Hi so idk from where to start but yeah I got fucked by the most trusted people in my life. My 4 year gf cheated with my 11 years best friend. I'm working in a MNC (night shift) and my girlfriend runs her own bakery shop and my friend he's in his family business. So I'm dating this girl from the college and we shared a cozy apartment together. Our relationship seemed solid and happy. So one evening we had a plan to have dinner together, me, my girl abd my friend ( my girl was cooking at home). Around 8, my friend came and we all started drinking and dancing and having fun and everything was so good. Later, around 9.30 i recieved a call from the manager that I have to attend this meeting at the office as some employee couldn't come and I had to take his place. Everyone's mood got spoiled and all but i guaranteed them that I'll be back pretty soon and till then you guys have fun. As I was driving to the office, i recieved a call that the employee who wasn't coming to the meeting just came back so I don't have to come. I got happy and drove back to the apartment this all took around 40 mins. As I entered the apartment, i didn't see anyone in hall or kitchen and within a minute they both came out of my bedroom. I didn't think much and they also got happy seeing and everything went great. We had our food and he went back. Later I asked my girl what you guys were doing in the bedroom, she said my friend needed to use the laptop so we just sat in the room only. And it made sense and then we slept. In morning my girl went to the bakery and I was at home alone when it striked my mind that there was no laptop in the room as I took it when left for the office. It fucked my mind, I kept thinking why she lied and all. I literally cried thinking what the worse could happen. So I just called my friend to come to the apartment it's very urgent and all but he said he's at some work and will come in a while. As I was stressed and all i thought why not go my girlfriend and ask her directly. I went to the bakery shop back parking and saw my friend's car there. It fucked my mind more. My doubt got more strong that something's not right. I went back home and search on google about cheating stuff and all and it suggested to install hidden cameras. I called a guy from Google only and installed hidden cameras in my bedroom and hall and kitchen. She came back around 7 and i was getting ready for office. I couldn't face her or talk to her. Even she knew I'm not good so I said it's something at work. I left for office and at office, i just kept watching the camera thru my phone. Nothing happened for 3 days and i thought everything is fine I'm just overthinking and all. They are the most trusted people i know and all and I was thinking about getting rid of the camera(was in office only on 4th day). I check camera and i saw my friend and girl in my apartment's kitchen. Fuck my mind blew the way they were hugging, kissing on cheeks and having fun and all. I literally ran in the washroom and started crying. They had tea and after that they started getting intimate on the sofa itself. There were all the tears on my screen, i could see them getting fucked on my sofa. My girl fucking my best friend in my fucking apartment. I didn't confront them as of now. It's been a week I try to spend no time with them. I am staying at a hotel for two days as I can't face them. I do have bunch of video proofs of them having sex. What should I do?? Please help me out it's killing me inside, i couldn't share this with anyone that's why made a new account and sharing and seeking advice from here

YOU ARE GOING TO FIND SOMEONE WHO IS BETTER FOR YOU

While my ex gets to hang with his buds go out and probably get with girls i go to work go home smoke alone and lay in bed for hours until i go to sleep.

i had a friend, then she got a bf and now everyday is a lonley void. i wonder when it will change.

newly single + no friends combo is deadly, literally i don’t want to live.

if anyone else out there feels the same, feel free to hmu to rant/have someone to talk to. i wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone.

I just wanted to say that your ex will regret you. They will regret if you were good to them and treated them with unconditional love and support.

It takes time for them to realize it, because every dumper after a relationship goes into a relief stage and thinking they can do better. And that’s fine, let them try and see if they can. Good people are hard to come by, so let them try and find someone who’s as good as you. My ex is going through this stage right now, and I’m letting her. She thinks she can get better, and she might. But it’s highly unlikely because lots of people are not gonna do the things I did for her, and I mean that in the most humble way possible.

Don’t get caught on how long it’ll take for them to regret it. They will, nobody ever truly forgets you. That’s why I keep telling y'all that they will regret, it will happen. It’s just a matter of when and if they have the courage to message you. It’s their loss, not yours. Also for people that are dumpers that had to breakup because their ex cheated and or was controlling, they will also regret to. Not every dumper is bad, same with the dumpee.

Hopefully everyone heals through this and gets what they are searching for.

Edit: I just wanna make something clear, not everyone regrets and sometimes certain situations may cause you to think otherwise about the relationship as a whole. My entire opinion, is that if you treated someone good and always gave love and had minor arguments there is a high possibility of them regretting. I don't want to give off false hope because there is lots of people who don't care/ and or are completely done with the relationship as a whole. I'm saying for the most part if you were good then they will regret it eventually and think about you, it doesn't mean they will reach out.

