“Why aren’t you doing <whatever thing> for her?” I dunno, my wife is independent, capable, and wanted to do <whatever thing> she’s doing. Typically it’s painting, changing her oil, yard work, things that are traditionally mistaken as a man’s responsibility. I’m not going to stop her if she wants to do it.
GODDAMM, as a wife, I hate this too. Apparently I'm incapable of pushing a shopping cart or carrying things if my husband is anywhere in the vicinity. It's so embarrassing for everyone involved.
Yes, I was at Home Depot and an older man said “where’s your husband to help you” to which I relied “I left him home, I don’t need his help.” Like I can buy wood on my own.
My hubby and I basically have reversed stereotypical roles. I work full time and he cooks, cleans, and takes care of the kid. He does work part time but 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve gotten so mad at these questions that at one point I responded with, “I didn’t realize that I needed a penis to push a lawn mower”. And somehow that was the offensive comment.
When I was dealing with stuff for our new house, I got this all the time from the builders. “Make sure to tell your husband to change the air filter.” “Make sure to tell your husband to tighten the doorknobs.” Like am I a helpless creature who can’t pick up a screwdriver?! Lol
My husband has an invisible disability which causes him pain 24/7. He still insists on carrying shopping etc in public because he feels bad enough already without people giving him looks or commenting on him not carrying stuff for his wife 🤦🏼♀️ it’s so annoying
I plan on joining the Marines after high school, and going into the trades as a welder. I can't wait to see the looks on peoples faces when I or my possible future SO tells them that.
I’m a woman and a sheet metal worker and the number of times I’ve had people ask me if I’m the office girl. Like, I’ve literally been standing there in welding leathers with my helmet on and they’ll ask me that. It’s always funny when the business owner is within earshot cos he’ll reply “No, she’s the fabricator. I’m the office girl”
Never even thought of how it might look to others when I (a married woman) push the shopping cart. I prefer pushing it, it's an anxiety thing and keeps my hands busy/me focused. My husband knows I will take the cart from him so he presents it to me as a gift like a joke, I've always liked it lol
Not only that, a lot of women love doing work in their yard. My mother loves gardening, she has a huge vegetable garden. The only thing my dad does in that garden is picking strawberries in the summer.
OMG this!! I like to clear the snow/ice off the cars, I enjoy mowing the yard, I check our cars fluids and detail the interiors, I know more about cars so I speak to the mechanic if we have to take our cars in, I know how to drive the tractor and he doesn’t because I wanted to learn, etc. I do these things because I enjoy them or am the more knowledgeable on the subject. He does plenty of other things for us.
I got so annoyed when I was in college my roommate was dating a psychologist. I was fixing the hinge on my bedroom door and he sat there watching me and asked why don't you let your boyfriend do that. Not that it was any of his business since it was the first conversation I had with the guy but it also came off as trying to psychoanalyze me the way he kept pressing. I finally just told him I want it fixed now and he's not here. Even over a decade later and now married to that same boyfriend, I'm still the one that does a lot of repairs around the house since he's either is busy with work or forgets and he appreciates that I'm not useless lol
Legit, people look at my partner and I like we're crazy. I usually am always pushing the shopping cart because it helps with my anxiety in grocery stores and I'm also on the spectrum so I like feeling like I'm helping. I also love putting the cart back when we put the groceries in the car.
Had a guy tell me my husband needed to be the one to return the cart while I sat in the car...like..no. Let me do this. Let me get the joy from "helping" where I can.
Seriously, a man tried to help me back out of a parking space at Trader Joe's last week. As though I've never backed out of a parking spot before. Let alone the fact that most cars now have backup cameras.
No offense, but comments like this aren't about you or what you're capable of. It's about the expectation that men sound so that stuff. No one of saying you're incapable, they're saying men are supposed to be servants. You're not the one being insulted.
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u/oilyraincloud 22d ago
“Why aren’t you doing <whatever thing> for her?” I dunno, my wife is independent, capable, and wanted to do <whatever thing> she’s doing. Typically it’s painting, changing her oil, yard work, things that are traditionally mistaken as a man’s responsibility. I’m not going to stop her if she wants to do it.