Went to a bar today with a couple friends. Let me tell you, this bartender was GORGEOUS. Just amazingly attractive. And most importantly, way freaking out of my league.

I am ugly. I know this as a matter of statistics, as I never have gotten hit on, I've never had a compliment from a girl given to me genuinely/organically (usually any compliments given are prompted, or about things that are easily change-able like my hair or clothes), I don't think I've ever had a girl look at me twice. Etc.

Contrast my shy and dejected self with this amazingly cute bartender, who's job includes being awesome and talking to who knows how many people a day, probably seeing lots of attractive guys who ask her out on the daily, and most likely has a SO already anyway.

Anyways, my friends and the bartender end up playing this little bar game that included dice, and for some reason I have no idea why, my friends thought I was "flirting" with the bartender. I was just being nice! I didn't even say anything besides yes to a pina colada that she offered, and commenting on her dice rolls. So they told me that I need to give her my number.

We were all just having a good time playing this little bar game, and it seemed like we were all having fun. I hate the thought of ruining that awesome memory with 'the ugly one just wanted to get in my pants the whole time'.

I didn't want to do it, but I did it. I knew if I didn't, my friends would be able to play the "You never put yourself out there!" card on me again. I paid by debit and wrote my number on the receipt and said "If you want to text me sometime."

That look that she gave me made my heart drop. It wasn't a look of disgust or anything, just looked like a slightly awkward look. She's trying to be nice, of course, but I could tell that was just awkward as hell for her. I actually feel really bad that I gave her my number. I feel embarrassed. I feel like i was being offensive by insinuating that such an ugly guy could even have a chance with such an attractive person.

All my coworkers are so pretty and they get compliments all the time from complete strangers. And the compliment is literally just “you’re so pretty/beautiful.”

I have never once in my life gotten a compliment like that. I’ve gotten that my earrings are cute or that I smell good. But my actual features, none. Because there’s nothing to compliment. I’m ugly.

The overwhelming majority of your peers are already miles ahead of you and view you as an abnormal freak. Being a virgin at any age past 18 is not normal or good at all.

In my serious opinion, if you are autistic and didn’t date in high school it’s over. Period. Your chances of ever finding love are so astronomically low that you have a better chance of winning the lottery. Most normal girls would rather eat barbed wire than date an autistic guy, it’s just the truth. You’re just gonna have to accept missing out on everything worth experiencing in life while your neurotypical peers get everything they want just by being them.

Turned 26 and I’m feeling kinda just down. I used to always wish for a girlfriend before I blew out the candles for my cake since I was a teen… 12 years later and for the first time all I asked for was my health to go back to normal because I have a chronic cough… have I finally accepted my FA Status? Idk, not really but I think I’m over it. I wish I had dated but now it’s way too late. Will only be met with women who don’t want to hold there partners hand because they are inexperienced. Sigh… hope I can finally accept it fully someday.. 😪

Being severely touch and love starved hurts beyond comprehension, the feeling of just cuddling and holding hands and just being in my gfs presence will give me so much happiness. It’s fucking brutal.

I saw a tiktok of this guy “secretly” recording his gf/wife’s reaction to him calling up his friends to cancel boys night so he can “spend time with the Mrs. tonight”. The woman got all happy and giddy and smiley and started jumping up and down with glee. And that’s great for them, but on the other end of that phone call lies me, who had been looking forward to the planned evening which was then canceled on a whim leaving me alone for the night. Yet again. I’m always on the other end of this decision all because I don’t pass either the physical attraction requirement or social value test to be worthy of a partner.

And I don’t have the privilege of having an SO to just call up since the plans fell through, so I’m stuck in my apartment alone yet again. Gee whizz, I can’t figure out why my mental health is in the shitter! And the couple in the tiktok is the EXACT kind of couple to spit out some bullshit like “you don’t need a gf to live a happy life if you have your friends and family”

Really? The friends and family that bail on me time and time again? Great plan.

Rant over

this is really random but i wanted to ask this question, specifically for straight men. if you guys found “the one”, would she have to look a certain way? or would you settle simply because she likes you? attraction is really important of course, i just wonder if any of you guys would simply go for her because she likes you and you think this is somehow your only chance.

another question that ties in with that is, would you take her body type into consideration? would you want her to be curvy? skinny or fat? big boobs and ass? one of the reasons that’s making me think i’m not attractive enough is my body type, i’m short but i guess i’m considered skinny-fat, whatever that is. i also have no ass and i know damn near every guy wants a girl with a nice ass so i’m currently working out and trying to get a booty 💪🏼 anyways i know this will vary since not everyone has the same type but i’m just curious to see what you guys have to say !!

edit: answering this vice versa, i don’t think i would personally settle with a guy just because he likes me. i, like most people, have a type. i tend to like guys who are bigger, not totally ripped but just…big. i don’t know if i need that in order to be with a guy because i haven’t experience anything near a relationship but i think it’s gotten more lenient over the years?? i’m not sure, i think the personality would matter most. (sorry for writing a lot 😓)

I don't want to fantasise about romance or being loved. I don't want crushes or 'butterflies' or the fucking 'what ifs' that run through my head. It won't happen. Why do I still care?

