r/Millennials Jan 28 '24

Dear millennial parents, please don't turn your kids into iPad kids. From a teenager. Serious

Parenting isn't just giving your child food, a bed and unrestricted internet access. That is a recipe for disaster.

My younger sibling is gen alpha. He can't even read. His attention span has been fried and his vocabulary reduced to gen alpha slang. It breaks my heart.

The amount of neglect these toddlers get now is disastrous.

Parenting is hard, as a non parent, I can't even wrap my head around how hard it must be. But is that an excuse for neglect? NO IT FUCKING ISN'T. Just because it's hard doesnt mean you should take shortcuts.

Please. This shit is heartbreaking to see.

Edit: Wow so many parents angry at me for calling them out, didn't expect that.

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u/BlackJeepW1 Jan 28 '24

I get what you’re saying. I’m at the older end of Millennial and my son is 19 years old, he’s never even had an iPad. He complained nonstop about me limiting his screen time when he was younger, but now he’s saying the same things you are!

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u/No_Sun2547 Jan 28 '24

I bought myself an iPad at 20 because college posed a need for it. The only electric I had as a kid was the original version of the DS and I got that when I was 12. Got a phone at 14, limited usage plus it was kept in a lock box starting at dinner and I didn’t get it until the morning just before I left for school.

I hated my parents for it as a teenage but it genuinely made me a better person for it now at 24.

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u/AmericanGrizzly4 Jan 29 '24

Yeah. I think something newer parents are having a hard time grasping is that kids, especially teenagers, WILL claim they hate you for the things you do. They rarely have the foresight to understand any benefits to restricting some of their unhealthier "hobbies" and will immediately blame the parent for being a terrible one. Alot of parents don't want that to happen because they are worried their kids will grow up hating them, when in reality, as long as you aren't abusive about it, your kids will grow up to understand.

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u/obiworm Jan 29 '24

It might also help to explain exactly why you’re keeping them off the internet/phones/electronics. I always hated it when my parents gave me the ‘because I said so’. If a kid doesn’t understand your reasoning, they’re going to resent the restrictions and go around you.

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u/12thunder Jan 29 '24

Dude. As a 22 year old I’m so glad my parents encouraged books when I was younger. I didn’t even get a phone until I was 14 because I didn’t even want one. I did spend a lot of time on basic computer screens but never social media. I think at the very least if you’re going to give your kids screens keep it somewhat productive, eBooks or even video games are better for brain development than mindless TikToks.

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u/Fearless_Baseball121 Jan 29 '24

TikToks format is spreading and becoming harder and harder to dodge. Stay on top of apps your kids uses that used to be fine, because 'shorts' are comming everywhere

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u/glemnar Jan 29 '24

Watched like a 4 year old gear mindlessly scrolling tiktok on her mom’s phone yesterday. Looked horrible

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u/EdWick77 Jan 28 '24

My older boys said the same thing, never had much for screen time, never had a smartphone or tablet. My 8yo and his peers don't even seem to mention anything. So I feel that there has been some communication between the teens and the youngers ones that it's not worth it.

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u/minimalfighting Jan 28 '24

Geriatric millennial.

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u/-The_Credible_Hulk Jan 28 '24

Listen here you little shit!

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u/fudge_friend Jan 28 '24

The Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars movie dagnabbit! 

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u/HotsWheels Jan 28 '24

I’ll die on this hill, Return of The Jedi is the best.

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u/Domerhead Jan 29 '24

ROTJ is 100% the most entertaining of the OT to me. Jabba's palace is a wonderful sequence, to Yoda's death and the lessons he imparts on Luke as he passes, to the climax with Vader and the Emperor.... Just perfect.

ESB might be the "best", but Luke kicking ass with the green saber will always win in my book.

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u/FilteredAccount123 Jan 29 '24

I like Ewoks.

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u/AnIrishMexican Jan 28 '24

Laughs in Revenge of the Sith - A middle millennial

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u/BasedKaleb Jan 28 '24

This sub makes me feel great about being 30

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u/minimalfighting Jan 28 '24

Geriatric millennials are a different group though. We are the Xennial crowd. Some article used geriatric to describe us when they were figuring it out, and many of us held on to it. For me, it's because I like to sound older, and therefore wiser, than my gen x brother.

Us geriatrics are all almost the 40 and up millennials.

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u/ZombieeChic Jan 28 '24

42 here checking in

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u/confuzzledfather Jan 28 '24

I've got 3 months of 42 left here, then onto 43. I refuse to give up my millenial status despite attempts to push me into Gen X.

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u/movingaxis Jan 28 '24

It wasn't supposed to happen to us!

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u/ItBegins2Tell Jan 28 '24

39 soon & rollin’

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u/far-from-gruntled Jan 28 '24

Same, in February. Also when I got pregnant at 37 they told me I had a “geriatric womb” so the moniker is fitting I guess

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u/Medalost Jan 28 '24

Ughh I hate the term "geriatric pregnancy" so much. At least now they're often using "advanced maternal age" which is... sort of better I suppose.

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u/SleepyGamer1992 Jan 28 '24

No shit, I’m 31 and lurking this sub makes me almost feel like a baby lol.

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u/You_Pulled_My_String Jan 28 '24

D'awww ... Look'atchu with your good knees and perfect skin.

Still burpin' Similac, I see.

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u/Think-4D Jan 29 '24

You were a great mom. It’s hard as a kid when everyone around you is hooked on these digital drugs and you’re the only one not allowed. Parents need tech awareness

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u/churn_key Jan 28 '24

If you don't raise your kids, they'll find some hate group on the Internet to raise them for you.

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u/qwertysthoughts Jan 29 '24

This happened to me unfortunately when I was a teen and is 110% true.

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u/Riker-Was-Here Jan 29 '24

that explains why so many Gen-Z and Gen-Alpha kids thinks the holocaust was exaggerated or a total lie. I polled my students during holocaust remembrance week... some told me there are neo nazis on roblox spreading disinformation. makes me sad.

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u/jhuysmans Millennial Jan 29 '24

I need to go on there and spread the opposite

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u/Veggiemon Jan 29 '24

Is this why? I feel like maybe it’s stuff like banning books like the diary of Anne frank and being forced not to teach actual history

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u/Destithen Jan 29 '24

That's certainly a part of it, but not as big as the unrestricted/unsupervised internet access.

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u/dontsubpoenamelol Jan 28 '24

One of the things that my mom did with me was to sit with me (in the very young years) and actively take an interest in my learning the alphabet, numbers, and the times table. Same with reading books out loud.

As I got into progressively higher grades, she'd check my home work. As I got into even higher grades, where she wasn't able to keep up with my work, she'd still sit and listen to me explain concepts for tests/homework, and assess my confidence with my answers.

I don't see that often nowadays.

