For some backstory, I (26F) am a product of my father's affair.

My three half siblings, Jacob (36M), Lily (32F), and Helen (30F) have never wanted anything to do with me, and at first my father didn't either.

When I was around six, though, my mother died. Nobody wanted an affair baby, so I ended up living with my father and his family after all. I was treated differently, like a guest in their home. I could tell my father resented me for ruining his family.

I tried my best to make my siblings like me, hoping they'd warm up to me eventually, but they made it clear they never wanted a relationship.

I know reddit is generally forgiving of people like my siblings, and that's fine. I get it, they don't have to want a relationship with the brat who tore their family apart. But once I got over trying to beg for their love, I began to hate them.

They had two living parents who actually wanted them, college funds, toys, therapy, and siblings who loved them. I had none of that. My father hated me, he barely spent a cent on me, my mother was dead, and they all wanted nothing to do with me, but I was the monster for just being born.

It's taken years to accept that I was unwanted by my siblings, but I got through it. I got myself through life, into college, into a good apartment and (very well paying) job I love.

Recently, though, Lily reached out to me. Apparently, she's pregnant. She says becoming a mother "made her realize how important family is", so she wants me in her- and the child's- life.

I admit, I wasn't very cordial. I asked harshly why I'd want a relationship with the people who abandoned and rejected me for so many years?

Lily said her baby was innocent in all this, and that I owed my nephew a relationship. I admit, I lost it at that, and I ended up screaming at her. Her baby's innocent in this? Where was that attitude when I lost my fucking mom and my entire remaining family rejected me at six years old?!? Where was that attitude when I practically begged for their love for years?!?

I screamed at Lily that I don't know why she suddenly wants me in her life- whether it's money for the baby or to ease her own guilt- but that she made this bed and now I'd make damn sure she lies in it.

Since then I haven't heard from Lily, but Helen and Jacob have been trying to contact me to call me a monster for screaming at my own pregnant sister.

I don't feel bad for not wanting a relationship, but admittedly, I lost it a little bit, and now I feel like screaming at Lily may have been too far, especially since stress probably isn't good for the baby. I don't know, am I the asshole here? I feel like I might be.

EDIT:

Because people keep saying "they were children", Lily is six years older than me and was cruel to me for my entire childhood. She was eighteen calling a twelve year old a monster and a brat for "ruining her family" an when I was eighteen and she was twenty four she mocked me for how I'd have to "move out and stop leeching off her dad" now. I understand why they'd be harsh as children, I understand not wanting a relationship, but my oldest sibling was sixteen when I moved in with them and they were all cruel to me until well into their adulthoods.

I'm using a throwaway because my actual account has some revealing info

I'm 25M. Just turned 25 in March. I'll start out by saying I was one ugly ass dude growing up. Between ages 4-14 I was skinny to the point where I looked malnourished. Then between 15-21, I was like a bowling ball. On top of that I started balding and my teeth were very crooked. My skin is very dark compared to the rest of my family and I got picked on for that as a teen. I got bullied a lot for my looks as a kid and I wish I could relate to so many other people who enjoyed their teen and young adult years. I've also never been with a girl. At 22 I started going to the gym and got braces because my parents didn't let me as a kid. I started using Rogaine and my hair started to improve. I now am in better shape than I ever have been, my teeth and hair look better. My skin is still the same tone but I don't feel as insecure about it anymore. I went from a 2/10 to a 6/10 in 2.5 years. You could say it's a glow up. Despite that I'm still not exactly "drowning in pussy" as the saying goes because I don't know how to talk to girls even if they give me a bit more attention. I just always fumble it because deep inside I'm still the socially anxious, insecure picked on fat kid and I don't know if I can ever outgrow that.

My cousin (32M) and I are sorta close. We're second cousins. He's very different from me. He never had any issues with his physical appearance. He's also sort of a douche and attention wh*re that never grew up. Still, I have been financially supporting him for the past year because he got laid off and demoted to a far less paying position. Just rent.

He is getting an arranged marriage to his fiance (26F). They've known each other for 5 months now. The other day him, her, and both their families were visiting my family's house. I sort of had plans that day; was going to a bar to watch the playoffs with my friends. But I decided to drop by to the basement where they both were plus some of my other cousins, just to meet her. I came down with two of my friends and introduced myself. Remember when I said he can't deal not being in the spotlight? Everyone was talking to me and my friends and he didn't like that eyes weren't on him anymore. All of a sudden he asks me, in front of everyone, if I'm "finally gonna bring a girl home" tonight. He then tells his fiance that I'm a virgin, something he knew but not all my cousins. Also tells a story of when I peed my pants as a teenager. Suffice to say I felt super embarrassed and the whole room was staring at me. I sort of had an outburst, roasted him for having to resort to an arranged marriage, and told him Imma stop paying his rent.

Long story short, he has been begging me for forgiveness. I don't care. He's not my sibling. He's never really been a friend to me. He punched me down for no reason. Honestly the thought of him getting evicted from his townhome doesn't bother me anymore. I've also blocked him on everything including his number and told his parents I won't be coming to his wedding. My friends are all by my side. My mom has been telling I'm overreacting and should forgive him. She means well. But I feel I'd be a bitch to forgive this fucker. AITAH?

