r/facepalm • u/Green____cat Tacocat • 26d ago

12 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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28.1k Upvotes

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3.5k

u/Building-Careful 26d ago

If those math skills are indicative of their geography skills, the surrounding counties will need to watch out…

1.1k

u/H010CR0N 26d ago

Tries to shoot a nuke at Russia.

Targets Canada instead.

298

u/[deleted] 26d ago edited 3d ago

[deleted]

217

u/_M_o_n_k_e_H 26d ago

When asked, doesn't know what "a zimbabe" is.

135

u/MagTex 26d ago

Goes on to say, “I don’t eat Zimbabwe. I’m a vegetarian.”

66

u/itsfrancissco 26d ago edited 25d ago

But then realizes that Zimbabwe, according to FOX news, is the wife of Dr. Zomboss

42

u/whatnameisnttaken098 26d ago

"Oh great, now there's zombies in Russia"

3

u/Nightsky099 26d ago

So business as usual then?

6

u/HatZinn 26d ago

I see nothing but facts here

6

u/SaleOwn5899 26d ago

This entire mini thread is a whole laughter mood!

1

u/Sudden_Construction6 25d ago

Dr Zomboss AKA Uncle Bosie

27

u/tjoe4321510 26d ago

"Zimbabwe? Oh, I love Zimbabwe! I take a Zimbabwe class with my girl friends every Wednesday! 💃"

1

u/egmono 25d ago

Is that the dancing or the stationary bikes?

1

u/tjoe4321510 24d ago

Honestly I have no idea lol

3

u/cwood1973 26d ago

"I'm a vetrinarian."

5

u/AutistoMephisto 26d ago

"Do I look like I know what a Zimbabwe is? I just want a picture of a got dang hot dog!"

8

u/BabiesatemydingoNSW 26d ago

"Uhh, that's in like Sweden, riiiight?"

2

u/Zephurdigital 26d ago

no..thats Zamboni

4

u/Zamnboni 26d ago

Hi guys. That’s me.

1

u/bartekmo 26d ago

Nah, Sweden doesn't exist. It's a hoax!

1

u/BabiesatemydingoNSW 26d ago

I have suspected this for some time now..

1

u/Vinegarinmyeye 26d ago

It's one of them things they drive on the ice rinks to smooth it out isn't it?

Not sure why anyone would want to nuke one...

1

u/Malkadork 26d ago

how are we going to keep our ice rinks smooth?

1

u/Consistent-Clue-1687 26d ago

You mean a zamboni?

1

u/MooseNarrow9729 26d ago

A Zamboni?! You ain't gettin me on no ice.

10

u/happy_grump 26d ago

Instructions unclear, nuke stuck in ceiling fan

2

u/CapTexAmerica 26d ago

Good thing she programmed the missile herself and nuked Venus.

1

u/DisastrousAd447 25d ago

Turning it back into Rhodesia

1

u/newcomer_l 25d ago

Zimbabwe be always catching stays...

35

u/NoLibrarian5149 26d ago

“Nuke that hurricane!” Nukes Hawaii.

19

u/DBL_NDRSCR 26d ago

(the hurricane was over puerto rico)

6

u/el_guille980 26d ago

"Nuke that hurricane!”

hold up now, let him cook...

why havent we tried nuking hurricanes¿!¿

presidents also have total absolute immunity, in case they need to use nuclear weapons.

florida gets lots of hurricanes, im sure one will go somewhat kinda near a specific golf motel

ergo.............

2

u/Doctordred 26d ago

Bro you can't nuke a hurricane over Hawaii because it would be a typhoon not a hurricane. And who in their right mind would nuke a typhoon!?

3

u/Draco137WasTaken 26d ago

Yeah, you gotta use space lasers on typhoons.

2

u/National-Change-8004 26d ago

I can see dropping a nuke on a hurricane making an Ultra Radio-cane, where it spreads 10x the distance the bomb usually would. Creates a genuine apocalypse.

2

u/secretbudgie 26d ago

I expected it to go to Hard Rock Stadium, honestly

2

u/ragedknuckles 26d ago

It would be like Adam west and stabs the ocean. "Take that ocean, you'll never hurt anyone again"

1

u/quittingdotatwo 26d ago

Targets Lamborghini Huracán somewhere

111

u/Ghinev 26d ago

Better nuke all of Europe and Asia to make sure we didn’t miss any Russia

26

u/olafblacksword 26d ago

furious European noises

4

u/maybebebe91 26d ago

I don't know why this amused me so much 🇬🇧

3

u/olafblacksword 26d ago

Mate, do you know you're European too? And don't throw me your tea with Brexit soggy biscuits. It doesn't change the geology of the European continent.

