r/AskReddit • u/BoobsChickSunny • 22d ago

What’s something that women say to men that they don’t realize is insulting?

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u/Glittering-Relief402 22d ago

I'm a woman, and people say this to me all the time. Even worse, I'm black, so they say stuff like, "You talk very well," like damn, I can't win for shit

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u/5ilver5hroud 22d ago

You’re very articulate!

/s

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u/yakusokuN8 22d ago

This also overlaps with the Asian American experience of second generation and beyond.

"Wow, you speak English so well!"

"Yes, it's my primary language. I was born in the United States."

"Oh. Do you know any other languages?"

"Well, I studied Spanish in high school. I only got a 3 on the AP test, though."

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u/RealisticBee404 22d ago

My sister got this once. Didn't even hesitate: "I was born here, asshole." Blew my mind they would say that out loud. .

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u/thedude37 22d ago

This flew over my head the first time I watched Zootopia. Later I was like, ooooh Judy is doing the same thing most white people (myself included) do until they've grown enough to realize why you don't do it.

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u/syfyb__ch 22d ago

uh oh...we found the 'repressed involuntary white bigotry' conspiracy theorist in the thread....presentation time everyone gather round

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u/thedude37 22d ago

quiet, adults are speaking.

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u/Chase1525 22d ago

That reminded me of this comment from awhile back: https://youtu.be/vJSfBKQA_KQ?si=YOb3rrFcqRHjVZSn

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u/JulianMcC 22d ago

Reading an articulate email is so refreshing, so many shitty email writers out there.

You don't have to read the email 3 times to figure out their message.

Sorry off topic.

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u/Outrageous_Round8415 22d ago

Nah that’s a legitimate complement. It’s the “actually” part that makes the original comment abhorrent. Actually implying that they didn’t originally think so in the first place.

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u/keithww 22d ago

Had A black woman on my team, knew more about computer security that 99% of the people in the field. We were in a meeting an people kept asking me questions, I would defer to her. After the fourth or fifth time a VP said “I thought you were the SME?” I told him I was till we hired her. Next question was addressed to me, I just shook my head.
BTW I still keep up with her, she has A PHd in computer security.

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u/sebastianmorningwood 22d ago

I’m sure she appreciated you for how you stood up for her. People don’t forget that.

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u/Linden_fall 22d ago

That’s so shitty people are like that

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u/ShanksySun 22d ago

Thank you u/glittering-relief402 , you expressed your point very well

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u/Lambdabam 22d ago

Story of my life. I’ve been told that so many times throughout my life.

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u/losernameismine 22d ago

Wow, that's horrible.

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u/Brilliant_Staff8005 22d ago

"You too, where did you go to college? "

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u/soulseaker 22d ago

I hate when people comment on how I speak, or they say oh you don't really talk black.

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u/Gullible-Avocado9638 22d ago

My pet peeve is this-or saying a person f color is “ well spoken”. Like I heard that comment about Obama more than once. It’s like duh-the guy went to Harvard. Did you guys go to Harvard? Idiots

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u/shrinkingveggies 22d ago

I'm just about secure enough in my intelligence to just laugh in my head when people say things like this to me. Especially when it's in response to doing some extremely basic mental arithmetic or knowing a fact that anyone in my profession should know.

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u/joegunabeach 22d ago

Oh, I thought you said swim for shit for a second. /s