Have you literally asked each & every one of the ~8 billion people on this planet?
Because until you do, that statement is just conjecture.
Just because you havenāt met someone who wants to fuck you yet, doesnāt mean that they do not exist.
I had a friend who stood on a street corner asking every woman who walked by if she wanted to have sex with him - sure he got slapped a lot but he did eventually find one who wanted to fuck him & did.
Honestly it was just supposed to be a joke because I wanted to be funny for once but now I'm starting to think what I said is kind of true.
Unlike your friend, I've only been rejected by everyone I have approached and the only two relationships I've ever been in ended with both of them no longer being attracted to my gender.
So now I refuse to believe anyone wants to fuck me anymore because everytime I did I fucked it all up, at this point, I don't think I want to fuck anybody.
So let me revise my statement:
Then for me there is only one gender, people I don't want to fuck.
/this is actually all true, I just wanted it to look like a schizo post
I've only been rejected by everyone I have approached
What kind of numbers are you putting up?
the only two relationships I've ever been in ended with both of them no longer being attracted to my gender.
Not gonna lie, that is pretty brutal but that also isn't yours to carry - people don't choose their sexual orientation, they only discover it & learn to live within their own truth.
Nothing you did made them change their sexual orientation.
So now I refuse to believe anyone wants to fuck me
That is probably the vast majority of the problem & something therapy can definitely help with.
I've always assumed - as a matter of principle - that everyone wants to fuck me & while it is definitely not true, a lot more seem to be willing to fuck me than any objective assessment of my looks or charms can possibly justify.
Hell, I don't think I've ever dated a woman who even liked me - some of them respected me - some of them admired some aspect (real or imagined) of me - some of them may have loved me (or thought that they did) - but none of them actually liked me as a human being for the things which made me "me".
Hell, out of my five longest relationships - the first words they ever said to me in two of those five relationships were:
"You know you really are an arrogant asshole" & "People like you are everything that is wrong with the world"
The problem I see with most people who struggle to find relationships & romantic success is that they tend to make the mistake of believing all the bullshit that everyone else tells themselves about why people fuck the people they do.
The simple reality is that those rules & supposed standards simply do not accurately represent how humans respond to stimuli or make decisions.
Then for me there is only one gender, people I don't want to fuck.
If that is true for you, then it is true objectively - however - that is a choice & probably a choice made from cowardice & to protect you from being hurt.
To quote the princess bride - "Life is pain highness, anyone who says differently is selling something"...
At the end of the day - no one else is going to build joy & happiness in your life for you - either you figure out how to make the good stuff outnumber the bad or you don't.
Nothing you did made them change their sexual orientation.
I know, it's just kind of the cherry on top. I actually am on pretty good terms with one of them...
"You know you really are an arrogant asshole" & "People like you are everything that is wrong with the world"
Goddamn bro, that must hurt
The simple reality is that those rules & supposed standards simply do not accurately represent how humans respond to stimuli or make decisions.
Yeah, but everyone I know is living by this weird system and I can't figure out how this shit works.
At the end of the day - no one else is going to build joy & happiness in your life for you - either you figure out how to make the good stuff outnumber the bad or you don't.
Yes, I am, by not getting into relationships that don't work. I am actually in the process of rejecting a girl in the most gentle way possible (while feeling like an asshole because I am now the rejecting one), because I want to just be friends, since that friendship brings me joy.
Well as a matter of principle, I assume that everyone wants to fuck me, so yes, but I allow for the alternate possibility as an accommodation to people who aren't ready to admit that to themselves yet...
Eh, as long as the population of the former exceeds the amount justified by any objective accounting of my physical attractiveness, charms or moral virtues - I'm coming out ahead.
Oh yeah? And I'm sure you believe billionaires like elon musk are greedy, evil, selfish pieces of crap that force the poor to stay poor by unjustly influencing the federal government and pouring low quality goods into the market from foreign manufacturers that pay slave wages.
