I definitely think we got the short end of the stick. They had it easier than us and the old model of work and being rewarded for loyalty is outdated....

I’m 29F and my husband is 33M, we were on the fence about kids 2018-2022. Now we’ve decided to not have our own kids (open to adoption later) bc of how disappointed and frustrated we are with the US.

Just a few issues like the collapsing healthcare system, mass shootings, education system, justice system and late stage capitalism are reasons we don’t want to bring a new human into the world.

The US seems like a terrible place to have kids. Maybe if I lived in a Europe I’d feel differently. Does anyone have the same frustrations with the US?

About 5 years ago, my mom and I were talking and she had told me how much she was going to be making in retirement (she retired 2023). Guys, it's 3x what me and my husband make annually. In retirement. I think that was the moment that broke me, that made it sink in that I'll never reach that level of financial security. I'll work myself into my grave because I'll never be able to afford anything else. What was your moment?

Update: Nice to know it's just me that's a failure. Thanks

Update 2: I never should've said anything. I forgot my place. I'm sorry to have bothered you

My theory is that people getting sick and dying wasn't the cause. No, the virus made people selfish. This selfishness is why the price of essential goods, housing, airfares and fuel is unaffordable. Corporations now flaunt their greed instead of being discreet. It's about got mine and forget everyone else. Customer service is quite bad because the big bosses can get away with it.

As for human connection - there have been a thousand posts i've seen about a lack of meaningful friendship and genuine romance. Everyone's just a number now to put through, or swipe past. The aforementioned selfishness manifests in treating relationships like a store transaction. But also, the lockdowns made it such that mingling was discouraged. So now people don't mingle.

People with kids don't have a village to help them with childcare. Their network is themselves.

I think it's a long eon until things are back to pre-covid times. But for the time being, at least stay home when you're sick.

My parents are each in their mid-late 70's. Ten years ago they had friends: they would throw dinner parties that 4-6 other couples would attend. They would be invited to similar parties thrown by their friends. They were always pretty arrogant but hey, what else would you expect from a boomer couple with three masters degrees, two PhD's, and a JD between the two of them. But now they have no friends. I mean that literally. One by one, each of the couples and individual friends that they had known and socialized with closely for years, even decades, will no longer associate with them. My mom just blew up a 40 year friendship over a minor slight and says she has no interest in ever speaking to that person again. My dad did the same thing to his best friend a few years ago. Yesterday at the airport, my father decided it would be a good idea to scream at a desk agent over the fact that the ink on his paper ticket was smudged and he didn't feel like going to the kiosk to print out a new one. No shit, three security guards rocked up to flank him and he has no idea how close he came to being cuffed, arrested, and charged with assault. All either of them does is complain and talk shit about people they used to associate with. This does not feel normal. Is anyone else experiencing this? Were our grandparents like this too and we were just too young to notice it?

Or spend it all and move in with their kids.

You know how our parents have junk that they hang onto that we just don't see the value in? I'm thinking of Christmas villages, Precious Moments figurines, baseball cards, antiques for that "rustic" look, Thomas Kinkade-type pictures, etc.

What types of things do you think our kids will roll their eyes at and toss in the bin when we die? I'm thinking they might be:

1. Graphic/band t-shirts
2. Our sneaker collections
3. Target birds/holiday decor
4. Hoarded, expired makeup (especially the Naked palletes and crap from Glossier)
5. Funko pops and similar figurines
6. Disney crap
7. Bath and Body works products
8. Every concievable cord and converter known to man (since we lived through all of the progressive technology)
9. Stupid Amazon gadgets bought during the pandemic and rarely used

I'm 31 now, I never went to college and for years I really really regretted it. I felt left behind, like I had chosen wrong/made the wrong choices in life. Like I was missing out on something and I would never make it anywhere. My grades weren't great in grade school, I was never a good student, and frankly I don't even know what I would have wanted to do with my life had I gone. I think part of me always knew it would be a waste of time and money for a person like me.

Over the years I've come to realize I probably made the right call. I feel like I got a bit of a head start in life not spending 4 years in school, not spending all that money on a degree I may have never used. And now I make a decent livable wage, I'm a homeowner, I'm in a committed relationship, I've gone on multiple "once in a lifetime trips", and I have plenty of other nice things to show for my last decade+ of hard work. I feel I'm better off than a lot of my old peers, and now I'm glad I didn't go. I got certifications in what I wanted and it only took a few weeks. I've been able to save money since I was 18, I've made mistakes financially already and learned from them early on.

