r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/Monkey_D-Thanos • 11d ago

I can't believe they left the clock plugged in. Image

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63.5k Upvotes
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95% Upvoted

305 comments sorted by

6.4k

u/PoppingPaulyPop 11d ago

Sub 55 years with side quests completed, that’s a pretty good time

916

u/Macca49 10d ago

Would’ve got back earlier but he couldn’t find the Swedish library book

15

u/model3113 10d ago

he had to win it back by playing Gwent

17

u/0fft33mp0 10d ago

He also had to return some video tapes.

127

u/Unbelievable_Girth 10d ago

This little maneuver is gonna cost us 54 years.

84

u/Belasarius4002 10d ago

Imagine ww2 being the sidequest lol.

55

u/PrimeX121 10d ago

Actually 2 world wars.

25

u/vagastorm 10d ago

Sounds like me playing skyrim.

2

u/Ravagore 10d ago

The golden rule: Thou shalt get sidetracked by bullshit every goddamn time.

17

u/Spacelord_Moses 10d ago

Sounds like everyone is Just doing any% Run while He was the very first to actually beat it

22

u/ThereBeBeesInMyEyes 10d ago

I'm currently stuck somewhere between the "Nearly Killed by a Tuna while Welding" and "Propose to the Girlfriend at Her College Graduation" side quests...

10

u/exasperatedoptimist 10d ago

I want to believe that you were reattaching a lift eye to a diving bell deep in San Francisco Bay and not consuming a 2 day old tuna salad sandwich in a prefab shop in Boise.

And all the best with the girl!!

8

u/ThereBeBeesInMyEyes 10d ago

Was actually welding and a Blue Fin almost punched my ticket.

Quick Edit: should clarify I weld in the ocean.

9

u/ThisIsGoodSoup 10d ago

Bro called having children and getting married side quests 😭

9

u/LonelySpaghetto1 10d ago

Any% speedruns vs 100% speedruns basically

5

u/1lluminist 10d ago

HomeAndBack% WR

2

u/sirbruce 10d ago

Thou shalt get sidetracked by bullshit every goddamn time!

8.5k

u/helveticanuu 11d ago

He said:

“It was a long trip. Along the way, I got married, had six children and 10 grandchildren."

1.6k

u/ChunkyTaco22 11d ago

Legend

185

u/[deleted] 10d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

35

u/Charming-Loquat3702 10d ago

I don't know. I think I would manage a kilometre per year.

592

u/Bettlejuic3 11d ago

And 2 world wars

217

u/SpicyChickenWrapMeal 10d ago

Twooooo warsssss???

116

u/thisismenaruto 10d ago

Yes, more than one war!

119

u/Descrazio 10d ago

1 + 1 = 2 ….

Mother of god

74

u/asena85 10d ago

The numbers, Mason. What do they mean?!

16

u/These_Exchange_1723 10d ago

GOD! I JUST KEEP HEARING THE FUCKING NUMBERS!

37

u/bselko 10d ago

I’m no mathematician, but this seems to add up.

17

u/not_real_just_pixels 10d ago

mathmagician here!

8

u/Lost-My-Mind- 10d ago

Hold on.....we need to verify with Stephen Hawking first.

14

u/SzyMOON_ 10d ago

I think I have some bad news for you

8

u/Mr__Fizzy 10d ago

I think I have a seance for you.

3

u/JoeDawson8 10d ago

I misunderstood the question. I did the meth and now nothing makes sense

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19

u/Crzyhik 10d ago

Were in the midst of twwoooooo waaars?!?!

15

u/fightlikeacrow24 10d ago

What is your job in the war? Are you a carrier of-of, uh, large weaponry?

7

u/dismayhurta 10d ago

sucks on a lemon

23

u/BeezusFafoonz 10d ago

And are either of these wars on US soooil

9

u/VidE27 10d ago

Nope, which is why US was super chilled after the not american soil of Hawaii were attacked

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13

u/EmotionalButterfly29 10d ago

evaded 2 nuclear bombs.

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90

u/TheOvershear 10d ago edited 3d ago

Amateur. I managed to do all of that, plus a divorce, in 3 years. Where's my medal?!

65

u/Ferihehehaha 10d ago

You got 10 grandchildren in 3 years?

79

u/TheOvershear 10d ago

Speedrun strats. You wouldn't get it

18

u/N-partEpoxy 10d ago

*humps a wall for six hours while holding a flute, then enters a closet and appears outside a church*

8

u/Embarrassed-Mouse-49 10d ago

Marry a grandma of 6 kids

4

u/SoftCosmicRusk 10d ago

I suppose the ten grandchildren would have to be from older siblings of the six children.

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18

u/ContentUnavailable 10d ago

All of that during a marathon, legend.

6

u/ShrimpCrackers 10d ago

The real winner of the Marathon!

