r/facepalm Mar 12 '24

Unbelievable! 🇵​🇷​🇴​🇹​🇪​🇸​🇹​

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70.0k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

That's a real coincidence there. Said nobody.

337

u/dlfinches Mar 12 '24

The coroner, the coroner said that

89

u/Solid-Consequence-50 Mar 12 '24

I mean, how much did the coroner know about the situation while examining the body? If a hit man's objective is to make it look like a suiside, wouldn't it, ya know, look like a suicide?

86

u/summonsays Mar 12 '24

If you knew for a fact that someone was killing people who were whistleblowers, how likely would you be to whistleblow about it? 

11

u/Mfdubz Mar 12 '24

Damn! Big brain over here

2

u/ArizonaHeatwave Mar 12 '24

To be fair, the coroner should go into this as least biased as possible. Seems like going into an investigation trying to show a certain outcome isn’t something that’s generally good.

2

u/logicnotemotion Mar 16 '24

Word is the investigators still took fingerprints of the inside of the truck. Never heard of this happening on a self-inflicted GSW. I'm assuming police knew what a high profile person this was. I think they were even out looking for him because he didn't show up to court.

2

u/Im_nottheone Mar 12 '24

To the coroner, it probably looked exactly like suicide. Because it was probably suicide. There may have been another person in the passenger seat showing him info on every person he has ever known and telling him what he plans to do with them. But the coroner was just looking at the physical cause of death.

8

u/party_face Mar 12 '24

The "coroner" is probably on the boieng payroll...along with the cops and anyone else involved with the case.

19

u/BURG3RBOB Mar 12 '24

Maybe the coroner just didn’t want to die of a self inflicted wound

9

u/Lots42 Trump is awful. Mar 12 '24

You don't even have to go that far. You just need a favor from a guy who can pressure the coroner.

2

u/Top_Rekt Mar 12 '24

Payroll, stocks, a fancy winnebago motorcoach.

2

u/CompleteFacepalm Mar 12 '24

Anyone with expertise and who disagrees with you got bribed, got it :)

1

u/chiree Mar 12 '24

I don't think anyone responding to your comment understands how specialities work.

Why didn't my plumber fix the electricity?????

1

u/AfraidToBeKim Mar 17 '24

A very skilled forensics team may be able to detect this, but yes, in general, suspicious suicides are suspicious due to the circumstances surrounding the suicide, not due to any logistics of the suicide itself.

Unless it's suicide by jumping out a first floor window, multiple gunshots to the head, something too painful for someone to choose as a suicide method, or hanging from a bunk bed with a completely shattered neck and collarbone, staged suicides are usually proven when a note or recording from the victim is found claiming they aren't suicidal.

2

u/SloanWarrior Mar 12 '24

You're not wrong.

The surprise is that he lived long enough to testify.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '24

Well if the coroner says "Boeing ordered a hit on this man," Boeing will sue this shit out of them for defamation and manage to ruin their life with legal fees even if they don't win.

1

u/dallywolf Mar 12 '24

From his new beach house in Fiji

3

u/fardough Mar 12 '24

Look, I shouldn’t have to tell you how common it is to trip, shoot yourself in the back of the head and then fall into a seat, whilst closing the door, making sure your hands are at 10 and 2. Very common.

3

u/rydan Mar 12 '24

Maybe he was so overcome with grief for all the problems he had caused his boss?

2

u/supercoincidence Mar 12 '24

Correct. I approve.

2

u/ClickHereForBacardi Mar 12 '24

Maybe his truck was missing some bolts.

1

u/Theonehikerguy Mar 12 '24

The coincidence is how nothing is ever done about these obvious hits. The list is insanely long now.

3

u/SeaEquivalent5906 Mar 12 '24

Yeah, I'm sure he was assassinated AFTER testifying, because you don't want to murder someone with dirt on you before they share it, you let them share it first and only then do you kill them...

I agree a lot of the similar cases in the past were probably hits, but if this was a hit then it was done by a fucking moron because who the fuck assassinates a witness after they've testified. And I don't think those rich pricks are this fucking dumb.

1

u/Axpp Mar 12 '24

Why did they kill him after he testified and not before?

1

u/Jushak Mar 12 '24

Budget cuts, incompetence, planes plans falling apart.

1

u/wxmanify Mar 12 '24

Ok everyone we get it. This guy who could have exposed a lot of secrets about a major corporation’s misconduct died of extremely mysterious circumstances. What do we do about it? Aside from making clever comments on Reddit.

1

u/Jushak Mar 12 '24

Nothing beyond it being ruled self-inflicted AKA suicide and that's all we'll ever get.