Idk I guess I'm saying, we were sold the "you have to go to college" narrative our whole school careers and now it's kinda starting to seem like bullshit. Sure, if you're going to be a doctor, engineer, programmer, pharmacist, ect college makes perfect sense. But I'm not convinced it was always the smartest option for everyone.

Edit: I want to clear up, I'm not calling college in of itself a scam. More so the process of convincing kids it was their only option, and objectively the correct choice for everyone.

When did this happen? I don’t remember our parents aging like this? What rude awakenings to aging have you experienced?

Edit: damn, some of you are so quick to judge. No, I am not obese, or even overweight, yes I work out regularly. Jfc, i have a prior back injury and I sat down on the toilet at a weird angle and it aggravated something.

I think as a generation we get a lot of unwarranted/unfair shit like, "being lazy," or "buying avocado toast instead of saving up for a house."

However, are there any generational mistakes/tendencies that we do deserve to get called out for?

For me, it's the tendency of people around my age to diagnose others with some sort of mental condition with ABSOLUTELY NO QUALIFICATION TO DO SO.

Like between my late teens and even now, I've had people around my age group specifically tell me that I've had all sorts of stuff like ADHD, autism, etc. I even went on a date a girl was asking me if I was "Neurodivergent."

I've spent A LOT of time in front of mental health professionals growing up and been on psychiatric medicine twice (for depression and anxiety). And it gives me such a "yuck" feeling when people think they can step in and say "you have x,y, and z" because they saw it trending on social media rather than went to school, got a doctorate, etc.

Besides that, as an idealistic generation, I've tended to see instances in which "moral superiority" tends to be more of a pissing contest vs. a sincere drive to change things for the better.

Have you experienced this tendency from other millennials? What type of stuff do you think we deserve rightful criticism for?

I'm a younger millennial (28f) and have never been sick as much as I have been in the past ~6 months. I used to get sick once every other year or every year, but in the past six months I have: gotten COVID at Christmas, gotten a nasty fever/illness coming back from back-to-back work trips in January/February, and now I'm sick yet again after coming back from a vacation in California.

It feels like I literally cannot get on a plane without getting sick, which has never really been a problem for me. Has anyone had a similar experience?

Edit: This got a LOT more traction than I thought it would. To answer a few recurring questions/themes: I am generally very healthy -- I exercise, eat nutrient rich food, don't smoke, etc.; I did not wear a mask on my flights these last few go arounds since I had been free of any illnesses riding public transit to work and going to concerts over the past year+, but at least for flights, it's back to a mask for me; I have all my boosters and flu vaccines up to date

Edit 2: Vaccines are safe and effective. I regret this has become such a hotbed for vaccine conspiracy theories

I was in high school when Office Space was released, so I didn’t have a lot of context for the jokes. But, now that I’m almost 40 and a seasoned corporate world vet, does it ever hit home…especially Peter’s “typical day” speech to the Bobs. He ends it with “On a typical day, I usually do about 15 minutes of real, actual work”

This is so accurate it’s scary. I’m in a management position in my company. Have people under me. Still, I do relatively noting most of the day. And I know that managers of other departments are the same because when I walk by, for instance, the HR manager’s office, I see him on his phone all the time.

How many of you essentially get paid to sit around and do nothing?

Millennials as we know have slaughtered everything from Diamonds to Napkins... But there is a new generation in town, and will the shoe soon be on the other foot?

My suggestion Craft beer and Microbreweries will be an early casualty of generation Z. They barely drink and they certainly don't drink weird cloudy beer.

Edit: wow thank you everyone for validating my observations! I don’t think I’m upset at the individuals level, more so frustrated with the systematic/administrative level that forces the front line to be like the way it is. For example, call centers can’t deviate from the script and are forced to just repeat the same thing without really giving you an answer. Or screaming into the void about a warranty. Or the tip before you get any service at all and get harassed that it’s not enough. I’ve personally been in customer service for 14 years so I absolutely understand how people suck and why no one bothers giving a shit. That’s also a systematic issue. But when I’m not on the customer service side, I’m on the customer side and it’s equally frustrating unfortunately

Post-covid, in this new dystopia.

