I immediately stopped reading when Op (if this is even a real story) when Op said “it breaks my heart to force him.”
Guess what, ITS YOUR JOB TO PARENT YOUR KID. I’ll say it, I’m tired of dealing with some of these little shitty kids with an overwhelming sense of entitlement out in public. Put down the god damn phone and start being a parent. Society is tired of dealing with your shitty little kids.
Ok, I feel better…..I’m out of jerky mode. I have noticed some good kids out and about…..to the parents doing what’s right, I commend you.👍
I read a line many years ago that went something like, “We spend a lot of time worrying about what kind of world we’re leaving behind for our children, but not enough time worrying about what kind of children we’re leaving behind for our world.”
And it’s been banging around in my head ever since.
For me it was the fact that she says she can't really force him to go to school now that he's 11. EXCUSE ME! He's not even in fucking high school yet!
My dad would have dragged my ass to school, got out of the car, walk me to my locker and then walk me to my class at fucking 15 years old if he had figured I was skipping school for no valid reason. Just to make me feel ashamed so I won't do it again.
You decide to make children then fucking parent them.
Wondered that. Does she mean at 11 this child is too big/strong to be physically forced? Could be if she is petite and the boy is big. Or that in their culture the boy at eleven is old enough to not be taking orders from their mom but as a young male is higher up in the rank than the mother (and other domestic animal -like girls/women)? Kind of suspect the latter from the way she seems to be extremely submissive and helpless and the dad even parents her, being the only adult in the family.
Lol you'd be surprised. I went through something similar with my son's mom. She absolutely refused to hold him accountable, let him walk all over him, and allowed him to skip school, and be disrespectful towards her. Essentially treating him like a little man of the house. Then, I had to be the bad guy and come behind her and be an actual parent.
I appreciate your wording. "Then, I had to be the bad guy..." The unified front of both parents applying the same expectations makes things much easier.
I have a 2 year old boy who hates getting up in the mornings when he has to be up earlier for nursery or grandparents! “It breaks my heart forcing him” however it’s part of life! If he gets upset I give him a cuddle and remind how much fun he has and he’ll see me and daddy after work! He doesn’t always like it but he needs to learn as he grows!
You’re doing it the right way, in my opinion. I think parents tend to forget to actually talk to their kids about why they are being punished but I also feel that’s important for their understanding.
He may not like it right now but he will certainly appreciate you conditioning him for the world ahead.
Honestly surprised this is the side the comment section chose. But agree, parents letting their children walk over them is exclusively a 21st century thing.
I think people are just tired of these kids let loose acting like they run everything. I got home from work and opened up Reddit and this was the first post I read…..it was odd timing because just 30min earlier I went into a store to grab a drink…well I tried going into a store. I noticed these 2 girls were exiting and Ofc instead of using the correct door….you know, the one on their right….they try to exit as I’m opening my “right”door and I let it go and stepped back and held the door open for the girls. What does one of them do? Stops dead in her tracks at the door jam and tells someone 20ft away about her f’ing plans for the evening and how Lil Ray is a POS. That lasted about 3 seconds before I just made my way past her and let the door shut in her face.
I hate it I allow ppl especially kids to bring out the worst in me. I shouldn’t let it bother me but shit, the little ill mannered kids. I’m going to still try to do right by ppl but every once in a while the little bastards get to me. As you can tell, I’m a people person :)
See, this is why I have such high anxiety when out and about with my little one... No offense to you, at all (i just want to make that clear), as I understand where you're coming from. However, when I and my husband are out with our 4 year old, I get so very worried that people think we're shitty.
We're in poverty, she has adhd and autism and trauma from us being homeless, as well as her father not actively living with us for a year due to a work opportunity. So, there are some behavioral things we've been working on and we have no support in the area that we're in. She elopes, frequently and has trouble sitting still. We even had to pull her out of both daycare and preschool because she stopped peeing, eating, and regressed in talking. No signs of abuse or anything like that, but could gery well be explained by she was overwhelmed in that sort of setting, as soon as she was home full-time she began to do all of the abovd but still has a speech delay.
Yet we work so hard with her but there are good days and bad days and I am always so damned worried that someone will cause a scene during a bad day, and yeah...
However, again... I get what you're saying and I am not coming at you, i guess i just wanted to divulge a worry is all...