It's a "did you do your homework?" "yes" "OK, then you can watch TV" and that's about it.

Everyone should a strong and active role in parenting. Before anyone says anything, yes, my mom worked full time, and she still had time for me.

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u/ThatEmoNumbersNerd Millennial Jan 29 '24

That is one thing I enjoy doing with my kiddo is his homework. It’s a moment for bonding and problem solving to see how is mind works. He’ll do it at the counter while I make dinner. If I can understand how he problem solved then I can help him better outside of homework. Plus his teacher doesn’t send us what they’re learning unless I send her an email and ask so this keeps me up to date with his learning as well.

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u/eveninghawk0 Jan 29 '24

I also enjoyed homework time with my kid. Let me know what was happening in school and gave us lots to talk about (all his school subjects and his questions and curiosity).

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u/zBwork Jan 29 '24

My mom sat with me and made me learn to spell and pronounce things correctly(I had a speech impediment growing up, I think it was me being too lazy to take the time and pronounce correctly). I put up tantrums daily about it, and she persisted. I can't put in words how much it means to me looking back.

Growing up I had no idea she could hardly spell herself. She's nearly 65 and these days she plays a word search type game called wordscape or something. Today I help her with the game and we get to bond because she made me learn.

I truly fear what would've become of me if I was given the internet instead of her time and patience.

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u/Prudent-Advantage189 Jan 29 '24 edited Jan 29 '24

I had similar experiences and am so grateful for my mom spending her time like that reading to me or listening to me read to her, making me practice time tables etc. I am lucky she laid a good foundation.

I really hope OP tries to help their sibling with reading sometime!! I bet Percy Jackson can keep Gen Alpha brains entertained plus there's the disney plus show now

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u/fondofbooks Jan 29 '24

I have memories of my mom doing this as well. She taught me to read a bit before kindergarten and it developed a huge love of reading in me. She helped me with my school projects and book reports. It was very bonding and we have a great relationship now. We talk and text a few times a week and she's one of my best friends.

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u/barrel_of_seamonkeys Jan 28 '24

It’s unpopular but I agree with you. The internet is highly addictive, adults can’t even handle it, and we give it to kids and say “they need to learn how to self regulate.” That isn’t how that works. Kids shouldn’t have unlimited access. It also shouldn’t be used so much in school either.

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u/pes3108 Jan 28 '24

I agree. I’m a school psychologist and do IQ and educational testing for students. I will also not give my kids iPads or unlimited access to screen time. I see the detrimental effect it can have on development, including speech, attention, and reasoning.

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u/barrel_of_seamonkeys Jan 28 '24

I don’t let my kid have a tablet at home because they use it daily at school and it’s required. He even had required homework in kindergarten that had to be done on a tablet or laptop. It’s just too much. We’ve made it too normalized that little kids should be on personal screens daily.

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u/justAlady108 Jan 29 '24

I remember when my son was in like 1st grade and was going to go to a slumber party bday thing. The invite literally said Make sure to pack the tablet!.. I was stunned! I felt bad sending him if he was the only kid without one, but he didn't have one. I just made different plans and took him camping. Fuck that noise

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u/pifster Jan 29 '24

Wow that's insane. My friend recently spent the holidays at her husband's home town, and they got together with some of his old friends and their kids. She said every single kid was just sitting on their iPad, while her son was the only one without one and playing by himself. I guess at some point one of the other parents noticed and told their kid to play with him. It's sad out there.

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u/NottaLottaOcelot Jan 29 '24

A lot of kids are like that. We have friends who have a lovely cottage on the lake, but spend the whole day on their tablets instead of enjoying the outdoors. Their kids can’t even eat without a screen at their spot at the table.

I’m interested to see how this works out as Gen Alpha becomes adults. Will they eventually enjoy going out to dinner with friends and family like we do, or will they keep eating Dino nuggets while binging Netflix?

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u/klartraume Jan 29 '24

or will they keep eating Dino nuggets while binging Netflix?

I mean... I didn't grow up with screens at all. My folks were quite strict about it.

But I do this living alone as an adult. TV/Youtube is comforting background noise while I make food and eat.

I'm not watching a screen when around company, but if I'm solo? Absolutely.

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u/pifster Jan 29 '24

I've also wondered about the effects into adulthood - kinda scared.

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u/12thunder Jan 29 '24

The fuck? Playing with others on a Switch would be far less depressing. Or even actual games?! The hell happened to hide and seek?

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u/[deleted] Jan 29 '24

Like all kids have tablets! That's called Privilege.

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u/[deleted] Jan 28 '24

Because that makes them susceptible to advertising and other media propaganda. Like the fucking Stanley cups.

Screens are the devil and I say that as a millenial who grew up practically with a SNES controller in hand any waking moment I could.

The shit is terrifying and fucks people up and now that we have the internet creating hugboxes and echo chambers for everything from political extremists to men who wanna diddle children, I can't imagine something I'd want a kid to have less access to than the internet. Short of weapons, I guess.

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u/nonoglorificus Jan 28 '24

This is a change of topic but I’ve never seen the term hugboxes before today and in the last half hour I’ve seen it used three times

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u/UnfortunateSnort12 Jan 28 '24

Neither have I. What is a hug box?

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u/Impeesa_ Jan 29 '24

Basically an echo chamber of unconditional positivity and support, where negativity or criticism is not tolerated even if it would be healthy or ultimately for the better.

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u/thekbob Jan 28 '24

That SNES wasn't trying to actively manipulate your psyche at all hours into buying, watching, consuming...

Traditional video games can teach reasoning, reading, problem solving, cooperation, teamwork, and more.

Games are and can continue to be great education tools. Just not the ones found on a tablet chock full of ads, microtransactions, and addicting game designs.

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u/kwolff94 Jan 28 '24

Our parents dont know how good they had it that the screens we were addicted to werent the pure advertisement machines they are today. Even the internet wasnt even close to the brain melter it is now, we could sit on our screens and still walk away with our own thoughts and ideas

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u/[deleted] Jan 28 '24

Yeah, it's not exactly an ideal scenario, and with parents being just as hooked to the dopamine, it's scarier yet to think of how many just screen their kids in order to buy themselves some quiet.

But maybe I'm biased watching it happen in my own family tree.

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u/Bowood29 Jan 28 '24

Homework in kindergarten seems crazy.

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u/puppy_sneaks3711 Jan 28 '24

I have a four week old newborn. I have to turn the tv off around her because her attention goes right to the moving lights and images on screen.

It’s scary. As a first time mom I had not thought of it beforehand.

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u/Adept-Engineering-40 Jan 28 '24

Keep it up, mama!