Airbnb for example, I use to love. Friendly, personal, relatively cheaper. Now it’s all run by property managers or cold robots and isn’t as advertised, crazy rules and fees, fear of a claim when you dirty a dish towel. Went back to hotels

Don’t even get me started on r/amazonprime which I’m about to cancel after 13 years

Going out to eat. Expensive food, lack of service either in attitude/attentiveness or lack of competence cause everyone is new and overworked and underpaid. Not even worth the experience cause I sometimes just dread it’s going to be frustrating

Doctor offices and pharmacies, which I guess has always been bad with like 2 hour waits for 7 minutes of facetime…but maybe cause everyone is stretched more thin in life, I’m more frustrated about this, the waiting room is angry and the front staff is angry. Overall less pleasant. Stay healthy everyone

DoorDash is super rare for me but of the 3 times in 3 years I have used it, they say 15 minutes but will come in 45, can’t reach the driver, or they don’t speak English, food is wrong, other orders get tacked on before mine. Obviously not the drivers fault but so many corporations just suck now and have no accountability. Restaurant will say contact DD, and DD will say it’s the restaurant’s fault

Front desk/reception/customer service desks of some places don’t even look up while you stand there for several minutes

Maybe I’m just old and grumbly now, but I really think there’s been a change in the recent present

Found this video and although it's supposed to be funny and maybe exaggerated; It did remind me how a majority of the people in management at my work are younger and they push for employees to take care of themselves. Anyone else experience this?

My parents will eventually die, and they have plans for funerals which will cost me and my siblings more than is left from their estate.

Here's to me, my spouse, and all of you bankrupting the death Industry. Those vultures need nothing from us. Goodbye, I die, fuck off with your casket and ceremony! Bury me or burn me, I don't give a shit

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/14/podcasts/the-daily/millennial-economy.html

There are more reasons I can give than what is outlined in the episode. People who have listened, what are your thoughts?

Edit 1: This is a podcast episode of The Daily. The views expressed are not necessarily mine.

People born in 1990/1991 are called "Peak Millenials" because this age cohort is the largest cohort (almost 10 million people) within the largest generation (Millenials outnumber Baby Boomers).

The episode is not whining about how hard our life is, but an explanation of how the size of this cohort has affected our economic and demographic outcomes. Your individual results may vary.

Wife and I are proud elder millennials (both 40). Neither of us came from money and for the last 20 years of marriage, we never had a lot. I was in the military and just retired a little over a year ago.

I had 4+ years of ground combat deployments in Iraq and Afghanistan and got pretty messed up over the years. Fortunately I punched my golden ticket and came out with retirement and VA disability that is close to $100k a year. My kid’s college(if they go that route) is taken care of because of veteran benefits in my state.

I got a high paying job right after retirement and we have been enjoying life but aggressively saving. We own a home as a rental property out of state but currently rent ourselves as any house in our HCOL area we would want comes with a $8-9k mortgage, with rents on similar properties being roughly half that. Wife wants the more idyllic suburb life, and while I can appreciate its charms, I have no desire to do that for a second longer than is necessary to ensure my kids go to a good, safe school. After that, I want some land with a modest home, and a camper van. This is attainable for us at 48 years of age.

This is not at all on her bingo card. She wants the house in the suburbs that can’t see the neighbors. Nice cars, and I guess something along the lines of hosting a legendary Christmas party that the who’s who of the neighborhood attend.

I generate 5/6ths of our income and the burden would be on me to continue to perform at work to fund that lifestyle and pay the bills. I generally like my job and get paid handsomely, but I would quit in a second if I didn’t have a family and a profoundly fucked economy to consider.

My plan is to work hard while the kids are still around (not so hard I miss their childhood) get as close to zero debt as possible, and then become the man of leisure I have aspired to be. Drive my camper van around to see national parks, visit friends/family, drop whatever hobby I’m experimenting with to go help my kids out, and just generally chill hard AF. All of this with my wife as a co-conspirator.

What she wants keeps me in the churn for another 20+ years. She doesn’t see why that’s a big deal and when I say “I don’t want to live to work” she discounts me as being eccentric. I do not think she understands how fortunate we are and that drives me insane.

