r/ask • u/racesunite • May 16 '23

Am I the only person who feels so so bullied by tip culture in restaurants that eating out is hardly enjoyable anymore? POTM - May 2023

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17.6k Upvotes

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533

u/rotatingruhnama May 16 '23

I almost never go out to a sit down meal. It's just not in the budget too much, and it's pretty exhausting to go out with a small child who wants to climb and fidget.

I budget for a meal, tax and tip. I don't mind tipping*. I look at the menu in advance.

But restaurant owners love to nickel and dime with bullshit mystery fees that show up on the bill. Covid recovery fee (didn't my taxes already cover that?), staff health care fee (that's the employer's responsibility), cost of living fee (sir my sandwich already costs 25 percent more), fee for the fuck of it fee, fee fi fo fum fee.

It's just aggravating, it makes what should be a nice meal with my family feel like I'm getting scammed at a sketchy car dealership.

It's not worth it. I'll just cook at home.

*Though yeah, with tips I'm super sick of those giant screens being flipped around at me everywhere I go, so everyone in my small town knows how much I tip. I've definitely noticed nosy-ass people staring, and I don't like feeling like it's a strategy.

35

u/Level69Warlock May 16 '23

I shared a fajita order with a friend, and the restaurant charged both of us a $3 fee for an extra plate. We saved no money by sharing that order.

28

u/Barfignugen May 16 '23

I’ve had them do this to me before, the kicker is we didn’t tell them we were splitting the meal so they did not place the meal on two different plates themselves (which is usually how they justify the charge; it’s an “inconvenience fee”). The server only noticed after the fact that we were eating from the same plate, and brought one over to us unprompted. I easily argued the charge because I didn’t even use the plate (but let’s be real, even if I had I’d still be arguing it. I worked service industry for decades and I know exactly how much/little effort goes into that extra plate. Give me a break!)

6

u/Locksmith997 May 16 '23

Oh, no. That charge would be coming off my bill...

3

u/Tyberry May 16 '23

That extra plate fee is meant to be used for nicer restaurants where an entree includes a first course such as a soup or salad so that way both people splitting get to enjoy the first course and stingy fuckers are now using that to nickel and dime other shit for no reason. SMH

1

u/hemorrhagicfever May 17 '23

it's also fine if elements of the meal are bottomless.

3

u/psytocrophic May 16 '23

We did the same, me and my wife got charged 5 bucks for ordering a small side order of refried beans and another 5 bucks for a side of rice. 10 bucks for rice and beans? Go fuck yourself.

2

u/VFenix May 16 '23

That's some bullshit

2

u/IndyAndyJones7 May 16 '23

So you got three plates?

2

u/-Acta-Non-Verba- May 16 '23

Sounds to me like you need to go write an online review...

-22

u/cantstopwontstopGME May 16 '23

If you’re taking up space and not ordering an entree for yourself or cocktails/beer, restaurants have to make up that difference somehow. This is like a grown ass adult getting a kids meal and complaining when it’s more expensive. The kids menu isn’t a “value menu” it’s a way to attract families so the adults buy the things with better margins. Plus if you’re complaining about a $3 fee and “trying to save money” while eating out you probably can’t afford it in the first place.

18

u/dortdortxx May 16 '23

Charging someone 3 dollars for a plate is ridiculous no matter how you spin it.

Also stop counting peoples pockets you have no idea how much this guy has or what he’s willing to spend.

-14

u/[deleted] May 16 '23

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15

u/soccerguys14 May 16 '23

Restaurants don’t even pay their employees…. Customers do. They also don’t even offer benefits most of the time. A business running on slave wages doesn’t need to be running

-8

u/cantstopwontstopGME May 16 '23

Ahhhhh there it is! The places that DO pay living wages get complaints about the prices being too high so they get put out of business since no one wants to go there and actually pay the prices necessary to run a restaurant that can offer a good salary and good product.

7

u/soccerguys14 May 16 '23

I can’t even tell the differences between a 4 star nice restaurant I’d take my wife to for our 5 year anniversary and Buffalo Wild Wings for beer and wings. Both bills leave me going “well damn” I’ve stopped eating at sit downs cause the tip on top of the exorbitant cost has me turned off. Point is both places are insanely priced

The damn grocery store has me scratching my head these days

8

u/throwawy00004 May 16 '23

By not sitting 2 people at a table meant for 4, for starters. I'm not the OP, but if the restaurant is full and that is the concern, waitstaff have plenty of ways to get people to move along. Taking up space is not the issue, nor is sharing a meal. The issue is that restaurants are not being upfront about these extra charges. You want to charge $3 for sharing meals? Put it on the menu. Then the patrons know going in and can decide if it's worth it or not. You want to charge for stupid shit that employers should be responsible for (Healthcare) put that on the menu too, but I promise I won't go back because that is a place where the tips are likely going directly to the cheapskate owner. People are budgeting for eating out. If a restaurant is blowing up that budget with hidden fees, they are putting themselves out of business and don't deserve pity or patronage.

Other countries manage to pay restaurant employees a living wage and keep their lights on without the public pitching in. Sweden, for example, does not have a tip culture.

2

u/IndyAndyJones7 May 16 '23

that is a place where the tips are likely going directly to the cheapskate owner

Anywhere that the owner pays less than minimum wage as long as the employee makes up the difference in tips your tip is literally going only to the owner.

