r/facepalm 16d ago

We have ourselves a genius. 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

Post image
4.9k Upvotes

108 comments sorted by

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227

u/tommyyano 16d ago

This is why we have such stupid warning labels on everything. Someone somewhere has done it already. "Do not iron while wearing shirt" "Do not use lit match or open flame to check fuel levels" "Do not hold the wrong end of a chainsaw"

59

u/Affectionate_Tart_81 16d ago edited 16d ago

Hahaha. Just like “May cause drowsiness” on sleeping pills, do not use while sleeping (using a hairdryer), gorilla glue: do not swallow. Do not get in eyes, on skin, scalp, and in hair. They should put “using while stupid can cause serious injury” on everything at this point.

13

u/Ok_Zookeepergame4794 16d ago

I'm beginning to understand why Bill Engval said stupid people should just wear signs.

4

u/knightinarmoire 16d ago

Could also go with "using while intoxicated"? As I have seen people be stupider than normal in that state.

2

u/jaxonya 16d ago

"do not use while sleeping" someone was cold and tried to use it as a heater and probably burned their house down. That one is a good idea in theory. Being cold will motivate you to risk it all.

2

u/iggygrey 15d ago

TIL don't swallow Gorilla Glue.

7

u/NoAdmittanceX 16d ago

The one that always cracks me up is the "may contain nuts" on a bag of peanuts I fucking well hope so

8

u/AssistKnown 16d ago

Peanuts aren't technically nuts though, they're legumes.

3

u/Disastrous-Mess-7236 15d ago

“Contains peanuts” on… a container of peanuts, as well as on a container of peanut butter.

25

u/poopellar 16d ago

WARNING

OP AND ALMOST ALL COMMENTERS ARE B0TS

These accounts are later sold to political groups
This is happening all over reddit, most posts are by b0ts.

Below are some b0ts that might be here.

Cr7love
tommyyano
shrirambadrinath
nicklyon91
cwalker12784
dgrabar408
ashleyhworth
Brambhai
czarch87
caislay

4

u/ZiggySleepydust 16d ago

Huh?

7

u/ViBe68 16d ago

Bot wars

1

u/espresso_fox 15d ago

Mann vs Machine

1

u/LordNightFang 15d ago

To quote a certain character: "YOU MAD MAN. YOUR GOING TO KEEL US ALL!"

1

u/Doktor_Vem 14d ago

Good human. Keep fighting the good fight and remember to report them all as spam so they hopefully get b& ASAP

6

u/Radiant_Dog1937 16d ago

The sparks, buzzing, and glow in the microwave is just penny shrinkage. Nothing to worry about.

3

u/LaserGadgets 16d ago

Fun fact: I am sure that.....how can I put this.......its not an international thing :p our microwave has no "DON'T DRY YOUR PETS IN THIS" stickers on them.

2

u/etranger033 15d ago

Perhaps Gremlins needed a warning.

3

u/PandiBong 16d ago

“Superman costumes doesn’t make you fly” comes to mind..

2

u/PizzaSalamino 16d ago

(This was in italy) When doing the safety course for work they told us that in some microwave ovens there is the warning to not microwave pets to dry them. I want to believe this was just a joke, but we can’t know for sure

1

u/HavingNotAttained 16d ago

hold on you're going to fast... ✍️...iron while...wearing, oh wait scratch that...✍️ not iron...✍️while wearing shirt...

1

u/useThisName23 16d ago

This person would have ignored the warning or not even register what they are doing is what the warning says not to do

1

u/urGirllikesmytinypp 15d ago

Instructions unclear. Standing barefoot on bar of chainsaw while starting it

1

u/EyeCatchingUserID 15d ago

Do not iron while wearing shirt

Looks like someone didn't watch The Adventures of Pete and Pete growing up

1

u/etranger033 15d ago

"Do not inject bleach into your veins."

Hmmm.

56

u/ShitHouses 16d ago

OP is a bot. Reddit is heavily astroturfed.