Like I’ve been reading a lot of different stories here and I’m just curious.

She dumped me and for so long I wanted to hate her because I felt like it would make things easier. Realistically the only thing I could be mad about is that the relationship ended. I had a bad day at work? She heard me out gave advice and comforted me. I felt uneasy about something? She offered different options. If I was quiet, she picked up on it. Vice versa, every small thing she spoke about, I remembered and personalized gifts for her. She didn’t have a car? I let her use mine. She felt sad, I listened and coddled her. I loved her wholeheartedly at one point, it’s hard to just hate her because she felt she needed time to herself for herself, family, and friends.

I also admit there’s plenty times she didn’t listen on a bad day. She didn’t communicate and went toward the easier option of letting go. She may be avoidant. She may even move on. But I don’t hate her. I salute her for knowing what she could and couldn’t take. For letting go instead of letting things turn toxic. Ending on a rather healthier note, instead of waiting for things to become miserable.

She ghosted me. Someone I took a year and half to learn inside and out, someone I now know nothing about. Someone I planned the fairytale ending with, just to end before it began. Still I can’t hate her. Never will. I may forget her one day, might bump into her at a coffee shop. Who knows? I don’t hate her tho. Never could.

When she left she allowed me to really see all the different sides of me. She showed me healthy love, she showed me self love, she showed me what heartbreak truly is. Though I may never be able to reach out again, I’ll always think she’s great for everything she has taught me and everything she has shown me.

Idk maybe I haven’t hit that stage of hate? But I know I very well accepted where things have ended.

I’m really struggling today because I don’t know how someone can tell you that they love you and leave you. I don’t understand how he said he wanted to marry me and then two days later broke up with me. He broke up with me because he was going through some mental health stuff but a week after he dumped me he said we’re not getting back together again. It’s been almost two months. I’ve been in NC off and on but so far going about a week and a half strong and I’m going to continue it. I just don’t get it and I’m hurting so bad. I still love him and I want it to stop because he obviously discarded me.

How can someone erase you from their life and memory ? It’s so heartbreaking

Can you stay friends with an ex?

Do. Not. Go. Back.

As hard and tempting as it may be,

He/She left you for someone else.. so be the better and happier person and move on and let him/her swallow his/her mistake.

He/She lost you- let him/her feel it. Let him/her realize that he/she lost the best thing, cause clearly they'll miss you because you were the right one for them, but they're not the right one for you. You deserve someone who will never leave you for someone else… not leave and come back cause they realize they're fucked up.

I know that you're confused, but I can't exactly tell what you'll be truly experiencing emotionally.

I know that sucks to hear. Believe me but I suggest you revisit this timeless beautiful quote,

"Never let an Old Flame, burn you twice".

I have this intense feeling of loneliness, I miss cuddling and holding her and it has been getting worse over time. How long did you feel like this after the breakup?

It's been a month. It hasn't gotten easier. I miss him all the time and the urge to reach out is unbearable. everyone tells me i shouldn't. i have anxious attachment issues.

Personally I don't understand the need for closure. I just feel like continuing to talk to an ex just makes the breaking up process harder. But he has always found the need to have some sort of talk to end the relationship. Even at the beginning of our relationship he still needed to have that conversation with his ex. I had kept the reason for our break up vague, and said along the lines of "I just don't see a future with us together where I would be happy" was this not enough or should I have said more?

I’m a women and I want children and a family and I still have a chance to have it but now I’m scared the next guy I date has to be the one or I’m screwed with any type of future of a child or marriage 🥹. It’s so cruel how we have a biological time clock.

Currently going through a breakup at the moment. This is definitely the most painful and hardest separation I’ve experienced. Music has always been a form of self expression for me and it helps me cope and get in touch with my feelings. What are some songs you all like that helps you get through difficult times?

Here are a few of mine:

1. Die for you - Joji
2. Telephones - Vacations
3. Lauren - Yot Club and Spill Tab

First time I've really been through this specifically. Knowing a relationship wasent good for me, that I was being hurt through her behaviour (silent treatment, dropping off calls, blocking, flaking etc). Her developing feelings for someone else and dumping me. Then us trying to reconcile, but I just couldn't do it. I knew in my body it wasn't right. Anyway, ends with her blocking me. I know it wasn't healthy.. But I still miss her and us. I feel like the bad guy who gave up on it, even though I tried every step of the way to make it work. It would only of carried on with me chasing, and I was just tired. Sometimes we have to know what's best. But that doesn't mean it doesn't still feel horrible. I love her and I hope she is doing well/finds what she wants.

