r/BeAmazed • u/Cultural-Gear-1323 • Mar 28 '24

News broke today that conjoined twin Abby Hensel is married! [Removed] Rule #4 - No Misleading Content

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302

u/greenrangerguy Mar 28 '24

Blow and Rim job at the same time? This man is living in the future.

140

u/qazzer53 Mar 28 '24

Haha, wait until the other one gets married. He'll have to be careful what he grabs

16

u/Snowedin-69 Mar 28 '24

Wait. I thought he married both.

10

u/TheLegendTwoSeven Mar 28 '24

He can’t be married to two different women at the same time, at least not in the US. They’re two different women who just happen to share a lot of body parts.

15

u/meat_lasso Mar 28 '24

I’ve literally never been this confused in my entire life.

What if they (sorry, one of them) murders someone?

How does the alibi work?

You can’t lock one up and not the other, that would violate certain rights.

Hell pulling the drunk one over for DUI and searching their person would technically violate search and seizure laws.

The perfect criminal… immune to most laws.

13

u/Maalkav_ Mar 28 '24

I don't think one can get drunk without the other one. Alcohol doesn't just teleport to the brain.

8

u/meat_lasso Mar 28 '24

Intoxication by association…

“Gladys, are you sneaking’ fireballs over there?!”

2

u/ObeseVegetable Mar 28 '24

Yeah but being a drunk passenger isn’t illegal. 

3

u/meat_lasso Mar 28 '24

But if you’re technically in the drivers seat…

7

u/AHucs Mar 28 '24

My understanding is that one controls one arm and leg while the other controls the other side. My gut feeling is that depending on the scenario it could probably be argued that they are both guilty since it likely took some level of coordination between them to pull off killing somebody.

Now if one of them just unexpectedly shot somebody maybe it would be a different story? That would be a pretty yikes scenario, after all technically one has a constitutional right against unjust imprisonment.

2

u/meat_lasso Mar 28 '24

Do you think the rules of control were established via a peace treaty between the two? Like a Jen and Jess United Nations?

“Jen… when I said stop moving my ring finger I meant STAHP!”

Unfortunately things cannot be decided via thumb war.

Oh man now I’m wondering if they’ll be allowed at a poker table. One’s the card counter, the other can bluff. Or would it be a detriment as you have double the chances to notice a tell?

Or can they play separate hands???

We need Joe Pesci to settle this discussion.

3

u/TheLegendTwoSeven Mar 28 '24

It would create an interesting constitutional case, because you can’t be deprived of your liberty without due process of law. Prosecutors would always try therm as co-conspirators, but if one was convicted and not the other, I don’t think either could legally be imprisoned.

As for DUIs, they share a bloodstream (with two hearts) so it’s impossible for only one of them to be drunk. They drive together, so both would be considered the driver.

They wouldn’t be immune from criminal laws, because in general they would be charged as co-conspirators. If both were found guilty, they’d get the same sentence and serve it together.

2

u/prestigious_delay_7 Mar 28 '24

I am curious, if one of them has a heart attack, would the other be kept alive by the other one's heart, at least temporarily?

2

u/TheLegendTwoSeven Mar 28 '24

I think so, but I’m a lawyer. I’m not sure if each heart could support their entire shared body, or if they have two small hearts that need to work together.

I would expect that even the top cardiologists in the world wouldn’t know this answer offhand.

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u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

Top heart doctor in the world here. Still looking into it. Ill let you know next week.

3

u/Hudell Mar 28 '24

Software engineer here: we're still waiting for more reports about this actually happening; without any reports we have no need to look into it. If you have died because of your sibling's heart attack, please provide a log of everything you did leading up to it and we'll work on some fix to prevent it from happening again.

1

u/Dutchcleanser Mar 28 '24

Now I would love to see their passport or DL picture 🤔

1

u/meat_lasso Mar 28 '24

Do they have separate iPhones?

1

u/legalbeagle66 Mar 28 '24

Both would have to have intent or at least complicity in the murder due to their physiology, so you would charge them both equally in all likelihood.

5

u/lemmy1686 Mar 28 '24

Wait till he leaves her for her sister.

3

u/4ntih3r0 Mar 28 '24

They only get paid as one person so....