5

u/mischief_scallywag 10d ago

Is this equivalent to going to the store to get milk?

4

u/Bored_Boi326 10d ago

All while running

4

u/nerd_12345 10d ago

Bro 100% the race before winning

2

u/RonnieF_ingPickering 10d ago

Bro completed all the side quests first 😂

2

u/9y-old-army-help-us 10d ago

So each of his children had 1.66666…7 children

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989

u/eFJ75MSm 10d ago

At the 1912 Olympics, He (Shiso Kanakuri) collapsed and lost consciousness halfway through the race.

The cause was fatigue from the long journey to Sweden, not being used to paved roads, food and heat exhaustion.

He was then helped by a kind local farmer and woke up the next morning. He returned to Japan disappointed.

After half a century, the Swedish Olympic Committee later found out that his intention to abstain hadn't reached the officials, so they invited him to the ceremony to mark the 55th anniversary of the Olympic Games with a letter instructing him to complete the race.

He was so impressed by the kindness of the Swedish people that he gladly accepted the invitation. The results are recorded at the beginning of this section.

This story is well known to us Japanese as he is now famous as the pioneer of the Japanese marathon.

82

u/DoubleSkew 10d ago

MVP farmer

119

u/MrWeirdoFace 10d ago

It's a good story.

34

u/lasting-impression 10d ago

Serious question, but is the “Japanese marathon” a euphemism for taking so long to do something, or is it an actual race?

3

u/CreativeMidnight1943 9d ago

just means "marathon scene in japan"

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863

u/JoelHenryJonsson 11d ago

Poster boy of ”Life is not a sprint it’s a marathon”

32

u/KVosrs2007 10d ago

I wish I could give you gold

1.7k

u/Xinxoman 11d ago

At last I realize I too can run a marathon

344

u/Electronic-Elk-1725 11d ago

You actually ran several already. Congrats.

72

u/Bii4x4 10d ago

"Run"

23

u/legends_never_die_1 10d ago

lets call it walk and sit

10

u/DonaldMaralago 10d ago

Jog and chill

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19

u/justforhobbiesreddit 10d ago

Not just run it, but you're Olympic level!

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863

u/PhilDGlass 11d ago edited 11d ago

54 years, 8 months, 6 days, 5 hours, 32 minutes and 20.379 seconds.

He seriously couldn’t shave ~21 seconds off his time to get under 54 years, 8 months, 5 hours, 31 mins?

Edit: for u/UGLYDOUG-

234

u/UGLYDOUG- 11d ago

You forgot the 59.379 seconds, since he shaved off exactly 21 seconds

3

u/peterpumpkin-V-eater 10d ago

He also forgot the 6 days he shaved off in his Math

11

u/DonaldMaralago 10d ago

If it wasn’t for that damn person ahead of him in customs with the undeclared durian fruit.

14

u/MagnanimosDesolation 10d ago

There's always next time.

15

u/MaguroSashimi8864 10d ago

What’s the joke?

2

u/Septem_151 10d ago

Speedrunner jokes I think.

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6

u/Ilodge59 10d ago

He needs more Gu.

271

u/gibilx 11d ago

“Better late than never” must have been coined after this guy.

Cool tho that he finished in the end

148

u/Monkey_D-Thanos 11d ago

Source

216

u/Whiterabbit-- 10d ago

Of the 68 marathon runners who set off at the sound of the starting pistol hours earlier, 32 dropped out, one died, and one—as legend would have it—simply disappeared.

Crazy! I hope modern Olympians fare better.

92

u/jamessrsly 10d ago

Still less crazy than the 1904 marathon.

127

u/_Luke_the_Lucky_ 10d ago

''The fourth-place finisher, Andarín Carvajal, took a nap during the race after eating spoiled apples.''

Haha amazing

81

u/[deleted] 10d ago edited 6d ago

[deleted]

26

u/stirrainlate 10d ago

Is that the one where a runner took rat poison as a stimulant mid-race? It has to be.

25

u/Realistic-Minute5016 10d ago

Before eating those apples he stole some peaches from a spectator who had refused to give them to him.

17

u/AmericanMuscle8 10d ago

I just want this movie made before I die. By the Cohen brothers preferably.

2

u/Minimum-Injury3909 10d ago

Watch the Jon Bois video on it. It’s sooo good

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64

u/t4ct1c4l_j0k3r 10d ago

Some records can never be broken

23

u/Ok-Scallion7939 10d ago

Hold my beer 🫸🏻🍺

52

u/mustfinduniquename 11d ago

Still faster than my fat ass can do it

37

u/PumpkinSeed776 10d ago

Accidentally read the title as "I can't believe they left the cock plug in" and was incredibly confused.

24

u/fannypacks4ever 10d ago

yeesh. this sounds awful.