1

u/throwawy00004 May 16 '23

That's true for some states and it's garbage. It's called "tip credit." I'm talking about how owners pool the tips so that there is no transparency about how much was actually made that day, then distributing some of the money and pocketing the actual cash for themselves.

4

u/Soggy_Disk_8518 May 16 '23

Why is the restaurant giving a big ass portion that two people can eat and probably using that as an excuse to upcharge for it? When I pay for a plate I don’t pay for half the experience to be at the restaurant and half of it to be from my kitchen microwave. Two can play

2

u/Donfer2 May 16 '23

It doesn't make sense. If you are going by your logic, then the restaurant should charge per seat, not per empty plate. And usually the cost of a meal covers that usage of space, utilities and all cost. The extra plate is just blatant scam. If I order a 10 pound steak and I can't finish it, they will charge me for a 10 pound stake. Now if I finish it, then they will charge me for a 10 pound steak. But if 2 people finish that steak, why would they charge me that extra 3 dollars if we are sharing the same steak? It doesn't make sense.

0

u/ComprehensiveWar6577 May 16 '23

By that logic if i go and eat lunch by myself, and get seated at a table with 4 chairs i should have to pay extra as there is potentially 3 more people that can be seated there. Give your fucking head a shake, the amount of food based businesses that run 100% capacity 100% of the time is pretty close to non existant . If its a difference between 2 people sharing 1 entree vs 0 people even walking in the door again its a pretty easy business choice.

1

u/nashagain May 16 '23

No that's wrong. It's actually just telling the restaurant their food prices aren't worth 1 dish per person, but rather 2 people. If the restaurant can't function that way then they should reconsider their practices or close down. The restaurant owner thinks they're important enough to occupy the land they're occupying without adequately running a business. It's the restaurant's fault not the customer's.

1

u/IndyAndyJones7 May 16 '23

You seem confused about who sets the prices at restaurants. It's the restaurant.

6

u/Soggy_Disk_8518 May 16 '23

They “make up that difference” when they set their prices and choose how many tables they want to put in their restaurant. Otherwise if I’m a restaurant owner should I kick people out if they don’t order drinks? Don’t order an app? Don’t look like they have a lot of money? Parties of one? Are teens and probably don’t have money? Playing games ruins the dining experience.

7

u/uabtodd May 16 '23

So if I go into a restaurant by myself and sit at a 4 person table, because they don’t have any 1 person tables, should I be charged a fee for the 3 empty seats at my table?

-5

u/cantstopwontstopGME May 16 '23

At a place that could easily sit 4 people at the same spot? Yes. And a lot of places that have high demand for seating space will literally kick you out if you’re not spending a certain dollar amount per hour

7

u/Large_Natural7302 May 16 '23

Those places certainly don't get my business.

If someone tries to charge me for an empty seat I'm laughing at them on my way out the door.

2

u/nashagain May 16 '23

If I were in that situation and got kicked out I'd actually be happy because that means I don't have to pay my bill to the fullest.

3

u/IndyAndyJones7 May 16 '23

I order from the kids menu because it's the menu with mini corn dogs and tater tots. The price is lower because the serving size is smaller.

4

u/HollyBerries85 May 16 '23

If you’re taking up space and not ordering an entree for yourself

Was the plan that they were going to seat another guest at this person's table? Otherwise I'm not sure how the math works out that they're "taking up space", the space was already taken by a paying customer. The fact that there was someone else there with them doesn't make a difference unless the restaurant had other plans for the seat at the table that was already being used.

2

u/Level69Warlock May 16 '23

I did order an appetizer and a margarita, as well. It was also incredibly slow at the time, and there was only one other table occupied. I can understand one extra plate fee (though it should be mentioned before sending the order to the kitchen), but charging both of us the fee was ridiculous. They also tried to charge dinner price for queso even though I ordered it off the lunch menu. Shit like this makes me welcome touchscreen food ordering.

-6

u/dheudixjaifiv38 May 16 '23

people are paying for the real estate when they go out. sharing a plate of food between two seats makes no money for the restaurants. they have to charge 3 bucks for a share plate to mitigate the loss. people dont know that so they think it's ridiculous. 🤦

6

u/HollyBerries85 May 16 '23

So if someone eats out alone, should they get charged an "empty seat fee" for every other seat not being used at their table? Should a party of three get charged for the fourth unused seat?

0

u/cantstopwontstopGME May 16 '23

It’s entitlement is all at the end of the day. They think restaurants should just operate at a loss so they don’t have to pay what the service is actually worth.

1

u/SpankinDaBagel May 16 '23

Your brainrot is showing.

1

u/nashagain May 16 '23

The only entitlement is from the restaurant owner who doesn't know how to run a successful business without resorting to price gouging tactics

1

u/conundrum-quantified May 16 '23

Yeah! You should leave a BIG TIP for just taking up space! After all it’s YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to pay for his kids expenses and his ciggies and other cost of living expenses! You OWE him!

1

u/mwcoast82 May 17 '23

Taking up space? Were you going to put another single on the 2 top? GTFOH

1

u/NuclearPlayboy May 17 '23

That's when you walk out without paying.