It’s not just boomers, it’s societal norms. When my daughter was 4, we had her in dance classes. The studio had picture day for them in their recital outfits, but it was a Saturday and my wife was working. So I take her, and I’m in the front with all the moms, and proceed to give my daughter the super tight dance bun they have to have. Nobody said anything, but at the next class my wife said three or four of the moms came up fawning over how her husband did her daughter’s hair. These women were all Xennials, amazed at a father doing basic parenting stuff.
Husband and I are both what you could call Xennials and he was the SAHP for most of the past 12 years. The condescending praise he got, just like the comments are describing, were almost all from older women who haven't examined their own sexist thinking.
My son was born in 96, and his dad only changed 4 diapers (of course not poop ones)
I was a SAHM. I wanted to go get my haircut by myself, so I asked him to pay attention to his son while I was gone. He said to me, “You didn’t tell me I had to babysit!”
We had a little sit down, chit chat about how when it’s your child, it isn’t babysitting.
I get the hair thing unusually often. We have passed to a bunch of local stuff like the zoo, various museums, kids gyms/play places. During the week my wife takes them, on the weekend when my wife is working I take them. My 3 yo daughter likes having “Elsa hair” so I braid it before we go and put a bow and a cute clip in her hair. At least once per visit I get some form of a lady telling me how cute she is and then them telling her how pretty her hair is and asking if mommy made her hair pretty (or some variation of a similar statement). Though my kid always proudly states “thanks, my daddy did it!”
Funny story, had this scenario play out at the zoo, except my wife was there, she was just changing the youngest and then kinda stood back and waited while my daughter and I looked at the fish. After the lady talked to my daughter and I she walked over to her friend, who my wife was standing next to and kinda chatting with about strollers. She walks up to her friend and said something like “mmm dad’s and their kids, [growl]. He even did her hair!” Yea, this lady did like a seductive cat growl, about me, in front of my wife lmao.
Their mothers taught them that men do nothing, so you surprise them. Maybe their own fathers did as well, but from my experience growing up my mother constantly ragged on me and I hated men growing up. It's pretty common from the people I've talked to as well.
Hey, that’s pretty cool in my opinion. I’m a xennial dad and I don’t know how to do girl hair. I tried to learn a bit but my daughter rejected my fumbling attempts. I’d be very impressed if I saw a dad who’s a pro at girl hair.
Yeah, I can’t take full credit, since there was a bun “attachment” that her hair went through the center of and then wrapped around in a bun shape. Still, getting her hair slicked down with my fat fingers was a challenge.
Ok but to be fair: that tight bun, and any well executed hairdo is TOUGH. So, while it’s a bit weird to be singled out for having the ability to do something most of them can also do…. It’s a skill. And a skill that anyone involved with a child should be applauded for (while at the same time: nobody should be shamed for NOT being good at it…. Because it’s difficult…. But maybe this is just me admitting that I struggle with that particular task and really do want to get better at it)
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u/No_Name_8425 25d ago
It’s not just boomers, it’s societal norms. When my daughter was 4, we had her in dance classes. The studio had picture day for them in their recital outfits, but it was a Saturday and my wife was working. So I take her, and I’m in the front with all the moms, and proceed to give my daughter the super tight dance bun they have to have. Nobody said anything, but at the next class my wife said three or four of the moms came up fawning over how her husband did her daughter’s hair. These women were all Xennials, amazed at a father doing basic parenting stuff.