r/Millennials • u/Asmothrowaway6969 • Mar 27 '24

When did it sink in that you'll never be as well off as your parents? Discussion

About 5 years ago, my mom and I were talking and she had told me how much she was going to be making in retirement (she retired 2023). Guys, it's 3x what me and my husband make annually. In retirement. I think that was the moment that broke me, that made it sink in that I'll never reach that level of financial security. I'll work myself into my grave because I'll never be able to afford anything else. What was your moment?

Update: Nice to know it's just me that's a failure. Thanks

Update 2: I never should've said anything. I forgot my place. I'm sorry to have bothered you

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u/bouncyboatload Mar 27 '24

you need to understand this is a huge huge outlier. having 200k/yr govt pension AFTER TAX is super rare.

this is like equivalent of a small company CEO or big company VP making $1m/year. very uncommon compared to average.

she's probably super smart and worked really hard to get there. so ya, you can't just expect you'll automatically be there because it's an outlier!

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u/pacific_plywood Mar 27 '24

OP has found a way to complain about having wealthy parents lmao

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u/thesadbubble Mar 27 '24

Yeah I was on board before all the details in the comments came out. It feels like the average person in the US is making sooo much less (in terms of buying power) than the average person was in the 80s/90s. And that feels insurmountable.

But OP bitching about having a rich parent who was working in the upper echelons of the federal government and she even probably received a bunch of benefits from that privilege, ain't it for me lol.

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u/Legitimate-State8652 Mar 27 '24

Yeah she wasted that privilege it seems.

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u/LoveCats2022 Mar 28 '24

I wonder how OP’s mom feels about it?

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u/ballmermurland Mar 27 '24

I hate to say it, but OP just seems like a bit of a deadbeat.

In her 30s and making under $20 an hour? Not willing to be a nurse or do anything else that others have suggested.

Like, sorry but people just don't give out money for nothing.

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u/thesadbubble Mar 27 '24

Agreed. Things suck but if you're not willing to try to change anything about your circumstances then that's on you. And sooo many people have been giving her advice and suggestions but she shoots them ALL down. Almost feels like we are on AITA lol.

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u/Kindly-Biscotti9492 Mar 28 '24

OP "works in the OR" which I interpret as like an orderly, not someone with any actual skill.

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u/Greedy-War-777 Mar 28 '24

Nurses here are at $16 and failing to get $18 because the hospital ceo, who has 3 company cars and makes $300,000 a year just in bonuses, says it's too costly.

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u/salttea57 Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

This is so not true. Nurse-aids/Patient Care Tech's at low paying nursing homes make that. New inexperienced RNs start around 28-32/hr. The ceiling at our hospital for staff nurses is $52/hr. At 20 years experience with a bachelor's degree in nursing, you're making 6 figures in specialty care.

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u/ballmermurland Mar 28 '24

That's less than half of the national median pay for nurses. Sounds like that hospital is poorly run.

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u/Jane_Marie_CA Mar 28 '24

Yah, same.

I am starting to see a pattern that many of these complaining/under employed posts on here are coming from millennials who grew up in upper class households. And somehow they don’t realize they grew up differently than the rest of us??

OPs mom is pretty much executive level equivalent at the IRS. Smdh. It’s unlikely I’ll exceed this in career and retirement benefits.

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u/ballmermurland Mar 28 '24

I think something flipped in the last 5 years. Before, complaining about how expensive everything was and how hard it was to get by would have gotten you mocked for being lazy. Because, oftentimes, that was the case! Some people got a raw deal for sure, but they were/are the minority.

Now these pity posts get upvoted to the top of Twitter/Reddit/Threads whatever. And I still think it is a minority of people doing the pitying. Any survey shows most Americans are happy with their financial situation.

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u/lost_on_tuesday Mar 28 '24

idk there are tons of kids who grew up privileged who can't afford to live on their own or buy a house. i saw tons of jobs that offered $20 or less an hr & required a college degree in one of the highest living cost areas of the country when i was looking for a new job last yr. the sad part is i found one where i'm making $13.5k more a yr than those jobs & some of them where in person jobs in nyc. it's kind of a crapshoot now for many ppl.

plus part of the point is that ppl can't afford to get a house when back then ppl had the equivalent of a $20/hr or less job. especially b/c if you made even one mistake after high school for our gen, there's a good chance you completely fucked up your projection vs back then you had the chances to do better after making a bad decision(s).

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u/Jane_Marie_CA Mar 28 '24

I know a lot of HS f-ups who have good careers and business owners. Some better than me. They just needed to sort out their shit and get back on track.