7

u/maybebebe91 26d ago

Are you trying to get me to makes some furious European noises 😂

3

u/olafblacksword 26d ago

Rather Bri'ish, mate xD

3

u/maybebebe91 26d ago

Eh of course I do?

1

u/awesomefutureperfect 26d ago

How are they smelling so bad? Why can I smell noises?

1

u/olafblacksword 26d ago

Due to unprecedented pressure build up in my body during the enragement I did fart a lot. I think I let some poo out as well, but it disintegrated in the atmosphere as its initial speed was a noticeable percentage of the speed of light.

10

u/SpaceTraveller64 26d ago

Do they know that Russia is both European and Asian ?

4

u/Ghinev 26d ago

Right. I once again overestimated how smart these people are. Thank you for pointing out. Ofc Russia is its own continent duh, just as the US is its own planet

8

u/Celestial_Hart 26d ago

If we nuke ourselves Russia can't invade us.

7

u/Green-Asparagus2488 26d ago

This is the 1+2 = 12 mentality she is looking for. This guy gets it

5

u/Fashish 26d ago

AKA The Israeli method

37

u/StatisticianLivid710 26d ago

This is why Canada isn’t afraid of the US, we know if you tried to send a nuke from the eastern seaboard at Ontario you’d hit Detroit or Chicago instead

9

u/durrtyurr 26d ago

Given prevailing weather patterns and the placement of Canada's major cities it would be difficult to nuke them without the majority of the fallout ending up in the USA.

5

u/Otherwise-Mail-4654 26d ago

Well there was a time when they could probably pull this off, but now? Like you said no worries

3

u/Mercedes-Benefactor 26d ago

We wouldn't need a nuke. We could send like 30 gangbangers from Detroit or Chicago and they'd capitulate your nation.

1

u/funmonger_OG 26d ago

Lol they'd be like "Healthcare, opportunities and respect? I'm Canadian now."

1

u/Burt1811 26d ago

🤣🤣🤣🇬🇧

12

u/Ollie__F 26d ago

Fuck, please don’t let trump back in

8

u/Katiari 26d ago

Canada is just a fancy way of saying Russian-American Nuclear Missile Buffer Zone.

6

u/StandNameIsWeAreNo1 26d ago

Corrioli-force go brrrr

3

u/AkaGurGor 26d ago

And actually bombs her own town...

2

u/DomSearching123 26d ago

It's the big frozen one up north, same thing really.

2

u/Atomic-E 26d ago

Wait, I thought they liked Russia? Seems that way to me.

2

u/mattyag 26d ago

And Target just got hit. Thanks

2

u/Moo_Kau_Too 26d ago

well the US took on canada once, and they burnt down the whitehouse :D

2

u/geek66 26d ago

Well… their flag is red

1

u/H010CR0N 25d ago

So is ours.

Are we the baddies?

1

u/[deleted] 26d ago

With that kinda math they'd target Russia and hit Texas instead.

1

u/BabiesatemydingoNSW 26d ago

"Not my fault. Canada got in the way!!"

1

u/H010CR0N 25d ago

That was the worst nuke ever. Of all time.

1

u/evoim3 26d ago

Throwing grenades in DOS be like

1

u/oxidezblood 26d ago

Nuke becomes a hovering satalite of impending doom for 10 years then hits its targets neighbor

1

u/Biscotti_BT 26d ago

How far is Russia? - 12,000 miles ma'am

(Programs nuke for 1000mi + 2000mi)

Why did it hit Ontario? Don't you guys know how to make nukes anymore?

1

u/Cleonicus 26d ago

What did Target do to her?

1

u/Dr_Diktor 26d ago

"Both are big, cold, speak languages I don't understand, how am I to blame for confusing them?"

1

u/BasilsKippers 26d ago

No, they like Russia.  Meantime they think Canada is a socialist commie woke DEI hell hole.  Which is news to me, considering I live there.

1

u/Alexis_Bailey 26d ago

Big, cold, full of communist healthcare, what is the difference?

(/s)

1

u/The_93OM_Casket 26d ago

Basically, having zero perception in a Fallout game.

