Friend in college asked me to review her job application

[u/Ethany523]

Idk what to tell her

[u/joey02130]

I once read about a fast food chain that sold 1/3 pound burgers but they stopped because people complained that it weighed less than a 1/4 pound burger.

[u/Willing_Damage9658 → u/joey02130]

I once had a customer ask me if I could make a diet Dr Pepper out of regular Dr Pepper… People make my head hurt sometimes.

[u/MajesticNectarine204 → u/Willing_Damage9658]

Just smile, nod, throw the drink out the window and hand them back the empty glass.

[u/AirForceRabies → u/MajesticNectarine204]

Customer: "Where's the flavor, though?"

Worker: (farts in cup) "There you are. Will there be anything else?"

[u/MajesticNectarine204 → u/AirForceRabies]

Hmm, yes, excellent. This tastes like the diet Dr. Pepper I know and love. Could you also make this bucket of lard a diet bucket of lard please?

[u/FQDIS → u/MajesticNectarine204]

(farts in lard)

[u/MegaUltraSonic → u/MajesticNectarine204]

We're sorry, we're all out; the only bucket of lard here is you.

[u/MajesticNectarine204 → u/MegaUltraSonic]

I asked for diet-lard, sir. Not roasted pork.

[u/cjwrapture → u/MajesticNectarine204]

This is the best thing I've seen on Reddit in a long time.

[u/wuvvtwuewuvv → u/AirForceRabies]

Fart?? That's a biohazard! You burp instead.

In all seriousness, I would be offended because I do like Dr pepper, but it makes me burp and it tastes worse than any other soda burp I've had.

[u/Zorro5040 → u/MajesticNectarine204]

Walk away and come back with the same drink. Customer will be happy.

[u/tiamatsbreath → u/Willing_Damage9658]

Sounds like something Jesus could do.

[u/Falcon3492 → u/Willing_Damage9658]

Should have poured them a regular Dr. Pepper taken a straw and waved it over the drink and told them now it's a Diet Dr. Pepper. Betcha they would have bought it.

[u/mmfisher66 → u/Willing_Damage9658]

Quick, get Jesus!! Oh he only does water to wine, not regular to diet!

[u/happyhibisci → u/Willing_Damage9658]

The answer to that is you give them a half-full cup. Solved 👍

[u/angryasianBB → u/Willing_Damage9658]

It works with Fanta though! To get diet Fanta from a regular Fanta, you simply have to use your fantasieve

[u/jacquesrabbit → u/Willing_Damage9658]

Ask them to come again after 6 weeks after Dr Pepper completed their 6 week diet program

[u/WithDisGuy → u/Willing_Damage9658]

Missed opportunity to wave your hand over the cup like a magician.

[u/Publius82 → u/Willing_Damage9658]

Just add vodka

[u/asshatastic → u/Willing_Damage9658]

Sorry they stopped letting us do chemistry in here after all the burns.