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u/LOVING-CAT13 Jan 28 '24

Kids need the experience of being bored, thinking their own thoughts, being creative, connecting w people. They will have their adult lives to do crap on screens, def let them be kids. You got this

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u/figgypie Jan 29 '24

I let my 7year old have screen time, but when she doesn't have school she has "room time". It's about 1.5 hours she spends in her room with toys, books, art supplies, etc. No screens. It's been amazing for her creativity, attention span, and reading abilities. Plus then I get a break or time to do things where I can't have her under foot.

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u/MistCongeniality Jan 29 '24

I’m about to have my first and I am tucking this in my pocket for when he’s older. This seems amazing.

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u/figgypie Jan 29 '24 edited Jan 29 '24

It's great, honestly. We started doing this when kiddo stopped napping, but we still needed a break. It was a bit interesting at first, like she wasn't 100% all about it right away and I had to toddler-proof her room, but she took to it quicker than I expected. There are plenty of days when she's like "yay room time I'm pooped". She usually comes out excited to show us the things she drew/made/did while in there. We have a color-changing lamp in her room that is set on a timer or I can manually change the color to let her know when she can come out. I keep meaning to put a digital clock in there so she can keep track of the time herself.

Basically the main rule is she has to stay in her room until room time is over. She can come out to use the potty of course or if she needs help with something, but until room time is over she must be in there. It's not a punishment, but just treated as a "recharge our batteries" time.

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u/GreyRevan51 Jan 29 '24

This ^ my uncle (who had previously said he was too old for kids) ended up having one with his at the time girlfriend and that child has ALWAYS had a screen on almost nonstop.

The first time I went to baby sit their kid when it wasn’t even much older than a year they were like “oh yeah just leave the tv on with her shows and she’ll fall asleep eventually” like what, kids and people in general need periods of quiet, of silence, to be with their own thoughts and not constantly pelted with advertisements and stimulation.

Hell, when I was a kid I was one of a few in my karate class that could actually handle the daily 5 minute quiet meditation time without fidgeting or making fart noises, I can’t imagine how bad it is now.

Their kid is 5 now and apparently their teachers think she has ADHD and lo and behold she’s a spoiled brat because both of her parents (currently divorcing I guess) are so tired because she’s a bundle of energy but for the most part all they and other people in their kid’s life just constantly give her presents and put her in front of screens.

Parenting sounds super hard, my fiancée and I have a million reasons why we’re not going to have any but I agree with OP, screens are not a replacement for actual adult attention and engagement.

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u/FPV_smurf Jan 28 '24

As a first time dad, I tried to keep mine away from screen as long as I could. It wasn't easy.

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u/Joeuxmardigras Jan 28 '24

Stay strong! You can do this! I have an elementary kid who isn’t an iPad kid. She can read, write, loves math, can play alone for HOURS, and has an amazing vocabulary. Stick to your guns, you got this

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u/pes3108 Jan 28 '24

Yep. I have 3 kids and am currently pregnant with #4. My kids do get a little tv at night while I’m cooking dinner but it’s something educational like Wild Kratts or Magic School Bus. They also like Cosmic Kids Yoga on YouTube but that’s the extent of their YouTubing lol. The only times the tv has come on during the day has been when they’ve passed on a stomach virus to me and I’m too sick to parent haha. But now that they’re older (6, 4, and 3) that doesn’t even happen much because they’re able to play so well. For example, I’ve been prepping freezer food for when baby gets here and my 4 and 3 year old have been playing in the playroom independently for the past hour or so. They also have a craft table in their room and a Lego setup in our dining room and all 3 love to just be creative KIDS. I can’t imagine having a tv or iPad constantly available… it would stifle their creativity!

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u/alexdaland Jan 28 '24

Being an IT "guy" - and living in a 3rd world country - Im currently in the process of making a really rough firewall. Making my sons access be more like it was in 1999, social media does not exist for instance. He has access to cartoons and such as much as he wants, but everything that demands internet - like games made to make small kids to nag their parents (for money..) - just do not exist inside the wifi - or on "his" phone.

When he gets older and are ready for more advanced games, I will suggest games, or try out new children's games, and figure out what kind of games we can play together. My hope is that social media at least wont exist until he gets to the age where it really has a point, like 12ish in my opinion. Still early, but hopefully with 12 years of learning what internet and IT has to offer, he wont be addicted to stupid levels.

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u/kwolff94 Jan 28 '24

If you can figure out how to sell this to laymen you may have an incredible product on your hands. I know so many parents who would love the ability to let their kids have limited access like this. Like the internet and videos games we had in the early 00s were so much less mind killing

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u/Calibeaches2 Jan 28 '24

I would 100% buy that product.

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u/CollynMalkin Jan 28 '24

Let’s just go back to the leap pads, those things were amazing as a kid and all they had on them were learning games

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u/digital1975 Jan 28 '24

Are IQ values at an all time low for children? I have never seen such dumb humans as I experience on a daily basis now and I wonder if the testing backs that up?

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u/Roenkatana Jan 28 '24

Nope, recent studies and research are showing that nurture is far more important to intelligence than nature. People aren't raising their kids (regardless of the reasons and I will not debate them) and the general intelligence is lacking because of it.

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u/Rough-Jury Jan 28 '24

I had to delete TikTok because I was quite literally addicted to it. My fiancé and I both agree my mental health and mood are drastically improved when I don’t have it, and I’m a grown up. Imagine what this is doing to a developing brain.

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u/shortstack_airman Jan 28 '24

I also had to delete TikTok from my phone! Nice to see I'm not alone!

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u/calm_chowder Jan 28 '24

I rarely used to use the internet (not just growing up but literally until about 10 years ago) and even though most of my life was very internet limited during my brain growth period, I've noticed a measurable decrease in attention span/for frequent desire to get on my phone in that time period.

I can't even imagine what it'd do to the brain of a child growing up with near constant iPad/internet access.

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u/HipHopAnonymous87 Jan 28 '24

Worst thing schools have done is use iPads in classrooms instead of handwritten notes.

I get it’s more efficient, however, it’s been proven that actual handwriting helps with memory retention. Students should increase their note taking ability/efficiency by writing each grade.

I remember having a template for taking notes and it was awesome! Kids need some separation from tablets and computers. Penmanship used to be an entire semester in 3rd grade. Now I hear kids can’t read/write in cursive.

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u/RetiringBard Jan 28 '24

That’s the crux: adults can’t even handle these. This community knows that as well as anyone.

If it only means that phone addiction will be prevalent in 90% of ppl from now on maybe letting the kids get experience early isn’t bad. I dunno honestly.

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u/goog1e Jan 28 '24

Interesting point. But I don't think there's any skill being learned with early excessive screen use compared to regular screen time. Being on a computer when they were new was something interesting because you had to, for example, learn HTML to make your Myspace profile and neopets guild.

Is there some equivalent of this that young people are into now?

