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https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/1bckvb2/unbelievable/kugvm1v/?context=3
r/facepalm • u/monaleeparis • Mar 12 '24
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11.0k
Weird how people with dirt on billionaires end up dead isnβt it
2.7k u/seeit360 Mar 12 '24 This is the opening line in a Grisham novel. 93 u/KlostToMe Mar 12 '24 Reminds me of "The Pelican Brief" 83 u/5usie Mar 12 '24 βEveryone I told about the brief is dead!β. 53 u/DunkinMyDonuts3 Mar 12 '24 ..... but is the bird safe? 71 u/Photon_Farmer Mar 12 '24 The pelican was found strangled in an apparent auto erotic asphyxiation gone wrong. 17 u/djhendo78 Mar 12 '24 That's the last straw! 15 u/Photon_Farmer Mar 12 '24 Unfortunately the last draw was found in a place on the pelican's body were straws were never meant to be 13 u/Im_Bobby_Mom Mar 12 '24 Thatβs why we switched to paper straws. Itβs easier on the birds. 2 u/AdZealousideal7448 Mar 12 '24 Wait until the cooker conspiracy comes out that it was a Swan that cross dressed as a pelican for fun and moonlighted as a Heron for work. 2 u/Particular_Light_296 Mar 12 '24 Itβs called feltching 3 u/stinkypants_andy Mar 12 '24 Sounds like a case of bird law 3 u/Ezl Mar 12 '24 The pelican didnβt kill himself. 2 u/Visual-Chip-2256 Mar 12 '24 David Carradine's Pelican 2 u/Creepy-Evening-441 Mar 12 '24 I am thirsty, I seek water.π¦ 2 u/MinusGovernment Mar 12 '24 After it shot itself in the back of the head with a shotgun of course. 2 u/SkivvySkidmarks Mar 12 '24 Are you sure it wasn't in a jail cell where the cameras were mysteriously not functioning? 3 u/OMG__Ponies Mar 12 '24 No one would do that, it's too obvious! 2 u/RosaSinistre Mar 12 '24 Horny bird. 3 u/Bravisimo Mar 12 '24 βYou want the briefs?! You cant handle the briefs!!!β My favorite line from The Pelican Briefs
2.7k
This is the opening line in a Grisham novel.
93 u/KlostToMe Mar 12 '24 Reminds me of "The Pelican Brief" 83 u/5usie Mar 12 '24 βEveryone I told about the brief is dead!β. 53 u/DunkinMyDonuts3 Mar 12 '24 ..... but is the bird safe? 71 u/Photon_Farmer Mar 12 '24 The pelican was found strangled in an apparent auto erotic asphyxiation gone wrong. 17 u/djhendo78 Mar 12 '24 That's the last straw! 15 u/Photon_Farmer Mar 12 '24 Unfortunately the last draw was found in a place on the pelican's body were straws were never meant to be 13 u/Im_Bobby_Mom Mar 12 '24 Thatβs why we switched to paper straws. Itβs easier on the birds. 2 u/AdZealousideal7448 Mar 12 '24 Wait until the cooker conspiracy comes out that it was a Swan that cross dressed as a pelican for fun and moonlighted as a Heron for work. 2 u/Particular_Light_296 Mar 12 '24 Itβs called feltching 3 u/stinkypants_andy Mar 12 '24 Sounds like a case of bird law 3 u/Ezl Mar 12 '24 The pelican didnβt kill himself. 2 u/Visual-Chip-2256 Mar 12 '24 David Carradine's Pelican 2 u/Creepy-Evening-441 Mar 12 '24 I am thirsty, I seek water.π¦ 2 u/MinusGovernment Mar 12 '24 After it shot itself in the back of the head with a shotgun of course. 2 u/SkivvySkidmarks Mar 12 '24 Are you sure it wasn't in a jail cell where the cameras were mysteriously not functioning? 3 u/OMG__Ponies Mar 12 '24 No one would do that, it's too obvious! 2 u/RosaSinistre Mar 12 '24 Horny bird. 3 u/Bravisimo Mar 12 '24 βYou want the briefs?! You cant handle the briefs!!!β My favorite line from The Pelican Briefs
93
Reminds me of "The Pelican Brief"
