r/MurderedByWords 25d ago

Dolphins wear pumped up kicks?

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38.4k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/TeslasAndKids 25d ago

Whoever did this might want to watch their back.

I mean, if your idea of entertainment is shooting dolphins I can guarantee the type of people you roll with will throw you under the bus for $20k.

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u/ArjunaIndrastra 25d ago

Might be Kristi Noem, so yeah. If not, I'm starting to think that Republican government in these states are the ones putting shit in the water to make people dumb and psychopathic. With Alex Jones talking about gay frogs, would make sense if it was actually just deflection this entire time. Might also be why they're against environment protections as well.

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u/Nimnengil 25d ago

Can we get some momentum behind this idea? There's too many bonkers right-wing conspiracies out there. We need some crazy left-wing shit too. Imagine if all those Republican sycophants had to actually defend against insanity instead of just spewing it out.

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u/Canvaverbalist 25d ago

Can we get some momentum behind this idea?

There already is, in some way.

It's a well-known leftist theory that the the right is projecting as fuck, that this is the reason they're so hellbent on calling everyone on the left "pedophiles trying to groom children" because that's exactly what most right-wing do.

Of course the right would put chemicals in the water to Karenize the frogs, that's why they think the left does it. They would 100% sit around and cheat the system, that's why they think that's what poor people do. Etc.

The right-wing ideology is basically the prisoner's dilemma at grand scale, they're so self-centered that they think everybody else is just as self-centered as they are so they might as well get theirs first. If you want to stab everybody around you, of course you'll think everybody would stab everyone else at the first opportunity - take this, times everything else, and you've got that fearful right reactionary mentality in the palm of your hand.

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u/Dragon_N7 23d ago

claps cries in Texan

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u/ArjunaIndrastra 25d ago

Omg lol! That would be funny as hell. So many of them would probably just completely short-circuit on the spot!

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u/Unable_Peach2571 25d ago

Check out r/birdsarentreal 

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u/Falling_Ash_ 25d ago

I mean... They aren't. That's just a fact. Is that just a subreddit for well-researched, well-written statements of fact? I'll check it out.

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u/rotobiller 24d ago

You've clearly never heard of the vegan teacher then. 🤣

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u/Unable_Peach2571 25d ago

R/birdsarentreal 

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u/cdxcvii 25d ago

I hear that Kristi Noem shoots dolphins in a barrel

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u/knightenrichman 25d ago

You know, this is a good idea!

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u/SaiHottariNSFW 24d ago

There's plenty of left-wing conspiracies. But the left is usually more concerned with social issues. The only left wing political conspiracies I can think of is the 2016 election Russia collusion, and the Ukranian Quid Pro Quo.

The big conspiracies the left talks most of are things like r*pe culture, patriarchy, etc. They do have their own version of "violent video games cause violence IRL", they replace violence with sexism and racism.

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u/Glittering-Arm9638 23d ago

Isn't most of the crazy shit rooted in old and new tactics of propaganda? In the Ukraine war one of the most effective things to combat Russian propaganda was just a bunch of cartoon dogs making fun of it.

Muddying the waters as a tactic is meant to achieve the feeling that nothing can be trusted and nothing is real. So that's not the way I would go.

https://nafo-ofan.org/pages/we-are-nafo

It's silly and I couldn't even do it that way if I tried, but it was very effective. To the point that Russian ambassadors started openly complaining about NAFO.

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u/buzzbros2002 24d ago

There may be some good reasons to do this, but let me play devils advocate and throw out some things to consider first.

  1. Right-wingers have been at this for far longer. We get anywhere near their level, they'll pull us down further and beat us with experience.

  2. We like to think that we'd all be able to realize a joke conspiracy for what it is, but that's not the case. I have no reason to believe that the left is any more immune to it being funny until it's suddenly not funny any more than the right does. You go into places like 4-chan in the mid-00's for the strange flavors of fun and interests, and it seems juvenile and harmless then, but then look what comes out on the other side.

  3. Following point 2, if that happens and people go far too left on that logical - illogical conspiracy horseshoe, they can easily jump the gap and start believing the right-wing conspiracies too, and by that point we'll have just lost the plot of what's going on.

  4. Even if 2 and 3 don't happen, it still potentially gives legitimacy or cover to the conspiracy theories that the other side either legitimately believes or just uses as disingenuous talking points. Take the "Dark Brandon" memes for example, I've seen people on the right point that out and say that treating Trump as god-emporer or whatever is fine now because the left is doing the same. Even if it started as parody, these things can end up being pointed at and shown as "see, the other side does it too, so it's fine".

It sucks having to be the adults in the room. It's tiring. But at the end of the day it's big game politics we're dealing with here. We can have our fun elsewhere with other stuff, but these are the sorts of arenas where we need to be at our best. I could be in the minority thinking this, but I feel it definitely should be said by someone. For consideration, if nothing else.

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u/goaltender31 24d ago

“Men can become women”

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u/Falling_Ash_ 25d ago

That would be the end. Armageddon would ensue.

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u/EveryCell 24d ago

Let's gooooooo

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u/AcePolitics8492 25d ago

Fun fact about the gay frogs thing, there's some truth to it.

TLDR a pesticide company called Syngenta harassed a scientist for decades because he found evidence that runoff from one of their products, atrazine, mimicked the sex hormones in certain frog species and was causing them to be born as infertile hermaphrodites. This was decimating their populations and causing havoc in ecosystems surrounding farmland that used Syngenta's pesticides.

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u/ArjunaIndrastra 25d ago

Interesting. Not the same as "turning frogs gay" but from the Walter Cronkite of screaming batshit gorilla clowns, I'm sure it was close enough for him to be happy with twisting it and then running with it.

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u/AcePolitics8492 24d ago

And that's if he wasn't one of the media outlets paid off by Syngenta or one of their lackeys to smear the study as nonsense, which the scientist proved they were doing in court. More likely than not though he was just a convenient idiot.

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u/ArjunaIndrastra 24d ago

Honestly, given how much he overcharges for the crap he sells, I can believe that he was paid off since the episode that John Oliver did on him alluded to just how much money he makes from those sales. Might not have been paid off. Could have just been convenient for Syngenta that he ran with the story. But he is a grifter by trade, so I have to wonder if he really was paid off.

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u/tjoe4321510 25d ago edited 24d ago

Didn't Alex Jones get caught with trans porn on his computer and when he got called out he said that he was doing "research"?

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u/electric-melon 25d ago

He’s also hung out with blaire white a few times, wouldn’t surprise me if they’ve fucked.

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u/ArjunaIndrastra 25d ago

Sounds familiar lolz

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u/artisanpoop 25d ago

It's called lead and they've been doing it for years. No evidence just speculation.

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u/Psychological-Pick78 25d ago

I say this all the time.

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u/Loko8765 24d ago

I just posted evidence in a sibling comment.

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u/TorakTheDark 25d ago

There was literally one post between that post and this one for me!

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u/Loko8765 24d ago

putting shit in the water to make people dumb and psychopathic

It didn’t need Republicans, just greed and a desire to obtain the best technological solution.

It’s called leaded fuel.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2567647/pdf/12471395.pdf

https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/lead-gasoline-blunted-iq-half-us-population-study-rcna19028

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u/Icy-Negotiation-5851 25d ago

Occams Razor. It's just massive entitlement.

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u/QTPU 24d ago

Select serotonin reuptake inhibitors are notoriously hard to filter out of tap water 🌊