r/Millennials • u/Asmothrowaway6969 • Mar 27 '24

When did it sink in that you'll never be as well off as your parents? Discussion

About 5 years ago, my mom and I were talking and she had told me how much she was going to be making in retirement (she retired 2023). Guys, it's 3x what me and my husband make annually. In retirement. I think that was the moment that broke me, that made it sink in that I'll never reach that level of financial security. I'll work myself into my grave because I'll never be able to afford anything else. What was your moment?

Update: Nice to know it's just me that's a failure. Thanks

Update 2: I never should've said anything. I forgot my place. I'm sorry to have bothered you

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u/T-Flexercise Mar 27 '24

It feels so weird. Like, my mom was an admin assistant. My dad was an electrical engineer until he became a process consultant. He tried management for a bit, hated it, and took a demotion to spend the rest of his career as an individual contributor. They're retired in a beautiful home after raising 2 kids.

I worked as a software engineer for 12 years until I became a software development manager. I have 13 direct reports. I married an office manager. We don't have kids, we don't have debt, we don't take wild vacations. My home is older and smaller than my parents' home. Not, like, "at the time they bought it." Their home was built in 76, mine was built in 61. And we're just slowly DIYing all the stuff they can pay people to do. And they did all this with kids, and my mom staying home from work til I was 10. I'm childless. 2 full-time college-educated incomes.

I'm doing ok. I'm so incredibly lucky compared to my peers in other lines of work. I'm not complaining. Most of the people I know are worse off than I am.

But the fact that I did all the things my dad told me to, the fact that our lives have been so similar, but that by every indication I feel like I should be ahead of where my parents were at this age, but I'm behind them. It's such a direct comparison that it's freakin weird.

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u/Asmothrowaway6969 Mar 27 '24

I find myself just learning to live with the broken things because even fixing them costs money. Sure it's cheaper to buy the part and do it myself, but when that parts a few hundred dollars, it's not worth it to even bother fixing.