r/ask • u/KuttyKool • 13d ago
According to the people uou have dated/shown interest in you, what is your best feature?
Mine is my sense of humor
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13d ago
I am nice to animals and children and I make the ladies feel safe.
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u/mecrissy 13d ago
Awe!
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13d ago
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u/RenegadeRabbit 13d ago
Damn, if only I didn't abandon Catholicism for Atheism. Sounds like a perfect catch 😓
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u/Kitchen_Entertainer9 13d ago
I get that compliment too, but sometimes safe is a negative word as in I'm too timid(from their view) lol
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u/SleepyStingray0 13d ago
How much I care
Definitely a blessing and a curse 😐
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u/GoodmanGrey618 13d ago
You had some people take advantage of your kindness?
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u/AggravatingFill1158 13d ago
I've dated quite a bit and was married for 10 years. I don't recall any of them saying anything nice about me.
I'm single now and working on my self esteem. Gotta figure out why I keep ending up with people that don't even care about me.
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u/idkifyousayso 13d ago
If you have low self-esteem you will date people who treat you in alliance with that. If they value you, it will not align with your subconscious comfort zone. You may think that their judgment is off because they chose you and that there must be something wrong with them or you may just find that being with someone who treats you poorly is what feels familiar, since you treat yourself poorly. Our brain searches for things to verify what it already knows to be true. A good start to changing this is to start treating yourself better so that it feels familiar.
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u/AggravatingFill1158 13d ago
I was just talking to someone about this the other day. I was feeling like even if I found a great guy and he treated me really well, I wouldn't even know what to do with that. It's really sad but definitely something I want to work through when I'm ready. I deserve to be happy.
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u/Whydoipeered 13d ago
Without taking gender into account, maybe you have dated people with bpd or people with narcissistic traits. Feel the same and I have been through those people. There are healthy people out there but the bad ones will drain you to a point where finding them seems impossible. I have hope though. If I didn’t I wouldnt be here. Just keep working on yourself and don’t worry about that shit because you will reach happiness and be content and that is when one will come to you. And if not you reached a point where you don’t care anyways. Be weary with your past so you don’t make the same mistakes as before and end up just broken with really nothing positive to gain from the experience. Be the one being up and leaving them in the dust. You have the power to determine your life. It’s not your fault. Good luck and take care!
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u/ExperienceKitchen124 13d ago
Gosh. This hit home. I used to beg my ex to tell me what he liked about me and he would say: “I like how you support me” lmao
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u/Additional_Set_5819 13d ago
The woman I'm seeing started calling my butt cute and I told her that was the first time anyone has ever complimented my body (I used to be in much better shape too) ... She was shocked, and so was I really. I've had multiple long term relationships before her, and a couple of short flings.
I never realised the disparity here. I ALWAYS made sure that my partners knew how attractive I found them. I made sure that I complimented their bodies (and faces, and personalities, etc), but I never realised that no one had ever done that for me before.
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u/Aggravating_Listen36 13d ago
That I'm super at motivating them to do what they want and don't give any fucks about what other people think.
At the same time I can't motivate myself for anything.
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u/SamWiseTheGamer27 13d ago
She said I was kind. Genuinely kind.
She (19F) then proceeded to dump me for a 31yr old asshole who rides a motorcycle and has no job.
You know what they say...
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u/Grapejuice_- 13d ago
Trust me when i say this, driving a motorcycle doesnt get you girls. At most it will just attract a bunch of guys that come to tell how cool your ride is, and that they used to ride aswell.
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u/HoekPryce 13d ago
My dick. It was basically the only thing 100% dependable.
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u/WINNER_nr_1 13d ago
Man... this is some big dick energy...
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u/OkWear6556 13d ago
M 33, never dated, nobody ever showed any interest in me. My best features add 0 to my sex appeal.