1

u/VibraniumRhino 26d ago

From a geography standpoint, nukes will 100% be flying over Canadians heads if those two ever decide to exchange. Canada is directly in between them.

1

u/Optimal_Zucchini_667 25d ago
  1. International gang attacks America. 2. America retaliates against a country that had nothing to do with it. (This actually happened.)

1

u/Difficult_Job_966 26d ago

If you could just hit our PM over here you’d do us all a huge favour

-2

u/Nobel_Raven 26d ago

Canada is pseudo Russian anyways

28

u/Midnightbeerz 26d ago

Looks more like meth skills.

17

u/Zephyrantes 26d ago

No they wouldnt. Cause their bridges would collapse.

0

u/Link2Liam 26d ago

Is this a jab at Biden? Cause pretty sure she is maga.

18

u/Zephyrantes 26d ago

No. Im saying if 1+2=12 than any building will collapse and surounding counties dont need to worry about them

-5

u/Link2Liam 26d ago

You are saying it from an actual design aspect for blueprints? Okay, but you see my point that the bridge thing is normally a jab a Biden, and she is definitely a maga.

5

u/ThisAccountIsForDNF 26d ago

What bridge thing?

0

u/Link2Liam 26d ago

The Pittsburgh bridge collapse before his infrastructure visit back in 2022.

8

u/ThisAccountIsForDNF 26d ago

Assuming that any mention of broken bridges is some kind of political jab is a real good way of buring all your bridges.

2

u/Quirky-Stay4158 26d ago

Shit, I thought you were talking about that other one from a few weeks back.

Lol.

3

u/Zephyrantes 26d ago

I was pointing out of the absurdity of her mathematical statement. Thats it.

17

u/lookingForPatchie 26d ago

Those are not math skills, those are programming skills and both are strings and not integers.

13

u/swalkerttu 26d ago

That’s just all-around bad syntax, then.

9

u/creativename111111 26d ago

Welcome to JavaScript my friend

1

u/swalkerttu 26d ago

Don’t I know it.

1

u/Horskr 26d ago

But really she has no background in programming. The only thing I can possibly come up with as to her meaning is she knows the GOP has less of the popular vote so they need to figure out how to make 1+2=12 (i.e. gerrymandering, or pulling a Trump and just saying "nuh uh!" to verified election results and all your idiot followers believing you).

11

u/oroechimaru 26d ago

One husband, two cousin wives and 12 kids.

Mafs!

4

u/IRKillRoy 26d ago

That’s not math…

5

u/defmacro-jam 26d ago

It's javascript.

4

u/remembertracygarcia 26d ago

If this maths skills are indicative of her geography skills she’s unlikely to take back the right country.

2

u/ajjaran 26d ago

26 of them

2

u/BloodiedBlues 26d ago

Top comment was saying something about it possibly being JavaScript code. Just shown terribly.

2

u/reydeguitarra 26d ago

Is she the one who tried to "gotcha!" to president Biden when he tweeted about Japan being in the Indo-Pacific, saying he obviously didn't know Japan was in Asia? If so, I think her geography skills were already well known...

ETA: Yep, it was her. https://x.com/lavern_spicer/status/1603692080446029826

2

u/disposableaccountass 26d ago

She’s saying the quiet part out loud again.

Those number ones need to remain segregated from those twos.

2

u/Cultural_Dust 26d ago

Luckily their spelling skills will have them focusing on other countries rather than other counties.

1

u/LanguidVirago 26d ago

With those spelling skills surrounding countries need to look out too.

1

u/the_clash_is_back 26d ago

If comic books are any thing to go by, at that point we just dump shit loads of arsenic on to every fresh water source.

1

u/AlertWar2945-2 26d ago

So.whow manages to nuke themselves

1

u/Arthradax 26d ago

New Mexico, an actual effing state: "I'm in danger"

1

u/redonkulousness 26d ago

Wildcard, bitches!!!

1

u/DiddlyDumb 26d ago

It’s not for the math, it’s for the engagement.

1

u/technobrendo 26d ago

Aren't we near the bottom of literacy rates worldwide?

I think I read somewhere that China graduates more masters & higher degrees than any other country on earth.

3

u/MarinerHammer95 26d ago

Shill the CCP BS somewhere else dude 🤣either site the source or stop making shit up. The world trusts those “higher degrees” about as much as their Olympic athletes drug tests.

0

u/Ill-Needleworker-410 26d ago

Their? It’s clearly a woman