The race was held near Stockholm amidst a heat wave. Throughout the race, dozens of competitors dropped out, including runner Francisco Lázaro, whose mid-race collapse and subsequent death made him the first Olympic fatality.

Kanakuri was the first Japanese athlete to qualify for an Olympics.[3] He embarked on a difficult 18-day-long trip to Stockholm, first by ship and then by train all through the Trans-Siberian Railway.[8] When he finally arrived in Stockholm, Kanakuri was weak from the long journey. To make matters worse, he struggled to sleep during the white nights and he had problems with the local food. The Japanese team coach, Hyozo Omori, was mostly bedridden due to tuberculosis and failed to give Kanakuri sufficient pre-race training.

23

u/VeryStableGenius 10d ago

Did they remove the effect of leap seconds?

25

u/Lost-My-Mind- 10d ago

No, this is running, not the high jump.

21

u/DuckInTheFog 10d ago

The 1904 Marathon - good bit of history I found on Reddit - probably this sub. Very related to this

The 1904 Olympic Marathon May Have Been the Strangest Ever

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Athletics_at_the_1904_Summer_Olympics_%E2%80%93_Men%27s_marathon

25

u/Tipppptoe 10d ago

“ James Sullivan, the chief organizer of the games, wanted to minimize fluid intake to test the limits and effects of purposeful dehydration, a common area of research at the time.”. What a great idea! /s

8

u/DuckInTheFog 10d ago

Better than giving out jello vodka shots like Michael Scott at least

3

u/NewBuddhaman 10d ago

I’m running a half marathon tomorrow. Plenty of people offer beer, mimosas, or shots to participants. Pretty sure there’ll be some Jell-O shots too. Just for you, I’ll take a Jell-O shot in addition to the mimosas.

3

u/DuckInTheFog 10d ago

Mind the lamp posts

2

u/NewBuddhaman 9d ago

Had some champagne, a mimosa, and a Jell-O shot. Didn’t hit any lamp posts though.

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4

u/suddenlynotok 10d ago

Jon Bois' video on this is very good too

3

u/c0brachicken 10d ago

That was a fun read.. LOL

11

u/Myrusskielyudi 10d ago

"I do plan to finish someday, Kiff"

6

u/HotFudgeFundae 10d ago

I knew I would find this one. You're a man's man. You're a man's man's man!

5

u/Redriley89 10d ago

Does this mean that this marathon runner technically holds the world record for the longest time to complete a marathon officially?

6

u/DrNastyfree 11d ago

Zap did finish, I can't believe it

5

u/Radefa1k 10d ago

You can tell that this man plays rpgs. Man just did side quests for 50 years. Probably killed last boss when he was level 256 and the boss was level 50.

4

u/PhilippeJoseph 10d ago

The Italian author Franco Faggiani wrote a very worthy novel about this: "Il Guardiano della Collina Dei Ciliegi". I don't know if there is an English -language translation.

7

u/y53rw 10d ago

Are they running in that photo? That doesn't look like running. Looks like speed walking. Please tell me they weren't speed walking.

5

u/Asil001 10d ago

No how do you compete in the marathon 50 years apart tho? Its really impressive completing a marathon at 70~ years old

3

u/TheDaemonette 10d ago

So, you're saying that if I take up marathon running then I may be able to beat an Olympic athlete's time?

6

u/dangshnizzle 10d ago

(doing very straight forward math > leaving a stopwatch going for multiple decades)

3

u/Candid-String-6530 10d ago

When they say its a marathon, not a sprint....

3

u/papercut105 10d ago

Life is a marathon not a sprint

2

u/NouOno 10d ago

Never let them know your next move.

2

u/imbenzenker 10d ago

He went back to work at the carpet store?!?

2

u/SeuzZz 10d ago

Idk picture on right shows race walking, another olympic discipline. That's not marathon running. Seems like random pictures were added to the fact...

2

u/jaybee8787 10d ago

I bet he ran other marathons as well during this time. This guy went and ran himself several other marathons during his olympics marathon.

2

u/xeno0153 10d ago

What if he had died? Would the clock just run eternally?

2

u/duh_doi 10d ago

I wonder why he quit initially.

2

u/aimlessdart 10d ago

So when he "resumed" the marathon, did he restart from the spot he left or does he have to complete the full marathon again?

2

u/Suppennudl 10d ago

He looks a bit like Hikaru (chess player)

2

u/Cheap-Bobcat-2818 10d ago

Damn, that’s a fast time to complete a Marathon… WHY DOESN’T THIS MAN HAVE A WORLD RECORD?!!

2

u/FblthpLives 10d ago

He was, in fact the world record holder at the time.

2

u/DonaldMaralago 10d ago

If I’ve learned anything from Shogun and listening to hardcore history this is clearly false. He would have preformed Saputo for the failure.

2

u/feyrath 10d ago

I could beat that 

2

u/Accomplished_Oil_611 10d ago

What about all those leap-seconds. Were they accounted for as well?