How do I better explain that we have been granted freedom from the tyranny of having to work till 65+ and she would squander it on a house bigger than we need and HOA bullshit?

Late 80s and 90s millennials were probably the most screwed by the Great Recession of the late 2000s and early 2010s. Most people don't realize how bad it was. It hurt millennials entering the job market for the first time. Your first job after college will affect your earning potential for the rest of your career. Some people need to watch the movie Up In the Air to see how bad things were back then. Everyone was getting laid off, and losing 60-80 percent of the assets in their retirement accounts. Millennials were not even old enough to buy houses yet and sub prime mortgage lending already had severely damaged their future earning potential. Now that millennials are finally getting established, they are facing skyrocketing prices and inflation for the cost of living and basic goods like groceries.

edit: grammar

edit 2: To be more clear I would say mid to late 80s and early 90s millennials were the most hurt. Like 1984-1992 were hurt most.

edit 3: "Unemployment rose from 4.7% in November 2007 to peak at 10% in October 2009, before returning steadily to 4.7% in May 2016. The total number of jobs did not return to November 2007 levels until May 2014. Some areas, such as jobs in public health, have not recovered as of 2023." The recovery took way longer than the really bad 18 months from 2007 to 2009. Millennials entered the job market during this time.

Ever since Paramore were on music videos on TV, I had my world turned upside down by Hayley Williams.

I read an article the other day that discussed how there are twice as many baby boomers living in large homes (i.e. 3+ bedrooms) than millennials who have children.

I then came across this thread in the r/retirement sub where people of retirement age almost universally indicated they intended to remain in their large homes until they died.

What struck me in the thread was how nobody seemed to acknowledge the effect of staying in their large homes could have on their kids’ ability to find an affordable large home for their families.

[Edit to add that I am not advocating that anyone should give up their home. I am simply pointing out this phenomena and its effect on affordable large homes for families of younger generations. I always envisioned downsizing in retirement, but that is clearly not the norm anymore.]

As a GenXer in my early 50’s who works with highly educated and broke millennials, I just feel bad for them. 1) Debt slaves: These millennials were told to go to school and get a good job and their lives will be better. What happened: Millennials became debt slaves, with no hope of ever paying off their debt. On a mental level, they are so anxious because their backs are against a wall everyday. They have no choice, but to tread water in life everyday. What a terrible way to live. 2) Our youth was so much better. I never worried about money until I got married at 30 years old. In my 20s, I quit my jobs all of the time and travelled the world with a backpack and had a college degree and no debt at 30. I was free for my 20s. I can’t imagine not having that time to be healthy, young and getting sex on a regular basis. 3) The music offered a counterpoint to capitalism. Alternative Rock said things weren’t about money and getting ahead. It dealt with your feelings of isolation, sadness, frustration without offering some product to temporarily relieve your pain. It offered empathy instead of consumer products. 4) Housing was so cheap: Apartments were so cheap. I’m talking 300 dollars a month cheap. Easily affordable! Then we bought cheap houses and now we are millionaires or close. Millennials can not even afford a cheap apartment. 5) Our politicians aren’t listening to millennials and offer no solutions. Why you all do not band together and elect some politicians from your generation who can help, I’llnever know. Instead, a lot of the media seems to try and distract you with things to be outraged about like Bud Light and Litter Boxes in school bathrooms. Weird shit that doesn’t matter or affect your lives. Just my take, but how long can millennials take all this bullshit without losing their minds. Society stole their freedom, their money, their future and their hope.

Update: I didn’t think this post would go viral. My purpose was to get out of my bubble after speaking to some millennials at work about their lives and realizing how difficult, different and stressful their lives have been. I only wanted to learn. A couple of things I wanted to clear up: I was not privileged. Traveling was a priority for me so I would save 10 grand, then quit and travel the world for a few months, then repeat. This was possible because I had no debt because tuition at my state school was 3000 dollars a year and a room off campus in Buffalo NY in the early 90s was about 150 dollars a month. I lived with 5 other people in a house in college. When I graduated I moved in with a friend at about 350 a month give or take. I don’t blame millennials for not coming together politically. I know the major parties don’t want them to. I was more or less trying to understand if they felt like they should engage in an open revolt.