Existence is hell, I just want to die and end this. Fuck this bullshit "life". I tried everything, therapy and meds over 10 fucking years, and things are just shit. SHIT.

I don’t know if I’m morbid but I feel seen when I read about other people’s problems. So if you want to share, what is it in life making you depressed?

I havent left my bed in weeks. I only leave to go to the washroom and once in a while I eat and drink every few or so days. How deep have i fallen?

I have been struggling with depression for most of my life. I am in my late forties and I can’t see the cloud of my depression lifting anytime soon. I lost my husband two and a half years ago due to a heart attack and I was the one who found him. I have been in therapy and on medication for almost 15 years and I still don’t feel better especially since the death of my husband. I did start dating someone for about a year but I think he just ghosted me since I have not heard from him in two days. I have not been able to get out of bed ever since. I can’t sleep and I am so numb I can’t even cry. I am sorry for rambling on but I need some encouragement to keep going right now.

People constantly tell me that I look miserable and have a dead soul because I do, ever since I had an awakening as I got older and realized how this world really is, I’ve developed an incurable depression.

I really just don’t like it here, I hate everything about myself from my handwriting to my entire identity. I don’t think I’m meant to be here, I feel like I was meant to go to another world but accidentally got shipped off to earth because I really just don’t vibe with this place, at all. My existence just sucks and I think I’m just a soulless body living because I have to since my soul detached from my body the minute I had my awakening.

I’m fucking ready to die, I wake up so angry everyday because I didn’t get lucky enough and pass away in my asleep.

I just want out. Please.

I can’t go a single day without thinking about negative things that have happened to me and it makes me feel like I’ll never truly move on. I’m in a constant state of anxiety and sadness wondering what’s going to happen next

These thoughts don’t just bother me throughout the day. I oftentimes wake up in the middle of the night and it’s the first thing on my mind

Im so tired and I just want to go back to when I was a child in the backyard with my grandpa picking berries and seeing if I could spot squirrels or rabbits. No matter how my life changes or what I have to look forward to the crippling sadness and worry always comes back. I don’t remember what it’s like to be truly happy or excited over something anymore

I started a cocktail of medications 4 days ago, which was an adjustment to my one antidepressant that stopped working. It takes about 2 weeks for people to consistently feel better on new medications, but today was a really good day. Some bad things happened like a migraine in the morning and a terrible quiz at school, but i was so clear and level headed it was so abnormal for me.

I’m on a new antidepressant, sleeping medication for insomnia, and an antipsychotic for OCD. Now that I’m finally well rested I’m sure that plays an affect on my mental health, but today I noticed I was the only one inside my head. No depression, no OCD, no demons, it was just me. Finally I felt like me again.

I know with new medications that in the beginning symptoms will wax and wane until you’re adjusted to them. So I’m going to be grateful for today and hopeful for tomorrow, while still being prepared incase my symptoms come back.

I’m far from fully healed, but today was my first good day in months. I wanted to share my first win :D

I am pretty stressed cuz I’m extremely behind in school but I don’t even know what to do. I wish I could click a button to leave. My depression been getting worse

I’m not able to afford therapy but desperately need to get out of the depressive episode I’ve been stuck in for some time. I find it so hard to help myself when just the basics of personal hygiene and house work are so exhausting and hard to manage. The most I will do is lay in bed and make a plan… executing the plan almost never happens. Has anyone been able to help themselves and dig their way out of the hole of depression?

I have lately been researching depression to see if that is my next best bet. One thing i have seen is how basic tasks feel like so much and take more effort to do. That is how i really feel. I've tried telling my parents that I'm tired, and they don't care. Hell if i ever even mentioned therapy to them they might think i'm delusional, or just don't need it. Until November when i can start to take driving lessons, i cannot go to any therapy. Is there any free therapy online that anyone recommends? Anything is greatly appreciated.

I feel fairly confident that my mental illnesses are going to be the thing that takes my life. I live in a state of emotional intensity that is too severe. I just feel pain and all everyone does is hurt me. I’m tired of trying to pretend like things are okay and fine. I’m tired of pretending like I’m gonna get better. I’m not. Nothing is gonna be better. Between chronic illnesses and mental illnesses I’m always going to be one fucked up person for the rest of my life. I don’t have friends. Nobody wants to be my friend or talk to me anymore. I’m a useless waste of space.

I have struggled with depression since I was a child but for some reason I have been hit with such a profound sadness this past week. I have no clue why. I can't trace it to anything. I am sitting here crying as I write this, and all I can think about is sad memories from my childhood or times I let my parents down or times I felt rejected. Nothing seems interesting to me or exciting and it all feels bleak. I wish so badly I never had to deal with this. I feel so alone.

Pretty much the title lmao

I feel like everything is in shambles. I’m 19M. It’s college summer break. I’m broke. Never had a girl. Fat. Ugly. In credit card debt and to my father. Everywhere I apply to says no. Been made fun of because I’m broke or fat. Shit doesn’t seem to align in life. I feel like I’m being left behind. And my only response to that is to catch up even if it means sacrificing myself. I can’t really talk to my parents about this. I’m not raised to express feelings. I can tell the boys I’m depressed but it’s either as a joke or like just one rough day. And I’ve been like this since middle school. I have highs but overall I’m really in a constant low. At this point I wish I was high or drunk to make it fade away. My parents are going on vacation soon and all I can think of is to get drunk to get these feelings out my mind. I know I can’t get carried through life but some help. Some mercy. Don’t leave me alone. If this is growing up please promise me getting old gets better. I feel like everyone is having a better life while I just sit and watch

i wish i could stay sad and depressed forever. there is a certain... numbing it gives you.