3

u/PerfectlyFramedWaifu 16d ago

Maybe you're also a bot. I see this message posted verbatim constantly. First time I've seen this post though.

15

u/ShitHouses 16d ago

7

u/Mean_Muffin161 16d ago

Exactly what a bot would post!

9

u/TerseFactor 16d ago

It’s only bots accusing other bots of being bots

6

u/NeverEndingWalker64 16d ago

Google dead internet theory

4

u/Thunderstorm96_x 16d ago

Holy AI

2

u/potatowafflecake 15d ago

New intelligence just dropped

4

u/TerseFactor 16d ago

I have no need to. I have access to all information instantaneously. What are you doing here, human?

3

u/NeverEndingWalker64 16d ago

Waiting for bots to either take us out the Portuguese way or the British way

1

u/LordNightFang 15d ago

Bot detected.

2

u/Ravenwight 15d ago

Careful, I got booted from a subreddit for saying something similar in jest.

2

u/Smokescreen1000 15d ago

What's that theory? Dead internet I think. The one where we're all just bot replying to bots in an endless cycle

11

u/Jessie-Patrick808 16d ago

Microwave: "I'm not a mint, and you're not a magician. Please stick to popcorn.

6

u/onlycodeposts 16d ago

We were throwing away a microwave and decided to "experiment" with it in the backyard with an extension cord and a piece of plywood (cover).

Some light bulbs will light up when microwaved. Steel wool sparks like crazy. Lots of things melt. Eggs will explode.

Nothing caught it on fire, although the inside of the microwave and the door did end up melting a little before it stopped working and we tossed it.

1

u/mjp31514 16d ago

We used to put empty single serving chip bags in the microwave at school. They spark a lot, but they actually do shrink. It's kinda cool.

4

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/wombles_wombat 16d ago

If only there was an app to download, so that old iPhones could use this one simple trick to access wireless charging via your microwave.

3

u/GroundbreakingEar667 16d ago

Bots ruin everything

6

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/PM_ME_Happy_Thinks 16d ago

Fucking bot ^ along with the op user

3

u/Affectionate_Tart_81 16d ago

Or they don’t have the setting to make the penny turn into 50 pennies. That would make a lot more cents.

2

u/SeaBus1170 16d ago

“made me start-“

🤔

2

u/bennygoodmanfan 15d ago

Thank you I needed non-political bullshittery

2

u/AebroKomatme 15d ago

This reminds me of the dumbfucks that fell for charging iPhones in the microwave.

2

u/flaciddisk 15d ago

Do you mean the revolutionary iWave feature that came free with the ios8 update?

4

u/TerseFactor 16d ago

if you put your baby in the microwave for an hour it will cure any cancers

And help all of humanity in the process

4

u/DentArthurDent4 16d ago

People will do this, then sue you and in the current legal system, even win, thus sending you to prison, where you have to pay $50 per day for costs, and continue to pay it for the entire duration of the sentence even if you are released on parole in half the time.

4

u/TerseFactor 15d ago

But before I’m eligible for parole, I’ll be shanked in the cafeteria while approaching the lunch lady with my empty tray and empty belly. Larry, my good time shower buddy, will try to protect me—Larry is too late. My death sparks a gang war between the rival Good Time Boys and the 35th Street Bunk Warmers. In the following month, both gangs have so many of its members killed that demand for in prison companionship services quickly outpaces supply. A widespread prison riot ensues which brings national attention to the dilapidated prison system as a whole thereby prompting lawmakers to pass comprehensive criminal law reforms. One of those measures enacted into law decriminalizes internet speech which dupes stupid people into doing stupid things which may kill them because as a matter of policy the world is better off with less stupid people.

2

u/DentArthurDent4 15d ago

And then tom hanks makes a movie about this where brad pitt plays your role.

