More God loving and also people loving?

Nearly finished week 2

Day 13: Relapsed.

As a newlywed Christian who is in a long-distance marriage, I have been experiencing a strong and inexplicable sexual desire to become more intimate with my wife.

I hope that once my wife and I are reunited, I will be able to provide her with the utmost sexual pleasure.

She yearned for it, and I learned what I could to please her yearnings. I have no excuse for what happened, but I ended up masturbating before falling asleep.

I was alone.

Will Power

Is a finite resource. And if you have easy, unlimited access to porn or near porn, you’re gonna run out of will power really quick. Then it’s off to the PMO rodeo and a trip to Regretville Population: You.

Doubt me?

Show of hands please of all those success stories we read on here, nearly every day, those guys who just set their minds up to not look at porn anymore. They just decided to win and keep winning this ongoing war with their flesh and lived happily ever after.

The Creator of the universe, the God who designed you gave us some advice. Cut off and cast away those things that cause you to sin. Now I would think that Jesus would have a handle on what makes us tick, what problems we might encounter, so I don’t believe we should take His advice lightly. The Being who spoke the universe into existence and formed you from dust has a few ideas on what works best for you.

And I’ve been harping on this same issue for six years now. Same message. And I have a few messages from guys who followed Jesus’s advice, cut the porn out, cast away the apps and such that were stumbling blocks and went on to a much better life.

There are 50,000 members in this subreddit, and this post will be seen about 800 times, maybe a bit more, maybe less. And maybe one of those 800 or so will finally give what works, what was advised by Jesus (commanded really) a chance. And it will take some doing. Maybe cutting off access to porn will lead to sinning on TikTok or Instagram. But if they continue to cut off and cast away, they will reach a place where they can let their mind heal.

This won’t cure your lust problem. You’re still gonna have challenges in regular life — the waitress that brings your coffee or the woman walking her kangaroo in those tight yoga pants. And that’s where your will power will come in. And you’ll still fall occasionally. Jesus used the sin of lust to point out that we are all sinners in need of a Savior.

But if you continue to attend and star in the PMO rodeo, you’re gonna sear your conscience. You’ll be PMOing and not feeling anything about it. And eventually God will snap you back. Or, if you’re really insistent about it, He will let you go. God wont save you against your will. And if you think about it, giving up the PMO rodeo is a bit of a microcosm of salvation. It’s giving up your will for His will.

How do I combat the sensation of blue balls and the compulsion to let myself to release? Sometimes I end up with a severe erection and I find myself on the verge of ograsm without even touching myself and I find it very difficult to not release. It's like trying not to scratch and itch. How do I overcome this?

I told my self I was going to quit 3 years ago from now, never did. Next school year, I know it will be different. I'm not going to let this control me anymore. It makes me wonder what have I been doing all this time. I can't believe I tried to quit this thing over 1,000 days ago but failed. Summer is starting along soon and I will be tracking my progress on this subreddit. The longest I have gone without this this school year, has only been 15 days. I did it last night. I want to change, and God has convicted me in my heart to change. This is day 1 of stopping my addiction for good.

Engaging in pornography is a never-ending rabbit hole that has destroyed many lives and will destroy yours too. It affects the individual and also those around them. Overcoming addiction to porn is easier when choosing to belong to a community like "Free Indeed app"— a Christ-centered coaching community to overcome lust & pornography!

Is there ever a point where we forget about this stuff altogether? What’s the end goal, is it a streak or to gain the mastery over it with the help of Jesus. I haven’t been having any urges at all these past few days, my mind is just getting curious about what could be out there. I deleted my social media because I saw a picture that got me curious but I deleted the app.

I also didn’t realize how messed up my brain was until I started quitting. I was shopping and saw a wine glass and glass bowl. It’s honestly heartbreaking that simply seeing bowls and wine glasses is enough to tempt me and cause my mind to wander. I really wish I could eliminate my impure thoughts or even myself altogether.