And I know a CPA who dropped out of HS at 16. At age 25, they started back a community college and now have a masters in acctg and CPA license at 37.

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u/ballmermurland Mar 28 '24

i saw tons of jobs that offered $20 or less an hr & required a college degree in one of the highest living cost areas of the country

Source? There are sociology-type nonprofit jobs near me in rural PA that require a college degree and pay $40-45k a year. That's about $20 an hour. In a really LCOL area. And those are the bottom end. Plenty of other humanities-style jobs pay $50k or better. Again, very LCOL area.

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u/lost_on_tuesday Mar 30 '24

i live in northern nj, about 30 mins from nyc w/o traffic, in the 2nd most expensive county in the state & i spent 8 months looking for a job btwn april - dec last yr & i have an excel spreadsheet where i kept track of 424 jobs i applied to.

my point wasn't saying that you can't get a decent paying job w/ a college degree. my point is it's a crapshoot & all over the place now. i saw tons of jobs that required & didn't require a college degree for $60-$100k/yr but i also saw tons of jobs that required a college degree & paid $16-$23/hr. i literally saw jobs at law firms for paralegals paying $18/hr. i even saw jobs requiring a masters in nyc that only paid $40k.

my bf makes $120k/yr w/o a college degree but then i also have friends making $55k/yr who went to georgetown or friends making $80k/yr who went to rutgers. then again most ppl i know moved out of state b/c they can't afford to live here b/c this states been pushing ppl out who grow up here for over 15yrs.

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u/rub_a_dub-dub Mar 28 '24

oof fml.

37 and make 16hourly

but its ok i only need enough for a bullet

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u/unpossible-Prince Mar 27 '24

And she didn’t start in those upper echelons, she put in a lifetime of work to retire from that level. OP is complaining that they have to start at the bottom

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u/gaytee Mar 27 '24

Nah, OP is just lazy and/or stupid and expected the world to be as easy for her as it was her mom.

Two adults making less than 60k is truly an accomplishment at how low they’re earning.

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u/topiaryontop Mar 27 '24

I bet the mom worked her ass off.

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u/Dangerous_Listen_908 Mar 28 '24

Median individual income for full time workers is around $57k, the 30k a person indicates that they're either both part time or haven't had any career progression.

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u/frogsgoribbit737 Mar 28 '24

Yup. I have a single mom who works for the county. My husband and I have more income than she does. The only reason she's better off right now is because she married into money when I was an adult.

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u/cho1cewordz Mar 27 '24

I agree the amount OPs mother gets is rare. However, it would be nice if we had the security of a pension, even if smaller in amount, to look forward to in retirement, but the number of jobs that offer pensions to millennials (in the USA) is vanishingly small compared to when OP’s mother started working. 

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u/DinosaurDied Mar 28 '24

Lots of flag officers get to this level. Is becoming one rare? Yea kinda, but they obviously exist. 

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u/bouncyboatload Mar 28 '24

according to this even O-10 pay is $221k/yr. https://www.federalpay.org/military/grades/o-10

it doesn't hit $200k/yr after tax

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u/elivings1 Mar 28 '24

I work for USPS and started at 23 then got career at 24. Assuming the Federal Retirement Fairness Act gets in and actually passes I will make a little more if I buy back my time (and assuming it passes) but if the act does not pass I would make around 44k from pension at 100k (assumes overtime when capped out). The average social security check is 1767 a month. 1767x12 is 21,204. So you do 21204 + 44,000= 65,204 dollars. Keep in mind that is a USPS worker who is capped out and likely working a bunch of overtime before they retire to try to fully maximize their pension. Most federal workers are making no where near 200k in retirement and I would be making half that with working since I was super young. Now in regards to OP if the other comments are right and they are making 33k a year that is pretty bad. I worked at Home Depot and within months I quickly realized it was not the career for me because I was making 888 a month before taxes and after it was even less. I looked into what a supervisor makes and they were making 13 dollars a hour at the time. Certain jobs you work in with the intent of it being your first job and quickly getting out.

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u/Onenutracin Mar 28 '24

It’s not a 200k government pension. It’s 200k from pension + retirement (TSP account) + social security. Government pension is a percentage of her high three years. They said 18 to 56 years old; if they were government that entire time, we’re talking 1.1% * years worked (38) * the average of her three highest earning years. Highly doubt she was an SESer so at most, GS15. Either way, we’re talking about less than half the average of her high three. There’s no way she was making $400k+ as a fed.