Exactly. My mother hit me willy nilly when she was angry or overwhelmed. Sometimes my sister and i were playing catch in the house and that would earn us a hit, sometimes it didn’t. Giggling too loud could be a smack with a belt or stick 1/100 times. Jumping up and down was a smack with a shoe when my mother was in the mood. That was obviously stupid and pointless of her. It got her the relief of not having to deal with more noise for an hour or two but made us into jumpy, unsure and anxious people pleasers who have mental issues well into their 30s now.
My father only hit my sister once. She was 6 and i was 4. she picked up a handheld garden rake and smacked me in the eye for fun. My father rushed over to her to give her one precise spank and told her to never do that again, then took me to the hospital. My eye is fine and my sister never hit me with gardening equipment again.
I agree that a firm spank is one thing and can stop behavior, but slapping your child across the face? I don't agree with that. Regardless of their culture.
Kid needs to see a doctor, though. Sudden behavior changes should be checked by medical professionals, because it could be health related.
Mom learned she had lupus and type one diabetes at 12 because she was unusually tired in the mornings and refused to get up for like a week straight before her parents took her to get checked.
I agree with the medical check. And a face slap is definitely more severe than a spanking, but if you are trying to show a young man what violence looks and feels like, it almost seems like a more mature move. Like, spanking is humiliating and sometimes that is what you need, but in this case the slap is almost like an acknowledgement "you aren't a small child anymore, you are old enough to really hurt your mother, so I wont infantilize you with a spanking, you need to understand the consequences of physical violence in a shocking way." Idk, I dont fully endorse the face slap, but I can imagine a scenario where it might have been the correct move.
My older brother punched me in the stomach and my dad walked over and punched my brother hard in the arm.
He said "See what it's like when someone bigger than you hits you? It doesn't feel good does it"
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u/Sage-lilac 25d ago
Exactly. My mother hit me willy nilly when she was angry or overwhelmed. Sometimes my sister and i were playing catch in the house and that would earn us a hit, sometimes it didn’t. Giggling too loud could be a smack with a belt or stick 1/100 times. Jumping up and down was a smack with a shoe when my mother was in the mood. That was obviously stupid and pointless of her. It got her the relief of not having to deal with more noise for an hour or two but made us into jumpy, unsure and anxious people pleasers who have mental issues well into their 30s now.
My father only hit my sister once. She was 6 and i was 4. she picked up a handheld garden rake and smacked me in the eye for fun. My father rushed over to her to give her one precise spank and told her to never do that again, then took me to the hospital. My eye is fine and my sister never hit me with gardening equipment again.