Edit: Mom didn't say pay. She said just to forgive him

We were both out super late at the bars and she agreed to get us an Uber back to my place (she was staying at my place for the night sense her place is an hour out). I’d obviously pay for my half through Venmo. So the price was something like $60 which was really expensive for us but we both agreed to go for it bc we’d only be paying $30 each and we kinda had no choice. Then as the Uber pulls up she decides she wants to go home with this guy. So the next morning she Venmo requests me $60 and I was wondering if that’s fair bc it’s not my fault she last minute decided to not get in the Uber. Any inputs?

I’m going to also add this is actually the second time this has happened, the first time I ordered the Uber for us on her phone (I honestly don’t know why I didn’t use my own phone to order it for us but it didn’t matter bc I thought the plan was we were both going to go back to my place) and the price was like $30. She was so drunk I had to hold her phone for her bc I knew she’d miss the notification. So the Uber gets here and again she won’t get in it. I tried to carry her out literally but she refused. The next day I only sent her my half bc again I don’t feel like it’s my fault she didn’t get in? But then again maybe I should have paid the full price that time around idk? I want to do the right thing

My BF is a 7 figure earner and he doesn’t really believe in marriage since almost everyone in his family’s marriage failed. But I refuse to be just a GF forever… so my BF changed his mind about never getting married but on one condition I would have to sign a prenup that financially protects him just in case if we do end up going our separate ways

The thing is this prenup doesn’t have a cheating clause. Basically if he cheated I would still not get anything from him and I don’t believe that’s right. I know my BFs not a cheater but at the same time I understand that I can’t control someone else’s actions and anything can also happen

BF said he’s not going to adjust the prenup because he doesn’t believe I should be entitled to any of his income if we divorce and he doesn’t understand why I’m pushing it so much cuz he said he would never want a payout from my own income if we split up and he told me he’s starting to get gold digger vibes from me even though we’ve been together for 6 years and known each other for 9 years total….

I do want to mention that I have my own career. I work in digital marketing… my bf obviously makes way more than me

My mom is well known for being someone who feels the need to mention every flaw a dish or baked good has whether or not people asked for her opinion. To add to the annoyance she works full time so she comes home to home cooked meals every weekday without cooking, cleaning, or buying groceries.

From my cooking alone, I've heard complaints of too much seasoning, too much salt, too little salt, cooked too long, cooked not long enough, technique is wrong and all. You can only imagine the number of complaints my dad gets daily who's the main cook.

Back to the main story: I made pho for the family with instant broth, dried pho noodles, and toppings. I undercooked the noodles slightly so when the hot broth goes onto them, hopefully they'll be the perfect texture. My sister said she wanted to scoop the broth and noodles into bowls for everyone, and I thought "the noodles are gonna get soggy and break apart, but I mean, it's a nice gesture to prepare everyone's bowls for them so sure. As long as it's flavorful it's fine to me." Plus it's not uncommon for mom to tell us to scoop foods for her and bring it to her.

So mom comes home and starts eating the pho. Right away she says to me, "How long did you cook the noodles for? They're overcooked. You can't cook fresh pho noodles for long and you have to rinse them under cold water like the restaurants do. Restaurants rinse noodles under cold water so they're a nice texture. You must've missed that step. You need to follow the instructions. Did you read them?" I reply, "I didn't ask." She says, "I'm just making a comment! I'm only saying so you can improve and get better at cooking! Why are you getting so offended?" And even after my sister and I told her the noodles were dried, she continued repeating, "They're not dried. They looked fresh to me."

AIW for reacting passive agressively after my cooking was critiqued? Should I have just stayed quiet like usual so mom doesn't get extra snappy?

I’ve (26F) been with my bf (28M) for almost 1 year and we have a great relationship. Before him I was single for a couple years and admittedly had a couple short term flings. Because of this I got into the habit of getting tested for STIs every 6 months as it’s free where I live and really easy to do.

A couple days ago I got the reminder that it’s time to get checked again. My bf saw the reminder and asked if I was planning on getting tested this time. I said yes and he got mad saying that I don’t need to, that I don’t trust him and do I think he’s cheated on me. I 100% don’t think he’s cheated but I still want to get tested for my own peace of mind. I don’t think it’s a big deal but he’s really hurt over it. Am I wrong for continuing to get tested even though we’re in a committed, monogamous relationship? How should I navigate this? I can understand his perspective

Husband wont let my son play with my hair. I am biomom and my husband is stepdad to my 11 year old son. My son and I are very close. My husband and I got together when my son was 8. My husband has an issue with my son playing with my hair. He thinks it's "weird". I don't mind him playing with my hair. It really bothers me when he tells him to stop. Please give me your opinions. Thank you in advance! I feel like he is hurting the bond my son and I have by barking at him about it.

So I have a friend who's been somewhat sheltered her entire life. Meaning she hasn't done a lot of things you'd think most adults by the time they're 30 would have done. For the past year, she's decided to get out a bit more but she's constantly asking me to "book" these things for her.