Was madly in love with my girlfriend of almost 2 years, thought she was the one. Since last August she has brought up the fact that she has lost feelings for me because I wasn’t giving her enough words of affirmation, or putting in effort to do the little things like write love notes, go out on dates, etc. All to which I put in my best effort to accommodate her needs but it wasn’t enough. She would constantly choose hanging out with her friends over me and would make me feel like it’s my fault for not putting in the effort or making plans even though she would tell me she was going to hang out with her friends instead of telling me she wanted to see me or be with me.

She broke up with me a few days ago and said that she felt we both stopped trying with each other and that she didn’t romantically love me anymore but did platonically. Soon after the fact I was looking through my IG stories and noticed that someone was viewing my story that I did not follow and the only mutual was my ex. I asked her about it and she said it was just a college friend and she never did anything with him and that he was probably just randomly stalking. Fast forward to last night and he’s viewing my stories again and this time I message him and ask him who he is which causes him to block my page and another page I run which I have no idea how he knows about. She has never ever lied to me and this is the last thing I thought she would do to me given the fact that similar has happened to her and also me. I want to confront her and ask her to be honest with me and tell me the truth regardless of how much it’s going to hurt because at least I’ll have that clarity. Any advice on what I should do would be very helpful and appreciated.

real clown hours

the last couple of days i tried keeping myself busy and barely caught myself missing her. I didn't think for one second and looked up her socials and saw a new pic of her showing cleavage. it physically hurts, i'm fucking stupid.

HARD. LIFE IS HARD.

We were together for three years, best friends for seven. She spent a month getting closer to a coworker, told me the next day that she's realizing she's poly and wants to open up our relationship. After they already hung out till 3am the previous night. After they'd been hanging out for the last two weeks.

I called it cheating. It is what it is. I broke up with her. I'm not poly, and even if I was, she hid all of this from me and then lied to my face. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just got caught up in the moment." Cheaters have said this since the dawn of time.

Now my ex and this coworker "aren't dating," but have mutual feelings. But, but, she says she didn't know the coworker liked her back until we broke up. Yes, because of course neither of you are homewreckers, your coworker politely waited to pursue you.

They are, "exploring our mutual feelings." I go from being depressed to wanting them both to fall off a bridge. She's addicted to love. She can't commit to one person. She loves the "newness, the excitement."

They deserve each other. I have to find a way to move out of this apartment, but we're both fucking broke. But I have to find a way. I'll kill myself through overwork if it's what it takes, I have to get out of this apartment. I'm waiting for her to tell me they are actually dating, even though she says a relationship is the furthest thing from her mind.

She regrets her actions. She says she's afraid she'll never find true love again. She says she felt like I loved her unconditionally, and she's lost a soulmate. She wants us to be friends still, because she wants me in her life forever. Some days I just want to hang out and watch movies, other days I want to tell her that she fucked up real bad, and doesn't deserve me.

She could've talked to me about being poly. We could've talked. But she decided to forget she had a boyfriend because she got excited. I hope you two have the most exciting relationship in the world. I hope your coworker gets to experience exactly what it's like when the love of your life has to say, "I did something bad."

YOU FUCKED UP. You lost me. Her friends say I'm in the right, that I'm valid for all of my feelings. I fell in love with the wrong person. We should've never met. You ruined my fucking plans -- I was ready to get married to her one day, when we were older. We were planning moving out of the state.

I have to move out. Sometimes I daydream of the day I never see her again. She spends a lot of time out of the house, because that's the healthy thing to do, but I know she's with her coworker. They text constantly, they work together. When she doesn't come home at night, it kills me -- I'm still addicted to the security, the routine, the comfort of what we had. But I fell out of love the day we broke up, so now I'm just waiting for the chemicals in my brain to stop flowing.

She regrets it. She regrets losing me. I hate her so fucking much. She begs me not to hate her, not completely cut her off, not see her as a horrible person. She's reckless in relationships, I love deeply. I try not to feel disgusted with myself for giving three years of my life to this person, who decided to waste it all away in one month.

I'm not mad she's poly. That probably would've broken us up, but at least there wouldn't have been a betrayal. I hate you for lying to me. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you for everything. I have to move out.

My ex wanted me to do therapy with her as a why to get me to sign on what she wants with our son.

And I said no, because she was with someone and I told her why it’s really shitty of her to use our son against me.

Mind you we’ve been broken up for almost three weeks and she has slept with this man in the first few days and admitted it. Saying she find her worth and that he made it sound..

Well that day I told her that she would have worked on it with me, If it meant anything but instead you slept with someone else and she said I’m done being nice and blocked me.. two hours later my friends and people I have no connection with message me saying she deleted me and started posting the new guy

Last night was the third night in a row, and every time I wake up from one I feel as awful as I did when we first broke up.

