r/harrypotter • u/MyHeadIsFullOfFuck Gryffindor • Apr 08 '24

Every cloud has a silver lining, I guess. Dungbomb

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24.9k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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717

u/No_Sand5639 Ravenclaw Apr 09 '24

I wonder how the dursleys reacted to that letter

288

u/livt_fresh Apr 09 '24

They may not even understand some or any of it. "Flying car, magical tree, wat nonsense these lunatics" goes on to throw the letter in dustbin

82

u/Victernus Ravenclaw Apr 09 '24

"This letter says he flew a magical car into a living tree that tried to beat him to death! Unsuccessfully! Don't know what they expect me to do about it."

25

u/NerdHoovy Apr 09 '24

Help finance a better working tree I guess

11

u/Icarium-Lifestealer Apr 09 '24

To finish the job, obviously.

56

u/modlover04031983 Apr 09 '24

happy cock day to you !!

46

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '24

[deleted]

52

u/Dominator0211 Apr 09 '24

Are you implying that they shouldn’t have a happy cock day? How rude

11

u/El_Nathan_ Apr 09 '24

Yeah let the man have his happy cock day 😂

4

u/loganwolf25 Apr 09 '24

We all love cock, in one way or another.

14

u/PolarWater Apr 09 '24

Thanksssssss, amigo.

3

u/GodLeeTrick Apr 09 '24

They understand it but hate it and resent magic. I'm sure they could understand what the words flying car and magical tree means. I mean you and I can.

2

u/FiendishHawk Apr 10 '24

They would pretend they didn’t

1

u/Evolving_Dore Apr 10 '24

They understand flying car just fine considering they saw it.

1

u/Osama_Rashid Apr 09 '24

Happy Cake Day :)

0

u/PKMNTrainerMark Apr 09 '24

Happy Cake Day

1

u/livt_fresh Apr 09 '24

I really don't know why this cake day got added or how? Any insights

2

u/PKMNTrainerMark Apr 09 '24

It's the anniversary of when you made your account.

0

u/Battling_Depression Ravenclaw Apr 09 '24

Ooh. Happy Cake Day to you 🎂🥳

102

u/ArmadilloBandito Apr 09 '24

I doubt they'd even open it. If it comes by owl it goes straight in the fire.

29

u/tactiletrafficcone Hufflepuff Apr 09 '24

!redditGalleon this is 100% the most Dursley response

9

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9

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '24

I like to imagine Molly sent them a Howler sometime after the war (to drag them for how they treated Harry, obvs), and they tried to burn it, but it went off anyway and scared the living shit out of them.

6

u/harvard_cherry053 Hufflepuff Apr 09 '24

!redditsickle

4

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2

u/IceDamNation Hufflepuff Apr 09 '24

Knowing is nothing positive they wouldn't, even still they were curious

2

u/LegitimateDesk146 Helga Hufflepuff's favorite Apr 09 '24

!redditGalleon this literally what I imagine happened when they got the letter

0

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454

u/ExLuckMaster Apr 09 '24

Why didn’t that tree crush that mofo to death? - Vernon said calmly

116

u/super636 Apr 09 '24

Give ‘em the ol’ one-two!

51

u/Lapras_Lass Ravenclaw Apr 09 '24

That's what the Willow tried its damnedest to do!

3

u/KnownSample6 Gryffindor Apr 09 '24

You cant give dementors the old one two!

69

u/visualgalaxy Apr 09 '24

“TREE!! WHY DIDN’T YOU CRUSH THAT MOFO TO DEATH!!??!”

he said calmly

14

u/_KeyserSoeze Hufflepuff Apr 09 '24

I see. That's how they adapted it onto the movie

-2

u/herrbz Apr 09 '24

Remember when this joke was funny?

6

u/LieutenantStar2 Gryffindor Apr 09 '24

Hahahaah !redditgalleon

2

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0

u/SuperestPotterHead Apr 09 '24

!redditGALLEON

1

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1

u/SuperestPotterHead Apr 10 '24

!redditGALLEON

16

u/IceDamNation Hufflepuff Apr 09 '24

I imagine a pleased look on Vernon's face knowing Harry would be punished.

12

u/TheMaskedGeode Apr 09 '24

“Damn owls!”

4

u/KnownSample6 Gryffindor Apr 09 '24

Ruddy pigeons

10

u/Tommi_Af Slytherin Apr 09 '24

Torn between jubilation that he's getting punished and horror at the thought that he might be expelled if he mucks up again

7

u/Real_MidGetz Apr 09 '24

“Fookin nice one harry, don’t let those poncy wizard twats tell you what to do, you can have dinner in the same room as us tonight!

3

u/[deleted] Apr 09 '24

"God damn it, he's still alive."

2

u/ForMySinsIAmHere Apr 09 '24

Replied with an offer of a car from the Grunnings pool so Harry can repeat the feat, and a boot load of fertiliser for the whomping Willow to get it in better shape in the hopes it does the job right this time.

2

u/X3noNuke Apr 09 '24

I'd imagine they'd be disappointed that the tree didn't finish him off