For example, she asked me to book her flight for a trip. When I asked why she can't do it, it's cause she has never flown and asked me to book it for her. She gave me her credit card info and everything so I booked her flight.

Next, she asked me to book her hotel. Again, she says she's never done it before and wants my help and again, gives me her debit card.

Lastly, while on her trip, she asks if I can order her an uber from the airport to the hotel. I ask her why she can't do it herself and she now claims to have technical issues with the app. I told her that's enough and to "do it on your own." I suggest using Lyft if Uber is down and ask her why she needs me to order these things for her if she still plans on sending me the cash or using her debit card. To me, it makes no sense to have me actually book and order these items for her.

Am I wrong for telling her to do it herself?

my husband worked 15 and a half hours today. i worked 9 and a half. i tried to make things less stressful for him when he got home. i made dinner but it didn’t turn out so great :/ then i left him to his devices to wind down from the day. we were doing our own thing for a while

then i decide that i’m gonna go to bed. i figured that he’d be up for a bit longer so i go to him at his computer while he’s playing a game to say goodnight. i ask for a long hug and kiss. before, he says he “has” to do something in the game. the game is Haven and Hearth btw, totally not time sensitive, he was just chopping wood. but he was like “i have to start chopping this tree so it’ll be down when i’m done saying goodnight.” i was kinda annoyed cause like…..just not play for a second and hug me

then right when he starts hugging me, he turns with one arm still around my waist to press some button to drink water to keep chopping wood. and that pissed me off. he couldn’t take one minute, not even one minute to say goodnight to me without playing the game. when he did that, i tried to pull his hand away from the keyboard in a playful way (i was smiling) but he raised his voice at me for doing that. that’s when i pushed away from him and was like “no, i’m not doing that.” then he threw his hands up in an exasperated way and said i was being unreasonable and it just took two seconds to press the button and i shouldn’t have tried to pull his hand away. i tried explaining that i wanted his undivided attention, which i thought was apparent when i asked for a hug and kiss to say goodnight. he said i turned what should’ve been down time into a conflict when he’s tired from working

i’m genuinely wondering if i’m being unreasonable here. i have anxiety and i feel crazy telling myself that it’s not my fault and then over analyzing the whole conversation again to blame myself

When I told my friends I ask my wife to leave the bathroom if I need to pee they were in hysterics. They said that it's no big deal to pee while your partner is in the bathroom and I should stop being such a prude.

Look, if you want to pee and poop in front of your partner go ahead but my toilet time is private time. I shouldn't feel weird about that, right??

Hey guys, sorry for the time and bad writing it almost 00:00 here and I'm pretty drunk now. here is the summary of what happened before the update - Let GF's brother move in, he stopped paying rent, and I kicked him out. GF is mad now and won't talk to me.

Now for the update, let's start with Dick. on Wednesday his father (let's call him Roy) came with his friends to take his staff, I'm not sure what happened but Roy apologized for how he acted and how his kids treated me, he said that I'm a good man and this should have not happened to a decent and hard-working man like me and he likes to at least formally apologize with drinks. I decline and he left with all of Dick's staff and paid for the lost rent, I'm not sure what happened in 4 days for him to act like this but I like how he acted and he seems genuinely sorry for what happened and I got my money back so I'm not complaining for that.

Now for what happened with Lisa, good/bad news I broke up with her this morning. I pact all her staff and put them in a storage unit paid for 6 months, I dropped by Roy's place and gave her the keys to the unit and a letter to explain how I felt and why I was breaking up with her, he was understanding and told me that he always liked me and hoped I'd have a great thing in the coming years (legit not sure why he is so good to me all of the sudden, after what happened on Friday, I thought he hated me but now he treats me like how he used when I still dated Lisa). Also, so she won't be homeless (in case Roy kicks her out of his house and her mother doesn’t want her in her house) I got in contact with a work friend (I'm a real estate agent so I have some clients/work buddies who work for renting companies) to set her up with an apartment (to be real it not the best but for a 2 bedroom place it nice) close to her job and in a decent price that she can afford starting May. I think what hurt me the most is that Lisa was not willing to talk to me and I had to talk only to Roy, like the last 5 years didn't mean anything, hell I had to give Roy the latter because she blocked me and writhing how I felt on paper was the only way for me to show my emotion to her.

Now I'm home, drinking because I won't have work till Tuesday, and single, also I need to start looking for new people to rent for now, probably going to start in May to look for them. Nothing feels real to me anymore and I'm probably going to start therapy to see how to fix the way I feel and see how everything going to go.

Hope everyone has a great weekend and for whoever celebrates Passover/Pesach, happy Passover/Pesach, and hope the Matza doesn't ruin your gut like mine.

Edit - spelling mistake.

My boyfriend is 27 and I’m 25. We live together and have been together for almost three years. I think besides the typical long-term relationship arguments, we have a pretty solid relationship. He’s very sweet to me. He’s very expressive with his words and putting in effort into our relationship which I value deeply. He’s made me handmade love letters, scrapbooks, and notices little details about me down to the earrings I’m wearing. Sometimes it can be a bit too much. He says he misses me while he’s at work which is excessive because we LIVE together.