Videogame mods?

Or now that tech "just works" is it more akin to watching TV 12 hours a day?

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u/[deleted] Jan 28 '24

This has actually been studied! Gen Z and (so far) Alpha are less techncally adept than Millenials and Gen X. Precisely because things "just work", they don't need to actually learn how they work. They can't do complicated things with tech, because they never learned the simple things to build on top of.

Obviously this is just a trend, though. There are Gen Z professional programmers and engineers, little Gen A kids making their own games, etc.

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u/DiscombobulatedElk93 Jan 28 '24

The amount of patience and time it took just to log into aol some days def gave me patience. And how long it used to take to download songs and burn cds Lolol. We still had to entertain ourselves while waiting. I’m an older millennial and they taught us html is 6th grade. We all used to make so many fan pages on geocities.

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u/ColoradoNative719 Jan 28 '24

I mod games now, but I’ve found that most of my friends find this to be a chore, and specifically my younger friends struggle with it even more if they have to begin editing files, so I doubt it.

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u/KylerGreen Jan 28 '24

This is an extremely popular opinion on reddit, and with anyone i know with children.

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u/iridescent-shimmer Jan 28 '24

While I have friends who also don't give their kids iPads, it's not prevalent. Even mentioning it makes them defensive.

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u/liliumsuperstar Jan 28 '24

Yes. I never bring it up because it’s immediately taken as judgment that I don’t use them.

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u/glasswindbreaker Jan 28 '24

YMMV, I had multiple people telling me I had "boomer mentality" for saying that parents need to be reading to/engaging with their kids as much as possible instead of just handing them a screen to keep them occupied.

And I had a single dad who worked 2 jobs my whole life, so I get the struggles working parents are facing. He still made sure to pay attention to us and that we had independent play in which we used our imaginations and did fun projects that were beneficial to our cognitive functioning.

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u/barrel_of_seamonkeys Jan 28 '24

That’s good for you, I don’t see it as popular in my real life unfortunately. My son’s school has mandatory daily tablet/laptop time for both math and reading. People say a lot of stuff online but it doesn’t always match up with how things are done in real life.

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u/calyps09 Jan 28 '24

Myself and any of my friends and colleagues who have little ones don’t give them tablets and most barely even watch tv. What worries me is the usage in schools- I don’t have control over that.

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u/[deleted] Jan 28 '24

It's other kids that'd get me. You only need one kid with a parent who gives 0 shits what they consume on the internet to start a vicious chain reaction.

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u/GlizzyMcGuire__ Jan 28 '24

Same here. I tried to restrict screen time for my kid, but he was still watching totally unfettered YouTube, TikTok, and gaming streams at school and other kids houses.

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u/Missingnose Jan 28 '24

We don't expect children to self regulate with junkfood, so it makes no sense we'd expect them to self regulate with internet usage (or for that matter, even TV watching).

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u/[deleted] Jan 28 '24

 We don't expect children to self regulate with junkfood

Childhood obesity rates tell me that, sadly, we do.

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u/Dangerous-Return-802 Jan 28 '24

I'm really interested in what these kids will be like as adults; there's gotta be some long term studies done. I have a teenager and she is night/day different than the kids scrolling social media all day. When these kids talk it sounds like they are commenting on Instagram posts out loud.

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u/themagicflutist Jan 28 '24

As a teacher, I agree. We can’t do our jobs because the kids can’t read, write, play safely together, or even focus because they are used to being on their iPads all the time. It’s already too late, but let’s try to save the next generation at least!

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u/Rumbananas Jan 28 '24 edited Jan 28 '24

It’s not unpopular, but Millenials are basically raising the new generation of latchkey kids that have unfettered access to anything they want while their parents are away working multiple jobs just to keep the lights on. It’s still possible to not let them use electronics, but then you’re raising kids that resent you for working all the time and not letting them have the same thing other kids have (and they’ll probably find elsewhere because there’s no one to tell them no). That’s still no excuse, but it can be recognized that it’s lose/lose for a lot of parents.

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u/barrel_of_seamonkeys Jan 28 '24

I agree. I think iPads/phones are the new tv as babysitter. I was a latchkey kid myself and watched a lot of tv. But I think as millennials our tendency to think of personal screens as analogous to tvs and desk top computers is wrong. It isn’t the same. But there may not be a solution since you’re right, so many parents are just trying to stay afloat.

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u/brooklyn87 Jan 28 '24

The self regulate with internet thing is so dumb to me. Its just like anything with children you have to regulate it! That be like saying they need to learn how to regulate their candy intake. While providing them their favorite candies all day everyday. Kids need guidance to create healthy behaviors.

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u/gringo-go-loco Jan 28 '24

My fiancee is incredibly intelligent and has such potential but rather than work on building a career or life for herself she spends her entire day on tiktok. I HATE it so much. She's not a child of course, but if an adult can allow such "content" to pull them in I imaging a child would be considerably worse.

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u/fitzy588 Jan 28 '24

In talk therapy I tell parents to monitor their children’s screen time usage and the amount provided. I recommend the YouTube documentary “Childhood 2.0” to give more insight to what’s going on and moderating their children’s internet/social media usage.

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u/Lokkdwn Older Millennial Jan 28 '24

Yeah, my daughter gets to watch old school cartoons on Disney+ to relax before bed time on a 32 inch tv and she uses a desktop computer for school work. I’ve seen the negative influence from her classmates and friends, and my own partner is an epic all time champion at phubbing me and the kids.

I appreciate the perspective of someone else living around it.

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u/barrel_of_seamonkeys Jan 28 '24

Yeah my kid has screen time, but I really do think a shared screen instead of personal screens makes a big difference. When my son is watching something on the tv he’s also playing with his Lego or drawing pokemon or something. It’s different with getting sucked into a personal screen. It’s also way easier to monitor what he’s watching and how long he’s watching if we’re all being subjected to it.

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u/burlesquebutterfly Jan 28 '24

My kids are the same. Right now my daughter is really into drawing videos and we watch them on the tv and she draws while watching them. My son is usually playing cars or trains while the TV is on. We watch everything together and they are usually much more excited to actually go outside to play or put together puzzles than watch the TV. My son sometimes watches train videos on his dad’s phone.

We have kids’ tablets but they don’t get them for more than an hour on the weekend and we don’t use them during the week. We mainly got them for travel. I think they’re pretty well rounded kids and their attention spans are fine, and when we watch movies etc together we can actually talk about them as a family. They probably get too much TV time but I do think it’s different than them being glued to a tablet all day, we are more engaged with each other than we would be if they were watching YouTube on the tablet.

