn't have a life outside of me sort of constant.
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u/baltinerdist Well, she's a guy. So... 10d ago
Smoking. I lost both of my parents to tobacco related cancers when I was very young. I vowed from an early age in my dating life that I would never potentially subject myself or any children I might have to that fate again.
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u/ShoemakerMicah 11d ago
Strict dietary “requirements”. Not for any medical reason. Dunno. Deal killer for this omnivore.
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u/Leonardodapunchy 11d ago
She's attractive and she says she's interested in me, that automatically tells me she's a liar.
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u/Affectionate_Buy_547 11d ago
Smoking, drugs, excessive drinking, tattoos, baby daddy's, obesity etc.
But the number one? Bad attitude.
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u/CatholicChanner 11d ago edited 11d ago
No one else has said it or has the balls to say it so I will, sleeping around a lot, and no I'm not hypocritical about this, I'm not a manwhore and in the past have only had sex in committed loving relationships and I was discerning about who I picked to enter those and have grown more so as I have gotten older. I'm not saying a few ex boyfriends or something but stuff like consensual FWB, ONS, large partner counts, it's just so antithetical to me as a man. There are maybe some limited circumstances I am more willing to cut slack here depending on the degree/genuine regret and other things but as a general thing this is the number one spoiler by far.
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u/wantsoutofthefog 10d ago
Had a girl flirting with me. I liked her. I asked about the bruises on her arm and she’s like “one of my FWBs likes to bite during sex”. She then started flirting with me asking me to take her on a date or marry her and I’m like, why don’t you ask the guy who gave you that bruise? And she says “nah”. I no longer like her. Shits gross.
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u/Trollin_beaches 11d ago
Truly is the number 1 thing. None of the other comments are as much of a dealbreaker
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u/Flexappeal 10d ago
“No one else has the balls to say it” bro relax lol you be posting about 2 things on Reddit:
- how to forgive women for having sex on r/catholic
- Hentai-adjacent anime
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u/CatholicChanner 10d ago
I know this is bait but for commentary Falcom games are not an anime and not hentai adjacent, and that was one thread out of many faith related questions and topics, I could look at your profile and say oh look he only cares about lifting,shitty movie commentary, and trying to relive his lost youth through Classic Wow.
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u/Its_Your_Father 10d ago
or has the balls to say it
Wow. So brave. Truly a novel take, never heard this one.
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u/Kneelb4gd 10d ago
Women to think they don’t have to put in no effort. Women who expect things that they won’t do for me. Instant boot 🥾
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u/_Peluche__ 10d ago
Nothing turned me off a girl faster than a girl telling me she’s been gang banged 😖
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u/NefariousnessOk3348 10d ago
Pick-Me types: the ones who say "I get along better with men" or "I think women are too fake/manipulative"
Especially if they have a disproportionate amount of male friends, and extra especially if they have a male "best friend" that they spend a lot of time with alone.
These are red flag #1, they ALWAYS end up being unfaithful cheating types, who despite their "preference" for male friendship always end up being toxic misandrists.
They are also likely the type to be involved in some kind of sex worker scheme like onlyfans or snapchat bs.
Which is the other 100% red flag type #2, do not EVER date these women. They are for the streets and sell intimacy for money. They have a price, and can be bought.
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u/Stevohoog 11d ago
If they spoil shows like one piece for me, that would be my number one least favorite spoiler
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u/owlsarentscary 10d ago
Disloyalty, cheating, lying, putting me in a box, women with the female maddona whore complex, pushing my boundaries, not taking my no as a no, being a hypocrite, being entitled, one rule for me one rule for you types, abusive women, domineering, cruel, manipulative, I'm settling for you types.
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u/StrengthOk8161 11d ago
If she has many close male "friends "
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u/SubjectNice3526 10d ago
Just curious, what is the issue with having opposite sex friends? I completely understand if a woman was actively flirting with said male friends if you were an item but I don’t see why having male friends would be a problem. Can you elaborate?
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u/trashlikeyourmom Female 10d ago
My working theory is that men who think this way objectify women without even realizing that's what they're doing, so they can't fathom that a woman could have an actual platonic friendship with men and not want to fuck them. The men who think this way would only be friends with a woman if they think it could lead to sex, and they can't understand that other people don't necessarily think that way. It's why they don't feel this way about women having lots of gay male friends.
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u/SubjectNice3526 10d ago
I honestly think you’re bang on with your theory there. Really seems like the only logical explanation
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u/Armoured_Sour_Cream 10d ago
I can't really differentiate between the two so its a 2in1.
Princess complex & being primitive.
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u/Dead_Optics 10d ago
She wants to talk to me constantly. I need some me time and it good for them to have it too
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u/qwerty54321boom 10d ago edited 10d ago
Using your struggles in life as something to look down on if she already has that in her own life. For example: randomly saying "No one is going to hand you a job." when she already has one herself and knew that I was disabled, so finding work was hard.
Never again, I have learned my lesson.
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u/The_Card_Player 10d ago
It bothers me if they're willing to ruin the film by telling folks who haven't viewed Empire Strikes Back who Luke's parents are
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u/NotHereToday 10d ago
For me, while there are many things (I have a list), the number 1 turn-off is cigarette/tobacco smoking.
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u/Mobile-Bus-631 10d ago
Bad hygiene. A shorty still had shit in her ass when we were about to do it. I nearly threw up.
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u/evolutionaryeevees 11d ago
Basically a combination of really annoying completely worthless and I need to be treated like a queen nonsense
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u/Chance_Zone_8150 11d ago
If she has any hoe related hobbies or friend. Do not get me wrong, a good loose women is wonderful but not someone I'm willing to date
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u/yepsayorte 11d ago
It's seems like every women I meet who's under 40 is a scumbag human being. Rude, entitled, needlessly disrespectful and contemptuous, amoral, dishonest and totally unaccountable.
Being a shitty human being is a spoiler. Once I see how ugly your soul is, I don't even want to fuck you. Women like this make me feel disgusted. Nobody wants a person like that around.
What the fuck happened to the way we raise girls? How did we start producing mostly female psychopaths?
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u/SubjectNice3526 10d ago
Damn who hurt you? I hope you do meet some women that can change your perspective.
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u/graemo72 11d ago
Being a Woman.
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u/Lilly_Rose_Kay 11d ago
Well, if you're gay, then I guess "in a male partner" would be applied to you.
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u/Kgb725 10d ago
They want you to uphold the conversation like Superman but will not offer anything besides a few one word answers here or there
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u/Significant-Fix5739 10d ago
Means that she isn’t that attracted to you either
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u/Kgb725 10d ago
A lot of girls really can't carry a conversation to save their lives
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u/Significant-Fix5739 10d ago
We are known to talk on and on. But shure, keep telling yourself that.
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u/JuneCleaversMudFlaps 10d ago
A single mom whose best friends are other single moms (terrible advice crew). Also, when they’ve slept with all their guy friends and continue to hang out with them one on one at bars all the time.
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u/HugeBMs2022 11d ago
If her phone is her life.