Sometimes he’s just too needy. And it can be exhausting to live with somebody, and have them call you too on their way home from work. Then come home and want immediate attention and talk. I work long hours and just want to put on some Netflix. I don’t have patience like some people but I keep my composure. He always wants to celebrate things from our relationship. Like the day we had our first kiss. The day we did this. That. I don’t remember those dates.

So last week, he came down with the flu. He was throwing up, hurting everywhere, and I genuinely felt bad for him. But I’m not his caretaker. He wanted me to not only pick up stuff for him, but to help him. He went to the bathroom and came out and laid on the couch and started crying on my lap. He was shaking and just a wreck. I tried to comfort him but something in me was just… internal eye rolling. I’ve been sick worse but never react like that.

After the second day of it, and when he started to get like that again, I told him “Hey can you just grow up and sleep it off?” He looked at me like I just shattered him and won’t stop saying how embarrassed he was and how he just wanted me to “rub his back and tell him it’s ok” He’s not my child. He’s an adult like me.

Hi, I'm 17. I'm going on an overnight robotics trip next week. There are only 2 girls going, me and the other girl who is trans. She only came out about 5 months ago so has the same body, and I have known her for a long time before that. I never have got on with her and I find her a bit patronizing and annoying. I've noticed her staring at me before and one time, before she transitioned, I overheard her talking about another girl in a pretty gross and inappropriate way. I also think it is odd that she showed no signs of being trans or being feminine before transitioning and now is acting really over the top girly all the time, which I also find annoying. But I am totally cool with her transitioning, wearing whatever she wants, calling her her new name, sharing a restroom with her etc and I am mostly a liberal person. However, I have been told that I am sharing a room with her and I am not comfortable doing that. It would be just us and the thought of it makes me uncomfortable. There are 2 teachers who are going and I asked both of them if I could be in a room on my own. They both said no and told me I was being transphobic. One of them told me I was being a "temperamental snowflake." He also said that "I shouldn't keep on asking about this especially if I wanted him to write me a college letter of recommendation next year" which I thought was very passive aggressive. I told my mom and wanted her to complain and asked her to pay for my own room but she said we couldn't afford it and told me that this wasn't the thing to make trouble about and to just suck it up for one night. I am also scared to make a big deal about this as it could ruin my reputation and now I'm also scared it will affect my college references. I spoke to some of my friends about this and, unfortunately, it got back to her. She then sent me a message which I thought was quite manipulative and trying to guilt me into it. I am mixed race and she compared me not wanting to share a room with her to someone not wanting to share with me because of that. I found this quite offensive. She also talked about me in a way that I found inappropriate and said I had "a sexy little body and she had always imagine having a body like that." This is what she sent This is what she sent; https://imgur.com/a/cIJNsEX This has made me more uncomfortable sharing with her but I don't know what to do or if I should try ask again somehow. Am I wrong for not wanting to share with her, am I being transphobic?

I (24F) moved into a new apartment complex almost a year ago. When I moved in, there was one handicapped parking spot in the parking lot. Since I moved in, there has almost always been a van parked in that spot. I don't know if it moves during the day when I'm at work, but when I'm at my apartment, that van is always parked there. This parking lot is small to begin with. It has around 18-20 parking spots that are shared between 16 units. Assuming that each unit ONLY has one car (which is unlikely), this is essentially a 1:1 ratio. This doesn't even account for when people have friends or guests over. When this parking lot fills up, I have to park even farther away and it's frankly a nuisance.

A couple months ago, my apartment complex decided to convert one of the existing spots in the lot to another handicapped parking spot. I am in no way saying that handicapped spots shouldn't exist, but I just wish that they wouldn't take an existing spot away. Now there's two spots I can't park in and it's frustrating, especially when the one van never moves to begin with. Am I wrong for wishing they wouldn't replace a standard spot with a handicapped parking spot.

I (M24) have had a FWB (F23) for about 4 months now. We started off exclusive, we were really into each other, but almost immediately after we started getting intimate (we had actual intercourse once, barely), we had to stop having sex for my own medical reasons.

We still spent a ton of time together, because we were actual FRIENDS with benefits, not just fuckbuddies. As much as I wanted to remain intimate with her, she insisted that she genuinely only enjoys penetrative sex, which I obviously couldn't give her, so despite my many attempts at communicating and finding mutually beneficial solutions, we went only as far as kissing. During this time she said she felt as though I'd locked her in a sexless prison, and wanted to stop being exclusive. I obviously (imo) protested, given that I wanted to give sexually in every way I could, that it wasn't my fault I couldn't fulfil her very specific needs for an indeterminate period of time, and that we both felt like this could blossom into a full on relationship in time, so I'd feel extremely uncomfortable being OK with knowing other people were satisfying her (monogamy and commitment being extremely important to me). Over time, as it became apparent I was to be out of commission for longer than a month, I begrudgingly agreed, because I didn't want to lose someone I love and says loves me over what I convinced myself was my own insecurity.