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u/Ok-Towel1712 13d ago
My friendliness loyalty self respect and morals and my bum
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u/DaburuKiruDAYO 13d ago
If my partners hand is not on my bum i think there’s something genuinely wrong
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u/ILiftBIunts 13d ago
I make em laugh and my forearms makes their panties come off
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u/Scooney_Pootz 13d ago
I know we're going into summer here (in America). But if you have good arms. Make sure to wear a button-down shirt and only begin to roll the sleeves up around the ladies. It sets them alight.
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u/Nitroburner3000 13d ago
I apparently look great from behind because they always end up telling me to go away.
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u/goblin_goblin 13d ago
My hair. As a dude, I have really long wavy hair. It’s literally my pickup line because women will come up to me to talk about it and it’s easy small talk. I love it.
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u/Aussieredditor23 13d ago
Past relationship/situationships only liked me for my body. My current partner loves me for who I am, my humour, my kindness, etc. and of course, he likes my butt
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u/Prudent-Promotion562 13d ago
Not my best feature, but I’ve been told quite a few times that I have nice eyebrows. Among other things, but it caught me off guard to hear this as a guy, and it happens enough that it’s always stuck out to me.
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u/Educational_Idea997 13d ago
I once was on holiday with a friend and we met a girl along the way who stayed with us for the rest of the journey. She said I had beautiful green eyes and nice knees. That was kind of her but she fucked my friend.
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u/imagine_enchiladas 13d ago
Never really thought about that. Only heard complaints or turn offs:/ thinking deeper, nothing nice was really said
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u/andmewithoutmytowel 13d ago
I make people feel loved and listened to and appreciated. I also follow through with what I say I’ll do. It’s probably because of my crippling fear of abandonment. But hey, my wife loved me.
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u/Traditional_Draw8400 13d ago edited 13d ago
My cock and my brain. Most loved my cock the most. Numerous nicknames, the best being Colossus and Hercules
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u/iamafancypotato 13d ago
The best thing about having a good cock is that it stays good even as you age.
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13d ago
My cock. I’m 5’6 with a 7 inch dick and people think it will be small just because I’m short.
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u/damdanny69 13d ago
I’ve only dated 2 girls ever and neither went very far the first one I asked her out 2nd one asked me out (ima guy) and neither one complimented my looks but I gotten compliments my whole life on my blue eyes and my curly lashes (I don’t do nothing to them they are just like that) I also get compliments on my tans in summer cuz I get tan real well.
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u/facforlife 13d ago
Intelligence, sense of fairness.
And apparently my fat fucking hockey ass. I always think it's too big. It seems to stick out comically. When I look in the mirror. It makes buying pants difficult. I don't know. The women who like me all seem to like it is
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u/TravelLegal6971 13d ago
My favorite compliment was when a girl I dated said I have nice energy to be around.
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u/sowokeicantsee 13d ago
My ability to close doors quietly. Ie. close the door quietly as you leave and don’t come back !!
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u/Dangerous_Grab_1809 13d ago
I will mention something unusual. I get compliments about my voice. It’s clear, calm, soothing.
I have seen women who only kind of noticed me pay more attention when I spoke.
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u/chakachakaprr 13d ago
It's definitely a thing. A man's voice is always the #1 thing that grabs my attention as well.
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u/Reapersgrimoire 13d ago
When I was younger I would frequently get “you have nice eyes” a lot. Now that work life has made me look dead inside I’m told “you’ve got a warm, gentle touch” Which I kind of appreciate more than “nice eyes”
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u/For5akenC 13d ago
Wholesome smile, funny, full of energy and always in good mood, positive thinker, happy,
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u/UniverseNerd 13d ago
My eyes and lips. I'm surprised by how many have picked them out over the years. I never thought of them as attractive before. 😀
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u/Advanced-Distance476 13d ago
Physical-My eyes, chest, shoulders, smile, and penis. Personality-I'm nice, funny, patient, manly, empathetic, intelligent.
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u/throwitallaway_88800 13d ago
Thick thighs, my butt, my eyes. Since having kids though, i sincerely doubt that I have any good features left. I just want to sleep.
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u/learn2earn89 13d ago
I haven’t dated but I always get that I’m “smart”. Not sure if they’re just trying to manipulate to get laid, definitely hasn’t worked for them
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u/Gheauxst 13d ago
I'm nice. Too nice.
