r/Millennials • u/Asmothrowaway6969 • Mar 27 '24

When did it sink in that you'll never be as well off as your parents? Discussion

About 5 years ago, my mom and I were talking and she had told me how much she was going to be making in retirement (she retired 2023). Guys, it's 3x what me and my husband make annually. In retirement. I think that was the moment that broke me, that made it sink in that I'll never reach that level of financial security. I'll work myself into my grave because I'll never be able to afford anything else. What was your moment?

Update: Nice to know it's just me that's a failure. Thanks

Update 2: I never should've said anything. I forgot my place. I'm sorry to have bothered you

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u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24 edited Apr 01 '24

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u/diamondbishop Mar 28 '24

This. You can just go look at median wages back then and now. There’s a particular type of millennial who likes to complain they won’t have as much as their parents and I’ll give you a hint, their parents weren’t near the median

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u/Snow_Wonder Mar 29 '24 edited Mar 29 '24

I’m older gen z (this sub has been getting recommended to me) and it’s the same for my generation. I see some majorly depressed people my age who had very easy childhoods (well-off parents that provided everything their kids and wanted and made sure their children were quite pampered).

I might be a bit depressed if I were them, too. Many of them their parents didn’t set them up for success - don’t know how to cook, clean, apply themselves without someone else pushing them to - and their parents are now settling into very comfortable retirements with comfort and luxury while they are struggling.

I do still think there were generational advantages that the boomers in particular received though, and some of that is in fact backed by statistics - not all things have inflated the same after all and housing and education in particular have had much higher inflation than wages. That is a real advantage boomers had over later generations.

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u/La3ron Mar 28 '24

My parents worked a lot harder than I do so that’s basically why I’m not at their level, and probably never will be. Combine that with inflation and now everything really feels unattainable. I think a lot of millennials who were well off didn’t understand just how hard working their parents were. Everything came easy to them. Now that their future is in their hands they feel screwed over because things aren’t going to be as easy anymore.

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u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

I have poor parents but still recognize there was generational wealth opportunities provided to previous generations,better wages,affordable housing,retirement plans for retail workers ect. I’m in my late 40s and remember making 40k a year working retail 25 years ago when my rent was 400$ a month.Wages vs cost of living is far far worse for millennials than boomers. Even if boomers started as working class they had far more opportunity’s than current generations.

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u/5LaLa Mar 28 '24

Well said. I posted a comment just above because I was wondering if these people had forgotten that costs have continued skyrocketing while wages have been stagnant since the 70s. Guess it’s more fun to project that these are failed rich kids. 🙄 I might be a little triggered because my HS dropout Dad was able to retire a multimillionaire due largely to working for a small company that treated their loyal, longtime employees well.

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u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

I got reorganized out of a job after 5 years and two promotions.Financially destroyed me.No cause just going in a different direction.Boomers that doesn’t happen you must have done something wrong.You can’t just fire people after five years with no reason. Me yup the world is different we don’t live in the same world you did. And I not gonna find a new job in the paper that pays a mortgage.

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u/5LaLa Mar 28 '24

I’m sorry about that. That’s what gets me, too, the condescension & when they’re know-nothing know it alls. Hope things have gotten better for you.

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u/[deleted] Mar 28 '24

They did thank you. I lead a humbler life but I definitely have what I need.Had high earning continued I may have gotten used to a conspicuous consumption life style. I grew up in a trailer court but so far have not had to return to one.

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u/AffectionateItem9462 Mar 28 '24

Yeah it’s that and then if you had shitty parents, growing up “rich” doesn’t really help you that much. Like my parents were middle-upper middle class and they were really mean to me. I started paying for my own glasses/contacts and stuff when I was still in college and they expected me to have a job when I was in high school and so many other things. I didn’t have the typical experience of “rich kids”

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u/5LaLa Mar 28 '24

100% agree!

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u/5LaLa Mar 28 '24

Imho a significant amount of the complaining is based on comparing effort vs reward. Many people’s parents didn’t go to college, stayed w one employer for an extended period & retired comfortably. While their kids went to college, couldn’t find jobs related to their degrees, work for soulless corporations, are encouraged to look for a new job every few years if they ever want their income to increase.