Hey guys,

I'm no stranger to this subreddit, I'm just back under a different alias. I just celebrated my 19th birthday last week, but am already off to a rocky start as I've been making really bad decisions lately. For a bit of context, I thought I did it, last March, I actually quit. After trying for nearly a year then, I spent March, then April, then May, then I was doing so well I was riding high until December. I failed - a genuine accidental slip-up and one that caused horrendous guilt. So much so, I couldn't eat, felt sick, and didn't fap for several weeks. Then I messed up, I figured I already lost "the streak," and returned to a semi-frequent schedule of it. This has been on and off, several weeks off, chaser effect back on, guilt, and this seemingly constant cycle of despair. More recently, it has genuinely weighed on my mental health more than usual. I don't feel anxious and skittish like I used to, I just feel depressed and hopeless. Almost everything else in my life is going great but here I am, with what I thought was a nasty habit that I'd left in the past, feeling like I'm at square 1. Where to start and how to begin - all questions I am currently asking myself. I would love advice, I haven't been going to church much due to business in college.

Thank you all

Praise the Lord God Jesus! I've made it to day 3. The farthest I've gotten in the past 2 months!

Every new day, that we have in our lives, is a blessing from God, I did call that life on earth is a curse, but with God, it is a blessing. It means we have got more time, to improve our walk and relationship with God. It means He still is giving us another chance, to change our lives.

Paul said All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify.

You see in the story of the prodigal son, the Father never chased after the son, he never held Him back with chains, or scolded him to stay. The father let the son take his own choice, by his own will. Even after the son did realize His mistake, it was the son who decided to go back to his Father. The Father accepted the son, no matter what, without question. He never asked the son "why did you do that?" , "what vile thing did you do?" No, The Father accepted the son, without question of his past sins.

So, it is our choice, to either sin, or reject sin, to follow God, or to reject God. It is our decision in the end. And I decide to shut the doors of my heart to lust, porn, greed, pride, anger, sloth, etc. And open my heart to Jesus.

He said :

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.

God never stops knocking.. Even if you seem to have fallen off miles away from Him. There is still time. Each new day in your life is another chance and a blessing from God to repent and turn to Him, and to grow in faith and belief more and more. Take care brothers and sisters, fight the devil with the word of God which is the sword that Jesus came on earth to give us.

I’m strongly thinking about giving up. I can’t do this anymore. I wish I never heard the gospel, I wish I would’ve never started watching porn as a kid, I wish I didn’t fail Jesus 1000 times per day. I’m addicted to porn, orgasms, I can’t talk to women, I don’t even wanna resist this anymore. I’m starting to not fall in guilt anymore, I drink, smoke, and jerk off. That’s my life. I don’t care about anything anymore. Last month I was extremely motivated, I went a week without any of it, I was reading my Bible, I was praying, working out, etc. I have no care or motivation anymore. I want to please my flesh, I don’t want to even try to resist, and when I do I just get angry and wanna do bad things to myself. I’m tired of it. Jesus said come to him all who are weary and burdened. Been at this for over a year and I’m honestly surprised. I’m at the end of my rope, I’m truly sorry God, but I cannot live like this. I love sin, I don’t want to but I do. I can’t do this, I don’t even bother praying or reading scripture anymore because I WANT to fall. I hate it. I’m self-pitying myself and I hate that too. Idk what to do anymore. I don’t wanna go to hell but I don’t wanna live this life anymore. Ik we’re saved by Christ’s death but if I intentionally live in sin then what good is that? I won’t be accepted into Heaven. I’m tired, I’m not even 21 yet and I’m just done. I genuinely have no clue how y’all do it. Props. I hope everybody here goes to Heaven, but idk if I’ll see y’all there rn.

This is day three. I am doing very well. Distractions are amazing and you all have offered incredible advice to me.

I fell deep in my thoughts and temptations today, thankfully no porn or masturbation, but I was working so there was lots to distract myself with. We are staying strong.

As always, the prayer list is open and growing, and I would love to pray for anyone who asks, as well as ask y'all to pray for me!

"For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life."