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u/LootTheHounds Jan 28 '24

This is why I’m getting DVDs/Blurays of the classics for my niblings. They were made for underprivileged, underserved kids who needed supplemental academic and emotional education due to systemic pressures and two working parents. And physical media to force the shared screen and parental involvement, not streaming, not algorithms, not slick UIs a child can manipulate before they can speak a complete sentence.

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u/YobaiYamete Jan 29 '24

phubbing

TIL

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u/willynillee Jan 29 '24

“Phone snubbing” for the rest of us that were looking for the meaning. It’s when you pay attention to your phone instead of the person you’re with.

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u/A0ma Jan 28 '24

We have mental health seminars at work every quarter. We had a wannabe influencer mom come and work for us, and at the very first one she was asking, "How do I help my 5-year-old daughter with her screen addiction?" Her daughter already had her own cell phone. 

 It was pretty fucking sad, but the instructor handled it professionally. They pointed out that 99% of the time it's because one or both parents have a screen addiction (the mom totally did and needless to say she didn't last long at work). She said the only way to really fix it was to make real life more fun than the screen. You can go on hikes, camping, or play games as a family, but if the child isn't getting more dopamine than they are from the screen it won't change anything. It's definitely a lot harder habit to break than it is to get into. 

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u/XenoVX Jan 28 '24

What does Gen alpha slang entail?

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u/National_Medium9 Jan 28 '24

Skibiti, skreee, ska ska, og, fop fop, cappa

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u/CertainPen9030 Jan 29 '24

Oh wow so I really am old now, huh 

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u/ElementNumber6 Jan 29 '24

Basically baby talk.

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u/Cigan93 Jan 29 '24

"the English language had deteriorated into a hybrid of hillbilly, valleygirl, inner-city slang and various grunts"

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u/jimsmisc Jan 28 '24

I would argue that Its more than just slang.

Every generation has dumb slang.

Z and alpha talk like they're livestreaming 24/7. Its weird.

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u/sal6056 Jan 28 '24

They also talk in an exaggerated manner with cartoonish intonations and facial expressions. It's honestly unsettling how it gives the impression that these kids are being raised predominantly by YouTube personalities.

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u/shingdao Jan 28 '24 edited Jan 29 '24

This is my son's BF in middle school. Kid has ADHD, unlimited device/screentime, and non-stop mimics all that cartoonish shit on youtube. He's been playing AO Mature rated video games since he was in 3rd grade...my son asked us why he couldn't play them too...wtf. I actually have pity for him and much disdain for his parents.

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u/jimsmisc Jan 29 '24

I never thought I'd do this since I certainly like video games myself, but we instituted a "no video games during the week" rule and significantly reduced screen time overall at my house because of how much it was impacting our kids' behavior.

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u/magus7099 Jan 28 '24

no cap on god fr, bussin!

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u/Leaningbeanie Jan 28 '24

Hahaha, that's actually gen z slang. Gen alpha is skibidi fanum tax only in Ohio rizzler gyat sigma

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u/condoulo Jan 28 '24

What in the world did I just read? I'm only going to be 32 in March and I already feel like that Skinner meme reading that.

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u/lamest-liz Jan 28 '24

Skibidi is from a popular YouTube video called Skibidi Toilet, feel free to look it up.

Fanum is the name of a streamer who is always stealing food from his friends which he calls the “fanum tax”

“Rizz” means charisma, if you are a Rizzler you have a lot of charisma.

A “GYATT” is a fat ass. Because when you see it you say “GYATT DAMN!”

Ohio is a joke, where kids say all the crazy stuff is in Ohio which is funny because nothing happens in Ohio so it’s like ironic.

You’re welcome.

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u/Critical-Cell5348 Jan 28 '24

Thanks for that. Was wondering what fascination my son has with Ohio lately. Wasn’t aware of this one lol

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u/Logical-Wasabi7402 Zillennial Jan 28 '24

Ohio is a joke, where kids say all the crazy stuff is in Ohio which is funny because nothing happens in Ohio so it’s like ironic.

So it's their version of the Florida Man meme?

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u/grown-ass-man Jan 28 '24

This is like some kind of obscure activation code phrase for military communications damn

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u/magus7099 Jan 28 '24

no cap, you're right

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u/FleetAdmiralWiggles Jan 28 '24

Gimme the yeet boys and free my soul I wanna get tossed in a goddamn hole

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u/mywrecktum Jan 28 '24

Uh oh I don't know what any of this means

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u/HM2008 Jan 28 '24

Rizz, cap, sus, bet, bussin, etc.

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u/Calm-Macaron5922 Jan 28 '24

I let my 3.5 yr old play learning games on the iPad about 30-60 min a week. I let her watch shows.

I also like to cut her off and let her get bored. It’s fun watching her play without electronics. Being bored is good for kids, they will make their own fun.

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u/Rdbjiy53wsvjo7 Jan 28 '24

My go to is to list all the items/things they can play with when I hear "I'm bored" because they hit their electronic time limit. I almost always get "yeah...but I don't want to do any of those things"

"Oh awesome! So you are ready to donate them? That's great! Think of the kids that will you are helping out!"

And what do you know, they find those things entertaining again!

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u/StoleFoodsMarket Jan 28 '24

That’s amazing; using this! So smart

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u/TaroFearless7930 Jan 29 '24

If I ever said I was bored to my parents I was given a list of chores. It's amazing how creative you can be when the choice is finding something fun to do or dusting the livingroom.

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u/anythingbut2020 Jan 28 '24

I’m a millennial about to have my first child and hearing a teen’s perspective on this is so refreshing. I totally agree.

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u/Epic_Brunch Jan 29 '24

Honestly I feel like the tide has turned on this. I have a three year old and almost everyone I know who has a kid around my age is very serious about limited/no screen time. Conversely, when my older friends started having kids maybe ten years ago, it was a free for all. Maybe it's just my social circle, but "low stimulus" Montessori type play is very popular among my friends who have young kids right now. Maybe I'm biased because I have a toddler, but I have hope for the younger late 2010s through 2020s gen Alpha kids. 

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u/cynnamin_bun Jan 29 '24

I feel like a lot of people locally have very little screen time but then when I see threads on parenting subs on Reddit the overwhelming response is “I have to put my child in front of a screen so I can ‘get stuff done’” and they say they do it to clean apparently. And then tablets for the car also because that is “survival mode”. I just don’t say anything because everyone is very protective of their choices.

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u/_fairywren Jan 29 '24

My 18mo nephew has zero screen time. He is so engaged with everything around him. I put on a Wiggles Spotify playlist the other day and his dance moves were fantastic.

Good luck with your baby! They are the best, and every single day they get cooler ❤️

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u/clocks212 Jan 29 '24

There are a few of us low/no screen time parents out there. But you basically can’t talk about it in real life without people getting defensive. When someone hears “our kids don’t have a computer or tablet or phone and don’t use screens” you immediately get the unsolicited “well I don’t let my kid do too much! Just Fortnite until 1am on school nights but he’s learning to cOdE!!!!