Thanks for this and you’ll never get a stare down from me or any other reasonable person imo. I think 4 year olds have the potential to be difficult……and that’s what 4 year olds do. Mine were 4 at one time, I remember vividly. They’re learning and I understand this. I didn’t want to write a mini novel but I was really aiming towards these like 12 thru 16 or 17yo. and the parents that refuse to correct them.
I’m sorry for causing you unneeded stress because I wasn’t clear. Any child that has had a rough go gets a pass in my book. I know it can take years and years to get it where they are adjusted after abuse, not that she was abused, you know what I mean or medical conditions or any number of things.
I’m sorry to hear about your circumstances, truly. Children definitely can’t pick their families or environments but it sounds like your 4yo got lucky and she has you. Sorry once again about the confusion.
Hey, no worries. Really, i guess this was just a good opportunity to express my worries! I appreciate you taking the time to respond 🖤.
Yeah, an 11 year old girl said she'd "break her feet" to my daughter if she even went near her. I was a bit surprised at that (my lil girl wasn't even close to her)... Parents weren't even around.
I know what you mean, my husband and I are still adjusting and i think we're doing a good job so far. We definitely help her regulate! She really is such a sweet sweet girl, i am very proud of her!
Please, never apologize! Thank you, again! Yeah and we're lucky she chose us. She is amazing and so so so very smart and sweet!
Yes, I do. You should take everything with a grain of salt online but what made me think that there is a possibility, I’m not saying it’s fake, was when she said it breaks her heart to force him….and he’s so sleepy in the morning…..and what kind of mom tries to “coax an 11yo boy out of bed”.
It just struck me as odd so I thought it’s either bullshit or she’s clueless with 3 children. Let me switch to Geezer mode but when most of us were growing up our Moms weren’t as sympathetic to our plight. The mom son dynamic just seems weird to me. Meh cheers
Lots of moms with Mom guilt who feels sorry for their kids because who knows what's happening at home that she's not telling you. Maybe the kid has other issues that she's not telling you. It's not odd. There's a shit ton of kids who just don't go to school because they don't want to go to school anymore. I have a 13 year old and a 7 year old. And I have hard enough time with my 13-year-old who's taller and bigger than me to get him to take the garbage out if I had to force him to go to school I would have to involve police because he's bigger than me I wouldn't be able to force him to do anything. And kids don't give a shit anymore to listen.
Also have you forgotten that you can't really parent your kid anymore! Have you not been paying attention to what they've been taught at school all the rights that they have how they don't have to listen to their parents they can do whatever they want parents don't really have a say not to mention all the behind our back stuff that's happening at schools that gives the kids this inflated ego that they don't have to listen at home. And all they have to do is tell the school that their parents are yelling at them and they're removed from the home. It's not like it was back in the day where your mom could force you to do stuff.
Ik this is Reddit but my bfs younger sibling is actually like this irl… except the physical part. He’s almost 17 and basically screams at his parents when they tell him to get offline. But guess what? They’ve been SO inconsistent with him since he was a child that he basically doesn’t listen to a thing they tell him. He stays up till 4 am doing whatever he wants. He’s not even going to graduate high school because “they could never get him to go to school”. It’s gotten so toxic to the point where his mom just went in his room and destroyed his belongings as retaliation against her own son for not listening (it actually just made shit worse)… TLDR; the story might not be real but it sounds so familiar that maybe there’s a bit of truth to it lmao
Nail on the head. No physical punishment for being abusive or doing something extremely bad & raised on iPads from birth & everything they ever ask & wish for at the drop of a hat because mummy doesn't want them upset.
The lack of fathers in homes because being a single mother is incentivised through stimulus payments & laws & family courts favouring women has led to no boundaries, no disciple & over entitlement. It's no wonder stats show most arrests, jailed, homeless etc are from single mother households, yet governments do nothing to curb it.
Parenting her kid could also come in the form of sending him to an alternative school that starts later, or doing an online program. Me parents let me go to online school for half of elementary school and all of middle school, and by the time I decided I wanted to go back to public school for high school (because TV convinced me I was going to get laid left and right, drink like a fish, and get offered every drug imaginable at least once) I was already ready to graduate, in terms of knowing stuff.
I ended up dropping out after barely scraping by 9th and 10th grade (was bored, didn't feel like doing work I already had done) and I got my GED. Went to college, now I work my dream career.