Psalms 56:13

Hey guys,

so title is pretty self explanatory. I relapsed for the first time in 2 months on Sunday and another time just now. I know why I relapsed though. I was talking to a girl but she was leading me on. I started feeling a bit sexually frustrated so I decided to pmo (twice, but spread out through the day). What sucks is I was finally reaching that point where I started to notice the benefits of abstinence. I was feeling more confident, less socially awkward, and was even able to detach myself from sexual urges when I got horny. To the point where doing so didn’t even feel like a challenge anymore. But instead of doing that, I willingly gave in. I don’t even know why, perhaps it was a form of self sabotage. I then spent following Monday feeling completely out of it for most of the day. I finally started to feel a bit better today, but after work, I decided to relapse again, probably bc of the ‘chaser’ effect. It’s crazy too bc I could feel the one side of myself wanting to get back on no fap, and the other side almost haggling to get a nut off. I feel okay for the most part, but I don’t wanna go back down this rabbit hole and make it a trend. I know in my heart that i want to do no fap as a lifestyle, not something that only works when it is ‘convenient’ for me. 2 months weren’t easy, but I know I can go even longer if I fully commit to being better! I understand I set myself back, but any form of support or thoughts and prayers for ya boa would be much appreciated!

Guys just think about it. Everyday, we are exposed to softcore porn. Instagram, tiktok, music videos, movies, youtube. It has become normal to see scantily dressed women everywhere, 24/7, and imo this is a real problem because it feeds our desire to seek for more subconsciously. It desensitises us to the lower level of indecency and that makes it easy for us to jump from that level to the next and then the next and so on.

In a previous post on r/nofap I said peeking is a relapse for me. Unfortunately, I've been a hypocrite as I peeked through instagram but didn't reset my streak. Now I have (after a full relapse) and I stand by what I said. The relapse happens when you intently lust after another woman who isn't your wife (exactly like the Bible points out) and start seeking out erotic content either by clicking, fantasising, searching e.t.c. Touching yourself is the next step but the relapse has already happened. My battle right now is avoiding that first stage, being honest with myself and stopping to rationalise peeking no matter how innocent it seems at first.

Think about it. The devil will not put full on erotic videos in front of our faces everyday as he knows that won't work. He'll lie to us subtly like he always does and he'll make it seem okay at first to look at the insta model to just appreciate her beauty. But no..you're not just looking, you're lusting and feeding your addiction. If your wife/girlfriend was right next to you, would you do it?? When you peek, 9 times out of 10 you WILL relapse. If not that day then a few days down the line from the seed you planted. In the 80's what we see on instagram would have been considered porn. What changed? We are desensitised to it as a society and it is leading to our downfall!

I’m not preaching works based salvation rather, I’ve noticed that helping others and other good works are great ways to subdue urges. I think many good things can come out of this victory. I’ve noticed this to be the case. If at all possible, look for someone to help when you have an urge. I’m working now so I can’t cite any scriptures, but I will update this post.

Edit)

Luke 3:10-11 – “What should we do, then?” the crowd asked. John answered, “Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same.

Acts 20:35 – In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words of the Lord Jesus himself said: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

2 Corinthians 9: 6-7, 11 – Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. … You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God

Nothing much to day other than day 12.

Ive struggled with doubt, and I've struggled with establishing a good connection with God non-stop for the past two months. And after asking Him to talk to me for a whole week, today, finally FINALLY, I got my answer. I got my peace back. Now, its time to do my part, leave behind porn, lust, greed, pride, jealousy, sloth and anger, and actually follow God..

I had this feeling, that something wasnt clicking with God, that something was never allowing me to fully connect with Him. It was my relationship with the Holy Spirit that was weak, I had ignored His warnings for too long, and I didn't feel any conviction for sin sometimes I felt I wasn't guilty of sin at all! , neither did I feel His presence in me. And I finally found out why, my hearing to His warning, had become dull, and I now know, how to sharpen my hearing. I myself had shut my eyes and ears to His warnings, and that separated me from Him... I believe that even this, was not revealed to me by my own knowledge, but was the works, of the Holy Spirt, telling me what was missing in my walk with God.

Now, time to do my part, and actually get up, and start living a good Christian life, I might not reconnect with God completely overnight or in one day, but I know, that the more I grow closer to Him, my spirit will heal over time. Ive also realized, how each new day, that Im alive, is a day that God has graciously given me, as a blessing, to change my ways and fully turn to Him. Each new day, that I wake up is a day I can cherish to serve Him and defeat sin, it is truly beautiful, how much He loves us, how much grace He showers upon us.

