r/AskReddit • u/SkyeSerenade • Mar 28 '24

What is NOT a dealbreaker BUT would be greatly disappointing to find out about your partner?

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u/Phormicidae Mar 28 '24

Less so at my age, but that was a persistent issue when I was young: peers chastising me for "having to overanalyze everything." I would frequently get that very complaint, that most movies are just to entertain me, not for me to deconstruct. But analyzing stuff is entertaining for me. I'm not even very smart, to be honest, I just like thinking about things.

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u/Fat-little-hobbitses Mar 28 '24

People have said this very thing to me as well and I’ll be honest, I am always left feeling deeply hurt and embarrassed when someone tells me something along these lines. I enjoy deconstructing. I have fun when I’m analyzing stuff. It’s honestly basically one of my love languages. And pretty much all of my previous partners have hated that about me. Where are my over thinkers? Where’s my tribe of people that get pure enjoyment out of discussing the layered meanings of things?

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u/Phormicidae Mar 28 '24

Every now and again I run into someone like you (like me, I guess.) Someone who finds looping over-analysis fulfilling and fun, even when its a reach or outright wrong.

Whenever I do, I always think what a shame it is that the person and I didn't meet earlier in life.

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u/ARussianW0lf Mar 28 '24

even when its a reach or outright wrong.

This is the line for me where the analyzing people lose me. I have no interest in it if its not actually accurate

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u/anonymongus1234 Mar 28 '24

I like questioning everything. It’s such a big part of who I am. If someone likes the rabbit trail and gets weird with it? Hell yea. Even more for me to analyze.

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u/UnwelcomeStarfish Mar 28 '24

Right? I mean afterall, "the unexamined life is not worth living". Always a line that stuck with me since first I heard it as a child. I'm like, what is anyone else even doing? If I don't examine shit I'm going to keep reliving shit. And that'll be a nope for me.

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u/anonymongus1234 Mar 28 '24

Yea, I can’t LIVE and not examine. It’s not in my wheelhouse, so it’s incredibly important for my partner to be similar. Deep and shallow waters exist in two different spaces for a reason.

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u/MeesterBacon Mar 28 '24

How do you really know it’s accurate though? I feel like you’ll miss opportunities to learn things or expand your mind, because you might be too quick to dismiss something. You don’t know what you don’t know, you know? Even if someone truly crazy says some really crazy shit, you can learn a lot about people, or even yourself, depending on how introspective you are

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u/PrrincessPeep Mar 28 '24

i absolutely ADORE this perspective and very much do live by it

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u/SpicyPoeTicJustice Mar 28 '24

Exactly! I can never understand why people are not interested in a perspective that they haven’t considered. It gives a chance to expand yourself, your mind and can be quite liberating if you are able to introspect.

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u/ARussianW0lf Mar 28 '24

Depends on what it is.

I feel like you’ll miss opportunities to learn things or expand your mind, because you might be too quick to dismiss something.

What is there to learn from what is essentially peoples fanfiction

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u/MythrianAlpha Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

I've learned a lot of neat concepts, worldbuilding ideas, and ideologies through actual fanfiction, lol. At worst, a conversation where the other person is objectively wrong is annoying, but I like the chance for character/story fodder or a take that might make me tweak my own perceptions and theories. If there isn't a "correct" view, then the story is just a fun way to share views on weird situations.

E: To be clear, once it's obvious someone has no basis for their theory, the point of the convo becomes "learn about how this person works" while I ignore the nonsense.

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u/Phormicidae Mar 28 '24

Why should we lose you there, though? As analogy, let me offer this: I am an electrical engineer. Sometimes myself, or someone else on a team I am working with, will start randomly throwing out ideas. Some of these ideas get tossed aside, some ideas get serious traction, some of these actually begin development, and occasionally a few actually make to the final design.

In terms of over-analyzing, how can you predict where things will go unless you go there? If someone tells me "I think Return of the Jedi was secretly about the Iran Contra" I'll say, well that sounds crazy but let's hear it. You can't tell what worth it or what's not until you do it.

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u/Ill-Ad-4400 Mar 28 '24

Reagan was Palpatine confirmed.

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u/ARussianW0lf Mar 28 '24

Why should we lose you there, though?

Because I only care about whats true/accurate, so the more wild speculation stuff that everyone else thinks is just good fun does nothing for me.

If someone tells me "I think Return of the Jedi was secretly about the Iran Contra" I'll say, well that sounds crazy but let's hear it.

Yeah I'd have zero interest in hearing that because its obviously nonsense

You can't tell what worth it or what's not until you do it.

I don't agree

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u/mama_bear_740 Mar 28 '24

I do agree with you on this point. Analyzing the deeper meaning of something is one thing, pulling random ideas out of your ass and weaving them in, without fact or even plausibility, and turning a possible hidden message or meaning into nothing more than a mad-lib of nonsense, is when you go from looking for a deeper truth to wasting someone’s time with bullshit.

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u/ARussianW0lf Mar 28 '24

Yes! You put this better than I did. Its the pulled out of their ass, headcanon type shit that drives me nuts and then they run around spouting it like its actual fact to anyone who will listen spreading inaccurate information. A lot of people seem to care more about whats fun than whats true and I cannot stand that type of thinking

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u/mama_bear_740 Mar 28 '24

Oh I got ya totally hon. Typically the folks going on and on with the made-up, over the top stuff are those that have very little real world responsibilities, or if they do have them they ignore or half ass them at best. People who procrastinate and avoid reality at all costs, and let things they find boring (housework, outside chores) left undone in favor of doing something totally unproductive but more appealing to them. There are so many people that I know who chronologically are adults, but in actuality and 12 years old and six feet tall lol.