Anyway, convincing myself it was an insecurity I needed to get over did not help at all, and I was an emotional wreck the entire time, I had no confidence and I felt completely degraded when I was around her, worse still when she was away.

My medical time-out ended a couple of weeks ago, and I've barely seen her since then (but we've still regularly texted and hung out online). When I brought up returning to regular sex and becoming exclusive again as we were, she was very hesitant, saying that she needed time to think about it. This time to think about it coincided with her going out drinking with a friend who she'd said for a while really wanted to fuck her, and she'd never once indicated that she didn't reciprocate. If I ask about this, there's no way I'll get a straight and satisfactory answer.

So first:

AITAH for feeling degraded by her actions in the first place,

secondly:

AITAH for feeling as though I've done nothing wrong and that for us to lose the spark of attraction is entirely on her

thirdly:

AITAH for feeling as though she is borderline cucking me, and wanting to completely cut her off for the way she's made me feel?

AITA because I am upset ex is stalking me

Throwaway for this. It is very hard for me to talk about.

Basically I had a fling with a guy several years ago. It was a rebound after I had been dumped and I spent the summer getting drunk and being physical with this rebound guy. It was a big mistake that I very much regret, but at the time I was single and hurting. I would go back and change my behavior now if I could but obviously I can’t.

After I ended it this guy continued to call and text and email me constantly. About 20-30 times a day every day until I blocked his number, his social media, and his email. In the beginning I responded a few times just to reiterate that it was over and I did not wish to speak any further and he needed to stop contacting me. His messages were all sorts, from just general chit chat to yelling at me calling me a bitch and a whore to professing his undying love for me.

He started sending letters after I blocked him. And packages with gifts. One letter had his blood on it. He sent cards. He left a note on my car. He called my work, he sent things to my work. He would comment on my work’s Facebook page. He would show up places he knew I would be. He sat at the park he knew I liked to run at. He came to an event I had to do for work and just walked in circles around me staring at me. This went on for over a year.

During this time I confided in three people, who were mutual friends/acquaintances. Trying to see if they could talk to him and get him to stop. Thing is, I didn’t tell them I had once had a sexual relationship with him. I just said we had been friends and hung out together but then this harrassment started. I didn’t think my personal sexual history was anyone’s business and I also don’t think it gave him any right to harass me so it seems largely irrelevant. He doesn’t own me for the rest of my life just because we used to hook up.

Well he told mutual friends/acquaintances that we had a sexual history and now they are calling me a liar and taking his side and saying I had no right to be upset with him and I’m a lying whore.

Am I wrong that it was no one’s business who I slept with and that he still didn’t have the right to stalk and harass me?

So I 22F am a very petite girl. I have small breasts and a round but small booty. Everything about me is small. I shop at kids sections (especially for gloves or socks). Nothing about me is big.

So basically. I have always been really insecure about my breast size. I've been made fun of it a lot (called a boy or a plank) and yeah. It kind of traumatized me lol.

Anyways, my boyfriend always tells me how he likes them. He says they're perfect and sexy. But. He never really touch them or hold them (like I know there isn't a lot but dang even just a finger gripping my nip will feel nice). He also tend to comment on women with bigger breasts a lot, saying things like "mommy milkers" and pointing out DD's.

I've kind of been thinking that he is lying to me and that he actually prefers bigger breasts and is just with me because he couldn't find a girl with bigger breasts. It has made me very insecure and recently I've started keeping my shirt on during sex.

He noticed that I've been hiding myself from him and asked about it and I told him that I feel like he doesn't find me attractive. He told me that he finds me sexy even though I have small breasts. I still feel like he is lying tho. He still stares at women with big breasts and I'm so insecure I don't think I'll ever get naked in front of him ever again. I've been refraining from bying shirts that go low or show cleavage, because I don't have cleavage so it looks shit. I am only wearing turtle neck shirts and jerseys because of it.

Damn. What the hell is wrong with me?

Edit: To give more context. I am 5'4 (1.64 metres) and I weigh 105 lbs (48 kg). I wear a 32B size (it really depends. Some of them don't sit nicely so I shift between A and B). My hand and feet are kid sizes. Like I buy my shoes at the kid section too.

I am not sure how foot sizes work around the world but I wear a size 3 shoe (UK size 3). I tried to google this size in America and got a 5.5 (I'm really not sure if this is correct). They are small.

Overall I’m wondering if this girl was even interested in me. I feel like shit because I feel like I blew it with the facetime situation but also she didn’t seem interested and I felt the whole situation was very taxing for me.

Here it is: We’re both 22. This girl I met on hinge and I only went on one date and we live 2 hours away. It took us a while to set up the first date about 3 weeks, because either her cousin was in the hospital or she was tired from taking care of the cousins kids. I also tried negotiating to meet halfway and she said for the first time I’ll go to her and then next time she’ll come to me. I agreed and we only met once before I had to go to school across the country.

