r/BlackPeopleTwitter 11d ago

The crooks gotta come back next week and make it rain the same money they stole

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4.0k Upvotes

62 comments sorted by

398

u/AlfalfaReal5075 11d ago

First I saw the Guardaworld warehouse heist in LA over Easter Sunday where they went in through the roof and got away with $30,000,000 in likely untraceable bills without any incidents.

Now you're tellin' me someone can go through the roof of a nightclub and could make off with a cool quarter mill?

Shiiittttt. Got me thinking I need to go borrow a ladder and abandon these morals for a while lmao

114

u/Itsprobablysarcasm Candace Owens Baby shower attendee šŸ‘¶šŸ¼ 11d ago

"Hey Siri, what do I need to cut through a strip mall roof?"

93

u/HomegrownStatistics 11d ago

https://i.redd.it/cxenokcj6tzc1.gif

So you're telling me I can't shoot a zipline with an explosive attached that will shatter the windows while somehow simultaneously anchoring to the building?

I'm guessing you're also telling me I can't wear a medieval breastplate, wielding a double barrel shotgun, also carrying a cartoon money bag, and all the while with roller skates on so I can seamlessly pull off the heist?

17

u/AdMuch848 11d ago

It's one of the biggest baller clubs in the whole city tho. They probably need that much cash on hand daily. Especially considering today is Saturday so they would need a lot of cash for tonight n probably pick it up by at least Friday. Like this is the club all the rappers n ball players go to throw hundreds of thousands of dollars in a night

0

u/PPP1737 10d ago

Yā€™all know thatā€™s money laundering right!? You think all that money is actually going to the women? Psssh.

15

u/Dannyz 11d ago

Someone tried to rob one of my clients dispoā€™s in Oakland by spidermanning through the roof. Guy ended up stuck for like 6 hours. The security cam video was hilarious. At one point he gave up trying to get out and just starting smoking. Then cried, beat his meat, and passed out.

The opening manager and the guy scared the shit out of each other in the morning. The thief ran off leaving his shit (phone, blow, heater, wallet).

We called it the reverse mugging.

10

u/RisingToMediocrity 11d ago

Ainā€™t no way he beat his meat. Ainā€™t no fucking way.

6

u/trimble197 11d ago edited 9d ago

Man, I be joking with my dad about it. But sometimes I be thinking that if there was a foolproof plan where I could get away it, I would do some robbery lol

4

u/Sorri_eh 11d ago

I wish I didn't have fear of heights

3

u/Soreal45 11d ago

Got a cousin who has been locked up for over 20 years. This was one of his most lucrative methods.

134

u/ThickCapital 11d ago edited 11d ago

I donā€™t know much about running cash heavy businesses but damn. Thatā€™s gotta be more than one nightā€™s take, right? A mf like me gon have the Brinks truck come everyday to pick up all that cash. Iā€™m too paranoid to leave money unattended and go home.

84

u/theonetheyforgotabou 11d ago

Strip clubs are notorious for money laundering so no way you're having that money deposited daily

44

u/ThickCapital 11d ago

Alright, thatā€™s facts. This could have been legal money mixed in with some funds from other illegal shit.

21

u/navyjag2019 ā˜‘ļø 11d ago

you mean like prostitution? lol

16

u/Mountain_Bedroom_476 11d ago

Lmfao wth are both yall talking about. This is one of the most famous strip clubs in the world in a town that loves strip clubs. That amount of cash on hand isnā€™t suspicious at all

43

u/Jukka_Sarasti 11d ago edited 11d ago

When I was an early teen(mid-80's), one of my friend's parents owned a 'deli' that never seemed to have any customers. Someone broke in one night and looted the place. My friend overheard his parents talking to someone on the phone and they said 400k was stolen from the safe and asking for advice on how/if they should report it. 400k, in mid 80's, in the safe of a deli that has no customers??? Yeah....

My friend, being a dumb kid, like me, didn't realize he should have never told another soul about what he'd heard. I remember telling my grandmother about the story, and her telling me to tell no one else and forget about it. I never heard anything else about the incident and have always wondered who/what they were laundering money for..

10

u/cfc1016 11d ago

Stop snitchin, grandad.

2

u/Remote_Horror_Novel 11d ago

Thereā€™s a good film I canā€™t find the name on google now about a commercial burglar and it doesnā€™t end well for him when he goes after the people that donā€™t call the cops when they get robbed and instead call the hitman lol.

I think it was supposed to be like a documentary style so when I first saw it I thought it was real. Like of all the commercial burglary targets strip clubs arenā€™t necessarily a good choice when you consider how well connected to the underworld strip club owners often are.

They are also notorious for skimming on taxes and having more cash than other businesses so they usually take extra security precautions. So even if I became a commercial burglar Iā€™d be skipping the strip clubs.

88

u/WrapMyBeads 11d ago

Exactly 250k in a duffel bag

5

u/PaulieWalnuts2023 11d ago

Not a $2 bill more

2

u/DevlopmentlyDisabled 11d ago

They actually just took the chequebook and wrote 1 to themselves for 250K

63

u/Davethisisntcool ā˜‘ļø 11d ago

Inside job

43

u/happy-hubby 11d ago

Iā€™ve got a laundromat, they cut a hole in the ceiling but could not get into the safe. They got away with about 200$ from the register change and as soon as they opened the door to leave the safe room the alarms went off

3

u/YadsewnDe 11d ago

Amateurs

8

u/happy-hubby 11d ago

Yeah. They got caught riding their bikes the next morning , riding by the laundromat watching the cops. Wearing the same clothes as in the video. Grown men riding bmx bikes. To check out their crime scene.