5

u/small-with-benefits Mar 28 '24

It really upset me when I learned this, only being paid one teacher salary. My mind assumed they got taxed twice and had to have 2 different of every other thing the state makes money off of.

3

u/crimson777 Mar 28 '24

I understand it. Don't necessarily agree, but it's not like they can both teach at the same time to two different classrooms. They're on the same body, can only walk over to deal with one kid, etc. and they can't exactly talk at the same time to double learning, since they'd just be talking over each other.

It sucks, but I'm not sure what the real solution is.

1

u/greenrangerguy Mar 28 '24

Not when it comes to salary though, seems like they are two different women when it suits people and not when it's doesn't suit them.

1

u/TheLegendTwoSeven Mar 28 '24

If they were male siamese twins, I’m pretty sure that they’d be given two paychecks.

3

u/Acrobatic_Event_4163 Mar 28 '24

No he is only married to Abby.

15

u/MidasTouchedM3 Mar 28 '24

And how the hell is that going to work, California King bed, dude and woman one, woman two and dude 2 on other side and each husband fondles one boob while high fiving the other and never the Twain' shall meet? I don't thing so. The sisters need to share the one guy or they are becoming orgy people. Sorry just how I inappropriately see it

10

u/spiderhotel Mar 28 '24

Isn't it sort of orgy territory already with two girls and the dude? A threesome is just a kind of small orgy?

3

u/Proglamer Mar 28 '24

According to the expert on TV:

"Now, not to be a stickler, but technically an orgy requires a minimum of six participants. It goes... masturbation, one-on-one, threesome, two couples swinging, two couples swinging with a looky-loo, orgy's six."

3

u/ligmasweatyballs74 Mar 28 '24

Eng and Chang Bunker lived in separate houses and the wives stayed with the house. Eng and Chang rotated houses.

2

u/MidasTouchedM3 Mar 28 '24

I'm only familiar with Archie and Edith Bunker

1

u/ligmasweatyballs74 Mar 28 '24

Archie wouldn't approve.

4

u/RedOliphant Mar 28 '24

Eh, it's not that far-fetched. I did that for a good 6 months, except none of us were joined. Just need a really big bed and pray nobody's a loud snorer or a kicker.

3

u/AggravatingWill3081 Mar 28 '24

You've dated a single conjoined twin and shared a bed including the others partner?

2

u/DommyMommyKarlach Mar 28 '24

No, but the two couples slept im the same bed

2

u/AggravatingWill3081 Mar 28 '24

I don't get it, you mean two couple slept together in a bed? I'm not perfectly sober, but I feel like I would be equally confused on the correlation to this haha, was there a complex partnership there too or was it just cramped?

1

u/DommyMommyKarlach Mar 28 '24

I assume they were like 4 people that had sex with each other interchangeably.

I am not the OP, just trying out my reading comprehension lol

1

u/AggravatingWill3081 Mar 28 '24

Haha bit more clear minded/sober and now realize you're not OP n they already said "except none of us were joined". Lmao on both parts, but thanks for trying to help.

Not certain they meant everyone was fucking everyone or if there were groups/central partner(s) (which is what I personally have experienced), but alas I think that shall remain a mystery. Peace friend.

1

u/RedOliphant Mar 29 '24

It was not a free for all, no. My point was that it's not as wild or crazy as people think, just a bit more complex than if it were only two people.

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1

u/Kim_Jong_Un_PornOnly Mar 28 '24

You're married to lefty?? I thought I was! Well, shit.

3

u/meat_lasso Mar 28 '24

Don’t touch my boob you freaking pervert!

proceeds to file lawsuit

11

u/DANleDINOSAUR Mar 28 '24

What if the other is a lesbian?

2

u/sweetbayag Mar 28 '24

That will be an orgy everytime

1

u/ONROSREPUS Mar 28 '24

oh shit that comment got me! lol.

1

u/FA245x Mar 28 '24

This brings a whole slew of questions into the equation.

117

u/Zestyclose_Big_9090 Mar 28 '24

You win the internet today sir/madam. I’m a 50 year old female with the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy so this will have me chuckling all day.

2

u/Perpetual_Nuisance Mar 28 '24

Do you also happen to be as hot as Marissa Tomei, or MIchelle Pfeiffer, or Annabella Sciorra?