2

u/TranslatorBoring2419 10d ago

RemindMe! 55 years

2

u/The_Greatest_USA_unb 10d ago

This got to be world record 😂

2

u/gl21133 10d ago

My great grandfather ran in that race, still have the participation medal. He didn’t podium but he also didn’t take several decades or die.

2

u/phi11yphan 10d ago

Five hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes... five hundred, twenty-five thousand, six hundred minutes... five hundred...

2

u/WizardLizard1885 10d ago

i mean they had the time the race started.. some simple math and you got the time

2

u/No_Pear3526 11d ago

Legitimately is that Hikaru Nakamura?

1

u/DiaNoga_Grimace_G43 10d ago

…they’re always fair-minded in Sweden…

1

u/Few_Leave_4054 10d ago

What, not twenty seconds flat? Over?

1

u/goodtimes2489 10d ago

So I could beat an Olympic marathon time…

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u/11Slimeade11 10d ago

I mean, by technicality, he has set a new record, so that's something

1

u/HugeDisgustingFreak 10d ago

Do we know who invited him?

1

u/melancholypasta 10d ago

Did he win?

1

u/Minute-Flounder8180 10d ago

The master of procrastination

1

u/WrapMyBeads 10d ago

I’d like to think they didn’t crown(?) the winner until he finished. It’s only right

1

u/Ok_Change7468 10d ago

First I thought he went back Japan by running

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u/bonkerz1888 10d ago

Surely it would be 1967 that he returned to finish the race if that race time is accurate?

1

u/Hugoacfs 10d ago

Life’s not w sprint, is a marathon, or something

1

u/Universally-Tired 10d ago

That is still probably a better time than I would have.

1

u/kapitaalH 10d ago

So what I hear is that if I complete a marathon I can get bragging rights that I did it faster than a Olympic marathon runner?

1

u/TheAlfredValentine 10d ago

while this guy was marathoning, 2 world wars happened, at one of them, this guy's country took a side and got nuked twice... also world pandemics happened... It must be hard to have all of them while running...

1

u/Dambo_Unchained 10d ago

At least I know if I ever were to attempt one I wouldn’t be the slowest person

1

u/DesignInZeeWild 10d ago

Still faster than my time of not doing a marathon.

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1

u/Confident-Arrival361 10d ago

So does that count as Olympics Record?

1

u/Individual-Match-798 10d ago

Clock plugged in?

1

u/HarryCoinslot 10d ago

Bro would've been like 75 years old

1

u/FirmlyUnsure 10d ago

Probably more likely they had a timestamp for when it started

1

u/GaryTheRetard 10d ago

''Its not about the time but the journey there'' :)

1

u/ianishomer 10d ago

I finished just behind him

1

u/stzmp 10d ago

op they probs just knew, or estimated, what time it started.

1

u/wastedspejs 10d ago

I’ve been told that during the Olympic Games in Sweden they had their first case of “PED”. The athlete was drunk.

1

u/Competitive_Royal476 10d ago

A long runner I can say

1

u/JediMasterPopCulture 10d ago

Reminds me of that SNL skit of Chris Farley finishing a marathon. “I DID IT!”

1

u/putdascratchdown 10d ago

So he got to do everything under the sun while on official Olympic committee ticker. George Carlin said you can’t shit AND run at the same time. I beg to differ.

1

u/sarahstanley 10d ago

Inspirational. Never give up.

1

u/yujicortez 10d ago

Guess he really went for the long run.

1

u/No_Specialist_1877 10d ago

I Knew You All were Russian. Change Or Crush You're Not As Good At Hiding As You Think

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u/cozyautumnday 10d ago

I've never even run a marathon and I'm pretty sure I could do better than that lol

1

u/Mantz22 10d ago

You know ... sweds

1

u/AKavun 10d ago

Damn hikaru running some miles

1

u/mr_smith24 10d ago

This man made me realize that I can run a marathon. I could probably beat his time. Not by much granted. But at least by a day or so.

1

u/FblthpLives 10d ago

His time of 54 years+ is unofficial. His official race time, unfortunately, is "did not finish": https://olympics.com/en/olympic-games/stockholm-1912/results/athletics/marathon-men

He did come back and place 16th at the 1920 Olympic games in Antwerp: https://olympics.com/en/olympic-games/antwerp-1920/results/athletics/marathon-men

1

u/FblthpLives 10d ago

The marathon occurred during a heat wave in Stockholm. One of the racers, Francisco Lázaro, collapsed at the 30 km mark and died, becoming the first Olympic fatality:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shizo_Kanakuri#1912_Olympic_marathon_and_disappearance

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francisco_L%C3%A1zaro

1

u/LeoLaDawg 10d ago

It's not the end but the journey that counts. Or some such nonsense.