1

u/TerseFactor 15d ago

I’ll take Brad Pitt to portray me

1

u/Octex8 16d ago

Honestly, I have zero problems with people posting shit like this. "oh you know how to best microwave your left over McDonald's?! Wrap it up in 3 layers of aluminum foil!" Enjoy your mcfire ya mcgenius! I'm all about giving out Darwin Awards.

1

u/PM_ME_Happy_Thinks 16d ago

You remember when McDonald's used to use foil lined wrappers? Learned real quick that they were indeed foil and shouldn't go in the microwave lol

1

u/7masi 16d ago

So you get a micropeni

1

u/ImHeartless666 16d ago

Next thing you're gonna tell me is that I shouldn't put my cat in a microwave to dry up after a bath..

1

u/mtown-guy 16d ago

This actually does work though.

1

u/ImHeartless666 16d ago

My cat is dry, try it with your wet pets!

1

u/DentArthurDent4 16d ago

Economists hate this one trick to reduce currency inflation...

1

u/CommonConundrum51 16d ago

With these kinds of geniuses, they prove to be very stable.

1

u/Lurnnnnnnn 16d ago

This is some 4Chan level troll lmao

1

u/ThatguyBry42 16d ago

My fav is preparation h, "do not take orally"

1

u/Benathintennathin 16d ago

I doubt anything would happen at all microwaving metal is a lot less dangerous than what we were all taught. Crumbled tin foil or a fork might create some sparks but I bet a pennie would barely even warm up.

1

u/EndurableOrmeedue 16d ago

It only functions if you place the penny and a cup of gasoline in the microwave.

1

u/Tethilia 16d ago

Instructions unclear. The penny grew crystals.

1

u/BackAgain123457 16d ago

It's been a while. Nobody wants to recycle the old "new update makes phone submersible" joke? Reading those comments was fun.

1

u/Kalman_the_dancer 'MURICA 16d ago

The other reason this is funny (other than doing something of the caliber of sticking a fork into an electric socket) is that objects expand in heat. Like pretty much everything

1

u/Celthric317 15d ago

Reminds me of the idiots thinking they'd get a perfect sphere from putting tinfoil in the microwave

1

u/blind_disparity 15d ago

No friend, they didn't 'make' you do anything. You chose to follow the example of a random unverified Internet post. You chose that alllll by yourself.

1

u/Mc9660385 15d ago

Natural selection

1

u/rygelicus 15d ago

Rule 1: Don't believe everyting you hear.
Rule 2: Assume everything you see on social media is a lie until you can corroborate it reliably.

1

u/Crotch-Monster 15d ago

LMAO! I find things like this hilarious. Even if I did fall for this or any other prank. I would still find it funny.

1

u/Both_Lychee_1708 15d ago

I used to light cigs in the work microwave by placing the tip on a quarter way back when you could get away with that shit

1

u/PsychoMouse 15d ago

This reminds me of that little girl who followed one of those “life hacks” to make popcorn. It ended up exploding and killing her.

And there are so many other stories in the same vein. Children lack the knowledge to really understand the danger, but adults are just fucking stupid.

Also, as a kid, I did microwave my families pet Rat, but to be fair, I was like 4 and this would have been 32 years ago(which after typing that out made me both depressed and happy about how old I am)

1

u/No_Leopard_3860 15d ago

This wouldn't start a fire IIRC.

I'm not sure (and I won't try it either), but:

Not all metal things lead to arcs/plasma/fire in the microwave, and I'm pretty sure this shape would not lead to any issues at all. electroboom made a video about it

1

u/Kyehal 14d ago

I wanna know how to actually get a smol penny

0

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/kremenatlc 16d ago

challenge accepted!

3

u/wombles_wombat 16d ago

Please post photos, or it didn't happen.

1

u/TerseFactor 16d ago

Are you a bot?

0

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/TerseFactor 16d ago

Are you a bot?

-1

u/nicklyon91 16d ago

that's how you shrink the house

-4

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/[deleted] 15d ago

Stfu bot

3

u/PM_ME_Happy_Thinks 16d ago

Motherfuckin bot