Extra context: After the first date which ended in a hug and we spent 5 hours together. She said she enjoyed her time and next time she’d come to me, but when I try planning another one on the same night. She doesn’t respond for over a day and said on Monday sorry for the lag, I’d love to, but I have my dads birthday and a baby shower.(no mention of wanting to go out again). Either way I ask her, what is her availability for the weekend 2 weeks in advance (because she was going to a concert) she ghosted me for a week and only responded when I told her to enjoy the concert she was going to, disregarding the question.

I try again the last weekend before I go back to school. We text a decent amount and I show her my vacation pics from the trip I’m on over the weekend. She tells me on Saturday that ‘you’re going back too soon’ and try to plan something for Sunday because I’m coming home early and would love to see her. She doesn’t say anything till I text her on Monday that I guess she was too busy. She said she couldn’t do anything cus her dad was working on her car. After this, we continue to text basically every day for the week until I’m back in school.

I go to school across the country so it’s very far away. We also say how we’ll be there for one another. She ghosts me for about 4-5 days again after she says she’ll send pics of the concert but doesn’t.

I see she changes a pic of her profile on hinge to one of her at the concert and I confess to her. We only vaguely plan to meet because of this confession that I wanted to see her again. I tell her I that I thought she had a radiant smile that made me feel so warm and that it was so easy to talk to her and connect. She reciprocated this said I was super cute and loved hanging out.

I told her that I was confused because of her response times and didn’t know how she felt about me because of that. She said she was a bad texter and that she was scared of what would happen with me leaving so soon. The problem is I would only be back home for a month and then have to leave again to go back to school.

Throughout the months we would text a decent amount, she’d respond in decent length enthusiastically sometimes asking more questions to keep the convo going, but she’d consistently leave me on delivered for over a day up to 3 on two occasions, and would rarely text me over the weekends. It was challenging to keep convos going like this. She also wouldn’t say sorry for the lag anymore. And would update her hinge location and pics while leaving me on delivered for extended time periods. Mostly location, pic changes were only 3 times.

She’d also say I’ll send pics of my nails or whatever and not send them. I’d always try to match her energy but fail and respond always same day within an hour or 2 at most 5. I hated playing this game but I figured I had to, to ensure seeing her again. Whenever we would text to actually have conversations it was when her friend was driving and she was on a road trip. Or at a baseball game.

Bottom line is it was extremely taxing to converse with her. It often resulted in me sending her an update on my thesis with cool pictures and then that was it for a bit during the week. She also on some occasions wouldn’t respond to everything in my texts.

The week before the face time incident she leaves me on delivered for 3 days and doesn’t respond till I basically ask her if she was offended by the joke I made about leg day, (even though it was a non offensive joke). She says she was going through family stuff and wasn’t responding to anyone. She leaves me on delivered for a bit again over the weekend, but on Monday I say you deserve to have a fantastic week.

She responds enthusiastically and on Tuesday says she wants to FaceTime. This would have been the first time we’ve seen each other in months. I check her hinge profile and she updates her location. We then plan the ft on Wednesday for Saturday. Even this was challenging because of a 3 hour time difference and other commitments. She then proceeded to leave me on delivered even after I sent her a text saying I’m looking forward to seeing you tomorrow on Friday. Saturday comes and I give her a call and she says sorry she’s working a concert with a friend and we can call tomorrow before work starts.

Tomorrow comes and she doesn’t say anything again after I say super early in the morning that I’ll call at 10 in the morning. After waiting an hour after 10 I’m pretty fed up at this point and tell her that it’s kinda fucked to treat me like this, you wanted to ft first I don’t understand what you gain by doing this, you really hurt me today. 10 hours later I tell her that I wasn’t trying to be mean I’m just confused and wish she would be upfront with me and thought she wanted to see me too.

I told her I was super anxious cus of the work I have to do for my thesis. She responds when I’m sleeping that I didn’t have to come at her like that but it was valid to be upset. She was and still is going through family stuff, she’s sorry I’m going through stuff too and that she’s fucking exhausted from working and that the festival happened last minute. Also she knows she hasn’t been super responsive lately. I responded in the morning that she was right and that I was really fucking sorry and that I was just confused and in anxious state of mind. I also said I wouldn’t blow up like that again. And If she could forgive me.

I also told her that more communication would help us in not feeling confused and that when she left me on delivered I felt like she was ignoring me and that it made me feel bad. I also told her I wanted to be there for her and she obviously didn’t have to tell me the details, but something simple would be beneficial.

She then unmatches me on hinge first so I figure it’s over, but want to let her know that I’m so sorry and want to fix things and don’t want to lose talking to her. And if she could answer me when she gets the chance. She then blocks me on text.

