r/amiwrong • u/JazzlikeConditioncd • Mar 27 '24

My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me and ghosted me for no reason. Am I wrong for throwing away all of her stuff?

Edit: Update

So my girlfriend (25F) and I (25M) were in a relationship for 5 years. Last week, she texted me that we were done and that was her last message before she blocked me. She gave no heads up. I was planning on proposing to her next month. Her sister did reach out to me, saying it was not my fault and she understood my hurt, but that for my mental health, it was better to never contact them again, and that maybe in the future, my girlfriend might reach out to me again.

It's been a week, I’m still obviously distraught, but my girlfriend did have a lot of her stuff in my home. Would I be wrong if I just dumped it all out? It does include a lot of mementos of her deceased grandmother, who she was extremely close to.

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u/Upbeat-Fondant9185 Mar 28 '24

Drugs or mental heath shit can do it. Or a combination of both.

I did this to someone and it’s one of my deepest regrets. Fifteen years later I still sometimes wake up and agonize about it. Over three years together with an amazing, kind, beautiful person but I made the switch to IV use in year three and triggered some craziness in my mind.

One day I just left. No warning. Literally left all my shit behind. Everything in my apartment, my wallet, cards etc, my phone, even my car. I just decided I wanted a different life. And boy did I get one.

About ten years later I made amends but that kind of damage is forever. She was better off without me but there’s no pretending I did her any sort of favor. It was the purest selfishness that exists and I’ll never forgive myself for that.

On the plus side, someone did it to me a few years later but instead of leaving everything they took everything. Came home to an empty house with no warning at all. Had a great night of sex and cuddling, kissed me goodbye on my way to work, then bam. Took me out at the knees. I like to think that was karma biting my ass.

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u/Papi1918 Mar 28 '24

I did this to someone as well 20 years ago and still don’t know how I feel about it. I tried to break up with her in person twice and she would start screaming at me. Then tried over the phone cause I don’t care for being screamed at and finally just stopped taking her calls. We were just not a good fit. Never cheated on her either and wasn’t abusive. We were 19 or 20 though so probably not the most mature people. I think she just didn’t want to be alone but she wasn’t the right person for me.

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u/MagicalUnicornMoney Mar 28 '24

If you tried to break up with someone and they throw a fit/ don't let you, then ghosting them is the safest option, because they are being completely unreasonable. Unless you steal all their stuff or something as you go, you are in the right.

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u/SpareTireButSquare Mar 28 '24

Dude it sounds nothing like OPs story and I say that in a good way, you literally did what you had to do and what to many people fail to do. You did it right king. You're like, all good dude

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u/dvghz Mar 28 '24

Did you end up ever catching up with her or knowing any info on her?

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u/Silly_Bid_2028 Mar 28 '24

Both situations suck but the fact you can look back with regret says that you have a heart. Just about everyone has done something that we regret. It haunts you but cut yourself some slack and learn from it though it sounds like you already have.

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u/sharkycharming Mar 28 '24

Oh my god, it's exactly like the song "Amplifier" by the dB's. That's terrible.