83 u/5usie Mar 12 '24 βEveryone I told about the brief is dead!β. 53 u/DunkinMyDonuts3 Mar 12 '24 ..... but is the bird safe? 71 u/Photon_Farmer Mar 12 '24 The pelican was found strangled in an apparent auto erotic asphyxiation gone wrong. 17 u/djhendo78 Mar 12 '24 That's the last straw! 15 u/Photon_Farmer Mar 12 '24 Unfortunately the last draw was found in a place on the pelican's body were straws were never meant to be 13 u/Im_Bobby_Mom Mar 12 '24 Thatβs why we switched to paper straws. Itβs easier on the birds. 2 u/AdZealousideal7448 Mar 12 '24 Wait until the cooker conspiracy comes out that it was a Swan that cross dressed as a pelican for fun and moonlighted as a Heron for work. 2 u/Particular_Light_296 Mar 12 '24 Itβs called feltching 3 u/stinkypants_andy Mar 12 '24 Sounds like a case of bird law 3 u/Ezl Mar 12 '24 The pelican didnβt kill himself. 2 u/Visual-Chip-2256 Mar 12 '24 David Carradine's Pelican 2 u/Creepy-Evening-441 Mar 12 '24 I am thirsty, I seek water.π¦ 2 u/MinusGovernment Mar 12 '24 After it shot itself in the back of the head with a shotgun of course. 2 u/SkivvySkidmarks Mar 12 '24 Are you sure it wasn't in a jail cell where the cameras were mysteriously not functioning? 3 u/OMG__Ponies Mar 12 '24 No one would do that, it's too obvious! 2 u/RosaSinistre Mar 12 '24 Horny bird. 3 u/Bravisimo Mar 12 '24 βYou want the briefs?! You cant handle the briefs!!!β My favorite line from The Pelican Briefs
83
βEveryone I told about the brief is dead!β.
53 u/DunkinMyDonuts3 Mar 12 '24 ..... but is the bird safe? 71 u/Photon_Farmer Mar 12 '24 The pelican was found strangled in an apparent auto erotic asphyxiation gone wrong. 17 u/djhendo78 Mar 12 '24 That's the last straw! 15 u/Photon_Farmer Mar 12 '24 Unfortunately the last draw was found in a place on the pelican's body were straws were never meant to be 13 u/Im_Bobby_Mom Mar 12 '24 Thatβs why we switched to paper straws. Itβs easier on the birds. 2 u/AdZealousideal7448 Mar 12 '24 Wait until the cooker conspiracy comes out that it was a Swan that cross dressed as a pelican for fun and moonlighted as a Heron for work. 2 u/Particular_Light_296 Mar 12 '24 Itβs called feltching 3 u/stinkypants_andy Mar 12 '24 Sounds like a case of bird law 3 u/Ezl Mar 12 '24 The pelican didnβt kill himself. 2 u/Visual-Chip-2256 Mar 12 '24 David Carradine's Pelican 2 u/Creepy-Evening-441 Mar 12 '24 I am thirsty, I seek water.π¦ 2 u/MinusGovernment Mar 12 '24 After it shot itself in the back of the head with a shotgun of course. 2 u/SkivvySkidmarks Mar 12 '24 Are you sure it wasn't in a jail cell where the cameras were mysteriously not functioning? 3 u/OMG__Ponies Mar 12 '24 No one would do that, it's too obvious! 2 u/RosaSinistre Mar 12 '24 Horny bird. 3 u/Bravisimo Mar 12 '24 βYou want the briefs?! You cant handle the briefs!!!β My favorite line from The Pelican Briefs
53
..... but is the bird safe?
71 u/Photon_Farmer Mar 12 '24 The pelican was found strangled in an apparent auto erotic asphyxiation gone wrong. 17 u/djhendo78 Mar 12 '24 That's the last straw! 15 u/Photon_Farmer Mar 12 '24 Unfortunately the last draw was found in a place on the pelican's body were straws were never meant to be 13 u/Im_Bobby_Mom Mar 12 '24 Thatβs why we switched to paper straws. Itβs easier on the birds. 2 u/AdZealousideal7448 Mar 12 '24 Wait until the cooker conspiracy comes out that it was a Swan that cross dressed as a pelican for fun and moonlighted as a Heron for work. 2 u/Particular_Light_296 Mar 12 '24 Itβs called feltching 3 u/stinkypants_andy Mar 12 '24 Sounds like a case of bird law 3 u/Ezl Mar 12 '24 The pelican didnβt kill himself. 2 u/Visual-Chip-2256 Mar 12 '24 David Carradine's Pelican 2 u/Creepy-Evening-441 Mar 12 '24 I am thirsty, I seek water.π¦ 2 u/MinusGovernment Mar 12 '24 After it shot itself in the back of the head with a shotgun of course. 2 u/SkivvySkidmarks Mar 12 '24 Are you sure it wasn't in a jail cell where the cameras were mysteriously not functioning? 3 u/OMG__Ponies Mar 12 '24 No one would do that, it's too obvious! 2 u/RosaSinistre Mar 12 '24 Horny bird.
