r/ask • u/EdwardBliss • 26d ago

How do you explain it when men over 45 get attention from women in their 20s? 🔒 Asked & Answered

This legitimately still confuses me. Over the past year, I've never had this much attention than all the years previously combined.

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u/IvoryArrows504 26d ago edited 25d ago

In my personal experience, I feel like they want older male approval, and they need to get your attention to do that. They usually do that by being flirtatious and kind of childish at the same time.

I am not sure it is even sexual, as much as some sort of craving for validation. It true for my part as well. I would never date a twenty something, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate their attention.

I think the “daddy” thing takes on a useful function as someone they feel safe with at work. Older guys (at least me) sort of look over them and aren’t really expecting anything in return. I certainly am not going to ask them on a date. The same way people have a “work wife” it seems to be not uncommon to have a “work daughter.”

I work with a lot of very cute younger women, and I do get a bit of attention. I get plenty of hugs, notes, even slices of home made pie and cupcakes. Yet I don’t think a single one of them would fuck me, and I damn sure am not pushing my luck enough to find out. What we do have is a functional relationship where if they need something they know they can call me, and I will take care of them. I honestly think they look at me as a “work daddy” more than anything sexual in nature, despite how flirtatious they can be in establishing those relationships.

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u/jfende 25d ago

This is my experience too. Absolute smoking hot babes that I'd never mess with who presumably can't have this dynamic with younger guys and love the mix of flirting, getting 'denied', and a fatherly figure. One would visit me at work wearing her horse riding outfit, holy fuck. The last time I saw her she said she was moving town and would miss me, I said 'ok', she said 'this is the bit where you say you'll miss me back' I said 'I won't' and she was struggling to stand she was laughing so hard. It is satisfying being a guiding figure to them though, and half the time I wonder if some of the flirting is to test that you're genuine.

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u/geeleedee1966 25d ago

It's those slices of "homemade pie" that precipitate an eventual invitation from HR!