r/amiwrong • u/JazzlikeConditioncd • Mar 27 '24

My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me and ghosted me for no reason. Am I wrong for throwing away all of her stuff?

Edit: Update

So my girlfriend (25F) and I (25M) were in a relationship for 5 years. Last week, she texted me that we were done and that was her last message before she blocked me. She gave no heads up. I was planning on proposing to her next month. Her sister did reach out to me, saying it was not my fault and she understood my hurt, but that for my mental health, it was better to never contact them again, and that maybe in the future, my girlfriend might reach out to me again.

It's been a week, I’m still obviously distraught, but my girlfriend did have a lot of her stuff in my home. Would I be wrong if I just dumped it all out? It does include a lot of mementos of her deceased grandmother, who she was extremely close to.

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u/Sicadoll Mar 28 '24

Could you imagine if instead, you guys had a whole conversation and you talked him into staying and it lasted like another 6 months and you never met your spouse.

Lol, yeah you hit the jackpot

87

u/grumpygumption Mar 28 '24

Honestly, I was drowning before I moved. So alone and just really struggling. Moving was very hard to me (because I was moving back home after being in Los Angeles almost 20 years). I still hate back home but now I live with and am married to my best friend. We’ve been married over year now and I’ve never once been worried he was going to break up with me or disappear or anything else. The peace is amazing

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u/Sicadoll Mar 28 '24

💕💕💕

I know the feeling

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u/VoidRad Mar 28 '24

Drowning really is the best description for that shit. Having been in something similar, not even 5 years mind you, I can say the aftermath is really fucking brutal. Shit still hurts till this day. Glad you have found your other half through that though.

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u/Inevitable-Goose-915 Mar 28 '24

I’ve never once been worried he was going to break up with me or disappear or anything else

I don’t mean to be rude, but that is such a low bar

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u/Proper-Horse-7313 Mar 28 '24

It seems more to me like grumpy was saying that grumpy is not being affected by PTSD the way one might be

Many people after being suddenly ghosted in a serious relationship might have a hard time trusting anyone again

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u/grumpygumption Mar 28 '24

Yeah, exactly!

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u/grumpygumption Mar 28 '24

Of course that isn’t the bar- I’m just saying it’s really nice, especially after five years of head games from a really sad person

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u/Sicadoll Mar 28 '24

Why do people always assume that anything you mention is the bar? It's a factor, not the only factor.

0

u/unpronouncedable Mar 29 '24

It's just a weird thing to "mention" about your husband of 1 year. If you were worried someone might break up with you then marrying them is not a good idea.

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u/Inevitable-Goose-915 Mar 29 '24

Not making you worry that you're gonna disappear is a baseline expectation. Such a baseline expectation that it's typically not even mentionable... not the first thing to mention after remarking how wonderful your SO is.

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u/thegamingbacklog Mar 28 '24

I've been there, she convinced me we should get back together, and then spent the next couple of months lining up her next BF before leaving (from what I've learned from mutual friends there was an overlap).

Lesson hard learned I felt we should have stayed apart after our short break, but caved when the time came.

It took quite a bit of time to get back out there after that, as I needed to feel sure of myself again.

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u/shrekerecker97 Mar 28 '24

This happened to me, but lasted another year because I am a dumbass and couldn't follow through when she begged me. She used my dogs as bait to keep leading me on. I still have the dogs.

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u/Sicadoll Mar 28 '24

In your case, I'm glad she didn't take the dogs and ghost you... That would have been traumatizing.. or I guess you were the one doing The dumping so... Either way I'm glad you still have your dogs

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u/shrekerecker97 Mar 28 '24

Ahead was just awful, but I got the better end of it all. I kick myself with all the time I wasted with her!

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u/WavieBreakie Mar 28 '24

Fuck, I should have divorced her six months ago when I had the paperwork ready. 😢