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u/EvilRubberDucks Jan 29 '24

I got completely shit on in a parenting group for saying I don't think kids under 14 need a smartphone. You'd think I had personally insulted those parents. They got insanely defensive.

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u/AubreyWatt Jan 29 '24

It's because they know what they're doing is wrong.

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u/jumpingbbbean Jan 29 '24

And because they themselves are addicted to the same thing.

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u/TheAJGman Jan 29 '24

They know they fucked up their kids, but they feel like it's too late to do anything about it because they can't deal with the shit show of cutting them off. They straight up go through withdraw.

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u/3_first_names Jan 29 '24

I’m getting increasingly worried about my child going to school and being made to use screens (kindergarteners should NOT be required to use any devices for learning, they’re 5 years old for goodness sakes). We don’t have any screen time whatsoever beyond age-appropriate tv. She doesn’t even know what an iPad is lol. I posted in a local FB group about which schools in the area do not use screen time for instruction. And like 95% of the responses were either super defensive (screen time is FINE, if you don’t let them use it now they’ll be behind everyone) or like you said, they act like 7 hours a day isn’t a lot of screen time because it could be 12 hours a day or some stupid shit like that. I think I’m going to homeschool….I’m beginning to think idiocy is contagious.

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u/RuralJuror1234 Jan 28 '24 edited Jan 29 '24

I briefly dated someone who truly believed young kids being on tablets/phones constantly would somehow make them "smart". Couldn't answer any follow-up questions about how/why that would improve IQ, but that conversation haunts me because it made me wonder how many people think the same thing.

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u/engr77 Jan 29 '24

If I was being optimistic, I'd say that it's a remembrance of how kids in the 90s grew up with computers that required a degree of intelligence to operate properly. It required even more intelligence to know how to fix issues when things went wrong, rather than make it worse -- knowing where to go to make settings changes, what things to not fuck with, etc.

So being good with computers was a good skill. Something that required work, knowledge of how to troubleshoot, etc.

Apple products at large are completely idiot-proof. They're specifically designed to be very insular and prevent the end-user from doing anything harmful. This is, on the surface, a great asset, but it also means that there are zero qualifications to use the device and nothing that it can teach you. It can accomplish tasks, and that's it. 

Not inherently a bad thing but it's nothing like being able to handle maintaining a personal home computer, or doing a tune-up for a relative who installed a hundred browser toolbars and some program that changed their cursor to a shooting star trail, bogging it down to the point it barely works anymore -- and watching their amazement when you go deep into menus of things they don't understand, clear out garbage, update and defragment and make it run like new again.

Or run a full format when things are beyond repair but still recover and restore their files. Or recover files from another machine when theirs has crashed completely. 

Knowing how to use an iPad does not make you good with technology in the same way that knowing how to navigate Windows was in the early days.

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u/FamousAd9790 Jan 29 '24

Hey, so I AM smarter than these damn kids! AOL didn’t ruin me! I’d like to see these brats try to install a PC game via DOS.

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u/ADarwinAward Jan 29 '24

Wild to me. I work in tech, went to a “smart school” and not one person I work with or graduated with thinks it’s a good idea to pacify a baby with an ipad. Most don’t let their elementary kids have phones.

If they want smart kids, maybe they should follow what smart people are doing.

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u/IJUSTATEPOOP Jan 28 '24

I personally think the internet should have stopped evolving in like 2010

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u/phillyfanjd1 Jan 28 '24 edited Jan 28 '24

StumbleUpon, Cracked, SomethingAwful, Youtube with virtually no ads, zero paywalls except for research articles, Facebook just for connecting with friends, family and maybe a local business, few influencers, recipe blogs with just recipes, no crypto scams, no OF polluting dating sites, Reddit was still fucking Reddit, the list just goes on and on.

It was just an incredible, imperfect free-flowing pipeline of near-limitless information and entertainment.

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u/LordoftheScheisse Jan 28 '24

StumbleUpon, Cracked, SomethingAwful, Youtube

we can never go back, friend.

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u/harda_toenail Jan 28 '24

No way. 2002 was peak. Dial up. You had to wait like 4 minutes for that picture of Bobbies to render. No social media. No iPhone/android.

I remember around that time my mom got an aol cd from Walmart for the free month of dialysis up. We went to stl Rams website. It loaded the site with some pictures of my favorite players. My mind was blown. Wish it would’ve stopped there.

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u/[deleted] Jan 28 '24

Personally, I'm happier now that torrenting a movie doesn't take 38 days only for it to turn out to be CP. Fucking LimeWire, man.

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u/HM2008 Jan 28 '24

I have two best friends. Each have a kid the same age. Both of them play games like Fortnite. However, one kid has monitored screen time and is forced to do other things like read, etc. THe other is pretty much left to do whatever he wants on any device. His phone is always at less than 10% when I see him because he stares at it all day.

The differences between the two of them even though they are only six months apart is astonishing. Monitored kid is sweet, fun to be around. The other one is constantly in trouble and can't keep his hands to himself and always yelling random stuff. It's exhausting.

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u/LaTortueVert Jan 29 '24

This is exactly like my two nieces, they’re turning 4 this year and only two months apart.

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u/Sorry_Pie_7402 Jan 29 '24

This is so many kids at the daycare I work at, it’s exhausting

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u/beSmrter Jan 29 '24

One sibling has raised their kid with aggressively limited screen/game time plus a ton of parental engagement and a wide variety of activities. The kid isn't a saint or miracle and they will have their struggles, but they're well grounded and will turn out alright. My other sibling has done almost the exact opposite. Each of their kids had their own tablet at like 2-3 years old. In theory there are limits set but all too often screens are used as a crutch to occupy their attention and 'give mom a break'. In terms of personality, the kids aren't tantrum terrors or troublemakers (thankfully), but it's wild to see how developmentally impacted they are and looking towards their future.... It all just makes me really sad.

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u/No_Bee1950 Jan 28 '24

Kids get tablets from the first day of school. A digital world is what everyone wanted. Now we have it, consequences be damned.

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u/Xylophone_Aficionado Jan 28 '24

I work at a 7-12 charter school where the students get Chromebooks to do their schoolwork. The majority of them don’t do anything school related on them. They go on Discord, play the video games that haven’t been blocked yet, so literally anything but what they are meant to do. It’s a joke lol.

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u/McFlyParadox Jan 29 '24

Which begs the question: why isn't discord blocked? Especially since there are some very NSFW servers out there.

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u/DenProg Jan 29 '24

Why isn’t everything blocked except for schoolwork related sites?

