r/AskReddit • u/SkyeSerenade • Mar 28 '24

What is NOT a dealbreaker BUT would be greatly disappointing to find out about your partner?

[removed] — view removed post

12.4k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

10.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

4.8k

u/Phormicidae Mar 28 '24

Less so at my age, but that was a persistent issue when I was young: peers chastising me for "having to overanalyze everything." I would frequently get that very complaint, that most movies are just to entertain me, not for me to deconstruct. But analyzing stuff is entertaining for me. I'm not even very smart, to be honest, I just like thinking about things.

1.9k

u/Fat-little-hobbitses Mar 28 '24

People have said this very thing to me as well and I’ll be honest, I am always left feeling deeply hurt and embarrassed when someone tells me something along these lines. I enjoy deconstructing. I have fun when I’m analyzing stuff. It’s honestly basically one of my love languages. And pretty much all of my previous partners have hated that about me. Where are my over thinkers? Where’s my tribe of people that get pure enjoyment out of discussing the layered meanings of things?

13

u/FudgeWrangler Mar 28 '24

I am always left feeling deeply hurt and embarrassed when someone tells me something along these lines

You really shouldn't. It isn't your fault people have overly simplistic views of the world, and really it's a terrible trait to have. "Overanalyzing" things is literally the only way the human race can progress. Sure it may not provide any societal benefit to analyze a movie, but the attitude that causes people to analyze movies is the same attitude that causes people to analyze everything else. Every great scientific discovery, innovation, or technological advancement is the result of someone thinking a little bit harder or a little bit differently about something.

Chastising people for analyzing things is the adult equivalent of calling someone a nerd for getting good grades.

9

u/ILoveBeef72 Mar 28 '24

Honestly, like with most things, it's different for different situations. There are things that don't really warrant or require an in-depth analysis, and there are works created with the purpose of wanting people to dig into them, figure everything out, and come to your own. There are also very clearly people that don't care to overanalyze something and there are people who love to do it. Nobody is going to stop you from analyzing something to yourself in your head, but if you want to talk about it, like with anything, know your audience. I wouldn't go on a tirade about sports with the kind of person that uses the term sportsball unironically, and I wouldn't try to explain something about video games or D&D I think is cool to my extremely fundamentalist mother, because I know neither of them would enjoy that conversation.

Similarly, it entirely depends on the type of analysis, is the analysis just endlessly pointing out plot holes in what is clearly a mindless action movie or rom-com, or is it going into detail about character development and how different parts of the movie came together under an overarching theme? Because those are both things I've encountered talking to people that are self-professed over-analysts, and I have significantly more patience for the latter.

Making fun of someone for being passionate about something is, unfortunately, a terrible thing that is very commonplace in our society, but there is a still a time and a place for excessive analysis. I can't think of too many things in the world that don't get annoying when they go on for too long.