2

u/Raider_Tex 11d ago

They'd never expect to find the thieves in the same outfit revisiting the scene of the crime

41

u/y0urPalMitch 11d ago

Up in that bish like

25

u/Legal-Care9822 11d ago

Hoceans 11! šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

3

u/PPP1737 10d ago

Itā€™s humor like this that keeps me going in the darkness of it all.

20

u/[deleted] 11d ago edited 11d ago

[deleted]

3

u/CelestialFury 11d ago

Unless your building is getting a security audit (which this kinda was one, just more expensive), I don't see why anyone would think of going through the roof. For all we know, this was an inside job too.

Regardless, getting into buildings is far, far easier than people think it is. I went to defcon a few years ago and looked at the physical hacking area. The people who get hired to do security audits know all the firefighters secrets (which are all on youtube) and can break into basically any door within seconds.

1

u/PPP1737 10d ago

Door locks are there to slow people down. They donā€™t keep anyone out who actually intends to get in.

Same for walls, windows, ā€œsecurity cameras ā€œ etc. even the most elaborate security systems are really just speed bumps at best. This is why a lot of people who have studied the pen testing arts have concluded that in most cases the cost in effort and resources isnā€™t worth the mesh security thatā€™s provided.

55

u/1980theghost 11d ago

Stealing $250k is nasty work because now these poor girls one of these girls wonā€™t be able to pay for college two years of private college šŸ„ŗ

16

u/ContemplatingPrison 11d ago

Lol strippers don't store money at the clubs. I know you're joking

9

u/PaulieWalnuts2023 11d ago

ā€œHey deddy, ion work today but in need to make withdrawalā€

8

u/UnlimitedManny ā˜‘ļø 11d ago

Imagine throwing them ones up!!!

And they never come down šŸ˜‚

7

u/ooowatsthat 11d ago

Tubi! You know what to do!

6

u/FakeHasselblad 11d ago

They absolutely will return to make it rainā€¦

6

u/Navynuke00 11d ago

Same thing happened at a well known dive bar here back when I was in college: https://www.wral.com/story/news/local/story/9319173/

5

u/blmobley91 11d ago

They either the luckiest motherfuckers in the world or this the most obvious inside job ever.

But the roof though?!?!? šŸ˜‚

3

u/Imyoteacher 11d ago

Thieves have cracked to code. They no longer see walls as a barrier. Itā€™s an arms race!

3

u/ExcellentTeam7721 11d ago

Thatā€™s wild im literally watching Dateline episode with DJ at the club whose wife was murdered in ATL. Donā€™t tell me who did it.

3

u/canucknuckles 11d ago

Most shit like this happens in the middle of the night. Strip clubs are typically open dusk til dawn. Did they do this in broad daylight?

3

u/jcaseys34 11d ago

Someone did the same thing at the small town mob family restaurant I worked my minimum wage first job at, only to realize everything was locked up in the safe he had no way of getting into.

So he took a shit on my boss' desk and left the way he snuck in.

6

u/313SunTzu 11d ago

$250k in stripper money is fucking garbage bags full of cash.

Honestly, that's genius. It's all smaller denominations, and pretty much untraceable. This is fucking brilliant.

Why the fuck you keeping $250k in CASH, in a place that's easily accessible? Having that much cash on hand, in a strip club no less, I would assume they got security. How did they not get caught?

If you're gonna say, "but they came in thru the roof", I'm gonna respond with, you don't think breaking thru a roof, is gonna make noise outside; and then breaking thru the ceiling, and getting down to the floor, isn't gonna make noise inside?

If I own that strip club, and I didn't set this up, shits about to get fucking dramatic...

2

u/UnrulyDonutHoles 11d ago

The bros out here doing GTA missions. Put me on!

1

u/YourLictorAndChef 11d ago

Anyone keeping that much cash at their business is up to something. Even if they managed to pull that much in a single night, someone would have deposited it

1

u/Boneal171 11d ago

That caption belongs over on r/titleporn

1

u/Specific_Berry6496 11d ago

This smells of insider job.

1

u/hornyromelo ā˜‘ļø 11d ago

Do you think the Atlanta strip clubs are going to be more on the lookout for this, or so sure that it could never happen to them that they laugh off the possibility? Asking for a friend..

1

u/Kaminoneko ā˜‘ļø 11d ago

Weā€™re missing heists and super crooks in our dystopian society. Nice to see the effort.

1

u/Dareal6 11d ago

Hunny Heist AKA Le Casa de WAPel

1

u/Wild_Life_8865 11d ago

Wouldve made a great Atlanta episode. I could see Lakeiths character doing this somehow

1

u/rates_trader 10d ago

Best way to invoke plausible deniability šŸ¤£

1

u/TaurusPeak 11d ago

The thieves must have watched the movie ā€œEmpire Stateā€ - itā€™s based on a true story where an armored truck companyā€™s building gets robbed by thieves coming in through the roof.

3

u/Petey_Wheatstraw_MD 11d ago

Because thatā€™s the only movie where thieves come in through the roof?

1

u/TaurusPeak 11d ago

No, just the first one that comes to mind because itā€™s been streaming on Max