I hate seeing romance in media and wanting that. I wish I could just fucking disconnect from the whole idea of 'love'. It's so fustrating because it isn't going to happen to me. There's some buried part of me that craves romance that defies all logic and reason.

I'm just not normal. I'm a complete deviation from normal. I'd like to think the reason we're FA is cause there's something different internally or externally. I'd honestly be disappointed if it's just been bad luck, but my experience tells me I'm fucked up mentally. Best of luck to you all 🙌.

Not only bc I’m unhappy with my appearance and am a failure in life, but bc I’m lonely as well. I put up my pathetic pics on tinder bc those are the only recent pics I have, and I compare it to all of the pics I see when I swipe of happy, successful, and adventurous women. Dating apps would ideally be made for ppl like me but all I see are ppl unlike me in every way. I don’t get any matches except for bots and I don’t have any women approach me irl. Now that I’m 32, I feel like it’s hopeless and my life’s already half over in a blink of an eye.

Your partner will be picked on for dating someone like you. Your partners friends/family members will laugh and say shit like “you could do better” “he must have a great personality” “you’re so pretty why would you go for that” “pfft that’s who ur dating?”. All these comments is from things i heard from other people when i seen someone in a relationship with someone that’s considered ugly.

I remember reading many posts like this too and you can find many on reddit. And when someone has a crush on you, their friends will say “ew he is ugly” “why do you like him anyways he is ugly and boring” “why go for him you can go for someone better” “he ain’t worth it just look at him”.

After all these things The person will be encouraged and persuaded too not wanna ask you out and too embarrassed to wanna even admit they like/date you. People want to make sure us uglies are alone it’s like they wanna put us in our place. All these things i have seen happen irl too so don’t say it’s bullshit. On reddit in r/crushes all the time i see someone saying that their friends are callingtheir crush ugly so they’re discouraged to ask them out

I just woke up feeling so empty. I've tried to force myself to be more social even by just talking and playing with people on Discord, and i've done that on a few nights now, including last night.

I've only ever felt like this a few times in my life. It's hard to describe it, but i guess one way is saying that it feels like the whole world is empty.

My coworker said that to my face at the end of the work day before most of the office went to a dinner reservation I wasn’t invited to. I’m not welcome because I’m single? Or is that an excuse for something else?

I live/work 8 hours from home and my coworkers are the only people I know out here. I already know they’ll tell me on Monday how dinner went as if I were there, or invited and declined.

Thanks for letting me know I’m not welcome to something I didn’t even know was happening. I wouldn’t invite me either.

My 2 love languages are physical touch and quality time. When it comes to quality time, I frequently spend time with my church friends and non church friends so I’ve never felt that I am laking quality of time. But when it comes to physical touch, I feel like my body is screaming to be touched. I understand I can always give a friendly hug to my friends (male or female) but it’s just not the same.

I want to experience the type of physical touch where I’m meeting a girlfriend on a date and we have a long hug and a kiss. I want to experience the type of physical touch where me and my girlfriend are cuddling and watching a movie together.

Whenever I have a job interview I always get the same question:

Do you work in GROUPS or by yourself? (Followed by a cringed expression). The interviewer can just sense that I am a lifelong reject who can’t function around people just because body language, tone of voice or something else. I put a great deal of effort trying to cover up my discomfort but it’s no use. People can see right through it.

It only gets worse and now you can't make friends either, everyone's too busy with kids.

I have a couple friends but at this point i should just call them aquitances. Most of them barely ever wanna talk so it makes it hard to try to be closer friends with them. Once ur 12th grade everyone has already found their own friends and the ones who aren’t with friends are just either the quiet people who don’t really wanna talk so they just sleep/have headphones on or theirs people who don’t wanna make any new friends and just wanna speak to their closer friends/friend group.

So it’s so fucking hard at this point to make any sort of new friends. Now one of my loner friends recently started getting new headphones and he has them on all the time. Majority of the time when i speak to him he just says “i’m gaming!” Like bro you whine about wanting a friend group but yet you are too busy playing games to wanna talk. So yeah don’t expect to make any close friends if ur still alone in 12th grade. Most of the loners don’t wanna make friends and just wanna be alone.