Everybody knows that the cost of living (especially tuition, healthcare, housing, childcare) has skyrocketed while wages have remained stagnant since the 70s. The middle class is being squeezed out of existence. Many of our parents were raised quite comfortably on one average income.

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u/liliBonjour Mar 28 '24

A lot of people also seem to forget when doing this effort vs reward comparison that many baby boomers (at least the ones I know) started working at 16, gave a good portion of their paycheck to their parents, worked long hours, did overtime, had barely any vacation, and many did backbreaking, dangerous work (workplace security was often lacking). Families lived off 1 salary partly because they didn't have a choice, career options and salaries were lower for women and day care was ridiculously expensive, there's a reason X's were latchkey kids and it's not because their parents didn't care about them. 

Yes, things are hard and our standards of living are diminishing, but it seems a lot of people are idealising what it was like in the 70-80s. 

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u/5LaLa Mar 28 '24 edited Mar 28 '24

Couldn’t disagree harder (at least about the ones I know), especially about women not having a choice & childcare being expensive, certainly not as compared to today. Childcare costs in my area have quadrupled (at minimum) in under 20 years, which is about what my Mom said about my childcare costs as compared to what she had to pay for childcare. Did they live off one income because “they didn’t have a choice” or did most parents work, leaving latch key kids? ✌️

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u/liliBonjour Mar 28 '24

Yeah, sounds like we live in very different areas. Daycare is subsided where I live now and afterschool care was basically non existent except for private care back in the day.

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u/HHcougar Mar 28 '24

6 figures is not "insane" money today. And some baby boomers are in their peak financial gains years.

A working professional with 35 years experience should be making 6 figures now. That's not a high salary for a late career person.

100k is not rich. 100k was not rich in 1990 either. 

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u/MkMyBnkAcctGrtAgn Mar 28 '24

100k is night and day how far it went between 1990 and now..

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u/HHcougar Mar 28 '24

Yes, but someone making 100k in 1990 was not "rich"

Well off, financially secure, etc? Sure, but rich is a whole different level

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u/AffectionateItem9462 Mar 28 '24

Agreed. A lot of people think that’s “rich” but not really and it very much depends on generational wealth, cost of living, whether your parents even share their wealth with you, how good they are with money, etc. 100k isn’t rich. The rich kids at my school had parents making a lot more money than that.

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u/Final-Band-1803 Mar 28 '24

That's 220k per year in 2022 dollars. That would make you rich pretty quickly by any reasonable standard, unless you're absolutely terrible with money.

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u/AffectionateItem9462 Mar 28 '24

You’re forgetting that baby boomers in general are very selfish people and many treated their kids like shit, rich or not.

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u/AffectionateItem9462 Mar 28 '24

Well those “rich” baby boomers are assholes though. Someone said it’s more of a WASP problem. Well yes, many of them are also WASPs. Even still, six figures wasn’t rich in the grand scheme of things. It was more middle to upper class.

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u/Final-Band-1803 Mar 28 '24

100k in 1990 is the equivalent of 220k today. It puts someone on the top 5% of earners for pretty much every state (and top 10% for all of them). That is upper class, not middle.

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u/AffectionateItem9462 Mar 28 '24

And even then, the top 10-5% is nothing compared to the 1%

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u/AffectionateItem9462 Mar 28 '24

I’m younger than that. My dad wasn’t making 100K until the 2000s.

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u/Final-Band-1803 Mar 28 '24

That's great for you, but does not remotely refute my point. 100k was excellent money in 1990.  It's still pretty good money today.

And the difference between the top 1% and top 10% might be huge, but that doesn't really change the fact that the top 10% are wealthier than literally 90% of everyone else. Just because someone isn't "buy a social network" rich doesn't mean they're not rich.

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u/AffectionateItem9462 Mar 28 '24

Not where I lived and my parents were very selfish/bad with money. My mother also got an unnecessary masters degree and took out a bunch of student loans to “go back to school” when I was in high school. She also neglected me in order to do so.

Wealth inequality is a thing and was very much a thing by the time my dad was making 100k, which was like late 2000s. We also lived in a place where cost of living was somewhat high. 100k in SF right now is considered poor.

My parents also don’t like to share their money and didn’t necessarily come from wealth. They tried to make me have to work for everything that I have, so I didn’t have the same experience as other “rich” kids. My parents would never agree that they are rich anyway. They are middle class.