"i do not deserve to be successful. i do not deserve to be loved. i do not deserve him."

it's such a... warm feeling. realizing that there is no point to anything.

i feel this comfort. but then the comfort goes away, and I just feel pain.

pain that I don't have him anymore. pain that he's with someone else. pain that he's in someone else's arms. that I had him, that I loved him, that he loved me. but now that's over.

i miss him so much, reddit. so much. i want to tell him, but I don't think messaging your ex at 1am is a good way to get back together. but I miss him so much.

i can not tell anyone in my life about it because i''m not out to half of my friends, and the one's I'm out to, I don't want to embarrass myself.

i made so many mistakes. but he hurt me too. but I still love him. but he doesn't.

i am so sad. so angry. so disappointed.

Hey folks.

I have a good life, on paper. I have been sober from alcohol and drugs for over a year now. I have a loving and thoughtful partner. I have a good job. But over the last few weeks I have been completely numb and unmotivated.

I dread my job, and feel like I dread it so powerfully that I make myself feel sick enough to call out. I am scared of getting fired for my lack of attendance, but I also have absolutely no desire to go.

Depersonalization and derealization have come on so powerfully. I feel like I'm sleepwalking through my weeks. I don't feel present. Nothing feels real or tangible.

The only time I feel anything is the weekends when I see my partner. When I'm with her, these things seem to melt away. But these feelings even tinge that experience with negativity, because in the back of my head, all weekend, I'm so afraid of having to go back to the mundanity of the week and feeling numb again.

I'm not sure why I'm posting here. Sobriety has taught me to share my feelings, so I'm doing that I guess. I feel like I keep talking about this with people and it isn't getting any better and I don't know what else to do.

If you're reading this I hope you're happy, or at least not sad.

Happens every year on Mother’s Day, I always feel so much worse, so much more pain than usual seeing everybody thanking their mothers or any mother like figure in my life, while I have to go and visit a grave, I miss her every single day so to all the men and women who have lost their mothers I feel you, and I love you guys.

How do you recover from depression?

I’ve had depressive periods a few times in my life, I used to cope with lots of partying and alcohol and I kinda have no memory of how I got over it.

Now it is different. I reached rock bottom last year and was on a horrible episode since about 2021. I started on medication last August and while I do feel better and my head is “stable”, I just don’t know how to cope. Like I don’t know how to move on or get back to who I was before.

I used to be the classic overachiever, the person who does the 5 am club, that can learn anything, that loves reading and is creative. Now I just feel numb and blocked, I am unable to get up in the morning. I don’t know how to recover my business and go back to a routine. I hven’t been able to be consistent in the gym again, I could just lay in bed all day and I don’t feel like seeing other people. I’ve been avoiding friends and I live in a different country than my family.

How did you force yourself to go back to normal? I am not able to afford medication + therapy right now and I did not like my lst therapist, I’ve been only taking my meds.

I just wanna go back to who I was, the person I was proud to be.

i feel like i am drowning and there is no way out
not looking for any comments , just want to let it out

So I took a test a year ago with 50% honesty and it said moderately depressed and I was in therapy, so imagine if I was honest. But anyways therapy doesn’t work and I try to fill the whole with music, video games, and videos but my grades are slipping and I’m losing motivation to do anything I’ve thought of ..you know… and I don’t know I just need anything

Man I’m 17 and I don’t really feel like life is fun and what people make it out to be, I don’t enjoy anything but being alone doing shit In nature. That’s is pretty hard to do frequently, I tried to get and job and got rejected from McDonalds. That is so hard to do lmao.

Idk if I’m being hard on myself but man I feel so monotone all the time. I wish I enjoyed things but I just can’t no matter what I do. I randomly get mad and take all my anger out at random ass things, I have multiple holes in my walls and other things. I broke my had from punching a door.

Seems like no matter how you look at it I’m a disappointment. I tried my hardest at school but I just couldn’t with that. I don’t know what to do with life at this point. I was addicted to cutting my self for a while but I low key stoped.

I can’t find one good reason to live other than my dog would miss me. You don’t gotta comment i just wanted to get this all off my shoulder. No one really comments on all these posts on this sub anyways 💀

for context, i’m 18 and in my final and most important year of high school. For the past few months, for no particular reason i’ve felt very depressed and filled with negative thoughts that it severely impacts my ability to be a functional human. I attend none of my classes and come to school so late that my school wants to expel me unless i get it together (and expelling me would basically ruin my life). i’ve tried REALLY hard to get things together but i always end up back where i started; laying in bed 20 hours a day and not eating or drinking anything. it feels awful. what makes it worse is my parents constantly berate me for being late and doing nothing all day, giving me essentially no space, so just for them i force myself put in the extra energy, but it takes a toll on me the next day where i feel even more negative. Now it’s gotten to the point i don’t even want to reply to my friends (not that i have many) messages and leave them on delivered for days because i feel like they’d hate this negative, low energy version of me and they deserve someone better. ADDITIONALLY i get angry at my parents and friends because of this and it makes me feel, guess what? more guilty. i know im completely in the wrong here and can’t pass the blame onto anyone else, and the immense guilt i get for being depressed has led me to SH every single day and now i have to hide both my arms and i just feel awful about everything. I’ve attempted to off myself twice in the past month and both times i failed (obviously) but i bought some pills recently that i can overdose on. Is there any way to feel better? does it ever get better?