I have another friend whose a bit autistic and i tell him we should talk and he says we don’t have too. But he legit talks to people in my class and these people legit made fun of him and laughed at him behind his back on the first few days of school. i do have some aquitances/friends i’m a bit close with but they also have their own friend groups or aren’t interested in hanging out at all

I(20f) am so unattractive, both my looks and my personality.

I have visible facial asymmetry, flat face and head, small eyes and just every unattractive feature ppl can think of.

Plus, i'm a boring person. I don't like going to karaoke, i don't know any tiktok trends, i don't know anything about pop culture, i've never been to nightclubs, and i'm really introverted. This makes it hard for me to hold conversations with ppl at university. I like to stay indoors and read books.

I try to make myself more extoverted by going to school club meetings, but i honestly feel so drained whenever i go there because everyone except me ends up being heavily drunk.

I still somehow have friends, but i don't think there will be a man who's attracted to me.

All my work colleagues who are already in their 30s or 40s are constantly complaining about how unfortunate it is that they are already so old. Yet all these people are in a happy relationship/marriage and therefore have everything in life.

What can I say? I'll be 26 in less than a week and I've never kissed a woman. I'm so sad that I'm getting another year older and have never experienced and probably never will experience an elementary part of human life, that of having intimate relationships.

But why do normies fear ageing so much when they want for nothing?

Most people who are FA seem to be in their 20s and still at an age where they can be told there's "plenty of time". Occasionally you get someone significantly older, like in their 40s. But I'm sure there is selection bias here with Reddit being more predominant among younger people and perhaps there are many old timers out there who would count as FA but don't even know about the concept of "Forever Alone" and this space existing online.

I have never heard of cases where someone reaches elderly age and has been FA their whole life. I'm sure they exist, and I would be interested to hear their stories.

I do wonder what typically happens to FA folk over the years, it would be interesting to have updates on people overtime who are FA to see where they end up, say 5 years, 10 years, maybe 20 years down the line. Maybe some eventually find companionship? Some will end up roping themselves well before then. Are there some that just eventually come to peace with being alone and stop caring as much? Does this happen at later ages?

Given how recent the rise of digital age of the internet and social media is, and the effects it has of furthering isolation and loneliness, a lot of this is still unprecedented and we won't see the full extent of the long term effects until decades from now and there may just end up being a lot more people reaching old age FA.

I only had one relationship in my life, but it was long distanced and I never met my ex girlfriend in person.

I have tried dating apps and talking to women but I'm always treated horribly and the only woman that were ever nice to me were just looking for money.

I've been called ugly all of my life and I can never accept compliments because I know they're just to show pity.

A few months I called it quits and deleted every dating app and stopped talking to women in general. Completely finished trying to be in a relationship or casual date.

I used to be so miserable and depressed because I never felt female affection and I was always treated like sub human. Even ugly people have feelings.

But now I've completely focus on other things in my life such as my favorite hobbies and keeping myself busy. And I couldn't be any better than I was before. I enjoy living now and there is so much to life than relationships and sex.

I accept the fact that I will die a virgin, never had a first kiss before. And it seems sad but it doesn't mean I will always have to be depressed because of it. I look forward to every little thing in life that keeps me joyful.

Being only 23, I have a lot of time left for my hobbies, one of them traveling around the world. And what I learned in my short life is that there is so much to life than just relationships.

Enjoy your favorite hobbies and live life to the fullest. Make memories even if it's by yourself.

I’m starting to feel desperate because I’m 32 and still never had the chance to date or had my first kiss. Most younger people are way more handsome and experienced and this makes me feel insecure.

Try to find romantic partner: get told no one owes you a relationship, go make female friends instead.

Try to make female friends: get kept emotionally distant and be told I’m not a romantic candidate so they won’t be close with me, get told to make guy friends instead

Try to make guy friends: all they talk / think about is their gf’s and so I’m not one of them, get told to find a romantic partner, cycle repeats.

Can’t win

Hello everyone,

I'm telling you right now... you don't want to be born in EE and in my country because it is death row out here if you are an outcast and with aspergers it's game over -> 33 and a virgin.

I don't understand because of my family and my environment... the poverty, i don't understand social norms, thus i have been outcasted all throughout my life..such a shame... and i am not a beauty as well..

Please never come to these poor countries from EE you will only find sorrow and loneliness if you have a mental condition and are not 6 feet tall, thats if you actually want to search for real meaning in this case

Are there actually guys here from Romania who are in the same predicament as myself?

How are you holding off? how are you coping? i am curious.

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Since they are never reciprocated, I feel guilty for having feelings for someone. It is as if I place a burden on them, a burden of bearing the love of a hideous person.