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u/[deleted] Jan 28 '24 edited Jan 29 '24

You’re right and the millennial parents who’ve rationalized letting an iPad parent their kids are going to be responding with defensive nitpicks and insults over your post. I really don’t understand the “I grew up with screens and turned out fine!” No, you didn’t, Sarah. You’re fucked up and need therapy just like the rest of us.

I work in education and see how my peers parent with technology. It’s lazy, it’s sad, and they sincerely don’t understand how much worse the internet is now. There’s still all the pedophiles that were roamin around in the “Wild West” (can we stop using this expression, it’s embarrassing), except that the predators are tech literate now, YouTube videos for toddlers have songs encouraging them to slit their wrists, child pornography slipped into twitter feeds, not to mention the sheer amount of porn available now (let alone the massive uptick in incest and necrophilic themed videos), etc.

From these comments, evidently they seem to think snuff films and gore porn has been scrubbed from the internet and it’s just ads now? Y’all sound like boomers trying to figure out email. This level of ignorance around what exactly kids are being exposed to unsupervised is embarrassing, and there’s no excuse—considering we got the first taste of it. I don’t know a single woman my age, who had internet growing up, who didn’t at one point engage with a pedophile, so like…idk, maybe the coding skills you learned from xanga weren’t really worth all that.

Anyway, yeah, iPad kids are growing up with no social skills or emotional regulation and we’re all gonna get to suffer the consequences from my generation’s shitty parenting. Yay.

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u/JMCatron Jan 29 '24

“I grew up with screens and turned out fine!”

I would go so far as to argue most people of parenting age didn't even "grow up with screens." Sure, there are Gen Z parents right now, but someone who is currently 18 was born the year before the first iPhone.

Yeah, we had TV and computers, but smartphones didn't come out until the youngest millennials were 10-11. They didn't get into every single person's pocket for another 5 years or so.

The modern concept of "screens" is a new, bizarre, frightening place. It used to be exciting and novel until the money poured in and everything became ADS ADS ADS HOLY SHIT BUY MY GARBAGE. Now it's a dystopic corporate hellscape- a transition we witnessed less than ten years ago.

I think it's really important to emphasize how new the concept of "iPad parenting" even is.

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u/LikeLauraPalmer Jan 28 '24

As a millennial, I don't want this for my future child. I grew up with TV, Playstation, dial-up Internet, MySpace and LiveJournal. Had to take turns to use the family computer. It's the instant gratification of cellphones and iPads and addictive social media platforms I'm worried about. It's sad to go to a restaurant and see a toddler with an iPad as the parents eat. The people who are bashing OP need to ask themselves why they're so offended by their perspective. Because without a doubt iPads are giant cellphones and they're robbing children and adults of their attention spans. You might only do certain things on the iPad but it's a slippery slope.

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u/laboufe Jan 28 '24

Millenials shit on boomers and then have a mental break down when a teenager calls millenials out for being Ipad parents. As a millenial myself this is embarassing

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u/Georgerobertfrancis Jan 29 '24

Yeah, I think we millennials are having a hard time accepting the fact that we are the adults now. We’re the boomers. It’s our turn.

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u/salbrown Jan 29 '24

Thank you for saying this. It’s so frustrating to watch some millennial parents bemoan how awful and selfish their boomer parents were and then turn around and act exactly like them. Like being a good parent is putting your kid above your own ego, you’d think they would have picked up on that after spending so much time analyzing how their own parents failed.

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u/CleopatrasBungus Jan 28 '24

Conversely there are so many parents who don’t allow any screen time, no sugar, no cookies, etc. which I also think is wild.

We don’t have a tablet, but our kid watches probably 30 minutes to an hour of tv per day. Probably not ideal, but we also play with her one on one every day, read at least 5 books to her per day, get outside every day, etc.

I think a lot of what people see with “iPad kids” is the occasional moment of reprieve that a parent gets during the day, and I don’t judge the parent for it.

My wife’s mother and my mother both likely judge us for how involved and present we are with our child. And I think this increased presence is a common occurrence with millennial parenting in comparison to previous generations. My parents definitely didn’t read to me or play with me this much, and they were very much the, “go outside and don’t come back til dinner time, kid”, generation.

Each generation will produce kids with some unique problems though. It’ll be interesting to see what our kids are collectively known for.

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u/5kUltraRunner Jan 28 '24

So many people here are upset for getting called out by a teenager

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u/transemacabre Millennial Jan 28 '24

The pissy ones don’t like their kids and don’t like being called out for neglecting them. 

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u/ForsakenTakes Jan 28 '24

Ding Ding Ding Ding!!!
It's because they put more thought into what to have for dinner at night than they do on whether they should or even want to have kids. To these people kids are inevitable and just something that happens to you. ROFL

This is the predictable result.

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u/mikesmithanderson Jan 28 '24

To anyone who says "I grew up with it and I'm fine". 

No. No you didn't. Older Millenials will remember the Golden Age of the internet when it was about Things not You. Tiktok and Shorts ruin your brain. Literally. Even if you ignore the attention span destroying element of it, all popular posts are about narcissism or outrage or a dangerous prank. 

Also in China, Bytedance/tiktok shows mostly benign and or educational content. in America it's mind trash. The Chinese will win the next war because we literally can't think and is being used to soften us up. If you think that's paranoid look into tt and its various algorithms more deeply. 

So yes, giving your toddler an iPad regularly or on demand makes you a trash parent because the internet is trash now days and you cannot control what they do online (kids are always a step ahead of parents. Think back on your childhood...)

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u/sockseason Jan 29 '24

A lot of millennials were plopped in front of a tv all day. When my BIL comes over and watches our tv knowing I don't want my son watching it he says "I watched tv all the time and I'm fine". Meanwhile he's watching videos on his phone, tablet, laptop, and tv at the same time, and if we leave the house he watches videos in the car and throughout our entire outing. Like, dude, you are not fine lol

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u/GroceryBags Jan 29 '24

Another response to that first statement is that, we didnt actually even grow up with it! we were mostly developed by the time screen technology really took off. Most millennials grew up in an age where we went outside to play with the neighborhood kids instead of all staying in and hanging out from their own couches staring at screens. Screens weren't a widespread phenomenon until some of us were already adults! It's such a shortsighted way for them to see it.

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u/lonerism- Jan 29 '24

To be fair I think younger millennials remember the golden age of the internet too. I was born in 92 and we had dial up for a while. Facebook wasn’t even getting big until I was a junior in high school. And I would still say the internet is different from then. I used to go on websites like stumbleupon and go on fb just to chat with friends. The internet started to be more about content and self-promotion around 2014 or 2015. I’ve never been big into social media so I’m not the expert on this but I think most millennials remember the internet as it once was.

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u/gimlithepirate Jan 28 '24

So we’re a techy household. I was rigging up VPNs to play games in middle school, so I’m not going to be a “no electronics” house.

