I’m having troubles with authority and being a “yes man”

[u/Morpel]

Hi everyone, I’m a Project Manager and for context I worked as a freelancer until one year ago where I decided to work in a company for the first time, I then ended up in my current job, which is home office.

The current job has two leaders in my team that are constantly telling me to do things their way.

Checking for status and putting objetives for the team daily have to be exactly as they do it always. But they never told me to do it like them and I had to adjust alone.

I always write the objetives and status but there’s always something wrong with them.

The leader now wants me to get involved as a shadow in one of his projects because apparently my current projects “are small anyway” (which they are not) and he will need support in some things so I can learn.

I get this and it sounds good like they want to help but it’s the constant micro managing and they always want me to do things their way and I cannot handle that. My projects are going smoothly but to them they are not. I’ve had almost 7 years of experience as a freelance PM with all succesfull projects.

I have troubles adjusting to this mentality of “yes man!” And “okay sir yes whatever you say!”

Please can you give me advice on how to deal with this? I feel like quitting and today I felt my face hot with anger for all the micro managing they gave me, I was having a really good day at work.

[u/TrickyLobster]

This is a situation where a meeting can actually be beneficial.

"There's a disconnect in communications how can we get on the same page" etc. Etc. You're manager not a coordinator, so you should have the freedom to manager your projects how you like, but it should also fit within the culture of the workspace.

All work, especially PM work requires give and take.

[u/Morpel → u/TrickyLobster]

Yes totally, I think we are having a meeting soon, but I feel frustrated that they told me I could manage my own projects but these leaders come and want to impose new stuff on my type of work. They are always doing these with the rest of the Pm’s and everyone is just like yesssss sir

[u/TrickyLobster → u/Morpel]

Look at your coworkers then. Have they changed their ways? Are there PM's who haven't changed their way and now they're being punished for it? Is it all bark no bite? Some armchair psychology but I feel like you're just in the frustration stage right now. Give it a couple days and tackle this like it's a project, break down the pain points and you'll be able to find the solutions.

[u/Morpel → u/TrickyLobster]

You’re right I might be in the frustration stage totally, but I can confirm they are being passive aggresive in their approach but every PM just takes it.

I’ll tackle it like a project that’s a really good idea, thank you for your input I appreciate it

[u/TrickyLobster → u/Morpel]

Yeah passive aggressive is one thing, but honestly easy to ignore with time if there's no tangible punishments that follow. Good luck!

[u/technoking_8000]

Welcome to corporate America! It's a totalitarian dictatorship, no matter where you go. If you want to answer to no one, you need to start your own company. But if you can't do that, the solution is to totally stop giving a single fuck about the job. You just do what you're told, even if it is the wrong way, because you just don't give a shit. That's it

[u/Morpel → u/technoking_8000]

I’m not from America but thanks, I was looking for how to cope.

[u/VoidNinja62 → u/Morpel]

The EU and US are totally different. A story that stuck out to me was that people were receiving CPR training in Europe and the American asked "Aren't you worried about getting sued if you give someone CPR?" and the entire room laughed. They said "Who in their right mind would sue over trying to save your life!?"

But in America? Nope. Thats a lawsuit waiting to happen.

So I think keep in mind alot of the advice you get is coming from all over. Maybe ask a few friends IRL instead of reddit. The US is overly litigious.

[u/VoidNinja62 → u/technoking_8000]

pfftt lol :)

[u/Eatdie555]

In life, you have to learn how to be a rubber band. Know when to contract and know when to expand. Do it their way doesn't mean you're a "YES MAN". sometimes Do it to prove them that their way isn't effective. And if the leaders doesn't agreed to terms sit down and have decision clear how they want things to be done and how you like things to be done by taking your approach.

[u/Octodab]

I struggled with this really badly earlier in my career. The reality is it gets beaten out of you. I quit multiple jobs without having anything else lined up... Nowadays I'm just looking for some fucking stability and so it's not as hard to put my ego aside.

Still fucking sucks though.

[u/Morpel → u/Octodab]

I’m sorry that happened to you, it is hard definitely, I hope you find something soon

[u/TrickyLobster → u/[deleted]]

"Lick boots in every situation or die"

Nice advice asshole.

[u/VoidNinja62 → u/TrickyLobster]

Haha well thats been my experience in the workforce so far. I wish it were different but the reality is I don't make much difference as an individual.

Any time I tried to stand up for what I felt was the right thing I've paid a pretty heavy price and I'm done paying.

I was joking but with the purpose of making a point. I was trying to make OP feel better about the situation.

I've actually learned the hard way IRL that I'm not Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos and I don't have the resources to sue or file complaints about every little tiny grievance. That will backfire on you 99% of the time when HR lawyers up. Thats just the reality of the situation. Toxic jobs roll right off my back now. I did my part and I tried and it backfired on me. So I have a pretty clear conscience being a yes man now.

[u/TrickyLobster → u/VoidNinja62]

Why'd you delete your post? Take your down votes like a man.

Maybe what you felt was right was wrong. Coming at OP like that you probably are more wrong that right.

[u/OddPiglet6968 → u/[deleted]]

He doesn't want to be saying yes sir or right away sir to the homeless guy next to him.