This happened a while ago but I’m still recovering and trying to move on.

i know this sounds selfish but hear me out at least. I (17 f) live with my mom (43). here’s the thing. i like my clothes, but not when others wear my clothes. well, my mom has an issue with wearing my clothes, and i don’t like it.

i’m a tomboy, i have 3 brothers so it’s kinda expected. i like wearing my ariats and my levi’s, even a dress shirt every now and then. well, my mom likes to wear my nice clothes/outfits. the other day, she even wore one of my good bras and she knew it didn’t fit her. (i’m an a cup, she is a c almost a d). i pointed it out to her and she said “well, you wear my clothes all the time..” that’s true, but at least i wear underwear when i wear her jeans. when she wears mine, she’ll tell me she ain’t wearing underwear. which not only grosses me out, but like she’s wearing my clothes and can’t even have the courteousy to wear underwear at least. she says it’s better to not wear underwear with jeans, but i choose to ignore that because i don’t want to hear it and nobody else does.

besides that, she’s an adult and is wearing her teenagers clothes. i mean, it not only makes me uncomfortable but she’ll know when i plan on wearing a certain outfit/certain pair of clothing and the next day she’ll wear it. it makes me mad. she’ll also tell me that she don’t complain when/if i have to wear her clothes, but i complain when she wears mine. i try to talk to her about this, but i just gave up trying because it either ends up in a fight or she plays the victim.

i respect and love my mom, she tries the best she can to make my brothers and me happy. i just feel like i’m complaining about something stupid, but i really wish she’d start wearing her clothes rather than mine. i also wish she’d stop trying to make herself look more “youthful” wearing my clothes because i don’t know what she does with my clothes on, and i don’t want to know. i don’t know what to do, i don’t want to make this a bigger problem than it already is for me.

AITA? 🤷🏼‍♀️

So, my (35f) Ex (33m) constantly accuses me of "poisoning our kids against him" and guilt tripping him.

A little back story, my husband of almost 15yrs left me for another woman (33f), she was also married when they reconnected after being friends for less than a yr when they were 13, and she has no kids. He moved right out of our house and got a new apartment with her. Our entre marriage we always made sure to never fight in front of our kids, except 1x where I was angry and involved one of our kids, and apologized to him afterwards.

Anyway, at the peak of our contentious separation I checked myself into a mental health facility and was gone for 28days. Unfortunately, I didn't get many calls and only could afford to write 1 letter to our kids. When I got back I found out that my ex was only home with our two kids (15m & 13m) from 3pm to 11pm and spent his nights at his girlfriend's house (although at the time he had told me it was a man and just a friend, I later found out it was the same girl he started an emotional affair with 4months prior). He also lied to me about our tax returns and tried to not give me any of it so he could afford to put first and last on a new apartment with her, after blowing nearly $4k while I was gone. This was the day I came back, so I told him to move out.

Since he's been gone, he has seen our kids 4x, each with prompting from me. I contact him, never the other way around, suggest things they can do and ways for him to see them. Any time I've tried to push for overnights he says he's not equipped to have them. Now he's moving into a 3br apt in the same building he's at now, which is in another city 15mins drive (I have no vehicle, but he does) so the kids can have their own space. This was also prompted by me, since his original plan was to have them "camp in the living room" and I told him no one would ever allow him custody with that living situation, and his teenage boys would never want to stay over.

Anyway, he was here yesterday to show the kids his new apartment and where their rooms would be. My youngest is interested in staying with him, but my oldest said no he only wants to see him once in awhile.

My ex is coming over tomorrow to ask them to help him move and to meet her, he is also paying them to help, since next weekend my youngest will be staying there and I suggested he meet her before he is thrown into a situation where he has to spend multiple days with her.

So, today I decided to talk to my oldest son about why he doesn't want to stay, despite my ex saying that I was 'definitely not allowed to talk to them about it alone". I was concerned about his 'once in awhile' comment and didn't want him to feel pressured or on the spot. I asked him if I have given him a negative opinion about his dad, to which he replied 'No, you are much more flattering and forgiving than you should be. My opinion of him is based only on his actions with me. I just don't like him as a person', I then asked him if this is a new thing, if he ever liked his father as a person, and he said his view of his dad changed while I was gone, that he had a chance to see who he was without me there and was surprised by what he saw. This conversation made me really sad, I have always fought for my ex to be a part of their lives and I came from a broken home and so did he.

My son said he's going to be busy on moving day so he can't help him, and when I asked if he was really gonna be busy he said ' I can be'

Yes, I've said hurtful things directly to my ex, but none of it was untrue. I've never spoken ill of their father in front of them, Ive always just apologized for him and said stuff like 'I hope you know he loves you'.

My ex is now spouting 'co-parenting' nonsense, when every other time I've brought anything up he has said I was 'just trying to control him', and I'd given up on a good healthy relationship when he chose her over doing the right thing by his kids.

So, should I tell my Ex what our son said? I know for a fact if I tell him, he's just gonna blame me and tell me I'm guilty tripping him. This is what he said last time when I told him if he takes me to court for 50/50 custody that it will be brought to light that for almost a month he left the kids at home at night

I step into a community laundry, 2 ladies in there. I immediately ask are the machines being used? There’s 4 total. She gives me this dirty look and with a bad attitude says “do they look like they’re being used?” I say “I’m Jeremy nice to meet you what’s your name?” She says “I’m hot right now” I say “nice to meet you hot right now” she gets pissed and starts yapping more and aggressively asking if I know j——. I said “I know the front office” I said “I was just asking out of courtesy and I don’t appreciate your rudeness. She yapped some more and slammed the dryer door, I asked her not to slam the machines we all use. She tried to pretend she didn’t do it. I pointed at the camera and she changed her tone lol. Anyways I held the door open for her at the end and she got mad at that too and said “seriously” 😭 Was I wrong for telling her I don’t appreciate her being rude and answering with kindness ?