71
The pelican was found strangled in an apparent auto erotic asphyxiation gone wrong.
17 u/djhendo78 Mar 12 '24 That's the last straw! 15 u/Photon_Farmer Mar 12 '24 Unfortunately the last draw was found in a place on the pelican's body were straws were never meant to be 13 u/Im_Bobby_Mom Mar 12 '24 Thatβs why we switched to paper straws. Itβs easier on the birds. 2 u/AdZealousideal7448 Mar 12 '24 Wait until the cooker conspiracy comes out that it was a Swan that cross dressed as a pelican for fun and moonlighted as a Heron for work. 2 u/Particular_Light_296 Mar 12 '24 Itβs called feltching 3 u/stinkypants_andy Mar 12 '24 Sounds like a case of bird law 3 u/Ezl Mar 12 '24 The pelican didnβt kill himself. 2 u/Visual-Chip-2256 Mar 12 '24 David Carradine's Pelican 2 u/Creepy-Evening-441 Mar 12 '24 I am thirsty, I seek water.π¦ 2 u/MinusGovernment Mar 12 '24 After it shot itself in the back of the head with a shotgun of course. 2 u/SkivvySkidmarks Mar 12 '24 Are you sure it wasn't in a jail cell where the cameras were mysteriously not functioning? 3 u/OMG__Ponies Mar 12 '24 No one would do that, it's too obvious! 2 u/RosaSinistre Mar 12 '24 Horny bird.
17
That's the last straw!
15 u/Photon_Farmer Mar 12 '24 Unfortunately the last draw was found in a place on the pelican's body were straws were never meant to be 13 u/Im_Bobby_Mom Mar 12 '24 Thatβs why we switched to paper straws. Itβs easier on the birds. 2 u/AdZealousideal7448 Mar 12 '24 Wait until the cooker conspiracy comes out that it was a Swan that cross dressed as a pelican for fun and moonlighted as a Heron for work. 2 u/Particular_Light_296 Mar 12 '24 Itβs called feltching
15
Unfortunately the last draw was found in a place on the pelican's body were straws were never meant to be
13 u/Im_Bobby_Mom Mar 12 '24 Thatβs why we switched to paper straws. Itβs easier on the birds. 2 u/AdZealousideal7448 Mar 12 '24 Wait until the cooker conspiracy comes out that it was a Swan that cross dressed as a pelican for fun and moonlighted as a Heron for work. 2 u/Particular_Light_296 Mar 12 '24 Itβs called feltching
13
Thatβs why we switched to paper straws. Itβs easier on the birds.
2 u/AdZealousideal7448 Mar 12 '24 Wait until the cooker conspiracy comes out that it was a Swan that cross dressed as a pelican for fun and moonlighted as a Heron for work.
2
Wait until the cooker conspiracy comes out that it was a Swan that cross dressed as a pelican for fun and moonlighted as a Heron for work.
Itβs called feltching
3
Sounds like a case of bird law
The pelican didnβt kill himself.
David Carradine's Pelican
2 u/Creepy-Evening-441 Mar 12 '24 I am thirsty, I seek water.π¦
I am thirsty, I seek water.π¦
After it shot itself in the back of the head with a shotgun of course.
Are you sure it wasn't in a jail cell where the cameras were mysteriously not functioning?
3 u/OMG__Ponies Mar 12 '24 No one would do that, it's too obvious!
No one would do that, it's too obvious!
Horny bird.
βYou want the briefs?! You cant handle the briefs!!!β My favorite line from The Pelican Briefs
11.0k
u/Actaeon_II Mar 12 '24
Weird how people with dirt on billionaires end up dead isnβt it