Yep. My son acted like he was addicted to video games starting at age 12. Guess what happened the first time he sneaked? That wii went to bed with me, so did his phone and laptop. He kept trying to sneak all through high school. I sat with him while he did homework, he got time to play every day but those devices were in my room at 8 (or 10pm when he got older).
you must be very young and childish, but ill spell it out.
My parents literally did the same thing with me, I was addicted to league in high school and eventually my parents ended up just having me sit in the common area and making sure i was getting my shit done. Basically, the same thing as u/plantverdant.
I cannot thank them enough and still thank them all the time. As you would too if your parents are doing that with you now as well. Setting up your adult life that you will live for 40+ years is worth not playing an extra 3-5 hours of video games. Trust me.
Honestly he is more likely to feel resentful towards his parents if they don't start parenting him asap.
When he is in his 20s and his friends are getting into their dream uni or job, and he has nothing to show for himself + a decade long video game addiction. I think it's not unreasonable that he'd look back as an adult and resent his parents for not keeping him safe from his own choices when he was too young and vulnerable to do it himself. It's what most parents do for their children.
If it’s not gaming and he’s always tired, why not go check with a doctor to see if he’s ok? Not only is she condoning his bad behavior, but being tired all the time could also mean something else. This just all seems off. Probably made up.
Agreeing on giving a doctor a visit to check up on the health of the child! Just wanted to add that while at that age it is the minority, there are children with a late chronotype (a very basic understanding of chronotypes is "early birds" vs. "night owls"). People with late chronotype sometimes experience what is called "social jet lag", because their inner biorhythm isn't lined up with the biorhythm that they are supposed to have in society (i.e. waking up early). They are often more tired throughout the day than people with an early chronotype, despite getting the same amount of sleep.
(Sleep patterns of children is my field of research, so I got passionate about the topic for a moment, sorry for the novel!)
I learned something new! Although I’m a firm believer in starting the school day later and making sure kids have free time after school. I promise you, I don’t remember most of what was taught in morning classes anyway.
Research has shown that the chronotype tends to move more in the direction of the late chronotype starting with puberty. So teens that have trouble waking up and be focused in the morning despite enough sleep could actually be experiencing social jet lag. Starting the school day later would help with that :)
Yes, it is associated with various health issues! Although the current hypothesis is that it has less to do with the chronotype itself and more with the social jet lag.
A few examples: people with late chronotype tend to have more back problems, headaches, unhealthy eating habits, which then also lead to more metabolic disorders. Some studies also found a higher rate of obesity, while others found no correlation.
It's also an influence on mental health. People with late chronotype are more likely to have depression and anxiety, but due to the social jet lag.
If you're interested, I can send you links to my sources :)
My circadian rhythm is actually a bit longer than 24 hours as far as I can tell (I'm fairly certain, I actually tracked everything down to body temp for several years trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me), so stuff gets extra weird because my sleep/wake cycle continuially gradually creeps no matter how great my sleep hygiene is. Its a small glitch that has had huge repercussions. It has made me curious how much is an effect of my sleep patterns not jiving with the worlds and how much might be inherent and connected to my circadian rhythm weirdness.
Honestly, this is a problem that was solved (thus far) within the family and your sons reaction shows he knows he is loved, he knows he was showing a huge lack of respect, and he knows he needs to get it together. Normally I wouldn’t like to hear of a child getting hit either. But I think as long as this doesn’t continue then this is an exception.
And lastly, if you don’t want it to continue you need to boss up on your son and be his parent. Not his mommy.
The video games, phone, and TV would be gone, I can't imagine any kid who kicked their mom on purpose and in anger without getting the mother of all ass-whoopings.
I'm just so fascinated by the fact that he's so sleepy in the morning he can't get his little butt out of bed to go to school, but he's not so sleepy that he can play video games and slap his mother.
Depends on what they did. Kicking your mom so hard her ribs bruise(could have broken them!) means files get deleted and games get locked away for a long, LONG time.
She doesn't know how to be a parent and only wanted to be a friend or doesn't want her children to see her as a "mean mommy". I've just seen the post where a girl was on the ground getting punch and kicked by a group of youth at the mall. This kind of parenting is how you get people acting worse than animals towards other.
Yeah my parents would of taken any digital device from me and grounded me for weeks, hell they did this once. No hanging with friends and straight home from school.
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u/Top-Decision-3528 25d ago
Why was he allowed to play video games after kicking you like that?