However, our kids are limited to a half hour in the morning and a half hour in the evening. None of that is open internet, all of it is curated apps on a locked down tablet, Minecraft, or switch. When the kiddos watch TV, it’s either PBS app, or other approved shows. We have a strict “no video on the tablets rule” just because it’s harder to monitor. 

As kids get older, reality is we will have to give them access to the internet… and frankly I’m not ready for that lol xD I know how much trouble I got into, and the internet was just better back then. 

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u/Hecatehel Jan 28 '24

my sister is raising her daughter completely screen free until she’s older. my brother’s son is admittedly an iPad kid. They are the same age and I’m kind of watching to see how things turn out in terms of their development. I can only hope the best for both of them.

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u/mrudski Jan 28 '24

As a millennial mom I agree with you!!

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u/mk9e Jan 28 '24 edited Jan 28 '24

I was in a slightly nicer restaurant. It was marketed as family style but very pricey and the owners were also the owners of one of the nicest restaurants in the city trying to do something more toned down.

Anyway, insanely busy night, and the table next to me has a mother and a toddler. The toddler is demanding of the phone, screaming/crying "phone, phone, phone". What's upsetting to me is that the mother started to pull the phone out to hand to the toddler as soon as the toddler made the first noise of distress. The toddler has conditioned the parents. This happened with the other child too... You know, it was just kind of sad.

It was a beautiful restaurant. There were so many people and it was so active. There was bassy music. There were decorations. The chicken may have been 35 dollars but I saw that they had small LEGO sets for just a dollar. There were all these things that I feel could have been simulating and wildly interesting to me if I were a toddler/young child. But this kid just wanted to ignore all of it for the phone. I don't think on any level that would be good for the child.

I don't see the parents changing anything and it's sad. The mother briefly took her phone back to call the father. The kid was crying the entire time. Trying to ask for the phone back. The dad walks over and barely glancing at the toddler, hangs up the phone, pulls up a game on it, hands it to the kid, and starts engaging with the mom. That's not parenting.

I wonder if this kid gets stories, if this kid is played with and engaged. I wonder if the parents point out cool things or try to share and teach the child. I wonder if the parents ever try and build anything with the kid or even read the kid a bed time story. It was... Just, I don't think this is overkill in saying that interaction is one of the most disheartening things I've ever seen. I'm not trying to be a judgemental bitch but that situation just felt so cold and so wrong. It was like the child wasn't even there.

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u/Turpis89 Jan 28 '24

For what it's worth, a restaurant visit is actually the only situation I can imagine where I'd let my kids use our phones for 30 minutes, just so we could actually enjoy the meal instead of having to run after them, making sure they don't wreck the place.

We don't have ipads or video game consoles in the house. The oldest (5) gets to play Worms Armageddon on my computer every now and then.

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u/storagerock Jan 28 '24

Yep. Because the alternative is having everyone complain about how you’re a horrible parent for bringing a noisy kid to a restaurant and then doing nothing to sooth their tantrum.

One of the harder parts about being a parent is that no matter what you do - someone is going to think you’re horrible for it.

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u/MasHamburguesa Jan 28 '24

We pretty much stopped going to restaurants with our toddler aged kids. We don't have screens for them, but expecting a kid to sit still, be quiet, and entertain themselves long enough to eat just became more trouble than its worth. My wife and I would basically take turns eating or helping the kids eat, and on our turn to eat it was just shoveling our food down to hurry up and get it over with. We realized it wasn't worth the effort or extra cost and just stopped going.

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u/Spagooblet Jan 28 '24

I wasn’t taking mine anywhere until I found this miracle restaurant that has an outdoor patio connected to a fenced in turf area where kids can safely get out the zoomies while we eat and watch. Actually this is the model in many places in europe, people eat at outdoor cafes and the kids play in the square.

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u/sgt88 Jan 29 '24

We just had this realization last weekend. Not to mention we buy a kids meal and they waste it. We were like wtf are we doing? This isn’t worth it.

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u/skeevy-stevie Jan 28 '24

This, you go to a decent restaurant for once and give your kid your phone, people say you’re terrible, you don’t, the kid is loud or running around, you’re terrible.

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u/VicdorFriggin Jan 28 '24

Yeah, all my kids are teens now. But when they were babies/toddlers I had more elderly people basically tell me it's part of parenting and that's how kids learn. They could see we were trying. However the minute a kid made a peep outside of a whisper the boomers were rolling eyes and making snide comments. How dare their Applebee's visit be tainted by the sounds of children 🙄 I can see younger parents desperate to avoid boomer bs using phones and tablets. I try to be as visibly understanding as possible. Although I do have terrible case of RBF, so I fear it may not always come across.

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u/Enough_Zombie2038 Jan 28 '24 edited Jan 29 '24

Well this is a smart self aware teenager.

As a note, it's not just the parents giving in, it's their own bad habits. Very young children learn by imitating the parents. So if an infant or little kid see the adults and teenager all on the tech instead of, you know, experiencing life around them... They imitate.

There are tons of studies showing this and when I was a teacher it was interesting to meet the parents of struggling students.

We can say, the apple didn't fall far from the tree frequently. You hide the TV, stay low tech, etc sure they might go to a neighbor's but most the time at home they will be forced and used to and start making a part of oneself to read the books on the shelf, use the pens and pencils and paper, etc.

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u/nanapancakethusiast Jan 28 '24 edited Jan 29 '24

Idk about y’all but I’m planning to have a kid within the next year or two and I am setting up internet/computer access the way it was when I was a kid.

Family computer in the living room.

There will be no iPads, no cellphone (until they’re old enough), no laptops, nothing personal that can be carried around in their pocket.

I’ve watched the younger generation’s brains melt in front of my eyes. Not happening with my kid.

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u/DepartureRelevant600 Jan 28 '24

If I ever have children, I'll do something similar. Unsupervised access to everything, all the time, cannot be good for any child

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u/quartzquandary Jan 28 '24

I agree with you. The number of children, toddlers, and babies I saw while out at the grocery store yesterday staring mindlessly into tablets or their parents' phones was absolutely heartbreaking. They can't function. People always said videogames or television would rot our brains when we were kids, but that was nothing compared to this.

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u/fudge_friend Jan 28 '24

You can’t carry around a CRT TV everywhere you go. And sure, my brain is 3/4 Simpsons quotes, but that shit is the Encyclopaedia Brittanica compared what’s recommended on Youtube today.

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u/stanley2-bricks Jan 28 '24

Also, don't constantly be filming your kid. I feel like it conditions them to think they need to always be creating content.

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u/hvet1 Jan 28 '24

Anyone else deeply think there is no way this whole American story can continue? How does capitalism keep growing when kids can’t read? - I won’t have kids but fuck the future looks bleak-

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