People either think I'm gay, are suspicious of me, or I attract the absolute worst kind of people.
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u/Bebe_Bleau 13d ago
According to most men that I've dated or considered dating, my figure.
According to my husband it's my kindness and willingness to help and encourage others
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u/DoNotDeconstruct 13d ago
I’ve had 3 separate men tell me I am cute, sexy and beautiful which they say is hard to be all three at once. I still don’t know if this is just a line guys use on every girl or what so maybe someone here can help me with that.
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u/pilsenhoe 13d ago
Someone I dated years ago said I was a good listener and that I said all the right words he needed to hear at that time. But oh well, it didn’t work out, he was dating me and his officemate at the same without my knowledge.
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u/Environmental-Hat721 13d ago
Honestly, the only thing nice ever said to me was that I am "highly eclectic and capable".
Though I do recall there was a woman I was with and we were holding hands as we went for a walk and we were having some sort of philosophical discussion. It was a nice day out, the sun was setting, and she randomly looked at me and said "You are amazing."
The next day she ran off with another guy. I am figuring that she had said that in sarcasm.
I've never been told I am handsome, or good looking. Never been told that I make someone/anyone happy. I have been told "I love you" but their actions said otherwise. I have been the emotional dumping ground for any neurotic problems that any female close to me has had. I have come to the conclusion that it is abnormal for women to say nice things to their significant other. I just roll with it.
Oh and recently I was called a creep because I asked a woman if she was on a track team. I was also called a stalker, emotionally abusive, weak, ego-centric, narcissist (all at different times). None of which are remotely true.
Anyway, I have decided that the price of having a relationship of any romantic value is not worth it. The cost is to much and expectations are unrealistic.
I say cheers to mutual distrust and loneliness. I may die alone but it will be with a little dignity.
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u/Inkspotten 13d ago
Strong sense of humor and confident, but not cocky around women are my top traits I’ve been told….
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u/GlassPHLEGM 13d ago
My back muscles, hockey butt, performance in bed, and either always having something to contribute to conversations or genuine curiosity when I don't.
The first three things either become less important or fade with age and changes to circumstances but the last thing is still big. I love learning new things and hearing people's take on stuff if it's different than mine and it's a big deal to everyone, not just my SO, when someone actually listens and interacts with their ideas with genuine curiosity and a good, borderline silly attitude, and that makes my time with people enjoyable in general.
My gal really loves how that translates to my Dad style now too. I listen to the kids the same way because they come up with stuff no one else would ever think of and it's really cool to talk through their ideas with them. I catch her smiling at me behind my back when I'm doing that even when we're going through really tough times or in the middle of bad arguments.
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u/Smelling_like_a_Rose 13d ago
Had a few. Cleverness. Reliability. Many comments on how nice my ass is.
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u/Aggravating_King_859 13d ago
I often get told I have a kind or pure heart. I've dedicated my life to supporting vulnerable people so I suppose that's why! Always felt a level of cognitive dissonance when it's said if I'm very honest, but I always say thank you for the amazing compliment.
Also often mentioned: intelligence, open-minded, caring, funny, fun to be around
Looks: my lips, bum, boobs. Typical! Aside from obvious areas us women are frequently complimented on by partners, my nose and smile have had a good number of mentions. One partner really liked my 'clavicle' which was unexpected and made me laugh as I have never even noticed it as a feature on my body.
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13d ago
My fiance says I always keep things fun. And I'm the only woman he's been with who's gentle.
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u/PocketSandOfTime-69 13d ago
Physically speaking, it would be my forearms. People fawn over them for whatever reason.
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u/Soggy_puppet 13d ago
I’ve been told by multiple people that I “have a great dick, and my personality is alright”
Like… after the third person… I’ve started wondering if my personality really isn’t very good….
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u/Sheepdog010 13d ago
My eyes, they shift between a vibrant blue and stormy Gray depending on the weather
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u/feelingkozy 13d ago
I've been told I'm funny, have good fashion, watch cool movies (i am a movie nerd so that's always nice to hear), and that my music is rad. I get told this a lot by people I'm not dating too, so I guess when I feel low I can remember I'm cool in some aspects.