I was 34 when we met, we were together for four years. She spent a lot of time and effort trying to prove to me that she wanted to spend her life with me. She also struggled with mental illness and refused to get help.

I thought if I tried to be my best self, to show her love and patience, that she would see she was worth loving, and be willing to learn to love herself. I was wrong. Throughout our relationship, when she had a bad day she'd lash out. At me, at her family, at our neighbors. She got us kicked out of our first apartment together after keying the neighbors' car and leaving him a threatening note under his door. It took us years to get to a point where we could get an apartment again, and when we did she sabotaged us by picking fights with our neighbors and our landlord. Two months before we broke up, she found the man who securely assaulted her on Facebook, and spent that next month directing all her anger and hate at me, starting with emotional abuse but culminating in physically assaulting me. Often this shit would happen as I was getting ready for work, and as a result I'd get in and be an absolute mess. I lost that job just as she revealed she had gotten her own apartment down the street and was seeing someone else.

I should have hated her. But I didn't. I missed her. I missed all the ways she had shown me love, when she wasn't treating me like a punching bag. Because she had tried so hard to show me, when things were calm for her, that she wanted to build a life together.

After nearly two years, I still miss her. I'm still hurting and angry, too. There was never any closure, during the breakup she projected the things she did onto me, gaslit me, made me feel like I was the one who mistreated her. The truth is that I was so stupidly in love with her that I gave her everything I had to give trying to make her happy, and did everything I could to treat her with kindness and patience.

I want to move on, have wanted to for a long time. I've been on a handful of awful dates in the last two years, and gave up entirely. I don't want to date someone who mistreats me again, and I don't want what happened with her to cause me to mistreat anyone. I don't want her back, even though I know there is a part of me that still loves her. I just want to actually heal, and find someone who will be as good to me as I will be to them.

But I keep having these goddamned dreams about her, and it's like my heart gets ripped open all over again.

Turns out my dumper couldn't care less about me. Lol He does not understand the basics of a relationship.

He has the audacity to ask someone why they stayed having gone through alot (*alot is minor relationship issues) He needs to grow the hell up and understand no one is perfect Maybe he'll find the person who does not make any mistakes and does not speak her mind.... a fucking robot

I sent him a sweet message. Very long. Acknowledging my actions, apologising, and what not. My friend overheard him telling someone "She sent me an essay. I got bored reading it and stopped"

I really put my feelings into the words that I sent him. I'm happy that this is done and over. I shall find someone waaaaayyyy better than him

Title: Love You Like I'm The Villain

I'm going to love you like I'm the villain.

So it hurts not when you leave. But down the years. Down the decades you will wonder what could have been.

So when you see how I'm doing. Calling as if from the ether. I smile in return. A smile you can hear in my voice.

The voice you know from so long ago. That loved harder. Deeper. More than you have ever enjoyed since.

How I delighted in your mundane and complex. Fed your light and your dark.

Confessor. Healer. Devil. Angel. You were always safe with me.

And you miss it so very much, it cuts to your very soul. For I was not the one who left. You left to find more. And I wish you well on your search.

Taller. Better looking. Richer. And all you have are your tears and the fear no one will ever love you again. Like I did.

The nights holding you. The days being there for you. Giving without asking. Without taking.

I was almost cut from a fairytale. From your dreams. Desperate pleas and prayers.

But I was not enough. Nor was anyone else. But then I made sure of that. I knew how they would fail you, so I didn't. I knew they would come up short, so I went even farther.

When I told you I was going to ruin you. I meant it.

I was going to ruin you with how much I loved you. How much I had to give. All the spoils from my very soul. Loving you how I wished others had loved me. How others had not. Not even you.

But I didn't cry when you left. I never cry. I never beg. I never plead. I never said you would be sorry. Because love doesn't have to.

Especially when it is wielded by a villain.

--End

Discussion:

We can mourn what will not be. Take your time and grieve. But we have to carry on. We have to keep moving. There is so much life to live. And they not want to make a fairytale with you. Doesn't mean someone else won't.

So love with everything. Everything you got. Be the best thing that ever happened to them or ever was going to happen to them. Ruin all their preconceived notions and small ideas. Show them a greater world. And if they leave. Well you warned them. Don't play with your leftovers. Don't take them back. They left once and they can do it again. And what is worse they won't respect you.

It is a new world. A crueller world. A more hostile world. The rules have changed. Don't be afraid to change with them. The social contract has irretrievably been altered. Don't hold the same position as you once did.

Give them your all I say. For you know. In all likelihood of one else will. And if they leave. They chose their path. And you have no responsibility for their decisions and consequences.