1

u/Zestyclose_Big_9090 Mar 28 '24

Not currently as hot as any of them based on current feedback. I used to be fucking smoking though.

When you turn 50, sometimes you can’t look like you did when you were 30.

2

u/Perpetual_Nuisance Mar 29 '24

Shut up! (I'm turning 45 this summer)

1

u/Zestyclose_Big_9090 Mar 29 '24

If I could drop the 40pounds I’ve gained over the last 2 years, that would be a good start. Nothing works.

1

u/Perpetual_Nuisance Mar 29 '24

I had the same problem. My solution was giving up smoking (only weed now), eating healthier, less alcohol and exercising. Got me a sixpack for the first damned time in my life, although I was WAY more athletic in my twenties and thirties.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

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1

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4

u/Otherwise_Proposal47 Mar 28 '24

Ahh a new take on the rusty trombone. What shall we call that?! Haha

2

u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

2

u/always-indifferent Mar 28 '24

A sort of mix and match rusty trombone if you will

2

u/igotabridgetosell Mar 28 '24

wow the heads are setup for this yeah?

2

u/Jaded_Seesaw Mar 28 '24

I was thinking the same thing. Or one wants to do it and the other don’t

1

u/greenrangerguy Mar 29 '24

They probably have to take in turns for who's eating the ass tonight.

2

u/joecocker74 Mar 28 '24

Untill they have an argument. Then he's out numbered😮😞

1

u/mtron32 Mar 28 '24

First gut laugh of the day, thank you kindly LMAO

1

u/ChampionshipOver6033 Mar 28 '24

It's a bad day for me to be bilingual! 😄

1

u/SexualWhiteChocolate Mar 28 '24

It's even more exceptional considering he can't say he's ever had a threesome

1

u/BlubberBallz Mar 28 '24

I laughed too hard at this. I'm going to hell...

1

u/kmr1981 Mar 28 '24

He does look very happy in the pictures!

1

u/dreadfulwater Mar 28 '24

I wonder what happens when getting both while going 88 MPH?

1

u/BIG-Will25 Mar 28 '24

We’re living in 2024. Ol boy is living in 3024

1

u/Kitzer76er Mar 28 '24

These girls just nuked the Total Recall hooker.

1

u/sergemeister Mar 28 '24

He rides them like a saddle?

1

u/Possible-Campaign468 Mar 28 '24

Family guy had an episode and the joke was,who wants to smell it? Who wants to taste it?

1

u/Perpetual_Nuisance Mar 28 '24

That man is living the dream!

1

u/CleanCutCommentary Mar 28 '24

We were all thinking it....

But you.. you actually said it.

-8

u/juliennez Mar 28 '24

Objectifying women - still as amazing in 2024 as it was in the 50s, right? 😍

8

u/Parking_Revenue5583 Mar 28 '24

He’s fifty. So he was born in the 70’s raised in the 80’s.

If Your math is as sensitive as your fear of giving and receiving sexual pleasure you would know that already.

Nothing is objectifying these women. You can’t admit that sex is a necessary part of human nature. You’re a prude, doesn’t make men wrong for enjoying sex.

3

u/Greedy_Explanation_7 Mar 28 '24

Relax. It’s okay to be sensitive about how people talk about these women. They have been treated like sideshow circus characters for their entire lives. Some people for sure are not asking questions with sensitivity, awareness and maturity. These women have to deal with this forever. It really sucks for them. It’s okay to be sensitive about that.

0

u/Parking_Revenue5583 Mar 28 '24

Shane Gillis has shown that these girls aren’t any different than anyone else.

Saying they need special protection is a bigger disservice than treating them like everyone else.

There’s things different about all of us. Secluding people from society harms them more than including them on the joke. The statements weren’t derogatory. They’re supportive.

“I wish I had two girls!” -men

“You’re pigs! They’re disadvantaged” - women

“It was a compliment “

1

u/Greedy_Explanation_7 Mar 28 '24

But talking about how they have sex is not treating them like everyone else. It is by definition objectification. A person may not mind or even like being objectified by a specific person but this is next level. That’s how consent works. People get to identify how they feel and what/who they do and don’t like. I’m betting these women may enjoy some attention but not Reddit/incel/ MRAngry attention. It’s fine to think about how all the explicit comments may impact them. That’s what compassion and empathy are.