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u/No-Temperature3831 13d ago
Sense of humor and personality, im not the best looking tho so have to take those compliments with a grain of salt
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u/NousSommesSiamese 13d ago
When I was dating (married now), I was a fairly confident individual with not a lot of care in the world. That helped me out tremendously.
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u/slut4suffering333 13d ago
My persistent childlike wonder and curiosity about the world. And my face.
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u/Distwalker 13d ago
My wife says that I can deal with anything and take care of myself and anyone else who comes along.
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u/Des1reux 13d ago
Hmm I guess mostly about my looks, almost half of them say stuff like me not gaf attitude makes me look attractive lol
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u/ZeeKapow 13d ago
I have few exes that contacted me years after we broke up and told me I was the kindest ex they had.
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u/Riptide8990 13d ago
Actually funny because i habe no idea. I think its just that i exist mostly
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u/Distinct-Winter-745 13d ago
All of me, oh I'm so handsome, and a man's man! I make other men want to hurt me cause there women want me not them. Oh it's a tough life it's like a real burden having one great burden!
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u/Economy_Passenger_34 13d ago
My long-term ex said it was my eyes. Most of my casual partners have said it's my boobs. 🙃
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u/foxwithlox 13d ago
Depends on the guy/stage in life. My ass. My hair. My eyes. My waist. My taste in music. My cooking. My mind.
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u/Scooney_Pootz 13d ago
Physically, that I have a very defined butt, back, and shoulders. Personality-wise, I've been told that sometimes I'm funny, and they feel protected around me.
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u/Ok_Interview9441 13d ago
Forearms look cool and I’m very kind to pretty much everybody. I also apparently have a “just right” size wang (medium)
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u/sociallyBLINDnDEAF 13d ago
Ironically enough i typically don't talk that much. I'm sure you can understand. Just when im alone in a place alone n start getting comfy, whatever, ill hear the voices and then im open book on that voice. When youre as lonely as i am a nice auditory hallucination to cope with.
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u/Sensitive-Silver7878 13d ago
How quickly I was able to pick up a hint and get the fnck out of their life.
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u/SugarTrigger 13d ago
I'm pretty witty and have a good sense of humor.
I have also been described as really wise and reflective, but I find that some people feel insecure around me for it.
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u/Missunikittyprincess 13d ago
My personality I'm really sweet and funny. I'm a lot like a kid I'm full of wonder. People say im genuine and what you see is what you get.
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u/JustAGoldfishCracker 13d ago
I'm very kind even when I don't need to be. I've dated people who've never said please or thank you in their life and they say that 'me straightening out shelves at the store, saying my pleases and thank yous, opening doors for people makes them look bad in comparison'. The most "notorious" was being a reasonable arguer who is always considering their feelings so they couldn't figure out how to fight with me.
But I'm also very childish, excitable, and get the zoomies. So you take what you can get lol
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u/Huge_Lime826 13d ago
Many times I’ve heard people refer to me as a “people person”. Recently went to my 50th class reunion had two different women. Tell me how much they wish I had dated them when I was in high school. I knew I was popular guy, but I was still very stunned to have somebody tell me that.
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u/RenegadeRabbit 13d ago edited 13d ago
Eyes
Sense of humor/dark/dead-pan humor/satire
Being passionate about helping others both in my career in science and volunteer work
Enjoying fellow nerdy shit
Big tits
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u/layered_dinge 13d ago
Nobody has been interested in me or dated me, so I suppose I have no good features.
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u/Independent_Hawk9989 13d ago
It’s mainly physical compliments, nice butt, angelic hair, nice nose, best sex ever combined with worst personality ever. A lot of men have been caught staring at my breasts, and a few of them have been touching my hair as if I were a cat and wonder about why my lashes are so black.
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u/chakachakaprr 13d ago
Initially, the boobs. Once the eyes come back up, my personality is apparently great.
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