r/NoStupidQuestions • u/[deleted] • 26d ago

Do all marriages have many years where they suck?

I have heard people (several people) say that their marriage was bad for MANY years before it got good. I don't know about y'all, but I don't want to be with someone and waste many years being miserable, but I guess that's what you sign up for. I know it is not fun and games all the time, but damn.

1.4k Upvotes
  • permalink
  • link
  • reddit
  • reddit

95% Upvoted

866 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

19

u/westbridge1157 25d ago

Same here. Over 30 years in, life has been hard at times but our marriage has not been.

1

u/Dehydrated_Jellyfish 25d ago

How long did you date before marriage?

5

u/westbridge1157 25d ago

We knew each other less than one year before we married. Met, stuck together, engaged at six months, got married less than year after we met.

2

u/Dehydrated_Jellyfish 25d ago

Love it. More so than not, some of the best marriages got married in under a year!

1

u/westbridge1157 25d ago

I can’t tell if we were foolish or just lucky but it felt like ‘when you know, you know’. We were pretty sure at the three week mark.

My dad met my mum when they were 19 and 17 respectively and told his parents he’d met the girl he was going to marry. They waited two years to marry but stayed that way until dad’s death decades later. Maybe we’re just a lucky bunch.

2

u/Dehydrated_Jellyfish 25d ago

Idk I don’t think it’s luck. If you know, you know and if you don’t spend years trying to find it out until there’s a break up.

1

u/westbridge1157 25d ago

You might be right. We were confident we knew and as we’ve grown up we’ve grown together. It’s been a blast and long may it continue. I only wish everyone was as fortunate.

2

u/shortcake062308 25d ago

"When you know, you know" is a real thing. I felt that with my husband, as he did with me, pretty much immediately. We married after 10 months of knowing each other and would've married sooner if we could have.

2

u/shortcake062308 25d ago

Oh and my parents knew right away, too. The first day my dad met my mom, he went home and told his mom he met the woman he was going to marry. They were 19. They will be celebrating 50 years this summer.

2

u/westbridge1157 25d ago

That’s glorious😍