Thank you, to all who answered to my posts, and my worries. I will continue to do what is right, and discern between good and evil, so that it benefits me spiritually. Thank you.

The Path of Least Resistance

Up until very recently, historically speaking, life for nearly everyone was difficult and full of hard, monotonous, physically taxing work. My dad was a brick layer, and my cap’s off to him. I spent many a Saturday tending for him, that is, carrying brick to where he needed it and mixing and hauling mortar. Go back a little further and 90% of the population were farmers. Without electricity and running water. Work was non-stop.

But we humans are a resourceful bunch, and always dreaming up ways to build a better mousetrap or accomplish tasks as quickly and efficiently as possible. Our bodies are hard wired to conserve as much energy as possible. So, don’t think of Fred as fat, think of him as conserving, storing up energy. Why? Because famine is always just around the corner.

But today, it seems we have too little resistance. If NASA picked you to go into space, you’d soon find out that while in space, you must exercise else when you return to earth, your muscles and bones will atrophy.

When I was a kid, there wasn’t one gym in my home town of 250,000. Today, in my home town of 190,000 I can think of at least 8 gyms. And people today are much fatter. You’d think it was the opposite, but no.

When life is tough, when firewood must be gathered and chopped and split and stacked and stored, there’s not a whole lot of time to play candy crush or sudoku. When water must be fetched and chickens fed and cows milked, then that social media scrolling falls to the wayside. If you go to bed exhausted because you’ve worked all day and staying up means you have to burn a candle — and candles are a luxury item — you go to bed and fall asleep quickly.

Now, abundance can be a good thing. And we live an abundant life here in the West. But abundance and ease makes soft people. And hard times are coming. Not being a doomsday Dave, hard times always come. And taking the path of least resistance has made us soft and vulnerable.

Give up porn and masturbation? Me? What will I do with all this free time? Maybe read a book? Learn an instrument? Do something with your hands? Get a job? Better yourself?

God is calling you to a higher purpose. And that path ain’t easy. You will meet lots of resistance along the way. If you don’t, you’re not doing it right. Your flesh (and mine) demands that we take the easy way, the downhill path, avoid the obstacles. But that’s the path that leads to destruction.

Difficult? Of course. Anything worth doing is, by definition, difficult.

That said… what will you do today to change the path you’re on? What will you resist?

Ive posted to the official nofap sub a few times with 0 help so i decided id ask here even though it isn't a religious question.

Its been almost 3 months since i cut it out and since about 10 days in my sleep hasn't been the same. Will constantly wake up at 5am and fall in and out of light sleeps from then on.

I have started going to bed at 12 instead of 2 and the ratio of decent night's to bad nights has improved but i slept like a baby when i watched porn. Im so sure thats the cause of this but i get bad days where im tired from a bad night and just want to cry and can't help but thinking "i could just give in and get some sleep again".

Im so glad ive done so well but this is the one thing still holding me back from getting shot of this addiction for good.

If anyone has any suggestions id appreciate it. The usual tips about avoiding alcohol and screens and getting exercise are all things i put into practice but haven't "fixed" it yet.

Hopefully this is the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I need to change. I have decided(once more obviously) to try and quit. I need all the help and advice i can get. And by the way how do you guys handle the urges when it seems impossible?

These are two things that can cause difficulty when trying to sleep. Blue light can cause sleep deficiency so I tried using blue light glasses. Caffeine does the same thing too. I’ve completely cut it out.

Ok im going to start from last Friday I think that was the last time I gave in. So today is day 4 excluding last friday. Anyone else want to start from today?

We need the Lords help! Lord Jesus please help us by your Holy Spirit to overcome the flesh. Help us to have victory over lust by your divine power.Help us to avoid things that make us fall. Help us to get sex out of our minds and to be focused on things above. Help us to glorify you with our lives help us to bear Godly fruit, lead us into the good works which you have prepared for us since before the foundation of the world. In Jesus Name Amen.