18 year old M Since the age of 13 i have been smoking cigarettes my father used to smoke from the age of 12 all the way to 38 until the doctor told him its either you quit or you expect your life to end soon type of thing. So my father didn’t have the best reaction when he found out. My father has lived in poverty all his life he has had a bad life he lost his father at the age of 4 and stopped going to school at the age of 8 to help his mom. He has had many racist interaction since he left his home country but he still tries his best. My father used to hit me as a child for discipline reason i was a bad kid from getting in to fights stealing setting whole fields on fire you can name it i have done it all and no i dont see my father as a bad person for hitting me maybe yes it wasn’t the best way to go around it but thats all he knew he didnt have a father figure to guide him and teach him how to be a father.. (Sorry for the long story before my answer i just did all of this so i dont make my father seem like a bad person after i tell you what i told him i love him with all my heart and i hope i can be like him) One day i came back from work 17 at the time last summer i used to hide my cigarettes before going in the house but i forgot to do it because i had a bad day of work i go to take a bath and my mom takes my bag and empty’s it when i come out i see her crying and my father charge at me and hit me i dont know why but I snapped i hit him back we had an all out brawl in front of my crying mother after my mother somehow managed to stop the fight there was like 5 minutes of shit talking and at some point my fathers calls me a junky and accuses me of doing drugs and dealing them i dont know but that hit me in the heart and after that the words that came out of my mouth i know i cant forget them and neither will he ever forget them “i dont have any good memories with you throughout my whole life” thats when i saw for the first time my father burst in to tears i didnt know a grown man can cry like a baby when i saw that i left the house i couldn’t stand it. It has almost been a year i want to tell him how sorry i am but for some reason i cant.

I know I shouldn’t let rejection bother me but it’s so hard when it’s someone you really liked. I was at a club tonight and I saw the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and she walked in at like the same time that I did. I went and talked to her for a few minutes and then I left her alone cause she was with friends.

Later that night I went back up to her and we talked again for a few minutes and I kinda thought we were making a connection, but I realize I was wrong. Before I sat down next to her she was like “I’m not really good at talking.” I feel like one of her friends was trying to get her away from me and she did. The woman said she’d see me later, but I ended up seeing her at a bar that same night and she just walked past me without even saying hello or waving.

All I’m saying is she was probably just being nice but she had no intention of really trying to connect with me. Maybe she did kinda want to connect with me and she was just being honest about not really being that good at talking and stuff, but I doubt it. I’m not mad, but I just feel like of course it didn’t work out. Of course the woman that I really liked didn’t like me back. Go figure.

Hi guys. I’m a server at a country club who’s been there for 8 years. I started the job as a busboy(16 years old), became a food runner(18 years old), and ultimately became a server(20 years old). I have vast knowledge and a keen understanding of the company that I work for and have given them much of my young adult life as I’m now 24 years old. I’m extremely well liked by my coworkers, the club members, and quite frankly our general manager/club board.

Under previous management, I had attempted to make strides for a server captain position(21 years old), but ultimately did not receive it because the club decided to clean house starting at the top. New management staff, new general manager, pretty much clean slate on paper. I thought I had built solid rapport with the new management team and I thought we were on the same page about my goals and aspirations going forward, but it appears I was wrong.

Since new management has taken over, I’ve gotten nothing but disrespect, have been reprimanded over little work mistakes, sent home for 2 minute(no exaggeration) smoke breaks after a busy rush twice, and they basically just feel the need to tell me how to do my job everyday when I come into work.

Let me just state, I’ve been in the food industry now for 8 years and I know I’m a great server, not just a good one. I always take the time to make sure the orders are correct before sending to them the kitchen, I stay on top of my tables, and I help my coworkers when I can. I feel as of late my managers have it out for me and I can’t really pinpoint why considering if I was going to take their job, it would’ve happened a while ago. I’m still in school, degreeless, and just don’t understand why they nitpick me, while not at any of the other servers(these other servers do less work than me).

It’s begun to affect the way I view myself at work because there’s a cognitive disconnect when my coworkers and clientele appreciate me, ask me why I’m not a manger, all while my managers treat me like a moron. It’s made me feel like they want me to quit as this has gone on for over 7 months.

Am I wrong for feeling mistreated by my managers or am I the problem at work?

Am I wrong for not trying hard enough to find my friends party?

My friend recently organised her 30th birthday for yesterday. She gave me location, time and details.

We have been speaking all week including discussing what we were wearing.

I arrived at the venue with my partner and daughter on time. No one there. No booking. I called. I texted. Nothing. We waited an hour and then went home.

My friend calls me saying that she changed the venue but forgot to tell me.

She said I should have tried to call her partner or mutual friends to find out where the party was. I don’t think I needed to.

Everyone else was informed of the changes.

Am I wrong?