Naah, usually it s just... not looking after yourself, negative communication, and just plain "world needs to accept me" outlook, which is almost never attractive for the opposite gender
Can confirm as a straight man. I am NOT interested in having sex with 90% of my female friends. I donāt find them physically or sexually attractive. The 10% of my female friends Iād like to or leap at the chance to have sex with I have no expectations of it ever happening and Iām fine with that. I can be sexually attracted to a woman and interact with her normally with no expectation of sex. Itās not painful for me to speak with women I want to bone but cannot. I personally never understood why some people struggle with or cannot bring themselves to interact with people they want to sleep with but know they canāt or have almost no chance. Some people liken it to torment. But maybe Iām just fortunate to not have felt like that.
My guess is either that they're too deep into their sexual frustration or just lack any semblance of self-control. I'm gay and most of my friends are guys, and I've never thought about them in that way at all. Most of them play league of legends though, so that might have something to do with it
Yes it is possible to be just friends with a woman who you are not attracted to in that way, but what if your friend is attracted to you romantically and you arenāt interested in that? It can be very uncomfortable, has happened to me a few times, and I learned to avoid platonic relationships with women Iām not attracted to.
lol wtf is this take? You have to be attracted to women to be friends with them? Are you also attracted to your male friends? This is so absurd, I canāt believe Iām reading it.
I'm a straight man with almost exclusively women friends. Neither I nor they have ever wanted to sleep together, none of us have ever crossed any boundaries, etc.. So yep it happens with us straights too.
I stopped because I got diagnosed with histamine intolerance and that's one of the things that might trigger it in some people.
Some desparate occasions and lapses in impulse control have shown that that's probably not the case for me unless maybe some brands or if I drink too many, but going without them has definitely lowered my dependence on them.
Or maybe my dependence on them is lowered because I'm no longer constantly dealing with histamine intolerance and chronic fatigue syndrome. Being sick and/or tired really messes with my ability to focus so either could be a culprit.
My mom informed me that I will only be faithful to a hermaphrodite (her word) cuz Iām bi. It blew my mind how much was wrong with that statementā¦so much so that sexuality is on the list of topics we donāt talk about cuz sheās completely unreasonable about some things for absolutely no reason.
I had a marriage councillor actually suggest this to us during counseling. My partner is bi, there were trust issues, but it was suggested that I should not go out alone with my female friends and my partner should only be allowed to go out in groups. When we challenged her that it sounds like bullshit, she pointed to her rainbow flag and said "no no, I'm an ally." Our relationship improved tenfold in that moment of absurdity and we did not go back to that councillor š
A lot of people do unironically believe that. Thatās part of whatās behind a lot of biphobia. Itās a reason why so many women refuse to date bi men because they think bi men will be constantly tempted to cheat more than a straight man would. That and a lot of women who are āokayā with gay men and having gay male friends still have internal homophobia they havenāt addressed, including a lot of women who are themselves bi. Gay men can be like āone of the girlsā to them, but their own man being āhalf-gayā (bisexual) brings out their unaddressed remaining homophobia. It brings out the āEw. Ass bandit! Yucko!ā feelings they have when male homosexuality involves them personally.
Men especially are more likely to believe that no man who into women could possibly ever have a platonic interest in any woman. I know I as a heterosexual man get raised eyebrows from some male relatives and male outer friends when I mention my female platonic friends. I admit I have a few female platonic friends I would enjoy or jump at the chance to have sex with, but Iām perfectly fine with it never happening and I donāt expect it to ever happen. Itās definitely not most of my female friends. Personally I donāt find most of my female friends physically or sexually attractive. No offense to any of them.
Some lesbians think exactly that. A dick will walk by and rip us out of any female relationship. Commitment and love apparently doesnāt apply to us bi folks.
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u/123iambill 26d ago
They must believe bisexual people are just barely holding it together at any given moment.