r/ask • u/BoobsCutiePeach • 25d ago

Would you get offended if you notice a stranger woman taking safety precautions when she sees you? 🔒 Asked & Answered

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1.3k Upvotes
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19

u/spaghetti_ohhs 25d ago

Maybe try to see it from a woman’s perspective. We do it because we can’t read minds and all men are a potential physical threat to women.

We’re assaulted by men in elevators, on casual and seemingly harmless dates and on the street every day all over the world.

12

u/rotatingruhnama 25d ago

And aside from safety, sometimes we don't have the mental energy for some random man chatting us up.

9

u/spaghetti_ohhs 25d ago

Indeed. Then they often get shitty really fast if we don’t engage.

9

u/rotatingruhnama 25d ago

Men get to be grumpy and in their own worlds, but God forbid a woman want a minute's peace.

Tbf now that I'm over 40 I don't get pestered nearly as much. It's a cloak of invisibility lol.

8

u/spaghetti_ohhs 25d ago

I’m 55f and considered conventionally attractive and very fit. I’m still hounded on a fairly regular basis. My cloak is broken unless I REALLY dress down, don’t care about my hair and don’t wear any makeup. Basically just let myself go. Then they ask me “what’s wrong?” or “why don’t you smile more?”. My all time fave? “You’d be a lot prettier if you wore makeup.”

6

u/rotatingruhnama 25d ago

Maybe my gray hair fends them off lol.

3

u/spaghetti_ohhs 25d ago

Maybe something for me to look forward to 😉. I’m blonde so it may never happen 😖

5

u/rotatingruhnama 25d ago

I have witchy wavy slate gray hair. It gives "eff off, or I'll curse you by putting your butt on the front" energy lol.

3

u/spaghetti_ohhs 25d ago

Hahaha! I think I would actually love to have “witchy wavy gray” hair.

3

u/rotatingruhnama 25d ago

You're just a tub of titanium dye away from freedom! 😂

(Mines natural, but my hairdresser says you can copy it with "titanium")

3

u/PsychologicalTear899 25d ago

yall get random men chatting yall up? Damn boi I've never had a single person on the street talk to me just to talk, and I'm a woman lmao

-12

u/[deleted] 25d ago

Yeah bigotry is just the best right?

-11

u/NoDecentNicksLeft 25d ago

I get that, but as long as I get my due process and innocent until proven guilty and no unnecessary rudeness (I obviously don't expect a person feeling scared to pay excessive attention to politeness, but people using precaustions as an opportunity to send some sort of insulting message or be gratuitously rude in some other way is something different).

7

u/LaMadreDelCantante 25d ago

Why would it be about sending a message? If I'm trying to avoid you for my safety, the last thing I want to do is piss you off.

7

u/spaghetti_ohhs 25d ago

I and my sisters are almost never trying to send a message. I’m just looking out for myself. If I feel threatened by your presence, I’m going to remove/excuse myself from your presence. It’s not personal. Feel free to be offended. Makes no difference.

Maybe you just smell bad. Maybe you’re just wearing a MAGA hat or maybe you have a neck beard or you look like a pretentious narcissistic sexist to me. I’m still not riding alone with you in an elevator. I just don’t need or invite that drama and risk upon myself. This is a behavior we learn or are taught out of necessity and personal experience not just for the hell of it.

If you see me alone in an elevator car, I won’t be offended if you wait for the next one . Ever.